If Memory Serves

by Vanessa Davis Griggs

  Polly couldn’t help but notice how content Sarah seemed lately. “Now,” she said, but first, clearing her throat, “what were we talking about before we were interrupted?” She was making a big show of how she couldn’t recall, when she could. “That’s right!” She daintily clapped her hands. “You were about to tell me whether or not you ever found out what happened to the items that were missing. It’s my understanding there was some kind of a special box, possibly with important items inside, and a necklace.”

  “You keep bringing that up,” Sarah said. “And you keep saying you heard it from someone here at my house. I’d like to know who you heard it from.” Sarah stopped and looked at Polly.

  “Now, I told you, Sarah, I don’t want to get anyone in any trouble.”

  “I can assure you, no one here is going to get in trouble,” Sarah said, slightly smiling. “So tell me. Where did you hear that those items were missing?” Sarah stopped smiling, her look now somber. “I want to know when, where, and how. And Polly, I want to know now.” She sat calmly, sipped some more of her green tea, and waited.

  Chapter 42

  Then Job arose, and rent his mantle, and shaved his head, and fell down upon the ground, and worshiped.

  Job 1:20

  Landris walked out of the conference room after speaking with Dr. Baker. Johnnie Mae’s vitals were not good at all. Dr. Baker wanted to prepare Landris for the worst. She believed, at this point, it was going to take a miracle for Johnnie Mae to pull through. She told Landris he needed to go home and possibly get some things in order, just in case. When Landris refused to accept her report, she told him to at least go home and get some rest so he’d be refreshed for whatever was to come.

  “I insist, Pastor Landris,” Dr. Baker said. “You need to get some rest. There’s nothing your being here all hours of the day and night can do right now. Go home, get some rest, and come back later. I’ve given strict instructions that should your wife as much as twitch, the attending nurse is to call both you and me. You’ll have time to get here if she wakes up.”

  “When she wakes up,” Landris said, correcting her.

  Dr. Baker looked at him. “Pastor Landris, you know I believe in God. I know God can heal—I’ve seen it happen. I’ve also seen people who believed in God with all their hearts, only to find out God’s answer was no. Things don’t always work out the way we pray and believe it will. It’s a part of the circle of life, and the reason there are counselors and support groups for family members to talk to before and afterward. I can call someone who’s been through this before to come speak with you, if you like.”

  “Dr. Baker, my Bible tells me that God’s answers are ‘yes’ and ‘amen.’ My Bible explains that faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. The Word of God is all the counsel and speaking to that I need right now,” Landris said. “Listen, I appreciate what you’re trying to do here. But I’m not going to allow the devil to sow even one seed of doubt into my mind or find a way to manage to sneak a word of doubt into my confession. The devil is defeated. He has no power. Jesus stripped him when He conquered death, hell, and the grave, declaring He had all power. Jesus gave that power to those who confess Him. The Bible states that life and death are in the power of the tongue. Therefore, I’ll only say what the Word of God says. I’ll only speak life.”

  “Pastor Landris, you know I respect you and your ministry,” Dr. Baker said. “But I am a doctor who promised I’d always be up front with my patients and with their families. I’m only telling you the facts about what’s happening as I see and have them before me right now.”

  “And I respect that,” Landris said. “But thanks be to God that the facts are not always the truth. The facts may be, from a medical standpoint, my wife is not doing well. But the truth is, by Jesus’ stripes, my wife is healed. I don’t know how God is going to do what He’s going to do, but as long as I have breath in me, I’m going to believe and speak the Word of the Lord. I thank God, who always causes us to triumph.”

  “I’ve told you, from a faith standpoint, I’m right there with you,” Dr. Baker said. “But medically speaking, I have to say it doesn’t look good. It doesn’t look good at all. This will definitely be an uphill battle we’re fighting.”

