But Clara had nearly made him stay.
I wouldn’t have Hunter if I’d made another choice.
He’d make this work. His life, his company, his son, he’d find the balance. Not overnight but he would eventually. Especially with Clara’s help.
Except she wasn’t helping right now. No, she was upstairs getting ready for her date.
It should be me she’s out with. Not someone else.
As much as that knowledge burned within him, he’d been honest when he’d said Todd was likely the better man. Years ago, he’d made the choice that her friendship was more important than anything else. Though it had been hard to banish the old feelings, he’d done it for her sake. Sending her to Todd was no different. All he had to offer her was baggage and money, and Clara had never been moved by dollar bills.
“I suppose I have you to offer now,” he said to the baby. “You’re a far bigger draw than I am.”
Hunter stuck his foot in his eager mouth in a move that would put seasoned yoga masters to shame.
A click of heels on the stairs caught his ear. Laying Hunter down in his playpen, he moved toward the doorway.
And wished he’d never seen her leave.
Clara paused halfway down the stairs, one black stiletto heel posed to take the next step.
The dark blue dress she sported hugged her body in a way that made his mouth water. Even in college she’d been concerned about her weight, and he’d never understood why. Her lush curves should make any man who saw her want her. He certainly had, even though he’d been dating her roommate. By the time that relationship had ended, he’d waited too long. They’d become fast friends, and it was a relationship he’d never wanted to jeopardize, even then.
Idiot.
She started moving again, stepping toward him carefully. His eyes ran up her bare legs to the swinging navy skirt that accentuated her waist. The bodice clung to her breasts, and he was tempted to hook a finger on the neckline and see if it would be as easy to pull down as it looked.
Her brown hair was curled and pulled back from her face, which sported more dramatic makeup than he was used to seeing her in. Around the penthouse, she tended to go more natural, probably because touching up her lipstick with a baby screaming its fool head off wasn’t much of a priority. Tonight, however, she’d clearly pulled out all the stops.
For another man.
She stopped on the last step, putting them almost on eye level. Unable to stay away from her, he strode closer.
“You look beautiful,” he said.
A blush stained her cheeks as she nibbled her lower lip. “It’s not too much?”
“If he isn’t a complete moron, he’ll be eating out of the palm of your hand before the appetizers arrive.”
She smiled as fresh confidence flowed into her expression. “Appetizers? Think it will really take that long?”
“No,” he murmured. “I don’t think it will take long at all.”
Her eyes softened and she opened her mouth before closing it. Trying again, she said, “How was work?”
“We got the distribution deal.”
Surprise flooded her face before she grinned. “That’s amazing! You must be thrilled.”
“It’s a big step forward.”
“You’re incredible, Walker. You really are.” She reached out to hug him before he could stop her.
His hands hovered over her back, wanting nothing more than to pull her close.
“I’m so proud of you.”
Giving in to temptation, he wrapped his arms around her, burying his face in her freshly curled hair. He breathed in her perfume as he let himself enjoy this brief touch.
How the hell does she fit so perfectly in my arms?
He could hold her forever. But before he knew it, she was pulling back.
“I wish I could stay and celebrate with you.”
“Another night,” he said. “There’s champagne when we get the chance.”
“I like your style,” she teased, walking down the last step. “Are you sure you’ll be okay by yourself?”
“It will be a good trial run for me and Hunter,” he replied. It was the first time in a week that he’d be truly alone with his son with no one to call easily at hand. If his kid started sobbing in a way only Clara seemed to be able to sooth, he’d be in trouble. His plan was to keep Hunter as happy as possible while she was away.
“Okay, then I’ll head out.”
“Yeah, you should go.”
But neither of them moved.
“Walker…” Her voice trailed off. He waited to see if she’d try again.
Rolling back her shoulders as if preparing for a duel, she met his gaze dead on.
“I know we have a million things to think about and this shouldn’t top anyone’s list, but I have to know one thing before I go out with Todd.”
“Know what?”
She exhaled slowly. “Did that kiss mean anything to you?”
His breath shuddered to a stop in his lungs. Trust Clara to go straight for the kill.
This is my opportunity. My chance to tell her what I really want.
Then she’d stay. He knew she would. She’d cancel on Todd and stay with him because of where it might lead. They would pop open the champagne in the kitchen, and the alcohol would take the edge off. When he leaned in to kiss her, she would meet him halfway. He’d have her in his arms the way she always should have been.
And she’d think they had a future. One that could be serious and permanent when he wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to offer that.
I’d be asking her for everything and giving nothing back.
He couldn’t be the partner she’d always dreamed of. Not when he knew firsthand what lay down the path of love and commitment.
Meanwhile, the right man for her might be moving on to the next woman all because he’d been selfish enough to try to hold on to her when he knew he didn’t have any right.
It all came down to his choices again. Did he do the right thing or did he try to keep her for himself?
Really, there was only one option. Clara was the one thing in this world he could never hurt. He’d protect her to his last breath.
