5,331 Miles

by Aster, Willow

  “I’ll find my own friends, thank you,” I muttered.

  “What?” he asked, tapping my shoulder.

  I shook my head. “Nothing.”

  “Hey, after practice, a bunch of us are doing homework at my house. Stick around and walk with us.”

  I finished putting my books in my backpack and shut the locker door. Jaxson looked down at me, grinning expectantly. I leaned my head over on the lockers and groaned inwardly. As much as I didn’t want to hang out with a bunch of his groupies, the thought of him hanging out with them without me was even worse.

  “Fine,” I agreed, sighing. “But I really have to get my homework done…”

  “I’ll even help you finish,” he promised.

  He put his arm around my shoulder and we walked toward the field. I took my spot where I usually waited for him and pretended to read/not watch him practice.

  Heather and the rhyming name girls practiced their routine and cheered extra hard every time Jaxson did anything. I wondered who would be the first to fight over him.

  When practice finished up, I walked down the steps of the bleachers and sat on the row behind where the girls practiced. Belle looked back at me and elbowed Danielle. She whispered something and they turned and looked at me again, laughing.

  My face grew hot and I moved closer to the edge of my seat, wishing I could disappear but not wanting to move while they were watching me. As soon as they looked away, I gathered my things and stood up to get out of there.

  “Hey, don’t let those girls get to you,” Derek said. He bent down and picked up the book I’d dropped. “You’re classier than th—”

  Heather came up then and put her hand on Derek’s arm. “Great job out there today,” she cooed and I could see him physically melt, his shoulders going limp before he came to his senses again and straightened.

  “Why, thank you,” he said, grinning down at her.

  He walked off with her still beaming up at him, and I thought I was forgotten until Heather turned around and waved at me over her shoulder.

  “See ya, Mira.” She lifted a brow and gave me a smug smile, almost as if challenging me, but the next second I thought I’d imagined it.

  * * *

  I was home when Jaxson called.

  “Where are you?” he asked before I even said hello.

  “I’m not feeling well,” I told him. “Have fun, though.”

  “What’s wrong?”

  He sounded so concerned that I felt bad for lying to him.

  “I’ll be fine. I just need to lie down. No worries…” My voice trailed off.

  “Okay, I’ll call you later. Get better. I want to have everyone come over on Friday night and can’t do it without you.”

  “Jaxson, I’ve gotta go. Sorry.” I hung up on him and fell back on my bed, wishing for the days when it was just the two of us.

  He didn’t call that night and I was driven to school instead of walking the next morning, so I didn’t see him until the afternoon. He looked relieved when he saw me.

  “Sorry, it was too late to call when everyone left. You feeling better?”

  I nodded.

  “You look fine,” he said. A guy bumped his arm and he nodded. “Hey, Max.” He looked back at me and grinned. “So this party tomorrow night…everyone’s coming. You can’t miss it. My mom said everyone could stay until midnight.” His eyes widened to match mine. “I know. I can’t believe it either. She likes everyone coming to our house, she says…so she can keep tabs on me.” He shrugged again and I noticed how American he seemed.

  “You hardly sound British anymore,” I told him.

  His eyebrows lowered in the middle. “Impossible. I get made fun of every day for my accent.”

  “You do? I thought I was the only one.” I laughed.

  “We’ll never get rid of it, okay? We’re the only ones who sound proper around here,” he teased.

  I leaned my head on his shoulder and smiled. “I’ve missed you,” I said.

  “Missed you too,” he said, not realizing I meant more than yesterday’s homework session.

  Heather walked by and stopped when she saw us. “Group hug,” she said, putting her arms around us.

  Jaxson smiled at her when we all let go. “C’mon, I’ve gotta get to practice,” he said.

  “I’m going to head home,” I said quietly. “Too much homework.”

  A flicker of hurt crossed his eyes, but it quickly faded. “Promise you’ll come tomorrow night.”

  “I’ll try.”

  But the next night, when it was time for me to make a decision about going to Jaxson’s, I thought of all those girls surrounding him, how out of place I would feel, my conflicting thoughts about Heather…and instead, I made a double batch of chocolate chip cookies and watched the Twilight movies until I fell asleep. I spent the first four hours checking my phone to see if Jaxson would call, but he never did.

  11

  Present

  DD, I think I have survived everything now. Get me on solid ground, STAT. There is a reason the good Lord gave us FEET. To walk and not fly.

  If you help me live, I will (most likely) not attempt this lunacy again. (Hopefully.)

  Yours,

  Mira

  I’ve probably looked at the airline ticket a hundred times, each time hoping it will tell me what to do. The night before the flight, Dave knocks on my door.

  “You packed yet?” he asks.

  I frown at him and shake my head. “What made you think I was going?”

  “Oh, I don’t know. I guess it was the free ticket to Paris.” He snorts and even though I’m exhausted and anxious I laugh with him. “What if you went and heard him out? Things can be clearer without all the excess noise around you…it doesn’t mean you have to be with him. Hell, you can even ditch him once you land and just enjoy the city.”

  “I hadn’t thought of that,” I admit.

  “I can take you to the airport in the morning,” he says.

