If Memory Serves

by Vanessa Davis Griggs

  Job 1:18

  Landris, his mother, and Princess Rose went in the house. Preparing to go see Johnnie Mae, Virginia and Princess Rose were upstairs changing. Virginia had bought Princess Rose a sundress identical to the one she was changing into. Landris had just come from carrying his mother’s luggage upstairs to her room, when the phone rang.

  “George, thank goodness I found you,” Thomas said. “I called the church and they said you’d left already. I tried calling your cell phone, but you must have been out of range or something, because it went straight to your voice mail.”

  “Hey, man. Mom tells me you’re not taking your medicine. Is that true?”

  “Aw, man, she told you that? You know how Mom can be.”

  “So are you taking your medicine or not?” Landris untied his baby blue necktie and slid it from around his neck. “You promised you were going to do right.”

  “See, that’s why I’m calling. Mom must have also told someone here I wasn’t taking my medicine. The director said she was going to call you to come talk to me and her,” Thomas said. “You know how they are with their rules. Dotting every i; crossing every t. I told her she didn’t have to call, that you were already planning to come by.”

  “Well, I was getting ready to go to the hospital to see Johnnie Mae right now. Can it wait until tomorrow morning?”

  Thomas sighed. “I suppose it could, but they’re claiming I’m not acting rational. She insists she has to see you today, if it’s at all possible. If you ask me, I’d say they all just need to get a life. George, those pills were starting to do things to me I didn’t like.” He lowered his voice. “And between me, you, and the couch, I believe these folks are really out to get me. I don’t trust anything they give me these days to eat or drink. That’s why I have my own stash here in my room. I think they’re trying to slip me something.”

  Landris looked at his watch as his mother walked into the room with Princess Rose’s hand gently tucked inside of hers. Landris couldn’t help but admire how cute they looked dressed alike. “Thomas, no one’s out to get you. You were doing so well. They were about to sign off on your release. Why would you just stop taking your medicine?”

  “Because I saw a commercial on TV about the drug I happen to be taking, and the lawyers were saying if you’ve taken this medicine that you may have a case against the makers of it. I believe the pharmaceutical companies are just using us as guinea pigs. You remember the Tuskegee experiment, don’t you? Well, I refuse to let these folks continue experimenting on me and messing me up. Fixing one thing but making something else go wrong. Then you need to take another pill just to fix the new problem you didn’t have prior to your being treated for the previous thing. Something’s wrong with that! Can you just please come by and tell this lady you and I talked, and you agree I don’t need to take this medicine anymore? Better yet, why don’t I just check out and come help you out?”

  Landris looked at his mother and stepdaughter and smiled. “Thomas, look. I’ll be by there to see you before we go to the hospital. But I can’t stay long, now.” He was trying to cover, not wanting his mother to suspect anything major was going on. He’d visit Thomas and see for himself how he was really doing, then proceed from there.

  Arriving at the facility, he talked to the director briefly, then went to Thomas’s room. Landris could tell immediately there was a problem. Thomas wasn’t in bad shape, but it was obvious he was spiraling headfirst in that direction. His eyes showed signs of little sleep. He couldn’t manage to be still for more than a few minutes at a time. As soon as they came inside, he had jumped up and poured them a glass of apple cider, even though Landris told him they weren’t staying long and didn’t want anything to drink.

  “Thomas, listen to me,” Landris said. “I know you think you’re fine, but, man, you’re not. You need to start back taking your medicine. All right?”

  Thomas looked at his mother, then Princess Rose. “Hey there, little beauty,” he said to Princess Rose. “Uncle Thomas has something for you.” He walked over to the cabinet and took out a bag of Gummi Bears. Walking back, he held out the bag to her. “I know you love these. It’s okay. You can take it. I bought the whole bag for you.”

  Princess Rose looked at Landris, who nodded it was okay. She reached up slowly and took it. “Thank you,” she whispered, then grinned—her two bottom teeth visibly missing.

