Phases of Passions II (Trilogy Bundle) (Werewolf Romance - Paranormal Romance)

by Hart, Melissa F.

  “I hope you will never have to.” Sean leaned across and softly kissed Erin upon the lips. “But now, I really must go. Our time together in the kitchen really stirred up the animal within me and I need to go and release him.” Sean stood up and headed toward the door.

  “Have fun.” Erin smiled knowingly. “But come back here after you’re done?”

  “Of course.”

  ***

  Erin desperately wanted to believe Sean when he spoke of forever but as the night drew later and he still hadn’t returned to her, doubt began to set in.

  She paced anxiously in her bedroom, with Jack sleeping beside her bed in his travel crib making soft gurgling noises. Erin kept returning to the window and glancing out furtively from behind her curtains, desperate to catch a glimpse of Sean returning but the street outside was still and empty. Even the silence of the night unnerved her. Normally there would be howling but now there was only the gentle rustle of the leaves within the breeze.

  A panicked, fearful thought crept into Erin’s mind and planted roots, which bore down in to her. What if Sean had died? What if another wolf had attacked and killed him, as she had seen him attack and kill another wolf right there in her bedroom? If Sean was dead then by his mating logic, she too would be soon.

  The thought utterly scared her. She looked down at Jack, oblivious to the tension mounting around his little crib. She couldn’t bear to think of him left orphaned after losing both his mother and father.

  Had her mother been right all along in trying to discourage Erin from walking along this path? Her fate would now be decided by Sean. If he lived, she lived, but if he died then they would both be lost. Even when Erin’s mother tried to break free of the bond with her father, she was powerless against the magic it held, the magic that was prematurely sending her to grave for a man she no longer cared about. It was so tragically unfair.

  But Erin loved Sean and she was certain she always would. She just hoped that the same could be said of him. Even though he’d promised her forever she was wary to believe such lofty aspirations. In her checkered past, there had been guys who promised her always, declared undying love and swore they would always be there for her. The next day they would be gone, leaving only a grease-stained note saying how sorry they were and that they wished her well.

  Had they all been wolves? The thought danced around Erin’s head, desperate to be given credibility. She recalled how the guys she was drawn to all had dark temperaments and violent pasts. Some had spent time in juvenile prison, others were the proud owners of extensively long police records. Had they all also turned in to a furred wolf upon a full moon? It would perhaps explain their oddly volatile tendencies but it was too implausible that each guy she met was a mole from her father’s wolf pack desperately trying to lure her back in to the family.

  Erin didn’t like to think that for so many years she had been being manipulated by both her parents. Her father was sending young, eligible wolves in to her life and her mother was trying to discourage her from the ever ominous darkness she spoke of without actually disclosing any truth to her young daughter. Erin didn’t like any of it. She vowed that no matter what happened, she would always be honest with Jack, he deserved that.

  That was considering she would live long enough to be around to see Jack grow up. Sean still hadn’t returned, and Erin was growing increasingly anxious.

  “Where are you?” she asked the dark, unforgiving night. She needed Sean to return. She wanted to bask in his love once more, to hear the declaration uttered in his ridiculously sexy, deep, guttural voice.

  Looking up, Erin noticed the moon. Normally she completely overlooked its existence but tonight it drew her attention. There was something magical about its ethereal silver face it presented to the earth. It basked the street in a silvery glow, making the darkness of night not quite so dense. Erin had always felt a kinship to the moon that she never felt for the sun. Growing up, she had been a creature of the night, sleeping all day and waking to party as soon as it was dark. She always assumed her behavior was normal for a rebellious teen but now she wondered if it was something more; if it was her nature to be drawn to the darkness not just in men but the dark of the night?

  If she had been born male, she would perhaps also turn as Sean does. She had wolf in her blood, she understood that now. She was a child of the moon, just as Jack was. The truth was freeing in that it released Erin of all the guilt she harbored about how difficult she had been growing up. She finally realized that she was merely growing into the woman she was destined to become. As much as that terrified her mother, it was inevitable.