  “You really think I should go?” I ask. I shift my feet to the floor, knocking a throw pillow off of my bed in the process.

  “I think you might regret it if you don’t,” he says.

  * * *

  I hardly sleep at all that night and don’t pack a thing. I don’t set the alarm and tell myself if I do fall asleep and wake up in time to get to the airport, that will be my answer.

  So when the sun hits my eyes and I jump straight up, wide awake after, at most, two hours of sleep, I don’t think, I just start throwing things into a suitcase. I hurriedly shower, brush my teeth, and put mascara on before walking out to see if Dave really meant what he said. He’s waiting in the kitchen, a to-go coffee mug held out for me.

  Mum is sitting there, dressed for work and beaming.

  “Don’t get any ideas,” I tell her. “This means absolutely nothing.”

  She acts like she’s locking her lips and not saying a word. I lean down and hug her and she whispers, “Have fun. Be safe. I don’t need to become a granny just yet.”

  I groan.

  * * *

  The airport is a nightmare. I get my bag checked with minimal trouble, but then it takes forever to get through security. As we divide into lines for the last round, I get cut off by a businessman who thinks he deserves to get through faster than the rest of us, namely me, as his bag gives my leg a painful swipe. By the time it’s my turn to put all my things on the conveyor, I’m a pile of nerves. My shoelace breaks as I’m trying to get my shoes back on and I give up, leaving both shoes untied.

  No sign of Jaxson, and to his credit, he hasn’t hassled me since leaving the ticket a couple of days ago. Part of me wonders if he’s changed his mind about asking me to go. Or maybe he’s sending me alone! My God. I haven’t even considered that possibility yet.

  I hear the last call for my flight as I’m twelve gates away and start running. One of my shoes keeps sliding off of my heel, but it manages to stay on. When I reach the gate, the attendant is typing away at her
computer, but no one else is around.

  “Please tell me I’m not too late…” I lean onto the counter, huffing, and a drop of sweat glides down my forehead.

  She looks up. “You’re cutting it very close,” she says.

  I want to cry, but she takes my ticket and scans it through the machine.

  “Enjoy Paris,” she says, waving me through.

  * * *

  I take a deep breath before walking into the plane, humiliated to be the last one. But there he is. Seated in the second row in first class, the relief in Jaxson’s eyes is almost my undoing. I tuck that feeling away and give him a faint smile. He stands up and takes my carry-on from me, putting it overhead as I take the seat by the window.

  When he sits next to me, he leans over and kisses my cheek. “Thank you for coming,” he says softly. He lifts a glass of champagne. “I got this for you, just in case.”

  “It’s not even nine in the morning,” I whisper. I look around like the police are going to jump out and catch me for taking an underage sip. Just a couple of months before I’m twenty-one…no big deal, right? I look around again. No one is watching so I gulp it down, enjoying the burn.

  Jaxson’s eyes widen, along with his smile. “There are no constraints on this trip…at least not where time is concerned.”

  I lean my head back against the seat and turn to face him. His face—his perfect, beautiful face—is so close my lips could almost brush against his. I swallow and he leans in closer, his nose touching mine.

  “I want to say something and I want to be sure you hear me right from the very start.” I lean back just enough to get my bearings but not by much. “This trip, while you really shouldn’t have done it, well, I’m just going to say thank you. I am appreciative and once the shock goes away, I know I will be very excited that I’m actually going to Paris.” When I say the words, my heart picks up a little more. “Paris!” I smile at him and his eyes crinkle at the corners with his happiness. “I want to be comfortable with you, Jaxson. That’s all I’m after. It doesn’t mean we’re picking up where we left off or starting something new…it simply means I don’t want to see you at a crowded party and wish I could run the other way.”

  The pain in his eyes makes me regret my words instantly, but I hold to them.

  “I’m sorry if that’s too harsh. It needs to be said. It’s how I feel. I can’t give you the summer, or even next week, but I will give you Paris.” I lift a shoulder. “And you might not still want me around after saying what I’ve said, but we can put the animosity aside for the trip and enjoy the place we’ve always wanted to go.”

  “I don’t have any animosity toward you,” he says quietly. “I just want to prove to you that I’ve changed and that I’m clear on what I want.”

  “That may be true, but I’ve also changed, and now I want different things.”

  He pulls back, stung, and I don’t jump in to make him feel better, as I would have in the past. I let my words sink in and feel a sense of closure that I’ve needed, just by updating him on my feelings. Or lack thereof.

  Breakfast comes before the awkwardness is too consuming and we eat the cute airplane food that isn’t half bad in first class. I comment on this just to make conversation, and the time passes quickly as we half watch a movie together on the TV screen in front of us.

  Eventually, I lean my head back against the seat and close my eyes, the exhaustion of overthinking every little thing catching up with me. The next thing I know, I wake up to a loud noise and a jolt. The plane shudders and dives and the captain tells everyone to quickly get in their seats and fasten seat belts. Jaxson takes my hand in his and I realize that I’m shaking. Besides flying from London to California and back those times as a kid, I haven’t flown and those flights weren’t rough. This seems extreme. We lurch and my stomach dives into the floor while my food jumps up in my throat. People are crying out with each drastic drop, and the person in the row across from us searches frantically for a bag and gets it just in time, the sound of her throwing up making me feel sicker.

