To Forgive & Hold Safe (The Broken Men Chronicles Book 4)

by Decevito, Carey

  “We have specialists that deal with this sort of issue, yes,” he said.

  “Then I want names and numbers. If anything can be done so Hannah can have more kids safely, she gets it.”

  “I’ll see what I can do.” Something in the way he said this made me feel like he disagreed with our entertaining the notion of having more children.

  I ignored that feeling and asked, “Can I see her?”

  “I can only allow one of you to go in, the baby is the exception,” he said before showing me the way.

  The rhythmic beeping of machines surrounded me, filling me with relief with its steady rhythm. I wheeled Julian’s bassinet next to Hannah’s bed where she slept.

  She didn’t look as pale as when they’d wheeled her out, and for that, I was optimistic.

  I took the hand that was free of wires and probes and clutched it in mine, kissing it before leaning over her face.

  “I thought I lost you. Wake up, please wake up, baby. Let me see those bright green eyes. Baby, Julian is waiting to meet his mommy. He looks so much like you, sweetheart.”

  “Baby,” Hannah mumbled as her eyes began to flutter open.

  “That’s right, baby.” I smiled. “Our boy is here.”

  Hannah’s eyes opened wide and the smile that took over her face made me so happy I could cry.

  “I’m so sorry, Ben.” Both her hands came up to cup my face, then pull it down. It was a quick kiss but one that showed me how much love she held for me. “I was such a bitch.”

  “Don’t worry about it. I’m just happy you’re okay and Julian’s fine. He’s right here, sleeping.”

  I picked up our tiny bundle of joy and brought him to his mother. I laid him on her chest, supporting him with one hand, and leaned over to kiss her forehead. “You did good, sweetheart,” I whispered.

  “No, we did great,” she corrected, smiling up at me. “Now give me another kiss. He’s so handsome like his father. I love you so much… the both of you.”

  “We love you too, baby. Please don’t ever leave us. You scared the shit out of me.”

  “I did say I’d never leave you.”

  The events of the day had taken their toll on me and I broke down in tears. I gently wrapped my arms around her and our son and buried my face in her neck, taking in her familiar scent and letting it calm me, along with the one hand she had fanned through my hair, massaging my scalp. She always knew what to do to make things better. Julian sure had one hell of a mother.

  Chapter 67

  When the doctor came in and told Hannah the news about what had happened after the delivery, I would have thought that she’d lose it, what with the near impossibility to carry another baby full-term, but she didn’t. In fact, she sat there, calm and cool as a cucumber.

  After a quick check, the doctor cleared the rest of the family to be able to join us.

  This is where the fun began, and I finally felt myself being able to relax and enjoy the simplicities of life again after the tumultuousness of the day.

  Craig and Marie stopped by and accosted me with a series of questions along with their congratulations.

  Deidra and Blake came as well with MJ in tow. Pictures were taken of the two babies and I had no doubt that growing up together, they’d most likely be either the best of friends or mortal enemies. Deidra was already talking about Julian as if he’d be the handsome boy knocking on their door twenty-some years from now, asking for their daughter’s hand in marriage. Blake responded that his daughter wasn’t marrying until she was at least forty.

  Good luck with that!

  By the time the day ended, Hannah had finally mastered the art of breastfeeding.

  Cuddled low at her side, Hannah ran her hand down my face after I yawned for the umpteenth time. “You should sleep.”

  My eyes strayed from Julian suckling at his mother’s breast to the woman I love. “I’d rather watch this beautiful view I have in front of me.”

  “I’m serious, Ben.” She leaned in to kiss my forehead. “You look like you’ve been awake for a week straight.”

  I held her gaze and was stern. “I’m not leaving you. I almost lost you today. I-”

  “I’m not asking you to leave, baby. Just take a nap. Just like Julian will in a minute. I want my boys to cuddle me.”

  I leaned up and smiled against her lips before saying, “I like the sound of that.” Then I kissed her sweet, long, and slow. When I pulled away, I sighed. “God, I can’t wait to bring you guys home.”

