The Baby Arrangement (A Winston Brother's Novel #1)

by J. L. Beck

  “Can you please move?” I ask, a slight tremble in my voice that I hate. I should have just stayed at the table with Reed.

  I don’t even care that I’m being rude. This guy doesn’t deserve my attention. Hell, he doesn’t even deserve the “please” I used.

  Ryan takes a step forward, forcing me to step back in order keep our bodies from touching anymore, and each time I do he takes another and another until I can’t back up any further. My back is against the wall, and there’s nowhere for me to go. Panic consumes me, and like a rabbit caught in a snare, my heart starts trying to beat out of my chest.

  He still doesn’t stop, not until our chests are touching. I do everything I can not to take a deep breath, and as I watch him warily, he leans closer, his warm breath almost caressing my skin. The sensation makes my flesh crawl, and bile rises in my throat.

  When I thought about getting some air, and escaping Reed’s shitty behavior, I never expected it to lead to this. I’m about to shove him away from me when I see Reed at the end of the corridor. He stops in his tracks when he sees the two of us standing so close, and I’m filled with the need to show him I don’t need him.

  Yes, Ryan is a creep, and I know he’s only attracted to me because he wants what Reed has. I might be slightly terrified of him, because I know Reed hates him, and there has to be a reason to feel that way, but right now, in this moment, I don’t care.

  I just want Reed to feel some of the rage coursing through my veins at the thought of him being with someone who isn’t me. I want to show him what it will be like if he doesn’t face his feelings head on. So I do the unthinkable, the one thing I know I shouldn’t do … I kiss Ryan.

  I swear the air becomes stifling the moment our lips meet, his not as soft as Reeds. He doesn’t react to the kiss at first, his body stiff, and his hands remaining at his sides. That all changes when Reed growls deep in his throat, making his appearance known.

  Then Ryan grins against my lips, and his hands grip my waist, pulling me flush against his body. I gasp at the sudden movement and he takes advantage, his tongue darting into my mouth. His taste floods my senses, and I immediately regret my actions. Where Reed’s taste makes me crazy with need, Ryan’s has me trying not to throw up. I don’t even know how to describe the difference. It’s not that Ryan has bad breath or tastes like an ashtray, it’s just he’s not what I want.

  Now that we’re so close, I can smell the faint scent of another woman’s perfume on him. That’s why he was leaving that room earlier. He was in there with someone. Someone who’s probably still in there and seconds away from coming out to see us here. I don’t know why I didn’t pick up on that earlier.

  The thought makes me feel dirty, but I don’t have much time to dwell on it before Ryan is suddenly yanked away from me and all I can see is Reed. The rage on his face is downright scary, and it takes everything I have not to break down and apologize for what I’ve just done.

  I need Reed to admit, even if it’s just to himself, that what he’s feeling isn’t something you would normally feel for someone who’s just a friend, even one with benefits. He’s jealous because his feelings for me are deeper than that. He just needs to admit it, out loud, to me.

  I’m not sure what I expected to happen when I kissed Ryan, but Reed’s silence definitely isn’t it. He’s so pissed off he’s practically vibrating. I open my mouth to say something, though I have no idea what, but before I can make a sound he grabs my wrist and stalks back down the hallway, away from the door I was originally going to leave through.

  I’m forced to walk fast to keep up with him, so fast I’m almost jogging, which isn’t easy in heels, but he doesn’t give any indication that he even notices.

  I’m too terrified by how angry he is to say anything, so I endure it. I would apologize, but am I really sorry? Maybe for putting myself through that kiss, but for Reed seeing it? It was needed, even if it did hurt him to see it.

  “I’m so fucking angry right now I could strangle you.” Reed snaps, fury radiating from him.

  I blink away the fear I was feeling moments ago and try to wrench my arm out of his grasp. Why does he get to be mad? He’s the one who’s been treating me like I’m invisible since we got here. I’ve at least tried to make him talk to me, but he refused.

  If anyone is to blame for this it’s him, and I’m going to make sure he knows it.