  The sound of the front door opening made Erin’s heart stop. She listened as the door then closed again and footsteps ascended the staircase.

  “Please be Sean,” she thought, aware that an intruder could easily have broken in again. Her home was hardly a fortress.

  The bedroom door opened, and Sean was standing there. Relief flooded through Erin as she ran to him and he embraced her in his arms. It felt so perfect to have him back with her.

  “I was worried about you,” she whispered in to his chest.

  “I’m back now,” Sean replied soothingly. Erin led him over to the bed, not to engage in more frenzied sexual activity but to do something more intimate; to sleep side by side.

  “I hope you sleep well,” Sean told her as Erin lay her head down on her pillow.

  “I will now, you’re here,” she replied sleepily, her eyelids already closing.

  “We still need to discuss the ranch,” Sean whispered. “We can’t stay here, it isn’t safe.”

  “I’d go to the moon and back for you,” Erin declared before drifting off to sleep. Beside her, Sean smiled, wondering why he had ever held back the truth when their lives together could be so perfect.

  ***

  Erin liked waking up next to Sean. As she wearily rubbed her eyes in the early morning light, she realized that it was the first night she’d actually been able to sleep. Even Jack had settled down for several hours, not even waking for a feed. Erin felt rested and renewed and it was a great feeling.

  Beside her, Sean was still asleep. She took a moment to observe how peaceful he looked with his eyes closed and his chest gently rising and falling. Erin felt content; a feeling that was new and wonderful to her.

  “Good morning, sleepyhead,” she whispered and kissed Sean on the forehead as he stirred and grumbled.

  Climbing out of bed, she went to check on Jack in his travel crib. He was already awake, cooing to himself and when he saw his mother appear his little face broke in to a massive smile. Elated, Erin reached down a tickled his tummy, certain that the new day was going to be a good one, how could it not be?

  The sound of her landline ringing startled her. Most people called her cell phone directly. It was rare for anyone to dial her home number. Wrapping herself in a silk house coat, she headed downstairs to the hallway where the phone was stored. It was still chirping away when she approached it and cautiously answered.

  “Hello, is this Erin?” asked an unfamiliar female voice.

  “Yes,” Erin confirmed, leaning against the wall as she held the handset to her ear.

  “Hi, Erin, my name is Mary Walters, I’m a nurse at St. Christopher’s Hospital.” Something about the nurse’s tone made Erin straighten to attention. She sensed that whatever news Mary was about to impart to her, it wasn’t good.

  “I’m calling with regards to your mother.” Mary’s tone remained soft and soothing yet tinged with sadness. Taking a deep breath, Erin braced herself for what she was about to say. Her mind was already anticipating the words Mary would utter next. Was her mother sick, needing surgery, or worse; in a coma?

  “Is she alright?” Erin asked anxiously in to the receiver. Picking up on the sensitive nature of the phone call, Sean had appeared at the top of the stairs, holding Jack in his arms and listening in.

  Mary sighed on the other end of the line. “I’m terribly sorry, Erin, but you
r mother passed away this morning.”

  Erin’s grip on the phone intensified in pained disbelief. “What…what happened to her?” she managed to ask as tears began to flow freely down her cheeks.

  “Heart failure,” Mary explained gently. “When she came in, we did everything we could to revive her but she was already so weak. I hate to ask this of you, but as her next of kin we need you to come to the hospital to sign some documents.”

  “Yes, of course,” Erin sniffed. Nothing felt real. Within minutes, her perfect world, her perfect morning, had been completely shattered and now her life lay in pieces on the ground around her. Her mother was gone. How was that even possible? Erin felt completely lost, like a ship without a captain, not knowing which port she needed to visit during the incoming storm.

  “There was also a note left for you,” Mary added.

