Tracie Peterson - [New Mexico Sunset 04]

by Come Away, My Love

  Joelle did just that, smiling as she closed his door quietly behind her. He was more and more like the John she had fallen in love with. Soon, she thought to herself, soon she would have him back and he would walk again.

  

  March, 1916 roared in like a lion and continued to roar. The temperature rose, becoming quite uncomfortable in the afternoon. Used to the chillier mountain valley winters of Bandelero, Lillie and Joelle found their clothing heavy and cumbersome. Deeming that the heat would be much easier to bear in appropriate clothing, the women took Dan’s suggestion and went shopping.

  “Get something serviceable,” Lillie suggested. “Something easy to wash out by hand and light enough to dry quickly.”

  “In this dry heat,” Joelle said, mopping her damp brow, “everything dries quickly.”

  Lillie smiled. “It certainly isn’t home. I miss the snow and our cold mornings. Dan calls it ‘cuddle weather’ and I think it’s about my favorite time of year.”

  “You and Dr. Dan sure seem happy with each other,” Joelle said with a sigh. “I just wish John could see that I love him and accept the fact that I want to be with him no matter what his physical condition is.”

  Lillie paused in her consideration of a ready-made skirt. “John knows you love him, Joelle. It’s just hard for him to think of disappointing you. His love for you runs deep, and he takes everything very seriously. Marriage is no exception.”

  “I know,” Joelle said and there were tears in her eyes. “It’s just that I’m afraid he’s going to put up a permanent barrier between us. I’m afraid. . .” Her voice cracked and Lillie put an arm around her.

  “Don’t be. God will help John to make it through this. Have patience and faith.” Joelle wiped at her eyes and nodded. Lillie smiled. “Now, what do you think about this green skirt?”

  

  Rumors of the war in Europe flooded the pages of the local newspaper and even in the local theater propaganda ran rampant. The Beasts in Gray was advertised for viewing at two bits a person, no children allowed. Women were discouraged from attending the picture with the ghastly posters outside the theater depicting the Huns in spiked helmets tearing at the puritanical white robes of Belgian women. Joelle shuddered at the thought of what those poor European women must be enduring, but she said nothing to anyone about it. Somehow, with it left unsaid, it seemed less real and more easily dealt with.

  The saggy iron bed, with its groaning springs and lumpy mattress, became less and less appealing to Joelle, as night after night passed. Lillie, too, grew tired of the poor substitute. At home, she had a fine, down-filled mattress that was as soft and comfortable as any bed had ever been. This, combined with the growing heat, was beginning to wear thin on her nerves and caused Daniel to begin seeking a way, once again, to move John from Columbus.

  By the eighth of March, the Monroes and Joelle had shared their cramped quarters for nearly one month. John had made remarkable improvements. He now had feeling in his legs and, although he was unable to walk, he endured hours of exercises devised by his father.

  John and Joelle still had their occasional fight, but John admittedly came to realize just how much she had done for him. It was still hard for him to accept the fact that she had seen him at his worst, but even this humiliation was passing from John’s concern. Now, uppermost in his mind, was to strengthen the tender threads that bound his heart to hers.

  “I have tickets for us to leave on the twentieth,” Dan shared that night after supper. “I even managed to secure a private car, thanks to Garrett Lucas.”

  Lillie smiled. “Had one sitting in the backyard, did he?”

  Dan laughed. “Just about. You know how Garrett is. He’s always managed to get his hands on just about whatever he needs. Anyway, he’s making the arrangements to have the car put on and brought down for the trip home. This way, I can keep John in bed for most of the trip. I think he’ll manage quite well with it.”

  “Well I for one, will not miss this heat and sand,” Joelle said. “May I go tell John the news?”

  “Sure,” Dan said, sharing a smile with his wife. “Go on and tell him.”

  Joelle knocked lightly at the open door to John’s room. No doubt he had already heard the exchange, but Joelle decided they needed to discuss the future.