  “Me too.” She wagged her brows. “I guess I get extra time to lose all this weight before the wedding, huh?”

  “You look perfect to me, Hannah. You’ve always been perfect.”

  “Charmer.”

  I yawned again before scooting up the mattress and settling my head beside hers on the pillow. “You know it.”

  Chapter 68

  A few days and a couple of my burgers later, I was finally able to bring my family home.

  Hannah was confined to the bedroom or the couch until her follow-up in a few days’ time, but she was okay simply because she was out of that sterile environment. I couldn’t blame her. It hadn’t been long enough since her last stay.

  The house had been filled with commotion since our arrival with people wanting to meet the new addition. I was looking forward to the day where it would be the three of us and peace and quiet.

  Apparently our parents got the memo because that first evening, the phones stopped ringing, and so did the doorbell. I later found out that Dad had left a note over the door and they had taken off with our phones after turning the ringer off on the house phone.

  Julian had been fussy over the last few hours with what seemed like gas. We had him lying on the flat of his back on our bed as both of us lay on either side of him.

  “Will you sing to him?” Hannah asked. “It used to calm him down when he wouldn’t stop gallivanting inside of me, maybe it’ll work with this.”

  Hannah and I linked fingers above Julian’s head as I began to sing softly to him. By the time I was done, we were all on the verge of sleep.

  “Goodnight, Daddy,” Hannah whispered on a teary smile.

  My thumb captured an escaped droplet from her cheek. “Goodnight, Mommy.” I leaned over to press my lips against hers.

  It hadn’t been the way either of us had envisioned spending our first night home together, but it couldn’t have been more perfect.

  When Julian stirred in the middle of the night for his feeding, I simply woke Hannah up and moved her so she cuddled with her back into my chest as she fed our son and I held both of them.

  The next morning, I woke to my woman’s delectable bottom tucked into my crotch as I listened to her talking to Julian. I smiled and kissed the back of her neck before leaning up and peering over her shoulder.

  “Looks like we woke Daddy.”

  “Not at all, beautiful.” I nuzzled her cheek. “I just don’t want to miss a thing.”

  I heard a knock at the bedroom door and looked at Hannah with a furrowed brow. “Your mom told me she was coming over to fix us breakfast before she left last night,” she explained. “Come in.”

  “I just came to steal the little prince away so you guys can have some alone time,” Mom said. “I think you two can use a bit more sleep. I’ll be back to wake you when breakfast is done.”

  “God love you, Mom.”

  Her eyes shone with pride. “Oh, I know he does if he’s blessed me with you three and your father,” she said and then shut the door. I could hear her cooing to Julian as she moved further away.

  I reached out for Hannah and pulled her into my chest. She draped her leg over mine. I found that I actually missed the belly, but I was thrilled to have her that much closer again.

  “Have I told you yet today how much I love you?” I asked.

  “You haven’t, but then again, you’ve been awake for all of fifteen minutes, and I love you too.”

  “Forever and always, sweetheart.”
/>   Chapter 69

  It’s been a couple of months since Julian was born and my little family couldn’t have been better. Aside from the lack of sleep at night, I’ve never been more in love since laying eyes on my son, nor have I ever felt so complete as when I looked at the woman who birthed him.

  Our wedding plans were finalized and in just under a month, I’d be whisking my woman away on a surprise honeymoon.

  Things hadn’t been quite the same in the bedroom, but I never pushed Hannah for more than what she was willing to give. It seemed that she had some self-image issues, though you wouldn’t be able to tell with the outfits she’d worn on the few post-pregnancy outings we’ve had.

  Julian started to lose weight again about three weeks after getting home, and boy did I have some consoling to do with Hannah regarding her feelings of inadequacy, with not being able to provide enough sustenance for our son. We’ve shared many sleepless nights with me holding her as she cried. I could only imagine how she felt, but I also listed the pros to the situation. No longer was she the only one to feed our son. Formula also sustained him longer, which meant fewer wake-up calls in the middle of the night. In just a few weeks, I could see that Hannah grew to enjoy watching Julian bond with friends and family while being fed. She finally started looking a bit happier and had voiced, just last week, that she enjoyed the time off.

