by Debra Webb
"Don't expect any more sympathy from me, Longwalker," she warned. "I've gone above and beyond."
"I don't want your sympathy, Lauren. I want Sarah."
Her gaze connected with his, her eyes hard and glittering like jewels. "That's one thing I'll never let you have."
"You won't have a choice."
"What Sarah wants doesn't matter," she countered, her voice breaking. "You have to know she loves me. How can you expect to take her away from me?"
There was no denying that fact. Gray hardened his heart to the reality of it. "To put it in the words of your own attorney, 'We'll discuss visitation when paternity has been established."'
Her lips compressed in a grim line, she spun away from him. Gray watched Lauren stalk across the yard. The emotions he had refused to acknowledge in her presence surfaced with a vengeance. Pain, fear, regret, and other things he wouldn't label, twisted inside him. No matter how hard he tried not to care, he did. He didn't want to hurt Lauren. But how could he not? He would have his daughter, whatever the cost.
* * *
"I DON'T UNDERSTAND, Don, what's going on?" Lauren stood in the middle of her attorney's office, dumb-founded. Buck and his attorney from Dallas stood in front of Don's desk.
"Lauren, please have a seat. I called you here for this urgent meeting because there's been a development in Sarah's case."
Numb with the lingering anger from the quarrel with Gray and the new fear Don's words had sent surging through her, Lauren moved to the closest chair. When she'd stormed back into her house after the fight with Gray, Don's message had been on the machine. She had dropped Sarah off at Rosemary's and hurried to Don's office. Now she was even more confused.
"Sugar, Longwalker has made a move," Buck told her solemnly.
"What? I don't understand." She looked from Buck to Don. What were Buck and his attorney doing here? she wondered again.
"Lauren, I received a call from Victor Thorton this evening." Don pushed his glasses higher up the bridge of his nose. "Longwalker has demanded the first available court date following the release of the test results."
"He's pushing for a speedy ruling," Mason Ewen, Buck's attorney, clarified. "That could be disastrous for you, Ms. Whitmore."
Panic exploded inside Lauren. She trembled with the effort of remaining calm and seated in her chair. Gray was going to take Sarah. Deep down, she hadn't really believed he would do it. But he would. He'd said as much today. And his attorney's actions couldn't be ignored. She had to do something.
"What can we do?" Her fearful gaze searched Don's.
"We have to act fast," he suggested.
"Sugar, I've already told you that I have a great deal of influence with a great many important people. With you as my wife, there's not a judge in Texas who would rule against you."
"You…you want me to marry you," she said.
"Right away?"
"It will make your case a whole lot stronger," Ewen urged.
"He's right, Lauren," Don put in. "I'm relatively certain that you don't stand a chance under present circumstances."
Lauren looked from one man to the other. How could this have happened so fast? She needed time to think. "I'll have to think about this," she began hesitantly.
"There's not time for that, Ms. Whitmore," Ewen countered. "We can't have your upcoming marriage look in any way related to the trial."
Lauren supposed he was right. Her gaze darted to Buck, then to the floor. But could she marry Buck and be happy? Did it matter in light of what she might lose if she didn't?
"I have an agreement prepared." Ewen picked up a document from the edge of Don's desk. "Don has already looked it over. It's a simple contract really. You agree to marry Buck, he agrees to provide complete support to you and your child, with the usual prenuptial clauses, of course."
"This can't be right," Lauren insisted.
"Is it right for Longwalker to waltz in here and take that little girl?" Buck demanded. "I know you don't want to lose that child. If your own attorney is convinced that our marriage would help your case, how can you hesitate?"
How could she? Lauren felt confused.
"I know you don't feel about me the way you need to," Buck urged. "But in time I believe you'll come to."
"You're sure this is the only way?" she asked Don.
"I sincerely believe that it may make all the difference in the world."
I want Sarah. Gray's words echoed inside her. He was going to take her. Lauren had to do something. Didn't she?
"All right." She leveled her gaze on Don's.