  Landris looked at her. He could see in her eyes, the windows to her soul, she really was pulling for them. “I tell you what, Dr. Baker. I’m going to go home. And I’m going to get before the Lord. I’m going to remind Him of His Word, just like God instructs us to do. Not because He’s forgotten, but because He needs to know that I know what His Word says. That I know when I speak His Word, His Word won’t return unto Him void. That I understand His Word will accomplish that which He has sent it to accomplish.”

  Dr. Baker nodded. “Pastor Landris, I pray you’re right. But if things don’t turn out the way you believe, we both know that God is still on the throne. We also recognize that, on this earth, it really does rain on the just and the unjust.”

  “I’ll continue praying for you, Dr. Baker. All I can tell you is, stand and see the salvation of the Lord. I don’t know why my family is going through this. But I know, in the end, this will be used for God’s glory. Satan may have meant it for bad, but God is going to use it for good. God will be glorified, regardless of what happens. Now, if it’s all right with you, I’d like to go in and see my wife,” Landris said.

  Dr. Baker took him in to see Johnnie Mae. He prayed for her, laying his hands on her as he prayed fervently. “The prayers of the righteous, avails much,” he said softly as he walked out of her room. “The prayers of the righteous, avails much.”

  Landris then went to see his son. Early on, the staff had told him that parents of babies in NICU were permitted to visit their children at any time, and that a nurse would be with them always. When he arrived at NICU, his baby’s doctor was there and wanted to speak privately with him. He informed Landris that his son had suffered a minor setback. They were doing what they could for him. He just wasn’t sure whether or not the baby was strong enough to fight his way through this last bout of respiratory complications.

  “Of course, had he stayed in his mother’s womb even a few days longer, his chances of survival would be much higher,” the doctor said. “Right now, we’re still looking at a sixty-percent probability that he’ll make it. The mortality rate of premature babies has improved much over the past twenty years. It’s amazing really,” the graying doctor, who looked to be in his early fifties, said. “Modern technology and new medical techniques, the things we now know that weren’t known in past years, all of these things are contributing to higher survival rates for preemies,” the doctor said. “Just know we’re doing everything we can. I’m just not sure whether or not all we can do will be enough to pull your son through. I’m not saying this to be heartless or cruel, but I do like parents of our premature babies to be armed with the facts throughout the process.”

  The day his son was born, Landris was told that even if his baby did make it, it was possible he might have lasting complications into adulthood. When they’d finished their report to Landris on that first day, Landris had merely responded to them by saying, “Do what you have to do and what you can do, but just know, I speak life over my child, in the name of Jesus, I speak life. And not just life, but life more abundantly. God can and is able to do what you can’t. This I do know.”

  All the doctors associated with his baby’s care had tried, both in the beginning and unsuccessfully, to get Landris to see things from a more realistic standpoint. He was told it was great to have faith, but he also needed to deal with reality.

  “I hear what you’re saying,” Landris had said to the doctor that day. “And no disrespect to you, but I’m going to stand on God’s Word. What you’re saying to me about my son is not God’s best for him. God desires us to have His best, and I declare and decree the Word of the Lord right now over my son. He’s healed and he’s whole. He will live and not die.”

  “We unde
rstand how you feel, Mr. Landris,” the baby’s attending pediatrician had said. “But we live in a real world, with real issues. At some point, you’re going to have to face what is and not how you wish things to be.”

  “I beg to differ, Doctor. But at some point, every knee will bow, and every tongue will confess, that Jesus is Lord. Right now, I’m confessing He is Lord over premature complications. He’s Lord over premature death. And I mean that to apply to my wife, whom you have nothing to do with, and my son, who has been placed, at least for a season, in your and this hospital staff’s care. Still, my God holds you and the people here, including my son, in His hands. I won’t speak anything that doesn’t line up with God’s Word. I refuse to destroy my son’s chances with my mouth.”

  Now, here Landris was, once again, being given one negative report after another; first, from his wife’s doctor, then his baby’s. He left the hospital and went home. Princess Rose, who was playing a card-matching game with Landris’s mother, ran and greeted him as soon as he walked in the den. “I miss you!” Princess Rose said, hugging him tight.

