Charlie the Great White Horse and the Journey to Egypt
Page 5
Squint-Eye Pete was making good time out of the northern most mountains, through the icy tundra fields, back through the Boreal Forest, out of Russia and Canada, heading now straight south towards Saint Louis, and the Saint Louis jail. About three more weeks and he would be, back home into his moms loving arms. Oh how nice it would to be home with dear sweet Ole' mom, Squint-Eye kept thinking as he rode along across the snow covered road, on the back of his fearsome stead...Black Thunder.
Santa's Chest of Secrets was still intact, perfectly hidden in one of his saddlebags, hanging off one side of his horse. He had not opened it yet, but he knew that whatever secrets it held inside, are exactly what Big Sal needed to send her vile plans for all the children in the world into motion.
Evil was on the move in the form of a dark horse and rider heading south.
"Is that-a roasted pig ready yet...?"
"Almost ready Big Sal..."
"How about?those briskets of beef..."
"Coming real soon Sal...coming real soon"
"What's-a taken so long? I'm hungry over here!" shouted out Big Sal from the mess hall, where she had found wellbeing sitting across three sturdy wooden chairs.
"Not ready yet Sal. Will that pot of stew hold ya, till that roasted pig is ready?"
"I don't know Black Jack, but I guess they-a?are a gonna haft-ta. I?told ya, to have those ready by five PM and they ain't yet. Dinner is served at five! And I'm-a telling ya for the last time...have dinner ready when it's supposed to. If it didn't take me so long to git in my wheelbarrow, I would roll in there and-a knock you, about the ears."
All Black Jack, Rags, and Cool Joe could do was, get busy cooking.
"Man she eats a lot Joe, and boy is she fat."
"Shut up Rags. If she hears us she's gonna kill us."
"And don't forgit it Joe, if she asks us again make sure ya tell her how cute her figure is, and how she looks like she's losing weight. I don't wanna get slapped again in the back of the head by one of those ham-hocks of hers, that she calls her hands."
"Ham-hocks!" blurted out Black Jack while laughing and stirring a large pot of boiling chickens, at the same time.
"Yeah ham-hocks" said Rags as he started to peel another vat of potatoes,
"you're real funny there Black Jack".
A few weeks passed as Sal lounged about the prison stuffing her fat face the best she could, eating her life away, and reading books about famous crooks and their gangs. She had never been so happy.
A loud knock was heard at the prison's main gates on day.
"Sal ya...in...there? It's your loving son Squint-Eye!"
Sleaze-Ball Tom and Big-Belly Bill flung the large metal front doors open.
"Ah?you two knuckle-heads sons of mine...git away from those doors. What the heck, happened up there in the North Pole last year? I told ya both to keep Santa's Village under control, keep that wrapping-machine up and running, and to make sure that those bad presents kept being made. That wasn't too much to ask now, was it?"
"No dad. We we're?a doin just like you said, then that little red-haired kid showed up. He was yelling out somethin about being Louis the Red or Louis the White, then this big bear scared the snitzle outta us, and then all heck broke loose. I don't know?it was?er?all so complicatin," said Sleazy as he tried to give his dad a hug.
"No hugs...ya imbecile, why-ya trying to hug me, you birdbrain? I ain't happy to see ya. I will be happy to see you two bowling balls after we get, this wooden box I stole from Santa for Big Sal, into her hands, and we see what's in it. Now git me to Sal and right quick."
"I'm up here in the dining room son!" yelled out Sal upon hearing all the commotion at the front gates.
"Ma is you up there?"
"Where else would I be? Now get up here. You better have gotten that box, like I told ya ta...git."
"Yeah I got it ma!" shouted out Pete as the metal prison gates closed with a loud clank behind him.
He quickly alighted up the three flights of steps (at the front of the prison) and into the main dining hall. Black Jack, Rags Martin, and Cool Joe Biggs hearing the hubbub, turned over the cooking of dinner to some of the other inmates of the prison. Heading straight for the dining room they ran squarely into Squint, as he was coming through the front mess hall doors.
"Squint you old son-of-a gun, nice to see ya again!" said Black Jack as he too tried to give Pete a hug.
"Have you gone as daft as those blubbering, stupid sons of mine? I ain't happy to see ya. You blew that horse napping down there in Centerville, and then you blew our operations up there in the North Pole. That's the last time I put you in charge when I ain't around."
"Well Pete there was this scrawny, little kid and this big horse, ya see."