  “A note?”

  “Your mother was holding it when we arrived at her home,” Mary explained. “Her final cohesive words were insisting that we get it to you.”

  A note. The words lingered in Erin’s mind. Her mother had wrote her a farewell note, so she had known she was dying. It was too terrible to contemplate that her mother knew her final moments were approaching and had no choice but to face them alone.

  “I’ll get to the hospital as soon as I can,” Erin confirmed, her hand now trembling.

  “Thank you, Erin. And I’m so sorry for your loss.”

  Erin ended the call and staggered backwards in disbelief. Luckily Sean was immediately there to support her, placing one arm around her and holding Jack in the other.

  “What happened?” he asked, concerned.

  “My mother,” Erin began, staring sightlessly at the floor, still unable to absorb what had happened. “She’s dead.”

  Sean pulled Erin in to him and let her sob against his strong, broad chest. “I’m so sorry, sweetheart,” he whispered.

  “I can’t believe she’s gone,” Erin wept.

  “I know.”

  In Sean’s other arm, Jack began to grow restless as he was hungry. Soon his cries were accompanying his grieving mother’s. The sound of Jack crying made Erin break free of her own sorrow and resume her duties as mother. She took him in her arms and wandered in to the living room to feed him. She felt like a zombie as he suckled from her, as though she were playing a part in some play and this wasn’t actually her life.

  “I’ll drive you wherever you need to go,” Sean declared as he came in to the room a few minutes later, carrying two mugs of coffee. Erin looked up at him. He was so strong, so present. She felt so comforted to have him there. She’d always needed him, but never more than this and he was actually there for her, helping her through it.

  “I have to go to the hospital,” Erin sighed. “I need to sign some paperwork.”

  Sean reached out and rubbed Erin’s leg.

  “It’s just so strange,” she mused.

  “I know.”

  “I mean, she knew she was dying,” Erin continued.

  “She did?” Sean asked, bemused.

  “Yeah, apparently she was holding a note addressed to me and her final words were asking that I get it.”

  “That is strange,” Sean agreed, staring thoughtfully in to his mug of coffee as though the answer lay somewhere within its dark liquid contents.

  “I mean, she’s been weak for a long time but I didn’t think…” Erin’s voice trailed off.

  “I know it’s hard,” Sean sympathized.

  “You don’t think I caused this?” Erin suddenly asked desperately, the guilt surging through like a sharp electrical jolt. “In being with you, in aligning to your pack, did I endanger my mother? Could wolves have done this to her?” Erin was growing frantic.

  Jack ceased suckling and as she pursed her lips in worry she raised him up and began to wind him.

  “It doesn’t work like that,” Sean reassured her. “It sounds like your mother just gave up and stopped fighting, which means that the bond to your father simply strengthened and took hold.”

  “But why would she give up?” Erin demanded. “I mean, Jack has just been born, surely she wanted to see him grow up? She had so much to live for!”

  “Perhaps the answer lies in the note.”

  “Yeah.” Erin nodded. “I reckon it must.”

  ***

  Sean drove Erin out to St. Christopher’s Hospital as he’d said he would as Jack lay sleeping in his car seat behind them.

  It felt surreal to Erin to be making the journey to her home town, knowing that once there she wouldn’t get to see her mother. She wondered, as the world sped by beyond the car window, if this would be the final time she ever made the journey? She certainly wouldn’t revisit the town for nostalgic reasons. Her mother was her only tie to her home town and now she was gone. Erin felt adrift in the great ocean of her life and it scared her.

  “You okay?” Sean kept asking Erin this, especially if she’d been quite for a long time.

  “No,” Erin replied honestly. “But I will be.”

  “I know you will, you’re strong. That’s one of the things I love about you.” Sean turned briefly to smile at her and Erin managed to smile back. Having Sean around made what was easily one of the worst days of her life bearable. Each time she wavered, each time she felt like she was drowning in her sorrow, he was there to pick her up and hold her close.