Even from himself.
“It was the stress,” he forced himself to say. “I’m sorry I crossed a line.”
The light in her eyes died. “Stress.”
“I’m exhausted. Hunter is taking up all my energy. I just…slipped.” He laced his hands behind his back to keep from touching her. “Do you forgive me?”
Her silence was damning.
“I promise—” The words died on his tongue as his body fought against saying the vow he never wanted to give. “I promise it won’t happen again. I’ll never touch you like that without your permission.”
I’ll be your friend. Your goddamned brother. I’ll be whatever you need me to be so long as I don’t lose you.
Her gaze slid from him. “What a relief,” she said, lifting her chin. “I’m glad we sorted that out.”
“Me too,” he said through numb lips. She’d never know what it cost him to lie to her. To put her first. Their kiss would haunt him the rest of his days. And he would regret his promise just as long.
Not giving him another moment of her time, she neatly stepped around him and walked into the kitchen. He stood by silently as she checked on Hunter, tenderly kissing her fingertips before brushing them over the baby’s brow. His heart twisted at the sight. He’d made the right decision. As long as he could keep Clara in his life, she’d be in Hunter’s. His son would have the best role model in the world looking out for him if he ever couldn’t.
With a last glance at the baby, she turned and walked straight to the door without bothering to say goodbye.
The click of the lock behind her might as well have been a death knell.
…
Stress.
He’d kissed her because he was exhausted and stressed out of his mind. It hadn’t been jealously. Hadn’t been dormant feelings
awakening. She’d just been the closest woman present when exhaustion had made him snap.
Clara punched the elevator call button with more force than was necessary. Here she was, spinning her hopes around what turned out to be nothing more than a simple mistake. He didn’t feel the way she did. He didn’t want her the way she wanted him.
It might have been stress that made him do what he did, but to her it had meant so much more.
I’m a fool to have thought it was the start of anything.
No matter how long she waited, Walker would never be the man she needed. It was time to pull up her big-girl pants and move on.
Stepping into the elevator she concentrated on what mattered. She had a date with a charming man, and he deserved her undivided attention. Much more than her ridiculous roommate did.
She kept that thought front and center on her journey to the restaurant. They’d have a fun evening out and she’d forget about the man she left behind. It’d been far too long since she made time for dating. This would be good for her. Maybe she was only fixating on Walker because of their current situation. Maybe it was just stress for her, too.
That’s the answer. Nothing more than that.
When she walked into the Italian restaurant and saw Todd already seated at a table near the door, she forced a smile to her lips.
“Clara,” he said, rising to his feet as she approached.
“Hi, Todd,” she replied, kissing his cheek in greeting. “It’s great to see you again.”
He smiled easily, giving him an almost boyish charm. The dark suit he wore fit him well, though at the back of her mind she couldn’t help comparing him to another man she’d seen suited up recently. But when Walker reached for a tie, it was usually because there was a problem at his company that required his personal attention. And when that happened, heads tended to roll. Walker in a suit was always a bad sign, even if he cut through the crowd like a shark through water. The easy-going tech guru vanished beneath the expensive trappings of a powerful CEO not to be trifled with.
His intensity was a far cry from the open, welcoming smile on Todd’s face.
“You look lovely,” he said as she took her seat.
“Thanks. I’m glad we’re doing this.”
“I almost couldn’t believe my ears when Diane told me you’d agreed to come out tonight.” He flashed her another smile. “I was hoping you’d accept, even though my schedule made things difficult.”
Just wait till you hear about the new changes in my schedule.
“Thanks for the invitation,” she said.
“Any time.”
His smile was back and she couldn’t help thinking it was just a touch bright. Walker tossed her those little half smiles that were little more than a quirk of his lips, and it made her heart beat just a little bit faster.
“Diane tells me you’re in the financial sector,” she said.
“Yeah. I always had a knack for numbers. Seemed like the logical path to follow.”
“Absolutely.”
“Everyone in my family is either an accountant or a banker. It was expected that I go into the industry, too.”
“Did you ever want to do anything else?”
He shrugged. “Not really.”
Walker never followed the expected path. Hell, he’d blazed his own trail for most of the time she’d known him. But it wasn’t fair to compare a brilliant entrepreneur to Todd. He liked his lot in life. There was no shame in being…
Normal.
Normal is good for me. Normal won’t screw with my head or keep me awake at night replaying a meaningless kiss.
“I’ve read some of your pieces,” he said. “You must also like what you do to write so vividly.”
“I do,” she agreed. “And Diane is a great boss. I was lucky to end up at the paper.”
“She speaks very highly of you.”
“How did the two of you become friends?”
Todd launched into the story of how he’d first come to meet Diane, and she tried her hardest to pay attention. She was out with a gorgeous guy, at a well-rated restaurant that smelled amazing, and she planned to enjoy the evening.
Even if she couldn’t quite manage to banish the specter of Walker from her mind.
