The Baby Arrangement (A Winston Brother's Novel #1)

by J. L. Beck

  The fork in his hand falls, clanking loudly against the plate. He tries to grab it before it makes any more noise and I almost laugh, because for the first time ever I’ve left the playboy himself flabbergasted.

  “Does that mean you’re agreeing… to the arrangement?” Reed stumbles over his words as if he can’t believe what he is hearing.

  I shake my head slowly, “No, I’m not. I’m just saying, you don’t own me and have no right to the jealousy you’re feeling. You might not want me, but that doesn’t stop another man from wanting me.” I study him closely. “If I do agree to this arrangement, are you saying you want me to be alone forever? Am I not supposed to have someone to love me other than our child?”

  Reed shakes his head angrily. “No, Fallon that’s not what I’m saying…” He’s frustrated with me and all the things I’m saying, but it’s true. What will happen to me if I agree to do this, to have his baby? Will he someday get to find love with someone else or will we both be left unloved?

  My stomach churns, and as I look down at my favorite meal I lose all my appetite. I can’t eat right now. Not feeling the way I do.

  “I just… seeing you with someone else kills me a little bit inside.” I blink realizing that he’s just admitted to having feelings for me, at least in a roundabout way. His face goes white, like he’s just realized what he said. As if his words are the final nails in the coffin of our friendship.

  “Me too, Reed. Me too.” I feel tears form in my eyes and I’m not even really sure why. All I know is I need to get away from him, at least for a few minutes.

  Without a word I stand, throwing my napkin down on the table and avoiding his penetrating gaze. I head straight towards the bathroom, the tears slipping free from my eyes as I shove through the door.

  My heart aches, and my body trembles and I wonder…

  Am I doomed to be alone forever?

  Fallon silently sulks all the way back to my place, staring out the window and doing everything she can to act like we’re not in this car together. She finally turns to face me when I pull into my parking spot with a disbelieving look on her face.

  “Why are we here?”

  I know she’s expecting an answer, but if I’m not careful she’ll demand I take her home and I can’t risk that. We need to talk. I need a chance to show her the jealous asshole I was at dinner isn’t the real me. Well, that’s not entirely true because I’ve always been a possessive guy when it comes to her. I just haven’t been able to show it before now.

  If Fallon knew just how much I hate the thought of any other man putting his hands on her she’d roll her eyes and tell me I’m ridiculous before demanding I take her home and forget all about this baby making idea.

  Her mouth drops open in shock when I get out of the car without responding, and I watch as she fumbles with the door handle in her rush to follow me and get answers.

  “Seriously, Reed?” She stomps over to where I’m standing with a scowl on her face. “You’re just going to ignore me now?” When I still don’t say anything, she growls in frustration before muttering, “So much for being adults about this.”

  It’s hard to keep a straight face when she crosses her arms over her chest and glares at me, but I manage. Ignoring her anger, I cup her elbow with one hand and direct her to the group of elevators that will bring us up to my penthouse apartment.

  Surprisingly, she doesn’t fight me, and after a silent—other than her loud sighs and grumbling complaints—ride up to the ninth floor, she practically stomps down the hallway to my door. As soon as the door shuts behind us, she spins around to face me once more.

  It’s a good thing I know deep down she loves me, because if I didn’t, I’d be worried she’s trying to decide the best way to castrate me. She’s probably considering kneeing me in the balls. It wouldn’t be the first time…probably not the last, either.

  I leave her standing in the middle of my living room while I grab us both a drink from the small wet bar I have set up in the corner. I need a few minutes to gather my thoughts, even though I know keeping my silence is only going to further incense her.

  Fallon has to agree to do this. Yeah, it was her idea, but now she’s doubting it and thinking it’s a bad idea. I need to convince her it’s the best fucking idea ever, my idiotic behavior tonight notwithstanding. When I turn back to where I left her, she’s no longer there. Shit. I panic for a second, thinking she left the moment my back was turned, but then realize the door never made a sound so she has to be in here somewhere.