  “I know that’s your favorite kind of candy,” Thomas said. He briskly brushed his face as though he were trying to brush crumbs or something from around his mouth. “I bought those just for you. I know you’ve been having a hard time with your mother being in the hospital and all. Uncle Thomas just wants you to know he’s thinking about you.”

  Landris looked at his watch. It was six-thirty. He needed to hurry if he wanted to visit with Johnnie Mae for any real amount of time. Where does time go? he wondered.

  “Thomas, you’re in this facility so you can be on your own while still being monitored and treated medically,” Landris said. “And you were doing great while you were taking your medicine. You were starting to act more like your normal self again.”

  “Man, I’m still cool. See, the way I figure it is the medicine has fixed the problem, so there’s no reason to keep taking it. I believe I’m healed, in the name of Jesus”—he raised his hands in praise—“so I’m acting like I believe. Isn’t that what you preach all the time? That we should act like we believe the Word of God is true?”

  Landris glanced over at his mother, who had a look of pain on her face as she watched her oldest son. “What I preach, when it comes to areas like this, is that God also gave us sense, and He still intends for us to use wisdom. I’m not going to tell you that God can’t completely heal you from your disorder, Thomas. But in your case, until it’s fully manifested, you need to continue taking your medicine.”

  “But see now, even the logic behind that statement is whack. How are we going to ever know that I’m healed if I keep taking the medicine? See, the only way for us to know that I’m healed is for me to stop taking the medication for sight. You get it?”

  “Thomas, stop talking foolishness,” his mother said. “Your brother teaches that healing can, in some cases, be assisted through doctors. The word ‘doctor’ means healer. Your doctor prescribed medication that has helped you tremendously. I told you earlier today it’s not a cure, but it helps you manage your thoughts and actions better.”

  “So are you saying that God can’t heal me from this?” Thomas asked Landris, seemingly ignoring his mother’s statements. He cocked his head to the side. “Are you saying that I shouldn’t stand in faith because it’s not possible for God to be able to do something like this for me? Are you saying my situation is too hard, even for God?”

  “No, Thomas. I’m not saying God can’t heal you,” Landris said.

  “Then what are you saying? That God can heal me, but He really can’t, or should we say won’t, because you don’t think I have enough faith?”

  Landris ran his hand over his face. “It’s not that.” He let out a sigh. “Thomas, please . . . just take your medicine. Okay? Because if you don’t take it, you’re just going to continue deteriorating and end up right back where you started from, if not worse.”

  “See, now that’s not the kind of faith or support I need,” Thomas said. He picked up the untouched glasses of cider and began pouring them back into the bottle. “I’m here believing God for my healing, and you’re here speaking all this negative junk! It’s like you’re a hypocrite or something. You preach one thing, but obviously you don’t really believe it.” He looked at Landris as he screwed the top back on the bottle. “So, do you believe in healing or don’t you?” He stopped what he was doing completely and waited.

  “Yes, Thomas. I believe in healing.”

  “Then why can’t you believe with me for mine?!” His voice cracked as he spoke.

  “Thomas!” Virginia stood up and walked over to him. “Thomas, baby. Look at me.” She reached
up and touched his face with both hands. “Look . . . at . . . me.” He looked at her. “You need to take your medicine,” she said lovingly. “Do you know what a blessing from God it is to even have medication that can help you?” She went over to her purse and took out her bottle of blue pills. “Do you see these? Well, I’ve had to take them every day for a few months now,” she said, shaking the bottle in his face. “And if I hadn’t, I can’t promise you I’d be standing here even now. If I can take my medicine while believing God for my total healing, then what is the problem with you doing the same?”

  “Mom, it’s different in your case.”

  She frowned. “How so? What if I was going around spouting off the same thing you’re doing? I could decide against taking my medicine, but my not taking it means my heart might stop. What would you be telling me? What would you be saying to me?”

  Thomas shook his head. “Mom, I’m telling you your situation is different. You don’t need to be playing with your life that way.”