Chapter Eleven
“I’m an idiot. Yes, I am,” he said to Hunter.
The baby just gurgled in response.
With a sigh, Walker paced around the first floor, bouncing his son in his arms. “Doing the right thing is about as satisfying as I always suspected it would be. Doing the wrong thing feels so much better.”
Better, like pushing Clara up against a wall. Or bending her over the kitchen island. Or best yet, tossing her onto his wide king bed. Despite his best efforts, it’s not like he could deny giving her the starring role in a fantasy or two. He could almost see her there, staring up at him with eyes darkened in lust, an inviting smile teasing her lips. He’d crawl over to her, rising above her as she stretched out beneath him. Her fingers would tunnel through his hair as she arched up to bring their lips together…
“Idiot,” he said again. He’d sent his best friend off with someone else, and there was nothing he could do about it.
“It’s for her own good.”
But that truth was poor consolation. He didn’t want to be the gentleman who watched from the sidelines. Being the rogue was so much more…satisfying.
She’s not for me. Clara wants a happily ever after and deserves to get it. What could I offer other than a topsy-turvy life where babies end up on my doorstep?
But logic was a cold bedfellow.
Especially when it kept him from the one person he truly wanted.
The home phone started to ring, and he crossed the room to grab the receiver.
“Hello.”
“Hey, Walker. This is Diane. Is Clara there?”
Setting Hunter down in the playpen, he shook his head. “She’s out on her date.”
Diane blew out a sigh. “Oh good. She wasn’t answering her cell, and I was afraid she was holed up over there avoiding Todd.”
If only.
“No, she headed out around seven. Maybe the date’s just going too well for her to check her phone.” The words burned like acid on his tongue.
“I hope so. She deserves a little happiness.”
“Yes,” he admitted, dropping onto the sofa. “Yes, she does.”
There was a beat of silence before Diane asked, “How about you? You’re doing okay with Hunter?”
“We’re fine,” he replied. “He’s been on his best behavior tonight.”
“Good, good.”
Silence stretched again. “I guess it must not be an easy adjustment. Good thing you have Clara to rely on.”
“Yes,” he agreed. “I don’t know what I’d do without her.”
“Have…have you told her that lately?”
“What?”
He heard rustling through the phone, as if Diane was shifting uncomfortably.
“I’m sure she’d like to hear it. I know she sometimes feels like you guys aren’t on equal footing. I’m sure it would make her feel great to hear what a help she’s been to you.”
“Not on equal footing?” he demanded.
“Well, you know the two of you are an odd pairing. That’s all I meant.”
“What?”
“Come on. The billionaire and the reporter? You’re from very different worlds for starters. Who keeps their university friends these days? It’s wonderful you two have been able to stay so close.”
“Clara feels this way?” Did she feel out of place in his world?
“I just…I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything. I didn’t think I was mentioning anything you two didn’t already know.”
“I had no idea.” But maybe he should have. Perhaps they were already drifting apart without him even noticing.
“Damn. Any chance you avoid telling her this grand revelation came from me?”
A wry smile twisted his lips. “
I’ll keep it to myself. But just so you know, Clara’s the most important person in my life. I’ve never viewed her as lesser in all the years we’ve known each other.”
Diane stayed silent another minute. “Maybe you should mention that to her, too,” she said at last, her voice soft.
He sighed. “I can’t,” he replied. “I don’t have the right.”
“I shouldn’t be having this conversation.”
He ran a hand down his face. “I understand. I’ll tell her you called.”
But Diane didn’t hang up. Staring up at the ceiling, he waited.
“You know what I’ve always wondered?” she said at last.
“What?”
“Ten years together. Ten years where you have been each other’s closest confidants. How did you manage to survive that long with her without ever once considering asking her out?”
The air rushed from his lungs. “Another thing Clara’s been wondering?” he asked.
“I don’t speak for her,” she said, dashing his hopes. “This is all me, Mr. Moneybanks.”
“What good would come of asking, Diane? I’m not the right man for her.”
“Then you’ve considered it?”
“I’m not an idiot.”
“Could have fooled me.”
“Great to talk to you. We’ll have to go it again in another few years.”
“Sorry. Look, I’m rooting for Todd here, but I’d regret not pointing out a very important factor you seem to be overlooking.”
“And what’s that?”
“She’s a big girl. Maybe you should give her the choice rather than deciding everything for her. That’s not the action of someone who views her as an equal.”
Electricity streaked through his nerves.
“What?” he said, sitting up.
“Clara isn’t some delicate flower. Think of some of those exposés she’s covered. If she were weak, she’d never have landed half the interviews she has. Let her decide what risks she wants to take herself.”
His fingers tightened on the phone. “And you think I’d be a risk she’d like to take?”
“That’s a question for her. You just don’t strike me as the type to hang back when there’s something you really want. If that’s what you’ve been doing because you think you’re protecting her, you should really rethink your motives.”
A Baby for the Billionaire Page 9