  I walk aimlessly around the house, checking the kitchen, the bathroom, and the office and almost sigh in relief when I finally find her standing in my barely lit bedroom. Her arms are still crossed over her chest and she’s staring out the French doors leading out to my small balcony. The view from here is amazing, and the way she reacted when she saw it the day she went apartment hunting with me is what made me sign the lease.

  I still remember her huge smile, and the happiness that flickered in her eyes. She loves this place more than I do. Taking her in for a moment, just a second where she’s unaware I’m here, I admire how the city lights in the distance illuminate her body. They almost create a halo around her, and I can’t stop myself from walking over to stand behind her.

  Fallon’s body tenses when my chest brushes up against her back, and I reach one arm around to hand her a glass of amber-colored whiskey. This one is her favorite, one that I only keep here for her to drink. Personally, I prefer scotch, but the first time she tried this one she went on and on about vanilla and almonds and I don’t even remember what else.

  Even though she’s angry, Fallon still smiles when she takes the glass from me. “At least you have decent alcohol here.” I have to swallow my laugh because it’s not like this shit is top shelf. It’s dirty, cheap alcohol, but that’s just the way she is. Fallon’s not the type of woman to care about what my money can buy. It’s another reason this agreement between us makes so much sense. I don’t have to worry that she’s a gold digger and she knows I’ll take care of her. Now, I just have to show her how I’m going to do that.

  “Before we talk, I want you to know I wasn’t intentionally trying to hurt you. I hope you understand that.” I speak softly, wanting to kiss the exposed flesh at the back of her neck.

  “I do understand.” She turns so we’re face to face, her lips almost touching mine. Her beauty takes my breath away and makes me think things I shouldn’t be thinking about doing to her. “I wasn’t upset because you went all alpha. I was upset because you said you were mad about seeing me with someone else…”

  “I was…” My voice cracks, giving away my emotions, and before I can finish what I want to say she’s kissing me, taking charge of the moment.

  Her lips fuse to mine, devouring them with little effort. I wanted to test her tonight, to see if she would let me touch her, let me explore her body, but I realize now that it’s her that’s testing me.

  She pulls away breathlessly. “You don’t think I feel the same? You think I enjoy seeing you parade around those skinny blondes, the ones who seem to get dumber every time you pick a new one?” Her comment causes my lips to twitch, and for once, I’m glad to hear her real thoughts on all my one-night stands.

  “You’ve never acted like you care.” I know I sound petulant, but it’s the truth. Fallon has always been friendly to any girl she’s seen me with, even when they were all threatened by her because we’re so close.

  She takes a step back. There’s nowhere for her to go. Her back is against the window and when her body stiffens, I know she’s realized it, too. I want to step closer, but I know she needs the distance to be able to say what she’s thinking.

  “How was I supposed to act, Reed?” she asks with a mirthless laugh. “It’s not like me hating them would’ve made you stop having sex with them.”

  I can’t stand knowing the sadness in her voice is because of my actions. Fallon is always so self-sufficient, so self-reliant, I forget how sensitive and
fragile she can be.

  Before I can apologize...again...she tips the glass up to her lips and gulps the whiskey down like it’s water, then walks past me to sit on the edge of my bed.

  “You wanted to talk about this arrangement, so let’s get it over with.” Her voice is just completely void of emotion. She sounds like she’s waiting for a verdict in court and expecting it to be guilty. This isn’t what I wanted at all.

  I know she’s expecting me to sit beside her, but if I do that, she’ll be able to hide her true feelings by not looking at me. Instead, I grab a chair that sits off in the corner and pull it over so I’m sitting directly in front of her.

  “Okay, let’s talk.”

  Now that the moment is here, I have no idea what I want to say. I had everything planned out, but seeing Fallon almost naked, plus having Charlie showing up at our table during dinner, has me completely off my game.

  Pointing one finger up in the air, Fallon starts. “First, I want to go on record as saying I think this is an awful idea.”

  I can’t help but laugh. “Fallon, it was your idea.”