  “Yeah?” Putting one hand on my hip, I tilt my head to the side and raise an eyebrow. “You aren’t the only one.” He scoffs, but I’m not finished. “I’m not the one who spent the entire night ignoring my date. I’m not the one who’s acting like I betrayed him somehow. We. Aren’t. Together. Reed. You have no say in who I talk to, who I date, who I kiss...and definitely not who I fuck.”

  He leans down so we’re eye to eye, and the heat of his glare feels like it’s going to scorch me where I stand. “You’re not fucking anyone but me, Fallon.”

  Argh. He makes me so. Damn. Mad I don’t even know what to say to him. I’m completely speechless. So, instead of keeping the argument going here in the hotel lobby, I stalk past him with my head held high and make my way to the valet station.

  He’s not going to win this battle. Not today. Not tomorrow. If he wants me to be his then he needs to make up his mind. I’m not going to put my heart through a grinder so he can keep his safe.

  The two young guys running valet don’t bother to hide their perusal of my body, and I smile inwardly at the knowledge that seeing that is going to push Reed closer to the edge. Maybe if I piss him off enough he’ll admit his feelings. Maybe then we’ll be able to move forward.

  “What do you think you’re doing?” Reed seethes behind me. I ignore him, snatching the keys from the guy holding them out to me. He smiles, and I take it upon myself to thank him.

  “Thank you so much.” I smile back at him and head towards the parking lot. I can hear Reed huffing and puffing behind me.

  He’s livid, but so am I. And it doesn’t seem like either of us plans to give up.

  “You’re going to pay for letting him kiss you tonight.” Reed is breathing down my neck by the time I make it to the car. Feeling braver than I ever have before, I turn on him, making it known I’m not backing down from this fight.

  “I’d like to see you try to make me do anything.” Shoving a finger into his perfect fitting tux I remind him that I’m not his. “You don’t own me Reed. Nothing about me belongs to you, and the sooner you realize that, the sooner we can get on with this stupid arrangement, since that’s all I am to you. A means to an end; the missing puzzle piece in this shitstorm.”

  He doesn’t say anything else and maybe that’s for the best since I’m not sure what I’d say if he did. Instead, he leaves me to get into the car, making his way over to the passenger side.

  A ghost of a smile forms on my lips. I’m braver today than I was yesterday, and I’m definitely not afraid to admit I love my best friend.

  There aren’t words to describe the emotions I’m feeling right now. Anger at myself, at Fallon, at Ryan … hell, at everyone. Half of me wishes I could be the man she needs, the man she deserves, but I’m not. I never will be. Knowing that doesn’t keep her sloppy kiss with Ryan from playing in my mind on repeat. All it does is heighten the simmering rage inside me.

  Our entire drive home is silent, and even though I want to scream at her, to pour my heart out and confess my love, I can’t. Not if I want us to remain just friends. I’m really starting to hate that goddamn word.

  When she finally pulls up to her apartment, I almost thank the damn Lord out loud. I need to get out of this car and away from her intoxicating scent. She’s making me think things I shouldn’t, making me feel emotions I didn’t even know existed.

  Fallon escapes the car, leaving the keys in the ignition, and me to grapple for control over my emotions. If I go inside that house with her, everything is going to change. I won’t be held responsible for the things I say or do.

  Then again, I already h
ave half my foot in the grave. If Fallon and I don’t go through with this, that asswipe will be taking over my father’s company. Making my choice, I open my door, kill the engine, and step outside into the cold. Fallon’s just barely made it up the steps when I reach her.

  “I think it’s hilarious that you actually think it’s going to work this way.” I’m shaking with anger, with need, with something raw inside me. “That you think you’re just going to be able to go inside and act like I never saw you kiss him.” My nostrils flare when I say the words, causing her scent to overwhelm my senses.

  “I don’t belong to you, Reed.” Fallon whirls around to face me, hissing like a snake. She opens the door and walks inside, so of course I follow, not done with this conversation or her. I smile because I know what she will be like when I finish with her. She’ll be nothing more than a writhing mess, begging me to take her.

