To Forgive & Hold Safe (The Broken Men Chronicles Book 4)

by Decevito, Carey

  Our kisses grew from frantic and needful to tender, passion-filled, and relaxing. Hannah’s arms were still around my neck as she massaged the back of my head. My hands rubbed up and down her back, bringing forth those goose-bumps I loved so much.

  And then I felt it.

  After our shopping trip, I hadn’t felt our little guy kick again. This time, it was different. Our stomachs were pressed against each other’s, and I felt it through my own belly. My hands went straight for the sides of her bump, feeling this highly and quite suddenly energized bundle of joy of ours.

  “I think we woke him,” Hannah said.

  “Does that mean you won’t be able to sleep?”

  “It’ll be a bit difficult until he calms down since I’m not used to this, but I love it when he’s active.”

  I shifted us slowly and laid her onto her back. I pulled the covers over us as I slid out of her heat, and lay down beside her.

  “He moves a lot when he hears men’s voices.”

  I grinned and then scurried down the bed, wrapping my hands around her belly. I spent the better part of the next half hour talking to our son. When I finished with a lullaby my mother had come up with for me when I was a baby, I looked up to find Hannah with watery eyes. “Sweetheart, what’s wrong?” I moved back up so I lay on my pillow and cradled her into my side.

  “Nothing,” she said and started to laugh. “I…”

  I tilted her chin up so she could see my face. “Is this one of those times your hormones take over?”

  She giggled through her tears, nodding. “I’m just so happy.” She moved to straddle my waist, then leaned forward onto my chest. “This,” she placed my hand on her belly, “you and me, our baby, the three of us…everything… it’s all I ever wanted, and then some.”

  I smiled. “And then some, huh?”

  She nodded. “I never once asked for mind blowing sex, or a handsome firefighting bartender, or the fact that I could love someone again so much that it hurts.”

  “But it’s all yours, I’m all yours.” I lifted my head to kiss her chastely.

  “And I’m yours.” She shifted, grabbing onto my length and began to rub it against her bud, making it harden instantly. “I want you again, baby, and I want you hard and fast.”

  She dropped herself onto my cock with a loud moan.

  “Then let’s get one thing straight.” My hands braced themselves on her hips, halting her movements. “I’m in control here, and as much as I could get off on your sounds, I think I want you to be quiet until I tell you to let loose, which would be about the same time I tell you to come for me.”

  Hannah’s eyes went wide. “You wouldn’t.” I smacked her ass and flipped us so she lay on her back with my dick still buried balls deep in her slick heat.

  “I would and I am,” I told her, pulling myself back slowly and then plowing into her. She bit down on her bottom lip.

  I continued the slow pull-back and fast slamming for a short while before I could see the tension in her face build, feel the tremors beginning in her core, and the worried look that she would possibly fail at not coming flashing in her eyes.

  I stilled.

  I stopped until I could barely feel her walls spasm at which point I gave short thrusts while I used my thumb on her clit, circling but never truly hitting that spot that would push her over the edge.

  “Baby?” She panted. “I don’t think I can take much more of this.”

  “It’s not your choice, sweetheart.” My stern voice made her clench my length. “It seems like someone really enjoys not being in control.”

  “Only with you.”

  Her words warmed me, but she shouldn’t have been talking regardless. “I hear something more out of you, and I’ll have to figure out some kind of punishment.”

  Her bright green eyes darkened further, and then I saw her smirk. “Fuck. Me.”

  “You pushing me?”

  “You bet your sexy ass I am.”

  I pulled out and flipped her onto her knees so she could use the headboard for stability. I had an inkling that if we kept up this kinky hard fucking habit of ours, we’d be in need of a new headboard every couple of years, if not sooner. The thing was already rattling against the wall.

  I grabbed my steal shaft and ran its tip up and down her slit. Her juices were running down her thighs and I loved it when she got this wet for me. I ran my tip from the front of her slit to the back, and every time I passed the spot where I’d normally thrust into her, she’d arch and try and follow me to get me inside her. I smacked her ass hard twice, and smoothed my hand over the redness that was already appearing.

