To Forgive & Hold Safe (The Broken Men Chronicles Book 4)

by Decevito, Carey

  Dad grinned but Mom appeared confused.

  “You said she was in a coma,” she said.

  I smiled broadly. “She woke up a few days ago.”

  As I set the table, I told them about everything that had transpired since I’d last stopped by. Like it always was, my parents remained silent as they listened to everything I had to say.

  The more I spoke, the more I questioned myself on why the hell I had pushed them away to begin with. I hadn’t seen one single look of pity from them as I explained what it was that I had read in Candace’s journals. If anything, I saw anger, frustration and complete devastation – especially from my mother – at the reality that the only thing close enough to a daughter she had come to know had been nothing more than a farce. The look of betrayal on my parents’ faces from the truth reinforced that I was right in feeling what I had been feeling.

  Throughout the week, I was grieving less for Candace and more for the losses Hannah was suffering through.

  Don’t get me wrong, I was still dealing with my losses, but I no longer felt as lost as I have for the last three years. As it was, three years was a long time to wallow over the loss of someone you never truly had. I basically found myself moving forward without even trying.

  “Seems like that girl’s helped you more than you thought possible,” Mom said when I finished rambling. “And it looks like you’ve been helping her through her own things too.”

  “Just be careful,” Dad interjected.

  I turned to look at him. “Why?”

  “Because you’ve had three years to process things and move on, and it’s still fresh for her.”

  “I know.” And then I added, “We’re just friends.”

  “But you’re falling for her.” Dad looked at me with that all-knowing gaze of his. “I know you, son.”

  “I agree with your father,” Mom said. “Regardless of what you decide, take your time, Ben, and listen to your heart. You deserve to be happy.”

  A soft laugh escaped me. “That’s what her mom told me.”

  “Smart woman.” Mom winked.

  “You’d like Anne and Adam,” I said. “They remind me so much of you two.”

  Mom and Dad shared an odd look I couldn’t quite place, but as quick as it appeared, it was gone.

  “And what of Hannah?” Mom asked.

  “Seeing as you enjoy putting me back in my place, I think you’d love her.” I grinned. “She’s challenging, sweet, and funny. I haven’t laughed as much in the last three years as I have in the last couple of days.”

  “I think we’ll have to meet this Hannah.” Dad shared another one of those mysterious looks with Mom. “I don’t care if she stays a friend or not. I owe that girl for bringing me my son back.”

  Mom only nodded.

  Chapter 22

  It was late when I left my childhood home, Hannah never straying very far from my thoughts. I wondered if her parents had kept her company since I couldn’t be there with her like I normally was. I found that I missed our late night chats, seeing as tonight had been the first where I hadn’t visited since her accident.

  As I drove home, the urge to see Hannah was still potent, but the time on the clock told me that she’d be sleeping. I’d check in on her in the morning.

  Arriving at the hospital around lunchtime, imagine my shock when I got to Hannah’s room and the sheets were being ripped off of her bed. Her flowers and gifts from friends and family were nowhere to be seen either.

  “Where is she?” I asked.

  “Who, sir?” the cleaner asked.

  “The patient that was in this room.”

  “Gone.”

  Gone?

  “Gone where?”

  The cleaner shrugged her shoulders, then pulled a piece of folded paper from her scrub’s pocket and handed it to me. “This was left behind. I was going to leave it at the nurse’s station. Are you Ben?”

  I breathed a sigh of relief, nodded and took the paper. “Thank you.”

  The woman nodded and I walked out of the room to sit in one of the hallway chairs.

  I looked down at the page, reading my name in fancy cursive. Unfolding the paper, I took in the words.

  Dear Ben,

  By now, you’ve noticed that I’m not there. The doctor came by this morning and told me that I was able to go home. I’m excited, but I’m scared. I’m inching toward normalcy again, and I’m not sure how I’ll deal when I get home.