  “Hello,” Joelle said, trying her best to gauge what kind of mood John was in.

  “Hello.” His voice was warm, almost mellow, and Joelle felt her heart skip a beat as John’s eyes appraised her appearance.

  “Did you hear your father’s news? We’re going home on the twentieth.”

  “Yes,” John said softly, “I heard.”

  “I thought it might be good for us to discuss what happens when we return to Bandelero.”

  “What do you mean?” John questioned.

  “Well,” Joelle said slowly, “I thought it might be good for us to go ahead and get married.” She held her breath for a moment, wondering if John would launch into a tirade. When he remained silent, she continued. “I mean, it just makes sense. I plan to be a part of your recovery. I certainly don’t intend to go back to the ranch with my brother and Daughtry. I don’t want to ever be that far away from you again.” She felt as though she was rambling, but the fear of letting John speak something negative kept her talking.

  “I’d be happy to live with your folks for however long it takes to get you up on your feet.”

  Here, John interrupted. “That might never happen. I told you once before, Joelle, I may never walk again.”

  Joelle nodded. “I know, but it doesn’t matter to me. I still love you, John, in spite of everything we’ve gone through of late. I don’t mind the fights we’ve had or the harsh words, but I don’t want to be cast aside like old, worn-out boots.”

  John laughed out loud at this. “You’re the best looking worn boots I’ve ever seen.” Joelle blushed but cast John a shy smile. John sobered at the look. “You really are beautiful. Too beautiful to spend your life being a nursemaid to an invalid. I can’t make you honor a promise you made when there was so much more hope to our future.”

  Joelle shook her head. “I have no future without you. Don’t you understand? You’re everything to me. Whether you walk or talk or run in circles. It doesn’t matter.”

  “I can’t expect you to understand, Joelle. You’re a woman.”

  “And just what is that supposed to mean?”

  “If I can’t walk, I can’t very well put bread on the table, now can I?” His voice held a bit of sarcasm and Joelle felt angry that he had taken such a tone with her.

  “What’s wrong with me getting a job? I could take in sewing or maybe open a shop. There are all kinds of possibilities. I know my father would advance me the money to start a business, if I asked him to.”

  John shook his head furiously. “No! I won’t support a wife on the charity of others. My folks caring for me is bad enough. I certainly won’t ask them to support a wife, as well.”

  “I didn’t ask you to,” Joelle snapped. “I’ve already told you that I’d be happy to support us. I just want there to be an ‘us,’ don’t you understand?” she questioned, emphasizing the word “you.”

  “It wouldn’t be right, Joelle. You and I both know what’s expected of a husband and having you out doing my job wouldn’t be right. Think of what people would say and how it would look.”

  “Since when have you ever cared what people had to say?”

  “I care, Joelle. I care because I know it would hurt you. Besides, you’ve talked a million times of wanting to have a family. A large family, as I recall. You can’t have that with me. At least not now, maybe never.” John shook his head again. “I honestly believe it’s best if you go home to your brother, then go on back to Kansas City. If I do recover and you’re still available, then perhaps—”

 
“Perhaps nothing, John Monroe!” Joelle crossed the room to the door. “I don’t want to hear any more of this. I refuse your solutions.” She stormed out of the room and slammed the door behind her.

  “Joelle!” John called. “Joelle be reasonable!”

  Dan and Lillie exchanged a look as Joelle continued to the room she shared with Lillie, where she again slammed the door behind her.

  

  That evening, as Joelle prepared for bed, she found herself thinking of John and what he had said. She did not want to admit that his words had any basis in truth, but in the quiet of her room, the evidence of that seemed blatantly obvious.

  How much longer would it be before he could walk? His spine seemed to have fared better than anyone could possibly have hoped, and even Dan seemed confident that John’s recovery was just a matter of time. But what if it wasn’t? What if it was as John had said. . .that something might never happen?