  I leaned forward, grabbed her hair, and pulled her head back before nipping the side of her chin. At the same time, I ran my cock and nestled myself at her entrance, pushing in slightly to tease her. “Fuck yourself on my dick, baby.”

  There was no hesitation as she did just that.

  My balls were killing me with how much they ached to explode, but I was adamant to keep this going for as long as possible.

  “Stop,” I ordered, and she froze. I allowed my hands to skim her back and my lips kissed her shoulders.

  A single hand of mine made its way between her legs, playing with her nub with a sole purpose; to render her shattered at the hand of one massive explosion.

  “Fuck me,” I said into her ear. She shivered against my chest.

  I feathered my fingers over her hips to help guide her since her legs were quivering so much. I could feel her clenching on me and damn did I ever want to give in. I almost did too.

  “Stop!” She released a throaty growl. “Easy tiger, I’m not done with you yet.”

  Hannah whimpered as I pulled out of her and felt the bucking of her hips when I pulled her knees further away from the headboard so she was leaning forward more, and her ass stuck out.

  My how I loved those cheeks, and even better when they had my hand print on them.

  I stuck two fingers inside of her and felt her clamp down on me.

  “Not yet, sweetheart.” I began to slightly tap my fingers on that sweet spot of hers, observing the look of carnal desperation that made its way onto her face as she tried to peer at me over her shoulder, and enjoying the panting sounds she made.

  I ran my slickened fingers backwards, bringing her juices around to that tiny little puckered hole at her rear. Instead of hesitance, Hannah jutted her ass out in presentation. I’d just about had enough when she did that. I moved my knees behind hers and repositioned my cock at her entrance.

  “Push back, honey.” I thrust up as she powered backward. I was amazed she’d remained silent and even more, impressed that she hadn’t come undone.

  I held onto her hips as I allowed my thumb to inch its way into her ass, massaging that little rosette of hers as it followed her thrusts.

  “Baby, grind on me,” I told her. “I want to be buried as deep as possible.”

  She did just as I said and with every hip rotation, I pushed harder on that forbidden hole until it gave way. She stilled.

  “I-I can’t. If I move, I’ll come.”

  “Did I tell you to speak or stop?”

  She started to say no, but stopped herself.

  “Then come with me, baby,” I told her and pulled back slightly to give her a bit of friction.

  I slowly increased my thrust length and speed and within minutes, we were flying apart.

  The sounds that came out of my woman’s mouth were ethereal. I didn’t know windows could actually shake like that, or that my dick could feel as if it could possibly be bruised from being clenched so damn hard.

  I eased out of Hannah, pulling her back onto my chest as her head lulled back onto my shoulder, her breathing erratic. My fiancée’s eyes were shut, and it seemed like every subtle move, every touch of mine, made her entire body quake.

  Once she was lying down, I hurried to wash my hands and return to her with a moistened washcloth.

  I wiped her down, cleaning our mixed juic
es off the insides of her thighs and chucking the cloth toward the hamper. That’s when her green eyes opened, her lips gracing me with what looked like a drunken smile. Pure satisfaction.

  Damn, but that look on her face simply undid me.

  Chapter 61

  It was the morning after proposing to Hannah that I realized something monumental.

  Gone were the questions, the anger, the resentment, the guilt, the sadness and misery. What I held in my arms was all I ever needed, all I should have had all along.

  “Good morning, baby,” Hannah said, and snuggled closer.

  I kissed her forehead. “Good morning, beautiful. Sleep well?”

  “Mmm…very.”

  After breakfast, Hannah wanted to take a walk.

  We’d pretty much spent our entire morning outside, lazing about in the park, watching cyclists, runners, parents with their kids coming and going.

  Leaning up against a large willow’s trunk with Hannah leaning into my chest, I said, “It’s hard to believe that’ll be you and me in a few months,” and kissed the top of her head.

  “I can’t wait.”