  Virginia touched his hand. “And you don’t need to be playing with your life this way, either. Do you know how bad you can get if you don’t take your medicine? Do you? We’ve seen it, Thomas. And believe me, it’s not a pretty sight. You’re putting your life in danger. Your judgment is off. You don’t see it, but we do. Can you just trust me and your brother along with the people here? Trust that we see what you don’t? Baby, you can’t see right now that you’re really not doing as well as you think without your medicine.”

  Landris stood. “Thomas, please. I have a lot happening now. I don’t want you back in bad shape, because then I’ll have to be worried about you, too.”

  “Where is your medicine?” Virginia asked.

  Thomas let his head drop in defeat. “All right. All right. I’ll take it.”

  “Then go get it right now and take it while I’m here,” Virginia said. “I want to see you take it. And I want to see the medicine bottle for myself so I can be certain it’s really your pill and not just an aspirin or something.” She crossed her arms and waited.

  Thomas got his medicine and gave it to his mother, who examined it then shook a pill into his hand. He took it, opening his mouth wide to show her it was indeed gone.

  Landris’s cell phone began to ring. He looked at the caller ID. “Pastor Landris.”

  “Pastor Landris, this is Dr. Baker. We need you to get to the hospital right away. Right away. I’m here already. We’ll talk as soon as you get here. Just please hurry.”

  Chapter 28

  And the Lord said unto Satan, Behold, all that he hath is in thy power; only upon himself put not forth thine hand. So Satan went forth from the presence of the Lord.

  Job 1:12

  Princess Rose and Landris’s mother went with him to the hospital. As soon as Landris arrived, he stopped by the nurses’ station and had Dr. Baker paged. She came quickly and led him off to another area to speak privately.

  Virginia and Princess Rose went in the waiting room and sat down. Virginia could see the sadness on Princess Rose’s face. She called her over to her and let her climb up on her lap. “I imagine it’s been hard having your mommy away, huh?” Virginia said as she looked at Princess Rose and smiled.

  Princess Rose nodded, then relaxed into Virginia’s loving embrace.

  “Well, I’m here. And you know we all love you, right? All of us.”

  “Yes,” Princess Rose said as she blinked several times. “But I miss my grandma, too. I’m talking about my mommy’s mama.”

  “Oh, so you haven’t seen your grandma lately?”

  “I saw her a little before Mommy went in the hospital. But I haven’t seen her since then. Am I still going to get to see Mommy today like Daddy Landris said I would?”

  Virginia hugged her. “Honestly, honey, I’m not sure right now. But I think so.” She looked away then ran her hand slowly over Princess Rose’s hair. “Oh, look,” she said, pointing to the now-open door. “There’s Daddy Landris.”

  Princess Rose jumped down and ran into Landris’s open arms. He picked her up and swung her gently while hugging her tight. Virginia stood up as he came closer to her. She didn’t say anything but tried to gauge his facial and body expressions to get some insight into what might be happening. His uptight demeanor told her things must be pretty intense.

  “Sweetheart, I’m sure you’re hungry. How about you and Nana go down to the cafeteria, and you can get whatever you want to eat.” He set her back down on the floor.

  “Hamburger and French fries?” Princess Rose asked with a grin.

  “Whatever you want,” Landris said, grinning back.

  “Are you coming too?” Princess Rose asked Landris as she twisted back and forth.

  “No. I need to see about Mommy and the new baby.”

  “Is the new baby here already?” Princess Rose asked as she smiled and began to jump up and down.

  “Not yet.” Landris looked at his mother, his eyes pleading for a little assistance.

  “Come on, Princess Rose,” Virginia said, reaching down and taking her hand. “Let’s go see what they have in the cafeteria. I’ll even break down and have dessert with you. Your choice.”

  They walked out of the waiting room together. Virginia and Princess Rose headed for the elevator—Princess Rose skipping the whole way. Landris watched them get on the elevator, then started toward Johnnie Mae’s room.

  He knocked on the door, then stuck his head inside. Johnnie Mae was sitting up, the television was off, and she was twiddling her thumbs.

