Unforgiven (Wanderers #3)

by Jessica Miller

  It didn’t occur to me until we left that how was all this stuff going to be paid for. “Um, I just thought of something. Who’s footin’ the bill?”

  “Ella, we’re rich. We can afford anything we want,” Josie said, rolling her eyes.

  “Correction, you were rich.” Her eyes widened in surprise and I quickly finished. “Josie, technically you’re dead so you yourself have no money.”

  She hung her head, now realizing the seriousness of the situation. Gabe over hearing our conversation, turned around while we were stopped and said, “Mr. Callahan has given me money for you to get what you need and only what you need. There will be a limit and you are only allowed the basics.”

  “Gross,” Josie whined.

  “What if maybe you let your parents know you’re alive…sort of?” I wasn’t sure how it worked with angels. “Can you tell them?”

  “I don’t know. That’s why we were sent here. Less chances of running into someone we knew and getting exposed.”

  “Considering your family is of the supernatural nature themselves I don’t see what the harm would be? Unless you don’t want to?”

  “I do. I’m just scared.”

  “You have nothing to be afraid of. I know your parents and Jake will be ecstatic to see you.” Josie teared up at the mention of Jake. “How about when we get back we can talk to Mr. Callahan and –”

  “Thank you Ella, but I don’t think I’m ready for that yet. And even though I don’t have money I know you do,” she said, elbowing me.

  I just laughed and relaxed back into my seat.

  We got everything the angels would need for the first few months. Every now and then Josie would slip me a few things for me to buy. I knew Gabe had to know, but he didn’t seem to care…much. I spent most of the trip avoiding Kyle. I had no idea what to say to him. Avoiding him was easy because Zane went with the boys to get what they needed and Gabe came with us girls. I couldn’t imagine Gabe wanted to deal with us girls and shopping, but I had a feeling he didn’t trust Josie and me to be alone together and didn’t want to put the pressure on Zane.

  For some reason Josie and I together was considered trouble. “Honestly, I have no idea why you would think that?” I had said to Gabe and he had given me one of his many disapproving looks, forcing me to hide my smile.

  When we loaded all the bags into the van and hopped in, I noticed the only seat left was next to Kyle. I sighed sat down knowing I’d have to talk to him eventually. Not wanting discuss things publicly, I decided to keep quiet until we got back. I could tell Kyle wanted to say something to me too, but was feeling the same way about not wanting an audience. It was an awkward ride back to the school. Every time Kyle would shift in his seat his long legs would brush mine and he’d jerk back like he had been burned. I wanted so badly to reach out and take his hand, but was afraid I would make things worse.

  When we got back to the school, everyone got out of the van. As I was about to make my exit Kyle grabbed my arm. “Can we talk?”

  My heart started to beat double time and my tongue was twisted up in knots not allowing me to speak so I nodded.

  “Hey Ella, you comin’?” Josie called.

  “In a minute,” I said, finding my voice. She gave me a nod of understanding when she saw Kyle was still in the van with me. When I felt everyone was out of earshot, I turned to Kyle. “How are you?” I wasn’t the best conversation starter.

  “I’m good, actually. How you’re doing is what I’m more concerned about,” he said.

  “I’m great,” I said a little too enthusiastically. He eyed me for a moment, not buying it. I didn’t want to talk about Roman with him so I moved to the next issue. “I never got a chance to say thank you.”

  “Thank you for what?”

  “For saving my life.”

  He smiled that boyish smile I loved so much. “Ella, you don’t have to thank me.”

  “I do and I’m sorry,” I said, feeling a pang of guilt. “I’m sorry I couldn’t save you.”

  He looked at me funny. “Ella, what are you talking about?”

  I looked away not able to meet his eyes. “The accident.” The knot in my stomach tightened. “I tried, I really tried. But I couldn’t get you out in time and it was all my fault.” I could feel the tears burning in my eyes.

  “Don’t say that. It was not your fault. I know you did what you could. I know you tried to help me.”

  “No. It was my fault. Because of me, because of my powers. If I was just a normal person no one would be after me and the people I love wouldn’t have gotten hurt.”

  “Love?” he asked with hope in his eyes.

  “Kyle, you know what I mean,” I said, not liking where this was going.

  “Ella,” he turned me to face him, wiping tears from my face. “The accident wasn’t your fault,” I started to protest but he stopped me. “Ella, it was my time to go. It didn’t matter how or who. It was meant to be,” he said calmly.

  “But aren’t you mad? Mad that your life got cut short?” I asked, wondering how he was so calm about all this.

  “I was, at first. It took me a while to understand why it had to happen. But once I came to terms with it, I got past all the anger. I was able to accept my destiny for what it was.”

  “Can you please explain it to me because I don’t understand?”

  He shifted his body so he faced me and then took my hands in his. “Ella, I know what my purpose is now and it’s not to be a pro football player,” he joked, trying to force a smile out of me. “The only reason I thought my life was going anywhere was because I had you.”