  I was busy taking in more of our surroundings when Hannah’s body stiffened in my arms.

  “Well, well,” I heard an all too familiar voice.

  “Luke,” Hannah said breathlessly.

  “Lost the baby, huh?” His tone was accusatory.

  “Luke-”

  “Hannah, you don’t have to explain yourself,” I said.

  “I think she does.”

  With a growl, Hannah ripped herself out of my arms and got up to her feet. “Enough! Luke, if you’ve stopped by to pester the fuck out of me, then get lost, otherwise say what you need to say and leave us alone. I’ll say this and say it once.” Her hands covered her belly with tenderness. “This isn’t Lee’s baby. I would have been showing at the memorial had I still been pregnant, you idiot. I would have been near fifteen weeks along. Do the math. If this were your brother’s, I would have gone into labor by now.”

  The man looked away, shoved his hands in his pockets and took a deep breath. Then came a nod of understanding, accompanied by a look of embarrassment lacing his features.

  “Why are you still here?” I got to my feet and wrapped myself around Hannah’s back.

  “I saw you two and I vowed to myself, after Lee’s memorial, that if I ever saw you both again, that I owed you guys an apology.”

  “Forgiven,” Hannah snapped. “Now, go.”

  “Can you just wait a damn minute?” Luke said.

  “For what? For your far-from-sincere apologies?” she asked.

  “Just give me five minutes, that’s all I ask.”

  And being the person that she was, Hannah did give him that time.

  Five minutes turned into ten, and then twenty.

  Once I got past the fact that Luke had sided with his parents because of a sense of loyalty and grief, I’d have to say that Lee’s brother was a good man. It was clear that Hannah was seeing the same thing, because in the end, her forgiveness was neither faked nor forced.

  “Just so you know, I never agreed with the way Mom and Dad treated you,” Luke told Hannah and then turned to me. “I wanted to thank you for giving me something to think about that day I walked into your pub. If it weren’t for what you said, I’d probably be as bitter as my mother is right now.”

  I nodded my response.

  “I’d better go,” he said and moved in to give Hannah a kiss on the cheek. She took him by surprise if the look on his face was anything to go by when she hugged him.

  “Take care of yourself, Luke,” she said.

  “You too.” Luke gave her one last squeeze and released her.

  Hannah and I watched as Luke walked away, arms wrapped around each other’s backs, and somehow, I felt like I needed to add to this meeting so he knew that everything was okay with not just his former sister-in-law but with me as well.

  “Hey, Luke.” He turned his head our way. “Stop by for a beer next time you’re around the pub. At least we’ll have happier things to talk about.”

  The man smiled. “Sure thing. Make sure you have a few photos of the new babe. I’ll want to see.”

  And with that, a day that could have clouded over with grief only got brighter.

  Chapter 62

  With four weeks left to go, Hannah was far from happy with her doctor’s most recent orders. Blood pressure too high, fainting spells, early contractions that weren’t Braxton-Hicks, were the bane of our existence. So, in an effort to cheer her up from her newly forced boredom, I urged her to start planning our wedding.

  What I hadn’t expected was that I’d actually enjoy planning it alongside her.

  So, on a Saturday morning, at the table over breakfast, that’s what we were doing before we were interrupted by the doorbell.

  I answered the door only to have my visitor force her way through the threshold. “Where is she?” she growled.

  “You’re not welcome here,” I told the bewildered woman. It was clear that the blow from the loss of her son hadn’t ebbed at all, despite Hannah’s funeral diatribe.

  “What’s going on?” Hannah asked as I knew she was heading our way.

  “Sweetheart, call Luke.”

  “Why?” My fiancée rounded the corner from the kitchen and gasped. “Lois, what are you doing here?”

  “So it’s true. You are pregnant, and by the looks of it, due any day now.”

  Mrs. Parsons made to walk up to a pale looking Hannah and I put a quick stop to the woman’s advance.

  “Lois!” Lee’s father appeared in the doorway, sucking in air as if he’d been running. “Honey, what are you doing in here?”