"Where do I sign?"
Buck covered her hand with his. "You won't be sorry, sugar."
Lauren met his triumphant gaze. She reminded herself again of his assets. Buck was highly respected in the community, he was more than financially stable, and he had always been kind to her and to Sarah. He professed to love Lauren, but could she ever love him? His hair and eyes reminded her somewhat of Kevin, though Buck's eyes were more gray than blue.
"Right here, Lauren."
Lauren accepted the pen Don offered. She stilled, her hand poised above the signature line as she stared fully into Buck's eyes. More gray than blue. Lauren had met his mother once when she first moved to Thatcher, the bluish quality Buck had inherited from her. But the gray…Buckmaster eyes. Lauren had met Buck's father on several occasions before his recent death. Buck had gotten the piercing gray from his father. That fleeting sense of recognition exploded into complete clarity.
Gray Longwalker's eyes.
"What's wrong, sugar?" Buck asked, his handsome face marred with concern. "You look like you've seen a ghost. Let me show you the engagement ring I bought to seal the deal."
His words reverberated around Lauren, making her feel as if she were in a well or deep tunnel. She felt sick to her stomach and the room seemed to shift, playing havoc with her equilibrium. Gray and Buck were brothers. That was the thing that festered between them. That meant that Buck's father had been the one to ruin Leah's life.
"Lauren, are you all right?" Don was suddenly beside her. "Would you like me to call Dr. Prescott?"
"I'm okay," she murmured. She met Don's worried gaze and manufactured a faint smile. "I just need to get this done and get home. Too much excitement I suppose."
"Sign the paper, sugar, and I'll take real good care of you."
* * *
GRAY STARED AT THE MEAL in front of him with complete disinterest before he shoved it away. He didn't know why he had even bothered to come to the diner this evening, he couldn't eat. The heated words he and Lauren had exchanged twisted inside him, replayed over and over.
But he couldn't go back to her yet. All he could do was think about making love to her. Gray closed his eyes and forced himself to relive once more the gut-wrenching memories of their time together before dawn.
Touching her, tasting her and finally taking her. Gray trembled at the memory of how it felt to be deep inside Lauren, the way her body had gloved him so tightly and responded so completely to his. How could he have ever imagined that making love to her would affect him so deeply? For just a little while during the night, she had given him her complete trust and her body—something she had given no other man.
Gray truly believed that Lauren cared about him to some extent, that she understood him just a little. She had been kind to him, despite the fact that he had dashed her kindness back at her on more than one occasion. I believe you'll do the right thing, she had said. And she had spoken the truth. He had seen it in her eyes, felt it in her touch. She did believe.
But no matter how much she wanted to believe in him, she still doubted him when faced with even the vaguest possibility that he would take Sarah away from her. How could she profess to believe in him and then think for one moment that he would take Sarah out of her life completely?
Fear.
The realization sent the air rushing out of him. Tears stung his eyes. He was worse than Buck. Lower than the dust beneath a snake's be
lly. He had stormed into town and turned Lauren's world upside down. The only thing she had wanted was to keep being Sarah's mother. Lauren loved Sarah, and she didn't want to lose her. And all Gray had been concerned with was claiming the child. Fear of trusting, of giving any small part of his heart had kept him from mentioning an amicable arrangement. The past had blinded him to the future. He hadn't been able to see past his own fears.
Because you're a bitter, selfish fool. Gray cursed himself silently. Lauren had reached out to him as no one else ever had. Maybe she didn't love him, but she had to feel something for him to do all the things she'd done. Gray had just been too busy fighting the past to see it.
Gray had long ago buried his feelings so deep inside himself he had forgotten how to feel. He had spent his entire adult life keeping everyone at arm's length. He had always taken what he wanted from his brief involvements and walked away from the rest. Sarah and Lauren had broken down the barriers he had so carefully constructed over the years. Lauren had forced him to feel again. Forced him to care. Forced him to want her as he had never wanted anyone else.