  Doffing her cotton day dress, Joelle slipped into her nightgown and slowly braided her hair. The heat, which was so unbearable during the day, was quickly replaced with the chill of the desert. Once the sun was down, Joelle was quite happy to light a fire in the stove and hover around it while fixing supper. A soldier friend of John’s had even told her that the water often froze in their canteens overnight, but Joelle found it hard to imagine when the heat of day bore down on the small village.

  Outside her still-open window, Joelle could hear the clip-clop of several horses and knew it was the cavalry patrol riding their nightly vigil. It made her feel safe to know they were so carefully watched over, and even though the house was situated on the edge of the town, the army clearly honored their duty to protect all of the citizens of Columbus.

  Extinguishing her lamp, Joelle crawled into bed and drifted off to sleep. She was not aware when Lillie came to bed, but she did wake up when the army doctor sent an orderly to request Dan’s help in surgery. Lillie got Dan’s bag, while he finished dressing, and Joelle fell back to sleep without even hearing Dan leave.

  In her dreams, Joelle heard the rush of water as though a flood were bearing down on their tiny hut. The sound rapidly changed to that of horses’ hooves and, suppressing a scream, Joelle bolted upright in bed.

  The thunderous noise had been no dream. Lillie shot out of the bed with a cry, and Joelle quickly followed her to the door. Without opening it, they huddled against it, listening for several moments.

  “What’s happening? Is it the army?” Joelle questioned breathlessly. She reached out to pull the curtain back from the window when shots rang out. “Is it Villa’s men?” Joelle asked, cowering in fear.

  At the sound of gunfire, Lillie grabbed Joelle’s hand. “It doesn’t sound like they’re friendly, whoever they are.”

  Just then, John’s voice rang out. “Mom! Joelle! Where are you?”

  Lillie pulled Joelle with her to John’s room. By now, the predawn silence was filled with gunfire and Spanish curses. Lillie shuddered when a voice rang out just outside their window.

  “Death to gringo soldiers!” the voice yelled. It was soon joined by another. “Kill them all!”

  Joelle turned to Lillie. “We have to hide John,” she said urgently.

  “I’m not going anywhere,” John answered, coming to the edge of his bed.

  “John, you can’t fight anyone in your condition. Those men are seeking the blood of soldiers, and you are a soldier. Joelle is right,” Lillie said firmly. “We have to hide you.”

  “Just give me a gun,” John protested.

  “We don’t have a gun,” Joelle replied. “The closet, Lillie, we can get him into the closet.”

  Lillie nodded. “I’ll get his right arm, you get his left. John, you keep your feet under you and help us as much as you can.”

  John shook his head but found his mother very determined. “I’m not a coward. I can’t let you face them alone. If they were to come in here—”

  Gunshots sounded loudly and Joelle cringed. The army Hotchkiss machine guns fired off a rapid reply, but it did little to ease the worry of either woman.

  Joelle and Lillie were already moving John toward the closet when the sound of someone trying to push in the front door caught their attention. There was another shout of curses and orders in Spanish that only John understood in full.

  “They’re going to knock the door in,” he said flatly.

  “Hurry, Lillie,” Joelle whispered and nearly pulled John’s arm out of its socket. “You get in there with John, and I’ll go hold them off.”

  “Don’t do this,” John said, looking down at Joelle. “Stay here with me. You can’t fight them, Joelle. You don’t know what these animals are capable of.”

  “They’re capable of killing you,” Joelle said quite frankly. “Anything else, anything at all, is preferable to that.”

  She shoved John into the closet, feeling a twinge of guilt when he lost his balance and slipped to the floor. Lillie stepped over his legs and crouched down beside him.

  “It’s a tight fit, but it’ll work,” she whispered to Joelle.

  “Good. Don’t come out, no matter what you hear. You have to keep John here, Lillie. Please don’t let him act heroic.” Joelle’s eyes pleaded with Lillie. Each woman understood the anguish of the other. Both were fighting to save the life of the man they loved more dearly than life itself.