  “I just keep wondering about what the note says,” Erin admitted.

  “You’ll know soon enough.”

  “I guess.”

  “There was nothing you could have done, Erin,” Sean said, sensing the guilt she continued to feel over her mother’s death.

  “I’m not so sure,” Erin sighed.

  “Sometimes, it is just someone’s time to go. As hard as that it to accept.”

  “I just want today to be over,” Erin said as they pulled in to the large parking lot for the hospital.

  ***

  Before Erin could receive the note her mother had left for her, she had some legal obligations to attend to. She had to positively identify her mother’s body. A task which rendered her completely frozen. Luckily Sean was right beside her, holding her hand and whispering comforting words in her ear. Because of his support, she managed to nod and the blue sheet was quickly pulled back over her mother’s lifeless face.

  Erin knew that the image of her mother lying cold and lifeless on that table would haunt her for the rest of her life. She almost threw up when she initially saw her but managed to keep it together, just about. If Sean hadn’t been there she had no doubt that she would have been a quivering wreck on the floor, but somehow having him close made her feel stronger.

  After the visit to the hospital morgue, there were the piles of paperwork that needed Erin’s signature. She signed everything without reading anything through. She didn’t care about the fine print, she just wanted to leave. Everything in the morgue smelled of death and she was beginning to feel suffocated by it.

  Finally, when she’d jumped through all the hoops she needed to, she was handed the note, along with a zip baggy of the other items which had been on her mother’s person, which included her wedding band, a gold watch and pearl earrings. Erin looked forlornly at the few items, wondering how the essence of somebody could be condensed down in to just a handful of trinkets. It was all beyond depressing, it was soul destroying.

  “Let’s get you home.” Sean placed an arm around Erin and began leading her out of the morgue.

  “It smells like death in there,” Erin complained, scrunching her nose up and wiping her eyes which were red raw. She was beginning to think that she had no tears left within her to cry.

  “It’s worse for us,” Sean sympathized. “To most people it just smells like cleaning solution.”

  “I found it unbearable, I wanted to retch.”

  “You conducted yourself with grace and dignity, I was proud of you.” Sean stopped walking and turned to lightly kiss Erin on the lips.

  “I love you,” sh
e told him breathily, completely overwhelmed by her love for him. He had become her rock.

  “I love you too.”

  Hand in hand, they walked out of the hospital. Jack was bundled up in a baby carrier attached to Sean’s chest and had only stirred within the unpleasantness of the morgue as if even his tiny senses had been overwhelmed by the stench of death.

  It wasn’t until they had been driving for an hour that Erin felt strong enough to read the note her mother had left for her. As they cruised down the freeway, Erin opened the cream envelope that bore her name in her mother’s familiar cursive handwriting. With sore, weary eyes, she read her mother’s final words for her;

  My Darling Erin,

  I’m sorry that I’ve gone and that I can speak to you now only through this letter. I wanted to say goodbye properly but I knew it would be too difficult for both of us.

  There are many things I regret in life but my biggest regret is not telling you the truth about your father and about who you are. I should have known that you are a remarkable, smart girl and would figure it out for yourself eventually.

  Erin, you are a child of the moon. Your father was afflicted by the werewolf curse. I did my best to sever all ties with him and give you a chance at a normal life but I could never truly break free of my supernatural ties.

  I thought I was doing the right thing in denying you the truth, but I see now that I was wrong. I do not want you to make the same mistakes I did. Jack will become a wolf at thirteen, and I want you to surround yourself with people who can take care of both him and you when that happens. You need your pack, Erin. I tried to run from mine and ended up alone.

  And I loved your father. It’s important that you know that. I just wasn’t strong enough to accept him for who he was, curse and all. But it is my love for him that steals my life from me now, for as you hopefully know, wolves mate for life and the bond we forge cannot be undone if we love one another.