  I’m staying at Mom’s and Dad’s for a few days until they’re happy with how I can handle myself physically. I think they’re still worried that something will happen and I’ll snap.

  I wanted to say thank you for all that you’ve done and I hope to see you again.

  I finally heard back from Lee’s parents. They’ve taken it upon themselves to handle the funeral arrangements without me. There’s a back-story there, which I’m sure, when I see you next (if I do), you’ll get a full rendition.

  If this is it and I don’t see you again, I’ll forever consider you a friend. Ben, what you’ve shared with me, what you’ve helped me through, makes you matter more to me than some I have spent an entire lifetime getting to know. I only hope that I’ve been as much a source of comfort to you as you have been to me.

  Look me up when you’re ready for that baking session. It’s the least I can do when I already owe you my life for everything you’ve done.

  Love,

  Hannah

  And there it was, in plain black and white – her phone number.

  I stopped myself from dialing her up right then and there.

  Hannah was home. She had a life to get back to. She needed to settle in and I didn’t know where I fit in.

  She’ll call you if she needs you.

  As I made to leave the hospital, my phone rang.

  Recognizing the number, I smiled into the receiver. “Buddy, how was Italy?”

  “What’s this about trying to break down my sister’s door?” Mike barked.

  Oh shit! It had completely slipped from my mind to reassure Danica that I was fine. I sighed. “Name your place and time and I’ll tell you the whole story.”

  “Mine and right the fuck now, Ben.”

  “Give me twenty. I’m just leaving the hospital.”

  “The hospital? Is everything okay?”

  “I’m fine. I’ll explain when I get there.”

  Chapter 23

  Mike and I have been best friends since our formative years. He was the one person that knew everything about me, other than my parents. Hell, we’d been through it all together: women, sports, business school, marriage, death… you name it.

  So twenty-five minutes later, my knuckles were about to meet the wooden front door to my best friend’s home only to find the newly appointed Mrs. Withers opening it for me. She crossed her arms at her chest and tapped her foot. A grin broke out on my face. She was a perfect match for Mike, and one hell of a person to spar with in a battle of wits. The man would never be bored.

  She smiled, then launched herself to give me a hug. “Get in here!”

  “How was your trip?” I set her down on her feet.

  “Great! But you wouldn’t think my husband enjoyed it after he spoke with his sister. What’s going on?”

  “That’s what I’d like to know,” Mike said and I pulled away to find him leaning on the wall next to his wife with a serious look on his face. “Beer?”

  “Sure.” I ushered Nicole ahead of me, following them toward the kitchen.

  Mike popped the top and set the bottle in front of me before taking a seat beside his wife, their drinks in hand. “So, you managed to freak my little sister out,” he said.

  I gave him a guilty look. “I’m sorry I did. Did she tell you anything?”

  Mike shook his head. “She said I needed to get it all from you. Ben, she was pretty upset, so I know it’s big. You could have called me, you know.”

  “And ruin your honeymoon?”

  “What the hell could r
uin a honeymoon?” Nicole asked.

  A snort escaped me. “How about finding out that your wife had a whole other life?”

  The look on Nicole’s face was one of complete shock, while Mike’s was a mask of blankness.

  “She was having an affair, Mike.” And I moved into story-telling mode.

  By the time I was done, I was on my third beer and Nicole refused to let me leave until I had some food in me.

  “How can you be so calm about this?” Nicole asked. “What did her parents have to say?”

  “I’ve had a little help getting over some of it,” I started. “And I haven’t talked to Candace’s parents since before they dropped off the box. I’ve been to see Mom and Dad, though.”

  “How’d that go?” Nicole asked.

  “Things are better with them. I’m not saying I’m anywhere near over what’s happened, but Hannah-”

  “Wait a minute, who’s Hannah?” Mike asked as he flipped the burgers on the barbecue.

  “You guys know about the accident out by Dead Man’s Way, the night of your wedding, right?” I asked.