  “No, don’t let her go out there,” John was struggling against his mother and trying to ease past her in the darkness.

  Joelle closed the closet door, sealing them inside. Silently, she prayed it would not become their tomb.

  Chapter 7

  You have to stop her,” John said, taking hold of his mother’s shoulders. He could not see anything in the blackness of their hiding place, but he knew she was facing him.

  “John, there’s nothing we can do. If you expose yourself, they’ll kill you. For Joelle’s sake, if not mine, please be quiet. Maybe they’ll leave when they see no one else is here.”

  The noise outside grew louder as shouts of American soldiers rallied hope in the night.

  “Dear God, what have I done?” John moaned and slumped back against the closet wall. “If only I would have—”

  “Hush, John,” Lillie insisted with her hand to his lips. “ ‘If onlys’ are behind us. We can’t change what is. This is the time to give up the past. This is the time to maybe go to God about those things you said.”

  John realized how right she was. “I was so angry when the plane started to fall from the sky. I couldn’t control her well enough. I should have been able to. I blamed God for letting me crash. I said—”

  “John, it doesn’t matter. Take it back to Him and seek His forgiveness,” Lillie said softly. She put her arm around his shoulders and pulled him close. “He already knows how sorry you are. Let it go, John. Let Him forgive you.”

  John knew she was right. It was all he had wanted from the start. Why had he allowed his anger to eat away at him? Why had he allowed his self-pity and frustration to separate him from Joelle? There was so much he wanted to say to her, so much he needed to tell her. Only now, there might not ever be a chance to do so.

  They could hear the pounding and gunfire outside the house. John sought God in prayer, and Lillie did the same. They heard the front door give way, followed by the yipping and howls of several men. Joelle was protesting loudly that she was alone and that the soldiers were already on their way to protect her.

  The voices grew louder, with Joelle’s shouted protests.

  “I should go to her,” Lillie whispered.

  “No,” John said. “It’s bad enough she’s out there, but if you join her, they’ll probably kill you both. I can’t bear it as it is. Please, Mom, stay here with me.”

  Lillie put her free hand over his. She opened her mouth to reply when Joelle’s scre
ams filled the house. John struggled to move to the door, but Lillie held him back, using her body as a block between him and his goal.

  “No! No!” Lillie said as loudly as she dare. “John, stay here.”

  Joelle screamed again and several gunshots rang out. There were shouts and the sound of glass breaking, then after awhile the noise grew strangely silent. Lillie wondered if Joelle had run from the house to escape her attackers, while John prayed as he had never before prayed, for the safety of the only woman he would ever love.

  Time passed in the pounding beats of their own hearts. Lillie had no idea how long they had been in the closet. She had no way of knowing if the sun had yet come up or if it was still dark outside. It felt like the world had come to a standstill, and a nightmarish eternity had somehow begun.

  The gunfire continued, though much more sporadically than before, and the undeniable smell of smoke was heavy on the air.

  “I’d better see what’s going on,” Lillie told John. “If they’ve set enough fires, we might be in danger of burning up.”

  “Let me.”

  Lillie pushed John back again. “You can’t. You may have already injured yourself. Please, John, just stay here. I’ll be right back.”

  Lillie opened the closet door the barest crack and found a faint glow of light giving view to the bedroom. No one seemed to be there and so Lillie eased the door open and crawled out.

  Her muscles ached from the cramped quarters and awkward positioning. She was not a young girl anymore and it grieved her to feel the reminder. Favoring her right leg, which had fallen asleep beneath her, Lillie tried to tiptoe to the bedroom door.

  Putting her ear to the wood, Lillie listened and heard nothing. Do I open it or not? she wondered silently. A sound behind her caused Lillie to start and step back. John appeared in the doorway of the closet.

  “Listen!” he said in a voice just above a whisper. “They’re leaving.”

  “How do you know?” Lillie questioned. She could speak very little Spanish even after all her years in New Mexico.