  “You don’t,” I sneer, “but we have an agreement. One where you promised to give me a baby. That doesn’t include you hooking up with someone else.” Disappointment laces my words, but Fallon ignores my comment, closing the door behind her. She doesn’t seem to care if I’m here or not and that annoys me further. I need her to want me. I want her to need me.

  “So I kissed him,” She sighs, kicking off her heels, and when I continue to glare her, she shoves her hands through her hair and groans. “I didn’t fuck him! It was just a little kiss.” I watch as she pulls her hair into a tight bun. Once that’s done, she grips the zipper on the side of her dress like she’s about to remove it.

  If she takes that dress off, there will be no stopping me from taking what I want—her.

  I clench my fists, my knuckles growing white.

  “I mean, for someone who doesn’t want me as more than a friend, you’re being awfully territorial.” The smirk she gives me taunts the part of me that wants to devour her. The part that wants to confess all the things I love about her. In fact, I have to stop for a second and ask myself if this is what she really wanted… for me to claim her? To confess my feelings for her? Because if so, I don’t know if I can do it, not at the risk of losing her.

  I choose to ignore the signs she’s giving me. “He’s a fucking creep, Fallon, and you were my date tonight, my fucking date. I’m not even going to mention that he’s the fucking douche that will get the company if this—” I gesture between us. “—doesn’t work out, which by the looks of things right now it’s heading that way.” Fallon once again doesn’t seem to be fazed by my outburst of anger at all. In fact, she seems to smile a little at every word that spills from my lips.

  “Do you think this is fucking funny?” I growl, cornering her. I feel feral. Possessive and jealous of Ryan touching her, for pressing his tainted lips against hers. Her pink tongue darts out over her bottom lip and I can’t stop myself. I have to have her, just a taste…

  That’s all I need. One. Taste.

  I pounce right as she pulls down the zipper on her dress. The fabric hugging her perfect curves falls to the floor, leaving only Fallon, stripped bare, her body seeming to glow in the dim light of the living room, and my mouth waters.

  “The only thing I think is funny is that you keep telling me we can be just friends. That we can fuck and everything will be the same.” She leans forward so she’s only a millimeter away from my lips. “But we can’t do that, Reed. We can’t fuck and have everything stay the same. Not when emotions are involved.” I don’t want to hear her say it. I don’t want to listen to her tell me she loves me, that sex changed what we had. But there’s a sick part of me that does want her to say it. I want to know how she feels about me. I just don’t want to lose her.

  I can’t lose her.

  “Say it.” My breath fans against her lips, and I don’t know why I’m asking her to do this. “Say sex changed us. Say it and I’ll show you it hasn’t.” It’s the only thing I can think to say, and if she says it, I will do it. I’ll prove to her that it hasn’t changed anything. Not a damn fucking thing.

  “Sex. Changed. Us.” Each word out of her mouth is like a punch to the gut, but I take it, absorbing the pain back into my body. Then, I kiss her. I claim her lips, her mouth opening to me like she want me as badly as I want her.

  That’s the one thing we can’t lie about. We both want this, want each other.

  My tongue swipes against hers, as though we’re making love with nothing but our mouths. I want to kiss her roughly, to devour her, but I can’t. Something tells me I need to take her gently.

  A soft whimper escapes Fallon as her arms wrap around my neck, forcing our bodies closer, and suddenly I’m wearing too many clothes and she isn’t wearing enough. I guide us to her bedroom, a push and pull forming between us.

  I want her, but can’t have her the way I need to.

  “I’m going to fuck you until you beg me to stop,” I promise, pulling her bottom lip into my mouth and sucking, watching as her eyes roll back in her head.

  “Don’t threaten me with a good time, Reed.” Without warning I sink my teeth into that swollen lip of hers. If she’s going to be sass me, then I’m going to punish her.

  “Get on the fucking bed.” I growl, releasing her so she can follow my command, and start undressing myself. She watches me through hooded eyes as each strip of fabric falls to the floor, and seeing the lust in her expression makes me more frantic to have her.