  “I told you I wanted to see.” She gave him an accusatory glance. “I needed to see for myself.”

  “Now that you have, let’s go.” He tried to make a grab for her elbow, but the woman fought his grip and won. “I’m really sorry about this, Hannah.”

  “Why don’t you guys come in for a bit,” Hannah’s voice was soft, compassion-filled. My head snapped in her direction. She looked at me and nodded to indicate that she’d be okay, but I wasn’t so sure of that. Not with the slight sheen of sweat on her forehead, or the paleness to her skin. “Have them sit in the living room, Ben. I’ll be in with drinks in a minute.”

  I settled the Parsons in the living room and quickly excused myself, finding Hannah with her head in her hands, crying by the sink. Stopping behind her, my hands reached to rub her arms in a soothing motion. “You don’t have to do this, you know,” I whispered. “You’ve already said your piece.”

  “And that’s fine with me,” she began, “but have you seen her? She’s broken, Ben.”

  “She’s also out of control, sweetheart. I’m worried for you and our son.”

  “I know that, but just because the woman wreaked havoc on my life doesn’t mean I get to just walk away from that.”

  “Baby, it does.”

  Her turn to face me was abrupt. “What happened to ‘family sticks together’?”

  “I believe in it, Hannah, but that woman isn’t family. She would have never treated you like she has if she was.”

  “I don’t care!” She brushed my hands away from her, fire consuming her eyes. That look told me that she was determined to see this through, and there was no talking her out of it. “It’s got to stop now.”

  “And how do you think you’re going to stop it?”

  “She’ll just have to listen this time.” She turned toward the hallway entrance and paused. “What was said at the memorial might have been enough for most, but it clearly made things worse for her. It’s time she knew all of the facts, Ben. Maybe then she can put it all to rest and begin to heal.”

  Fuck, but she was right.

  So I followed Hannah to the living room, grabbing the tray of drinks my fiancée had forgotten, and brought it along.

  Lois hadn’t said much the entire two hours they’d been in the house, but Daniel, her
husband, sure had a slew of questions which Hannah or myself answered. I could only help Hannah out with explaining what had transpired after the crash, since the before wasn’t my story to tell.

  The more we spoke, the more vivid the picture became for them.

  Daniel listened with a look of horror on his face for most of it as his wife switched from looking dejected one minute to broken the next.

  As the story reached its climax, Lois broke down in her husband’s arms.

  By the time we finished, Lee’s mother’s tears had calmed and her eyes seemed clearer.

  That’s when Hannah excused herself for a few moments and came back with a small piece of paper I knew she kept in her bedside table, as well as a photo frame.

  “Here.” Hannah handed the slip to the woman who took it with shaking hands. “That’s the only photo of baby Parsons I have, but it’s yours if you want it. And this,” she handed the frame to Daniel, “is baby Carpenter. I’m not lying. I’m moving on. It may not be to your liking, and yes, I’ll admit that it’s quick, but what Ben and I have been through in our lives brought us closer in ways no one could have seen coming.”

  “I get it.” Daniel cleared his throat before adding, “And I’m sorry for everything, Hannah.”

  Lois shocked us by whispering, “It was easier to shift the blame onto you instead of looking in the mirror.” She lifted her head to look at Hannah and I. “You were right about what you said at the memorial.”

  “I shouldn’t have said it,” Hannah said, and my jaw dropped as I took in the sight of Lois’ hand reaching out to Hannah’s, more so, the fact that Hannah accepted that hand.

  “You had every right to say those things. I just hope that you can forgive me.”

  “I can.” Hannah reached for my hand with her free one, squeezing it.

  My guess is that the baby moved because Lois’ eyes grew and narrowed onto her stomach. “Can I?”

  Hannah giggled and nodded. “Of course!” She guided the older woman’s hand to her belly.

  Daniel looked at me and nodded in silent appreciation for allowing his wife to be granted her request. “Gosh that’s wonderful,” the woman whispered, then looked at her husband. “Daniel, come feel this.”