  “I know,” she agrees with a nod, “that’s why I know it’s a bad one. Ideas that sound good when you’re drunk should never be considered valid.”

  Scooting closer to the edge of the seat, I take her hands in mine. “Fallon.” My voice is quiet, so low she has to lean forward in order to hear me. “Think about it. A baby that’s half you and half me? Can’t you see how amazing that would be?” She shakes her head and starts to speak, but I talk over her, not wanting to hear whatever arguments she has.

  “You know how important the company is to me, how much I want to keep it in my family. Together, we can do that. Besides, I can’t think of anyone I trust more than you. That’s how I know this will work.”

  Her shoulders fall, and she looks a little dejected, but before I can ask why, she straightens her spine and looks me in the eyes. “If we’re really going to do this, we need some rules.” I nod in agreement, trying not to smile. She’s going to do this. If she was one hundred percent against it she wouldn’t even be discussing it.

  “I agree.” Her eyes look anywhere but at me while she’s contemplating what she’s going to say next. I don’t think she’s even noticed she’s chewing on her nails, something she used to do all the time when she was small. Her mother spent so much time yelling at her and trying different things that were supposed to stop her nail-biting, but nothing ever did. She only does it now when she’s really worried about something.

  “I think the first rule should be…” I pause, not sure how she’s going to react to this. “No falling in love.” I see sadness flicker in her eyes again, but I push the knowledge away. I can’t love Fallon, even if I want too. She might be under my skin, but being with me would eventually destroy one of us.

  She sighs, “Right. And it’s nothing more than sex.” The mere thought of Fallon beneath me, my cock slipping in and out of her sweetness, has me wanting to end this conversation so I can show her just how much pleasure she’ll have.

  “Just sex. No love.” My voice cracks as I repeat the words, realizing how fucked up this arrangement is going to be.

  She points a finger into my chest, her nail pushing against my cotton shirt. “Which means, no more funny business like tonight.”

  “Nope. Not. Ever. Again.” I pause with each word, but my eyes never look away from her mouth. I want to kiss her until we’re both breathless. As soon as we finish our negotiations, that’s exactly what I’m going to do.

  There needs to be something in place to keep us from getting too involved. I can’t risk her falling in love with me, and there’s absolutely no way I can fall for her, not more than I already have. “I think we need a second rule.”

  She looks a little surprised and a whole lot wary. “A second rule?”

  “Yeah.” The more I think about it, the more it makes sense. “Rule number two. Falling in love will end the contract, rendering it null and void.” I’m making all of this crap up as I go along, but having that one safeguard in place makes me breathe a sigh of relief.

  She looks like she’s deep in thought, her teeth worrying her lip as she considers my addition. I’m barely breathing as I wait for her to make a decision, and finally, she nods slowly. “Okay. I don’t think we need that rule because I have no plans to fall in love with you, but if you want it to be a rule, I’ll agree to it.”

  I lean in close, wanting so badly to kiss her as I whisper the words, “I don’t want it to be a rule Fallon. I need it to be one. It’s to protect us.” I finally give in, touching my mouth to hers lightly, brushing her lips with mine once, then twice, before pulling back to meet her eyes.

  “Then should we practice, since we’re going to eventually have to sleep together…” Fallon’s cheeks turn an attractive shade of pink at the word, and I almost laugh. She can’t be that innocent, can she?

  “Have you ever slept with a man before?” The thought of me being her first has me rock hard.

  I watch as she bites the inside of her cheek and know the answer to my question as her eyes refuse to meet mine. She’s a fucking virgin. How is that even possible? I can’t pick up my jaw off the floor. I’m that shocked, but I’m also turned on. Knowing no other man has touched her before, I want nothing more than to take her, right here, right now. But, I don’t know exactly how innocent she is and if I scare her I could screw this up before we even start.