  Tonight was our first date night alone since Julian’s birth. Every other outing had included our friends or our families. Suffice to say, I was looking forward to having a full uninterrupted night with my woman.

  Anne and Adam had already dropped by an hour ago to pick up our son, along with the bag of necessities we had packed. I was sitting on the couch waiting for Hannah to finish up, and if she wasn’t downstairs soon, I was going to march up those stairs and take what I’d been craving for months.

  She’d been dropping hints all week long about wanting to get it on, and based on this morning’s make-out session, I’d say she was open to my taking. If she wasn’t, she sure as hell was sending me the wrong signals.

  When my patience was lost, I went to find her.

  Hannah’s subtle perfume scented the air of our bedroom as I watched her put on a pair of earrings I had bought her on a whim.

  “Just about ready,” she said. “I’m sorry I’m taking so long.”

  “You can take as long as you need if you end up looking this good, baby.”

  Hannah snorted at my comment. She didn’t believe me, and that stung.

  I walked up to her and wrapped my arms around her waist, prompting her to lean back into my chest. I kissed her neck and felt her give way to me. “You look beautiful, sweetheart, and I know you don’t believe me when I say it, but it’s what you are to me. You’re the only woman for me, Hannah, and that’ll never change.” She held my gaze in the mirror. “I love you and only you, and I’ll spend the rest of my life making sure you get to feeling as beautiful, sexy, and desired for as long as you’ll have me.”

  “If you keep this up, we might not make our reservation.” She turned to face me. “I love you too, Ben. Forever and always.”

  “Then enough of this nonsense and let’s get going.” I kissed her quick. “I’ve got a hot woman, and I’m aching to show her off, aside from other things.”

  Hannah pulled my head down to hers and covered my mouth in a hungry kiss. She pressed her body into mine as I held her close. My hands roamed down her back to cup her butt, then squeezed it. I gave it a nice smack and she jumped back. The darkening of those green eyes of hers told me she liked it.

  “Fine. I’ll save it for dessert.”

  I grabbed her neck and pulled her in to give her bottom lip a nibble and eased its sting with a soft lick. She ground her hips into my crotch and I groaned. “Keep this up and we’ll be lucky to make it through dinner. You have no idea what I’m hungry for.”

  Her sultry laugh filled the air and she kissed my cheek before moving past me to sit on the bed and put her shoes on. I hadn’t seen her in strappy heels in far too long. Her legs looked endless in them, and it only made me want to wrap her around me that much more.

  “I think I have a slight inkling.” She winked as she got up to grab her purse. “Coming?” Without a backward glance, those hips of hers swayed from side to side as she started for the door.

  You will be later.

  Chapter 70

  I made a point to remember to thank Paxton and Alissa for recommending Bocconcino. It was a beautiful and intimate Italian restaurant that served some of the best food in town.

  To Paxton’s advisement, I made sure to ask for seating near the back where it would be quiet, and the Maitre’D set us up in a rounded couch-like booth with curtained walls surrounding us and a fireplace across from our table. We could barely spot any of the restaurant’s other patrons.

  “Who’d you buy off to get in here?” Hannah asked.

  “I had a little help from Pax. It turns out he’s a regular, thanks to his editor who’s obsessed with this place, so the moment I mentioned him, they did everything to accommodate us.”

  “I’ve been here once before, but I’m impressed. The food is amazing, but scoring this little section of peace and quiet makes this experience even better.”

  I jumped at the feel of her hand roaming up my leg toward my inner thigh. “Hannah,” I warned.

  “What?” Her leg pressed against mine.

  I couldn’t resist. If the woman wanted to play games, I was going to heat her up just to the boiling point and keep her simmering until we got home. After all, all was fair in love and all that.

  I ran an open palm over the smooth skin of Hannah’s knee, up her thigh and tantalized the skin just under the hem of her dress with my fingertips. “You really do look beautiful tonight.” I leaned in to peck her lips.