  Landris spent time with them, then went upstairs. Closing the bathroom door, he kneeled down in front of the vanity and began to pray like he’d never prayed before.

  “I’m not going to ask You why we’re going through this, Lord,” Landris said. “I’m not. I have to trust You. I don’t care what those doctors say. I trust You no matter what problems continue to rear their ugly heads. I pray for all who have been trying to come against us. Forgive them, Lord. I pray for the misguided souls who think they’re doing right, when clearly they’re marching down the wrong path. Lord, my wife and child are fighting for their lives right now. I don’t know anything else to say other than what You’ve instructed me, in Your Word, to say. I don’t know any other way, except Your way. Lord, I’ve done what You told us we should do during situations like these. I’m leaning completely on You. Please, Jesus, I need You now more than ever. I can’t do anything without You. I need You.... We need You. Please, hear my cry. These things I pray in Jesus’ name, Amen.”

  Landris stood up. He started unbuttoning his shirt. Frustrated, coupled with exhaustion, he ended up ripping off two buttons when he couldn’t get the buttons through the tight buttonholes. He took the shirt off, then placed a towel around his neck and shoulders. Searching for scissors usually kept inside one of the drawers in the bathroom, he found them and stood squarely in front of the vanity mirror. Lifting one strand of dreadlocks, he took the scissors and cut it. He then cut another, and another, until he’d cut off all of his dreadlocks. Landris then walked out of the bathroom to his closet, took a black shirt off the hanger, and put it on. He went downstairs, got into his car without even telling his mother he was gone, and drove off.

  “Whoa, man, what happened to you?” his barber, who’d helped him maintain his dreadlocks since he moved back to Birmingham, asked when he walked through the door.

  “Reggie,” Landris said calmly as he sat in the chair, “shave it off.”

  Reggie jerked back. “Say what? Look, man, I heard about what’s going on with your wife and son. I’m sorry. I know you’re under a lot of pressure. I don’t think you may be thinking clearly. Maybe you should go home and get a little rest,” Reggie said.

  “I’m fine, Reggie. Now, please . . . shave it off,” Landris said.

  Chapter 43

  Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow.

  For what is your life? It is even a vapor, that

  appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away.

  James 4:14

  “What did you do?” Virginia asked her son when Landris walked back in the house. “George, honey, come and sit down.”

  “Mom, I’m okay,” Landris said.

  His mother stared at his head as she walked toward him. “I don’t think that you are. I think you really need to go upstairs and lie down.”

  “I told you, I’m okay.”

  Virginia spoke slowly. “No, George . . . I don’t think you are okay. Do you realize you’ve shaved your head? All of your hair is gone, George. You’re . . . bald.”

  Landris smiled as he rubbed his shaven head, then laughed out loud. “Yeah. Gone. I know.”

  “So do you want to tell me what made you do that?” Virginia asked, as though she didn’t want to talk too fast or too loudly for fear that that might be the thing to send him completely over the edge.

  “You know, it’s not because I thought my dreads were wrong or against God in any way. There are plenty who have been trying to get me to cut my dreadlocks because they thought it was wrong, or they disagreed with them being on a preacher more than anything.” He opened the refrigerator door and grabbed a bottle of water. “But I was praying earlier about everything that’s been happening these days.”

  “I know. I know. It’s been hard on everybody,” Virginia said, paying close attention to his face to see whether or not she could detect what was really going on with him. “That’s what I mean. This is a lot for anyone to handle. Even the strongest person would find something like this difficult to bear.”