  Blood rushes in my ears and heats my cheeks when I realize what he just asked. Are you a virgin? His eyes pierce mine when I look up at him and I know one way or another I’m going to have to tell him. “Do I have to say it out loud? You obviously already know.” I want to curl up in a ball in the corner of the room. I’m so embarrassed.

  But then he smiles, this big ass cheesy grin, and I feel like something has shifted between us, like the earth has shifted on its axis.

  “You have no fucking clue how hard that makes me, do you?” I blink, looking up at him in astonishment. Did he really just say what I think he did?

  “W...Why does that make you…” I ask, skirting around the word. “You know…?” Reed smirks and starts to unbutton his shirt. I can feel my thighs clench with need and I want him. I want him so badly I can almost taste him on my tongue.

  “Because as strange as it is, knowing I’ll be your first makes me feel like a god. I know I’ll make it perfect for you.”

  His cocky words should make me angry, but they don’t. They turn me on so much my body shifts uncomfortably against the sheets. I’ve always wanted Reed to be my first, to be the man I choose to give myself to.

  “What are you doing?” I squeak, watching as he takes off his jacket and finishes unbuttoning his dress shirt. My mouth waters when I catch a peek of his abs beneath the undershirt he’s wearing. We aren’t actually going to do it yet, are we? I don’t know if I’m ready to go there tonight.

  Reed smirks, using one arm to grip the neck of his undershirt at the back of his head. He yanks it off, letting it fall to the ground and revealing his stunning body to me. “I owe you an apology and we need to test the waters. Let me make you feel good, Fallon. Let me give you the best orgasm of your life.”

  It takes me a minute to realize what he’s asking. My best friend is asking me if he can give me an orgasm and all I can think is, yes, yes please get me off. I want to scream the word, but settle for a breathless yes and nod.

  As soon as I give my permission, he pounces, crawling up over me and forcing me to lie back on the bed. His huge arms cage me in, and I feel safe in his arms, like nothing can hurt me ever again. My eyes close when his mouth covers mine. This kiss is nothing like any of the others I’ve had. Reed devours my mouth, his tongue thrusting in and out the way I wish another part of him was between my legs.

  He explores every inch of my mouth before abandoning it to trail kisses down my jaw. My body quivers with need, my breaths coming out in pants and my body going taut when his teeth scrape my earlobe. Reed�
��s lips continue moving down my throat, stopping briefly when they touch the fabric of my dress. The anticipation is going to kill me. I already feel like I’m about to come, and he’s barely touched me.

  I tremble, waiting for him to do something, anything, to ease my ache. When all he does is brush soft kisses along the edge of my collar, I can’t stop my pleas.

  “Reed,” I moan, “please…I need....” My head thrashes back and forth against the soft comforter. I don’t know how to ask for what I want.

  His head lifts, and the smile he gives me promises all sorts of dirty things, “I know what you need, sweetheart,” he murmurs.

  One finger dips under the edge of the fabric, barely touching my overheated skin and leaving a trail of goose bumps in its wake. My back arches in a desperate attempt to get closer, and when he pulls the top of my dress down to bare my breasts I’m instantly glad I chose to wear it because it’s stretchy enough that he can.

  I expect him to move the cup of my bra out of his way, but he doesn’t. Instead he uses his tongue to trace my nipple through it, soaking the silk and making it rub provocatively against my skin. Using his hand, he plucks my other nipple, causing it to harden more, elongating for him like it’s begging for his mouth.

  He alternates between licking and sucking my nipples until I’m writhing on the bed beneath him, the only sound in the room my whimpers and the wet sound of his mouth against my flesh.

  My attention is so focused on what he’s doing to the upper half of my body, I don’t notice his hand move until his finger traces a path up my inner thigh. I jolt at the contact, and he chuckles, the sound vibrating against my sensitive breast.

  Reed’s finger traces the edge of my panties, never touching the spot I need him to the most. I groan in frustration and attempt to move my hips up, trying to force him right where I want him. Instead of getting what I want, I’m shocked when he bites down on my nipple, pleasure and a tinge of pain rushing through me. That’s when he raises his mouth to hover over mine.