  I’m down to my boxer briefs and she’s standing in front of me. For some reason, the fact that she’s defying me turns me on even more and I shove them down my hips, kicking them away and not giving a damn where they land.

  As soon as I’m naked, I rush her, both our bodies falling on the bed. I keep one arm around her back and plant my free hand on the mattress so I don’t crush her, but the force of our falling presses my cock against her wet flesh. I grit my teeth trying to keep from shoving myself inside her right now.

  Even as pissed as I am at her, the last thing I want to do is hurt her. She’s not worried about it at all though, and as soon as we land, her lips fuse to mine and she opens to allow my tongue entrance.

  I kiss her as hard as I fucking can, doing my damnedest to erase any memory she has of Ryan’s mouth on hers. Fallon should never kiss anyone but me. I know that goes against everything I keep trying to convince myself of, but right now, at this moment, I’m not able to be rational. I want to mark her in every possible way so any man she comes into contact with will know she’s taken.

  I want them all to know she’s mine. All mine and no one else’s for as long as this lasts.

  It’s shitty, but I even find myself kind of hoping she doesn’t get pregnant, because that means she’ll be mine for that much longer. Just thinking it makes me an asshole, because I know it’s something she’s worried about.

  Fallon’s needy moan brings me back to the present and her body writhing beneath me finally registers. She wants me to fuck her just as much as I need to do it right now, but I need to prepare her first because even though I want to pound into the mattress, I want to make sure she’s as wet as humanly possible. It needs to be good for her. I’ll never be able to live with myself if I hurt her.

  Trailing kisses down her throat, I stop at her breasts, plumping them both with my hands while sucking marks into the top of each one. Her head thrashes back and forth on the pillow, not paying a bit of attention to the red spots I’m leaving on her chest.

  I relish the moment, marking her as mine and knowing there is nothing she can do to stop me. When she sees them later, she’ll be livid, but there won’t be anything she can do and I just can’t bring myself to care. I need everyone to know she’s mine...even if it’s just for tonight.

  By the time I pull one of her nipples into my mouth, they’re tight little knots and practically straining towards me. Her hands release the sheets she’s been twisting to grip the sides of my head, and I know what she’s trying to do.

  She’s trying to keep me in place, trying to show me what she needs. But tonight I’m in control, and her bo
dy is going to be at the mercy of my cock, hands, and mouth.

  “Did his kiss make you feel like this?” I growl against her nipple, flicking my tongue against the pebbled flesh. She shakes her head back and forth frantically, her wide eyes pleading with me for a release I know she’s on the verge of receiving.

  “Words, Fallon. Use them, or I won’t let you come,” I lie, knowing there’s no way I could deny her the pleasure that she needs, wants, and deserves. She’s my queen, and it’s my duty to provide her with the best orgasms of her life.

  “No,” she gasps, “his kiss didn’t do anything. It made me feel dirty. Bad. It was wrong.” I hang on to every word, enjoying the misery that kiss brought her far more than I should.

  I smile against her smooth flesh before moving south, my tongue licking a path over her skin. My fingers sink into her hips as I lift her ass, bringing it to my face. Her legs fall to the side as if she’s possessed with a need she doesn’t understand.

  “Good, because you belong to me.” I press my tongue against her swollen clit, love how the desire she has for me glistens down her thighs. “Your pussy is begging for me to taste it, isn’t it? It wants me to claim it. Is that what you want too, Fallon? For me to own you? To own your body the way we both know I own your heart?” I can’t stop saying the words. Her scent is flooding my sense, and it causes something inside me to snap.

  “I want you. Please…” She’s pleading with me, her silky brown hair fanned out against the white sheets, and her deep green eyes peering up at me. She’s looking at me like her life starts and ends with me, and for tonight, I’ll let her think that.

  “You have me, Fallon. I belong to you.” I say the words against her pussy, my fingers spreading her lips so I can taste her. She whimpers against the contact, but I don’t let up. I circle that tight little bundle of nerves, stopping only when her fingers are squeezing my head and her legs start to shake, her orgasm gushing from deep inside her.