  Hannah had just gotten back from the women’s room – the waiter having gone with our order – when I felt something drop onto my lap. I looked down to find a scrap of emerald green lace. My head snapped up and met Hannah’s self-assured grin, a grin I’d missed so much over the last few months. It had disappeared along with our sex life.

  I grabbed the underwear and hurriedly stuffed them in my blazer pocket, fighting the good fight that begged for me to get under our table and feast on her bared bits. Suffice to say, I doubted that the owner, the workers, or the patrons would appreciate my actions if I were caught. But it was tempting. Oh, so tempting.

  Instead, I leaned close to Hannah’s ear and nipped it, my voice coming out husky. “You’re playing a very dirty game, baby. Open those legs for me.”

  Her eyes widened. “Y-you can’t be serious?”

  “As a heart attack. Two can play this game, and if I have it my way, you’ll be coming long before we leave this place.”

  Hannah did as I requested and my dick got harder by her submission. I didn’t think she’d do it.

  I hitched the floor-length table cloth slightly up onto our laps as I glided my palm up her thigh. When I moved my hand closer to the junction between her legs, she clamped them shut.

  “Open,” I ordered, then kissed her neck, feeling her pulse quicken. I slid a finger the length of her slit and pulled my face back to watch hers. “You like this.”

  She nodded. “Maybe a little too much.” Her hand gripped my thigh.

  “Then give in, sweetheart.” I nuzzled her jaw. “Let me take care of you.”

  “Ben, we’re in public.”

  “Then I suggest you keep quiet, because you need this, and I’m not stopping.” She nodded her assent vigorously, as I pressed a finger into her, fusing my mouth to hers in time to capture her light moan. As I pulled away to take in her flushed cheeks, I spoke low, “You’re so wet for me. I can’t wait to taste you. And make no mistake, Hannah, I will be tasting you.” Her whimper was the desired effect.

  When I noticed the waiter come toward us with our dinner, my movements slowed. Hannah tried to clamp her legs shut at his arrival, but my hand was there. My finge
rs rubbed against her sweet spot before my thumb flicked her clit, making her gasp.

  The young waiter eyed her curiously when she jumped and wiggled her butt in her seat to get away from my hand. I leaned forward in case the man grew more suspicious.

  The minute his back turned and he walked away, Hannah grabbed onto my shirt and pulled me to her. She just pressed our foreheads together as my hand moved quickly over her slick pussy in a hurry to see the explosion in her eyes. Her heated breath fanned over my lips and I could tell she was close with the slight spasms that I felt clenching around my two digits.

  As if craving the release, her hips began to ride my hand, while my thumb stroked her clit and my fingers played her g-spot like a fine instrument. “That’s right, baby,” I said. “Ride it out. You’re so hot that I just want to lay you back on this table, and eat you up in front of everyone.”

  She squeaked around the same time I felt her first orgasmic tremor.

  Her arms wrapped around my neck as she buried her face in the crook of it. I chuckled into her hair as I continued to stroke her heat, feeling her thighs twitch as I eased her back down to Earth.

  “Ben…” She pulled away and seemed at a loss for words, so she crashed her lips to mine with what felt like gratitude.

  “You’re welcome, sweetheart.” I gave her a quick peck. “Now, eat. I’d like to get you home sooner rather than later.” I grabbed her hand and put it over my crotch. She squeezed. “Don’t test me, you minx, or you might not like the surprise I have in store for you tonight.”

  “My, my, aren’t we going all out this evening,” she chortled.

  “And you’re a naughty girl.” I attempted at pulling her hand away from my family jewels, but I couldn’t.

  All right, so I could have, but damn if she was taking the remainder of my control away.

  “Let me know if someone comes to the table,” she said.

  Next thing I knew, she was gone. Hannah gripped me behind my knees and yanked my ass to the edge of the seat. Her hands made quick haste of the belt and zip to my slacks and with a gasp, her heated mouth covered my dick with a suction that made it hard for me to keep my eyes open.