Maybe he and Lauren could work out some sort of arrangement for sharing Sarah. He did travel a lot, and Sarah needed stability in her life. Sarah's happiness was certainly more important than his grudge against the people in this town. Being separated from Lauren would be hard on Sarah, and deep down Gray didn't want to do anything that would cause her that kind of pain. He could see that now.
Lauren had welcomed him in her home. A big old house filled with the smells of her freshly baked bread, filled with Sarah's musical laughter and filled with the sweetness Lauren had freely given him. Lauren. The kind of woman with whom he had never even dreamed of sharing any part of his life. The thought of spending the rest of his life making love to Lauren tugged at a place deep inside him.
Gray eased out of the booth and stood. What a fool he was. He would make this right. Gray tossed the money on the table for his uneaten food and picked up his hat. He would take the chance. He would tell Lauren just what he had in mind and hope for the best. It was all he could do. He didn't know if the unfamiliar emotions stirring inside him were love, but he would give Lauren whatever he had to give. He strode through the crowded diner toward the door. Every instinct told him he could trust Lauren.
"Well, well, if it ain't just the man I've been looking for."
Gray looked up to find Little Willy Buckmaster blocking the exit. The younger of the Buckmaster brothers was a smaller, somewhat-less-intelligent replica of his older brother. Willy was an annoyance Gray could do without at the moment.
"Get out of my way, Willy." Gray met the younger man's belligerent glare with a fierce warning in his own.
"In due time, Longwalker." Little Willy pushed his hat back on his head and hooked his thumbs in his belt loops. "Just wanted to be sure you heard the news about my brother."
"That he's decided to take up residence in the family plot at Thatcher Cemetery, I hope," Gray dead-panned.
"Oh, I think you'll like this even better," Willy sneered. "He's fixin' to marry Miss Lauren Whitmore." Willy leaned closer and added in a stage whisper, "I guess that'll make Buck the daddy to that little dark-haired girl of yours."
A full ten seconds passed before Gray could speak. Something hot and black settled over him, something far beyond rage…beyond hatred. Something he couldn't name. "Move out of my way," he said, his voice so low, so hard, he barely recognized it as his own.
Complete silence had replaced the din around them. Willy held Gray's deadly gaze a heartbeat longer before he grudgingly stepped aside.
The strained silence followed Gray out the door and into the midday sun. He drew in deep, calming breaths. Willy had to be crazy. He wouldn't allow himself to believe what could only be Willy's idea of a sick joke at Gray's expense. Lauren would never do that. He moved quickly to his truck and slid behind the wheel.
Instinct told Gray that he was a fool. Willy had told the truth, Gray knew it with every fiber of his being. He had misjudged Lauren. Gray should have known better than to believe a future with Lauren was possible. He knew better than to believe in anything or anyone but himself. Hadn't life taught him that lesson especially well?
* * *
WITH ONE FOOT TUCKED under her, Lauren set the old porch swing into motion with the other. She surveyed the yard and the pastures beyond it. This had been home to her for the past three years, and she hated to leave it. Buck would expect her and Sarah to move into the family mansion on the other side of town. Lauren squeezed her eyes shut and forced the unappealing thoughts away.
Instantly the image of Gray Longwalker leaped to mind. The memory of his raven-black hair caressing her skin as he made love to her sent warmth spreading through Lauren's body. His full mouth had worked in perfect harmony with his talented hands. And those eyes—he had worshipped her with those amazing gray eyes. Even his sweet words had been seductive. Lauren shook her head in denial of what she felt. She couldn't permit herself to nurture the love already growing in her heart for him. Lauren would never again be with Gray Longwalker. In a few short days she would be Mrs. Buckmaster. Facing Gray in the future for his visits with Sarah would be more than simply difficult.
She prayed she had done the right thing. Everything had whirled out of control all at once. But the decision had been made and her fate had been sealed with the signing of the contract.