  I look at Jaxson, wide-eyed, and he puts his arms around me, holding me close.

  “It’ll be okay,” he says. But then we take another dive and several people scream.

  “We are going to have to make an unscheduled landing, folks. Fasten your seat belts, and stay in your seat until we are on the ground. Everyone, please remain calm,” the pilot adds.

  “Where are we landing, did you hear?” I ask Jaxson, the panic making my voice shrill.

  “He didn’t say,” Jaxson yells over the commotion.

  When we drop this time, I grip Jaxson’s hand as hard as I can. The plane shudders and dips and I feel sure we’re going to crash in the middle of nowhere, but then a runway comes into view and we’re heading for it. When we touch the ground, the passengers applaud and I turn my head in the crook of Jaxson’s neck and breathe in the relief.

  “We made it,” he whispers, kissing my forehead.

  I lean into him, my body soaking in every touch of his, despite my brain warning me to stay away. It’s just the situation we’re in. We nearly died, for goodness’ sake.

  The speaker system crackles and the pilot gets on, sounding somewhat calmer. “We’ve landed in Montreal and will get you to the gate as soon as we can to work out your next travel arrangements. Thank you for your patience.”

  “Montreal?” Jaxson says. He looks frustrated, but when he turns to me, his eyes soften. “Well, things have never gone as expected for us, have they. We’ll get there…” His hand stays in mine and we both take a deep breath.

  12

  Present

  I don’t think I have to tell you twice, Diary, but there’s something to be said for good old-fashioned PAPER.

  Always,

  Mira

  It’s a shock when we step off the plane and into the airport. It’s not just crowded…it’s suffocating. The gates surrounding ours are all in the same state—swarms of people trying to get answers from the poor people at the counter. We step into the jumbled line.

  “What’s going on?” Jaxson asks the man in front of us.

  “From what I can tell, the computer systems are down. Flights from all the airlines are canceling. I’m not sure if it’s this god-awful weather we’re having or something else, but it’s not looking good for flights.”

  Jaxson groans. “I can’t believe it.” He puts his hand on my arm and leans in closer. “Let’s see what they say though. Maybe it’s not as bad as it looks.”

  Just then, there’s an announcement saying our flight and the next are canceled. When we finally reach the counter, Jaxson turns to the gate agent, Earl, with his charming smile and the man’s eyes stay fixed on his computer, his fingers tapping away.

  Jaxson gives him our tickets and Earl’s fingers fly over the keyboard even faster.

  “Our computer systems are down,” Earl says flatly.

  “Why are you using your computer then?” Jaxson asks.

  Earl glances up and gives a droll eyebrow lift with one brow, then resumes typing. “All flights to Paris are canceled for today and tomorrow. It’s possible we could get you out the day after that, but it’s unlikely. I’d suggest you get a hotel and check in with the airline tomorrow or the next day.”

  He looks past us like he’s already dismissed us and Jaxson puts his hand on the counter, leaning in. “Does this mean the car rentals won’t be available either, with this computer…” He waves his hand around, speechless.

  “You’ll have to ask that at one of the rental locations. Follow the signs.” And with that, he is completely done with us.

  “Unbelievable.” Jaxson looks at me, eye twitching, and we start laughing. We shuffle through the agitated people in line and laugh harder. “Come on, let’s go work on Plan B…and eat something.”

  “I could eat.” I nod, taking his hand so we don’t get separated.

  We follow the signs to the rental places and it’s nearly as crowded. We stand in line and by t
he time it’s our turn, we’re not laughing anymore.

  “We’ll take whatever you have available,” he tells the girl behind the counter.

  She grins while her lashes lower seductively and my eyes narrow at her, while also being impressed that she can do all of that at the same time.

  “I’m available,” she says with a laugh and then glances at me and quickly sobers. “Sadly, not much else is. But we do have a couple of cars in this range.” She points at the laminated page of cars and we aren’t choosy.

  He fills out the paperwork and eventually we’re pulling out of the airport parking lot.

  “Tell me what you think of this,” he says. “We spend a couple of days in Montreal, checking out the sights…if we can’t get a flight to Paris day after tomorrow, we drive to New York.” He shrugs. “Cross the Empire State Building off of our list.” He glances at me, waiting to see my reaction.

  I grin. “I like it. Solid Plan B.”

  He lets out a gust of air. “Whew. Okay.”

  He drives as if he knows exactly where he’s going.

  “Have you been here before?” I ask.

  “No, never. I’m excited to see it with you,” he says.

  “When did you start saying all the right things again?”

  “When I remembered to start saying what I really feel instead of what someone might want to hear…” He swallows and I watch the slide of his throat, mesmerized.

  I look away, face heating, ashamed that he can so easily get me off-course. I’ll have to watch that this week or it would be so convenient to slide into old habits.

  About fifteen minutes later we pull up to a grand building.

  A man in a distinguished uniform opens my door and I step out, feeling like I might burst out laughing again.