  “Hey,” he said as he walked in. He leaned down and kissed her softly on her lips.

  “You’ve spoken with Dr. Baker?” Johnnie Mae asked as she stared at him.

  “Yeah. She called and told me I needed to hurry. J. M., listen,” he said, calling her by the name, years ago, she once had insisted everyone call her. Now, he used it only during very special times.

  She turned her head away. “I don’t want to hear it, Landris.”

  “Johnnie Mae, you have to let them take the baby now.”

  She looked at him. “It’s too early. Just a few days longer and at least I would be seven months then. A few more days, and the baby’s chances of survival will increase drastically.”

  “Johnnie Mae, you don’t have a few more days. According to Dr. Baker, you really don’t have a few more hours. Dr. Baker insists she has to take the baby now.”

  Johnnie Mae reached out for Landris. He held her close. “Landris, please don’t do this. Please. Let’s just pray. Okay? Right now . . . me and you. We just need to pray, that’s all. The prayers of the righteous availeth much.” She began to cry. “Please, Landris. We can’t do this now.”

  He held her even tighter. “Johnnie Mae, I have been praying. Constantly, I’ve been praying. We’ve all been praying. And I believe God has answered us. The baby has a great chance of being all right at this stage. Dr. Baker is an outstanding physician. The neonatal unit will be there ready and waiting. These days, premature babies grow up perfectly fine without any lasting effects or problems. It’s almost becoming routine.”

  Johnnie Mae pulled away from him. “But Landris, I feel like I’m going to be all right. Honest, I do. In my heart . . . down in my spirit, I feel it. We don’t have to put the baby through this. Why won’t you trust me on this? I’m going to be fine.” Her eyes were pleading with him. “Give our baby a little longer. Help give our baby a fighting chance.”

  He smiled at her. “Baby, I trust you, but I’m not willing to take this chance with your life in the balance. Dr. Baker is going to perform a C-section on you. She’s getting things prepared as we speak.”

  “You told her it was okay to do it?” She had a frown on her face now.

  “Yes.”

  “Why, Landris? Why? Why would you do that before you came and talked with me about it first? I told her I didn’t want to do that. This is still my body. I should be the one who ultimately gets to decide.”

  He tried to take her hand; she quick
ly moved it away. “I can’t believe you told her she could do it. I told you what I wanted when I first came here. I told you from the start. You could have at least come in and talked to me about it before you told her it was okay.” She reached over and quickly took his hand in hers. “Go find her and tell her you’ve changed your mind. Tell her you and I talked . . . that we prayed about it and that we’ve decided we’re going to totally trust God with this.”

  He kissed her. “Johnnie Mae, I trust God more than anyone will ever know. And I trust that God is going to bring both you and our baby through this. Johnnie Mae, I know Dr. Baker told you everything. That even taking the baby now, we still have a fight for your life on our hands. You’d better believe I’m praying right this second like you’ll never know. I don’t need you mad with me or upset with me about this decision. I’m not the enemy.”

  He released a long sigh. “I’m here for you, Johnnie Mae. And I don’t ever want you to doubt my love for you. You’re going to have the C-section. Then you, me, Princess Rose, and this new baby are going to go on and live our lives to the fullest. When this is all said and done, we’re going to have a testimony like nobody’s business and be able to tell people just how God brought us through.”

  She held onto his hand even tighter now. “Where is Princess Rose?”

  “With my mother.”

  “Virginia’s here?” she asked with a lift in her voice. “Did you know she was coming?”

  “No. She surprised me. We were on our way here to see you when Thomas called, so we stopped by to see him.” Landris didn’t want her to know that there was a problem with Thomas, so he left that part out. “Thomas gave Princess Rose a bag of Gummi Bears. While we were at his place, Dr. Baker called and said I needed to get here in a hurry. Mom and Princess Rose went to the cafeteria so you and I could talk alone.”

  Johnnie Mae began to smile nervously. “I’m really not being fair, am I?”