  “You could hear the sirens for miles, so yeah,” Mike said. “Wait a minute! You were there?”

  I nodded. “I saw something and stopped to check it out. It was bad. There was a couple…”

  “Are they okay?” Nicole asked. “How does this Hannah fit into things?”

  Once more, I explained Hannah’s story. I felt the rolling emotions of anger about what Lee had done to her with his alcoholism, how she’d wanted me by her side, how her parents helped me understand that I needed my folks, all the way up until why I had been at the hospital when Mike had called.

  The two sat there, baffled, and then Mike’s signature all-knowing grin made its appearance.

  “Wipe that smirk off your face. I know what you’re thinking.”

  “What?” That mock innocence of his didn’t fool me.

  Nicole giggled. “You’ve got a thing for her.”

  She was right.

  “It doesn’t matter. It’s too soon to start anything.” Sighing, I continued. “She needs time. I need time.”

  Nicole let out an unladylike snort. “So what?”

  “So what?” I repeated.

  “Yeah, so what? It seems to me that she was well out the door before the accident.”

  “That doesn’t mean she’s over her idiot husband, Nicole.”

  “It’s not-”

  “She’s bitter about things. Her emotions are all over the place, and I can’t blame her. But-”

  “But?” Nicole urged me.

  “Would you let him speak, woman?” Mike said.

  “But there’s something about the letter she left me at the hospital, that tells me…” I sighed. “I don’t know.” I ran my hands over my face. “See for yourself.” I took the letter out and handed it to Nicole. “I know she loved her husband. I mean, there’s no other reason as to why she’d want a family with him, or why she’d stuck around for as long as she did.”

  “The decision to leave him couldn’t have been easy on her if she was pregnant,” Mike surmised.

  I shook my head. “We’ve talked a lot about everything. I know it wasn’t.”

  “You know that she feels that same connection you do, right?” Nicole waved the page around, her eyes meeting mine. Mike grabbed it from her and began to read it for himself. “It’s not spelled out, but if you read between the lines-”

  Mike cut his wife off. “She definitely wants to see you again.”

  “As friends.” A subtlety of disappointment wormed its way into the pit of my stomach with my words.

  Mike winked at his wife. “Sure.”

  Chapter 24

  I arrived home strangely feeling like I needed sleep. I took advantage of the exhaustion, seeing as although rest had come a bit more easily over the past week, it was still sporadic.

  By the time my head hit the pillows, my cell began to ring on the bedside table.

  I grabbed it, reading unknown number on the display. Something urged me to answer because no one called me that late unless it was from work, which in this case, it wasn’t.

  “Hello?”

  “It’s Hannah.” I felt the smile spread across my face. “Oh God! It’s so late. Did I wake you?”

  I laughed. “You can wake me up any time, Hannah, but I wasn’t sleeping. How was your day?”

  She groaned. “I think I’ll be hurrying to get out. This porcelain doll treatment is a bit much.”

  My tone was soft. “They’re worried about you. They almost lost you, you have to understand that.”

  “I know.”

  Silence hung in the air.

  What had she called for?

  I heard her take a deep breath and exhale.

  “Is everything okay?” I prompted her.

  “I’m fine.”

  I wasn’t convinced. “You don’t sound too sure.”

  “I guess I just need time.” She sighed. “It just feels weird you know?”

  My head began to bob in agreement. “I remember that feeling. Little things like that are bound to creep up for a while yet. Still does with me.”

  “Yeah. Right…”

  I had the feeling that there was more. “Hannah?”

  “Can you come over?”

  And there it was.

  I sat upright, the sheets falling at my waist while I rubbed the back of my neck with my free hand. “You should be sleeping.” I wanted to smack myself in the face for that one. She didn’t answer me with words, only with a sigh. “What’s the address?”

  “No, it’s okay. Never mind.”

  “Hannah, what’s the address?” Sleep could wait. Hannah needed me.