She squeezed her trembling hands into tight fists in her lap. She didn't want to think about what would happen after the wedding day. She couldn't. One step at a time, one day at a time—that's how Lauren would get through this nightmare. There would be no knight in shining armor to rescue her from her plight. But if this wedding helped her to keep Sarah even part-time, it would be worth the sacrifice.
A frown etched its way across her forehead. Why hadn't Gray told her that he and Buck were brothers? The animosity between them made complete sense now. She shivered when she considered the kind of man she had just tied herself to. Why hadn't anyone ever told her about the secrets lurking in the Buckmaster closets? These people just react the way the Buckmasters want them to. Gray's words replayed in her thoughts. How could a whole town stand back and watch one family destroy another?
The sound of a vehicle skidding to a stop in her drive yanked Lauren from her disturbing thoughts.
Gray.
From the murderous look on his face and the rigid set of his shoulders, Lauren surmised that he had heard the news. She gingerly pushed her weary body out of the swing, muscles she didn't even realize she had were tender from the workout Gray had given her in the wee hours before dawn. Lauren's heart fluttered when she considered one especially tender place. When she had ripped the sheets from her bed this morning, the small bloodstains had served as a grim reminder of the consequences of her actions.
Regardless of what took place from this moment on, Lauren had no regrets. They had shared something truly special and she would hold her time with Gray close to her heart for as long as she lived. Those memories would get her through the nights with Buck.
Gray stopped, less than two feet in front of her, and stared down at Lauren, his gaze cold, brutal. His lips were set in a harsh, tight line and his arms hung at his sides, fists clenched. Lauren braced herself for his fury. She deadened herself against the words she knew he would say. She would not feel any of this and she would not react.
When he finally spoke, his voice was hard and unnaturally controlled. "You have one chance here, Lauren. Just one." He paused for her to consider his words, then continued, "Tell me it isn't true."
Lauren squared her shoulders and lifted her chin. "I can't." Her voice was flat and tired, there was nothing left inside her to provide inflection.
He shuddered briefly, visibly, but quickly grabbed back control. "Then I have one question."
Lauren waited, her heart thundering in her chest. She stood absolutely still.
"Why did you not save your precious virginity for your future husband?" The
question was laced with biting contempt.
Lauren swallowed back the words that threatened to tumble from her trembling lips. She wanted to scream, "Because I love you!" She cleared her throat and forced out the lie she had already composed, "I had a momentary lapse in judgment." She shrugged, or she tried to shrug, but her body responded minimally. "Buck hounded me for weeks to give him an answer. I guess I got cold feet and…lost my head." The lie was bitter on her tongue.
A muscle jerked in his tense jaw. "So that's all it was, a momentary lapse?"
"That's right," she said tightly.
Gray looked away. After a gut-twisting moment, his gaze connected with hers once more. "You lied to me."
Tremors shook Lauren's body. She clenched her fists and willed her body to still, but it would not. "Yes," she whispered. Her breath caught, punctuating the single word with a sob. Lauren retreated a step from the rage glittering in his fierce gaze.
"I watched Buck's father destroy my mother by slow, painful degrees. I have no desire to watch Buck do the same to you, but if that's your decision then so be it."
"That's my decision," she said, driving the final nail into her coffin.
"I'll stay out of your way until the hearing, and then I'll leave. And Sarah will go with me."
Lauren shook her head, slowly, adamantly. "I'll never let you take her."
"You won't have a choice. And mark my words," he continued in a low, threatening tone, "as long as you're connected with the Buckmasters, you won't ever see Sarah again."
Chapter Thirteen
"That should do it, Lauren," Dr. Prescott told her with a warm, fatherly smile.
Lauren returned his smile with as much sincerity as she could muster. The past two days had been pure hell. Buck had set their wedding date for one week from today. He had relentlessly pushed Lauren for decisions on each and every detail. Her work had piled up in the process, and Gray Longwalker hovered over Sarah like a brooding shadow. He neither spoke to nor looked at Lauren. The intensity of his resentment and bitterness toward her widened the crack in her heart, but what could she do? Nothing.