  “Mom, listen to me. I’m fine. I’ve prayed about what’s going on. Now I’m standing on God’s Word and His promises. That’s all I can do. I didn’t shave my head to move God or to make a point or a statement. I didn’t shave my head because I felt like I was in sin or in error and that doing this would make things right with God so He could move on my behalf. That’s not how God operates. God doesn’t look at the outward appearance of man. He looks at our hearts. I shaved my head because I felt the need to take off some dead weight. My hair felt as though it was carrying around in it so much stuff. It’s hard to explain, but as soon as I started cutting my dreads off, all of a sudden I started feeling lighter. With each lock I cut, it was as though the things of the past were being cut away as well.” Landris ran his hand over his clean-shaven head again.

  “Reggie, my barber, cleaned it up for me. So today I start anew,” Landris said. “Whatever happened yesterday is gone. Just like my hair—it’s gone, all gone.”

  Virginia began to nod. “I think I understand what you’re saying. But you still need to get some rest. When Johnnie Mae wakes up, as soon as she looks at you, she’s going to think you’re the one who needs to be hospitalized. And when the two of you bring that newborn home, believe me, you’re going to wish you’d gotten all the sleep you could have.”

  Landris laughed then kissed his mother on the cheek. “Thanks, Mom. Has anyone told you lately that you’re the best?”

  “Not in the past”—she looked at her watch—“twenty-four hours. Oh, and before I forget”—she walked over to the counter and tore a sheet of paper out of a pad—“you got three messages while you were out trying to be like Mike.”

  “Like Mike?”

  “Yeah. Michael Jordan. You know, the baldhead thing you’ve got going there? Which, by the way, let me be the first to tell you, isn’t for everyone. Take it from a mother who cares, you need to let at least some of your hair grow back, and I mean quick.” Virginia handed him the paper with the three messages on it as she rubbed his head.

  Landris looked at the names and numbers. One was from Minister Maxwell, one of the preachers who was taking over things for Landris while he was out of pocket caring for his family; one was from Mrs. Knight; and the last one was from Reverend Walker. Out of all the names listed, Landris was most surprised to see Reverend Walker’s. He’d never really talked with him before. In fact, the closest he’d gotten to the man was when Thomas was about to marry Faith, and he and Johnnie Mae had sat outside in the church’s parking lot, waiting for his mother to return.

  “Did Reverend Walker say anything?” Landris asked with a quizzical look.

  “Just that it was urgent he speak to you today.” Virginia slid an oblong glass dish into the oven, then wiped her hands with a paper towel. “I’m making Princess Rose macaroni and cheese. She said that’s what she wanted for supper tonight. That poor child
is missing her mother like crazy.” Virginia threw the paper towel in the trashcan. “But if you ask me, that Reverend Walker person needs some lessons in manners. Maybe he thought I was your maid or something. But even if that were the case, he needs to learn how to talk to people and not talk down to them. I guess I shouldn’t expect any more out of him. At Thomas’s wedding, he was planning to keep going forward with the wedding ceremony even though I was stretched out on a church bench.” She giggled.

  Gathering grapes, Bartlett pears, plums, strawberries, and a handful of blueberries out of the refrigerator into a colander, she walked over to the sink. Running water over them, Virginia transferred the fruit to a bowl. “I’m going down to the game room to play with Princess Rose. But between you and me, the child is driving me crazy with that song, ‘Unwritten.’ I mean, I like it and all, but she wants to play it over and over again.”

  Landris laughed as she left. He went and got the cordless phone, then sat down in the den next to the kitchen. Landris decided to call Minister Maxwell first. Minister Maxwell just wanted to check in with him and be sure there wasn’t anything he needed from either him or anyone at the church. He brought him up to speed on matters he felt Landris needed to know, without burdening him with the things he didn’t. Landris then called Mrs. Knight back. The person who answered said she was gone and wouldn’t be back until sometime after seven.

  Looking at the third message, Landris dialed the number. He couldn’t even begin to fathom what Reverend Walker might possibly want with him.

  Landris waited for someone to pick up.

  “Hello,” a deep male voice said.

  “This is Pastor Landris calling for Reverend Walker.”

  “Pastor Landris, thank you for returning my call so quickly. How is your family? Your wife and your new son, specifically?” he asked.