  She provided me with the directions. “Don’t ring the doorbell. Just walk around the side, to the back of the house.”

  Anne and Adam lived a mere fifteen-minute drive from my house in a beautiful two-story home that resembled that of my parents, who lived a few blocks over from the Donners.

  I laughed and shook my head at the irony of it all. So close yet so far. What would have made it all the more hilarious would be if we had gone to the same school. She wasn’t all that much younger than me, of that I was sure.

  I made my way around to the back of the house as she’d instructed me to and found her on the cushioned patio swing with a thick blanket. Her eyes were aimed up at the sky. Pausing to look at her, I smiled. “Wishing on a star?” I asked, which made her jump. “I’m sorry.”

  “No worries. I hear it’s good to get the blood racing every now and again.”

  Without an invitation, I sat beside her on the swing with my hands on my lap. I felt like a nervous teenager who didn’t have a clue about dating or being around a girl. The fact that we were in her parents’ back yard only strengthened the feel of awkwardness.

  She leaned her head onto my shoulder and I felt some of my anxiety dissipate.

  “This may sound absolutely ridiculous, and tell me if it does.” She shifted her head so she looked up at me. “I missed you today.”

  “It’s not ridiculous at all.” I shifted my arm to wrap it around Hannah’s shoulders, while she covered us both with the blanket as we began to swing. I’d missed her too.

  Chapter 25

  A set of warm, soft lips on my forehead woke me. The chirp of birds, the brightness behind my eyelids, and the wonderful weight atop me made me feel as if I was dreaming.

  “Wake up, sleepy head.” A hand rubbed my chest.

  I groaned and was damn well near blinded by the sun, but forgot all about that when I realized where I was and who I was with.

  “Hannah?”

  “I can’t believe we slept out here.” She giggled into my shoulder. “How’s your neck? That couldn’t have been comfortable.”

  I smiled. “I’m fine.”

  “Coffee?”

  “I thought you’d never ask.”

  Last night, Hannah and I had stayed up talking. I had been adamant that she sl
eep, but she refused. The woman ended up cuddling into my side as I spoke about anything and everything in an attempt to lull her to sleep. It worked! So well, in fact, that I had fallen asleep with her in my arms.

  “Good morning, Ben!” A rather chipper Adam walked out onto the patio. “You could have used the couch instead of that swing, you know.”

  I felt the heat rise in my face and my mouth opened to say something. Nothing came out.

  “Relax.” He chuckled. “I’m quite fine with it, really. She evidently sees something in you that’s helping her. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t see it. You two are cut from the same cloth. You’re good for each other.”

  “I…uh…”

  “Here you go-” Hannah’s steps faltered when she noticed her father’s presence. “Daddy, what are you doing up so early?” She looked between her father and me, color suffusing her face as embarrassment took over. She looked guilty, and her overall reaction had me chuckling at the same time, thinking that it was a good look on her.

  “Well, will you look at that!” Adam harrumphed. “She blushes for you, too.”

  Hannah’s colour deepened and began to spread from her cheeks to her face until it had reached her neckline.

  I couldn’t help myself, and teased. “Red is a nice color, isn’t it Adam?”

  “The best, Ben.” He laughed along with me. “You’d think that something was going on with-”

  “No…nothing.” She was quick to say. “We were talking and then we fell asleep.”

  “I have to agree.” I moved toward Hannah. With a wink, I grabbed my cup of coffee from her and took a sip. I moaned my appreciation for the hot brew. “Thank you.”

  Her eyes widened as she nodded her welcome, and then looked at her father as if signaling that he go away.

  “What’s going on out here?” Anne came to join us. “Ben? My, you’re here early. Welcome to our home.”

  “You’re a whole night late,” Adam told her and she gave him an inquiring gaze. “I woke up last night and heard voices. I looked out the window and these two were on the swing.”

  “I guess Adam wasn’t the only one who couldn’t sleep, I gather?” She looked pointedly at her daughter.