"That's all I hear about, and read about is that kid, and that stupid horse of his. I have just about had it with that little boy. Now get outta my way."
"Nice to see you Pete" said Cool Joe Biggs coyly.
"Yeah...yeah! Nice teeth Joe."
"Nice to see you again, and welcome back home" said Rags as he blew his nose into his dirty handkerchief.
"Y-eah, y-eah?y-eah?now git the heck outta my way you two nimrods. I ain't in no good mood. Now where's my ma?"
If you could only have seen the look in Pete's eyes, he found his mom, comfortably, seated in the back corner of the dining room, with a bunch of dirty dishes, and chicken bones strewn about the floor at her feet. It was the look of a lonesome son seeing his mom for the first time, in a long time. It was like a baby sow longing for a tit of her mother pig, lying in a bed of mud.
It was magical to behold.
"Ma!"
"Son!"
"I missed you so ma. Did you get enough to eat while I was gone? You look at little thin."
"Well, it was hard with the kitchen being run buy those three idiot friends of yours, but they did the best they could have" understood Sal as she tossed another perfectly skinned chicken carcass onto a nearby bone-pile.
Pete walked up to Big Sal with such love in his eyes. He kicked away a few dirty plates away from her feet so he could get closer to her, and with a hug so big, it almost broke your heart to see, Squint-Eye Pete wrapped his long, bony arms around his enormous mother.
She just about fell off the chairs she was perched across, but at the last moment she grabbed her wheelbarrow, to steady herself. She in turn gave Pete a long hug with her flabby arms. She slowly leaned forward, and gave Pete a soft kiss on the face making sure, to not get to much chicken grease on his leather eye patch.
"It's been close to five months ma since I've seen ya but I did as ya said, and went to Centerville to get that magic jingle bell.
"Well did ya git it son and that other stuff I sent you ta git?"
"Nah, they caught on to me that I was in town. I ran into some little stammering kid, and I just could not help myself mom. I let my crazy eyeball that pop gave me, out for some fresh air, and to keep it working right, so I just had to show it to that little kid, and then my cover was blown, fer good.
"Well what happened, next Pete?"
"Ya see...well...I had ta git out of town. So...I went way up the trail a-ways, and waited for those kids to go to the North Pole...like ya said they would. I followed em and followed em, and waited for a chance to jump em. You see Sal they had that magic bell...just like, you said they would. Well I jumped em good in a saloon in this little town."
"Well...what happened next?"
"Then in busted that stupid horse we was once trying to horse-nap...Jupiter was his name. Anyway, they all got away. I didn't get that darned bell after all. I...then follered em, to this big boat on the Great Lake, and they got away one more time. They just kept seeming to git help from somebody; everywhere'd?they'd go.
"Git to the-a point already, will ya?"
"You did good kid. What'd about the secrets and spells that Santa has? Was there a secret box, chest or old scrolls...or...anything?"
"Why yes ma. Just look at this old wooden box I grabbed from Santa's bedroom" said Pete as he threw the enchanting looking wood box onto the dining table in front of her, which sent a few plates of greasy food flying off in all directions.
"Why son I'm...so proud of ya. You are just so mean and evil. I raised a good kid, didn't I?" asked Big Sal as she leaned forward, giving Pete another big hug, and wet slimy kiss on the cheek.
"We will figure out what's in the box later, and then look at that magic bell and compass. Right now, it's almost five o'clock and...ah...dinner is just about ready to be served, so pull up ah chair and git yourself a fork."
"Sal, I've been gaining too much weight lately, so I am just not eating that much now, but I will sure keep ya company while you eat, you see I've got some important future plans, so I gotta be real thin."
Where's my dinner!" screamed out Big Sal to Blackjack who was standing at the other side of room listening to everything that Pete was saying.
"Coming sir! I mean Big Sal. Right away, you're?ah...er?majesty. I mean your honor."
"Stop wasting time you idiot Black Jack, git me my vitals!" screamed out Sal again as she threw a large empty dinner plate across the room at Black Jack.
Rags, Cool Joe, and Black Jack disappeared into the kitchen to start the dinner service. Dinner went off without a hitch, except for running out of roasted pig.
Squint-Eye Pete ate a very thin dinner to be polite, then headed towards his old jail cell at the very center of the prison, down the hall from his moms cell. Upon entering his old home, he looked up over the doorjamb above the cell door, which read:
Here lives Squint-Eye Pete...
The meanest and most evil person alive
Enter at your own risk