  “Kyle,” I said, shaking my head. I had to bite my lip to keep from crying again.

  “Ella, I came back because I want to help. I want to help kids like me. I may not have gotten the life I imagined, but I’m doing what I can with what I got and I get to help people in the process.” I smiled at his amazing outlook on life and wished I could feel the same way, but I didn’t. Sometimes I still felt like I didn’t belong to this life.

  “I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable around me,” he said. “I’m just here to learn like everyone else and do my job. I know you have a boyfriend now and I wouldn’t expect you to just go back to the way things were.”

  If it were that easy.

  “Ella, I will always care about you, but I understand. I did die after all. I can’t expect you to never be with someone,” he joked and I laughed, thinking this all sounded so familiar. “I’m just glad you ditched that douchebag Tristan.” I narrowed my eyes at him. “Come on Ella, really?”

  “I guess I must have hit my head harder than I thought in the accident.” He smiled and I leaned into his shoulder, taking comfort in the one person who always understood me. “When did you become so accepting?”

  “Well when you become someone with a superior essence like me you tend to mature a bit.”

  “A superior essence?” I mocked and he puffed his chest. I hit him and he laughed. “So you’re okay with us just being friends?”

  “I rather have you as a friend than nothing at all. We were friends first at one time, weren’t we?”

  “Yeah, we were, but that’s because you thought you were too cool for me,” I teased.

  “Hey, it’s not my fault you were a nerd.”

  “I was not a nerd. I just went through an awkward stage. We all did,” I said, narrowing my eyes and remembering when he spent a summer at a camp for comic book nerds. “Captain dorko.”

  “Captain dorko? That’s the best you can come up with?” he laughed when he saw my sour face.

  “Shut up,” I said, elbowing him. I sighed and leaned back against the seat. “Do you have any idea how much I’ve missed you?”

  “I know, I’ve missed you too,” he said, squeezing my shoulder.

  We sat there a moment, before I broke the silence. “We should probably get back.” I scooted out of the van and waited till Kyle shut the door. “I’ll see you around?”

  “Yes yo
u definitely will.” He flashed me his most charming smile before giving me a quick peck on the cheek. I flinched. “Sorry, habit.”

  “No it’s okay. Just maybe a hug next time.”

  “I can do that.” He winked and took off.

  When I got back to my room I discovered Josie had already made herself comfortable by throwing bags everywhere. I see some things never changed. After a much needed lecture on Josie’s slovenly ways, I took the girls on a tour of the school, and then took them to dinner. Thankfully the kitchen staff was back preparing for the school year so we didn’t have to cook our own meals and I was happy for that.

  After dinner, Josie and I went back to our room to catch up on gossip. I told her all about what happened with Roman and Tristan and about the summer. I even told her about the nightmare Tristan had left me in. Josie said she didn’t believe Tristan would do that to me and that there had to be another reason or explanation. She said she knows how much Tristan loved me and would not be that cruel. I told her she didn’t see the look on his face when he disappeared. Part of me believed what she said was right, but another part of me wasn’t sure.

  “You know there is a way you can find out?” Josie hinted.

  “How?”

  “Ask him,” she said simply.

  “I don’t even know where he is.”

  “Visit him in a dream like he does you.”

  “I never tried. I wouldn’t even know how? And how do you know he’ll tell me the truth?”

  “You just have to believe he will. Didn’t you say yourself you figured out how to tell if people are lying?”

  “Yes,” I said skeptically. It was something I picked up on a while ago. At first I thought it was a new power, but Ms. Kraft told me no. It was just my intuition kicking into overdrive – a perk of being supernatural.

  “Ella, I think you’re making this more difficult than it is. I think you’re just scared to admit that you already know it wasn’t Tristan.”

  “Well yeah,” I agreed. “If I admit that then that means it’s something else or someone else and I really can’t handle anymore.”

  She sat down on the bed next to me and gave me a hug. “Ella, you no longer have to handle it alone. I’m here now and don’t plan on going anywhere for a long time,” she smiled.

  “Now that you are back are you going to tell Billy?” I knew this was a sore subject, but I needed to take the attention off of me for a while.

  She fell back on my bed dramatically. “Billy was so last season. I’m in the mood for a new look.”

  “When are you going to stop kidding yourself? I think someone needs to admit a few things but is too scared to.”

  “Ella please, there’s nothing to admit because there was never anything going on. We were just having fun.”

  “Someone is in denial,” I sang.

  “The only person in denial here is you thinking you look good in those sweats.”

  “Hey,” I said, smacking her. “What’s wrong with these sweats? They’re comfy.”

  “What happened to the Ella that actually cared about how she looked?”

  “In case you hadn’t noticed, a lot of things have changed. And I do care how I look. Just not as much.”

  Josie sighed, sitting up. “So what do you want to do now?”

  “We can call Cameron and the rest and go watch a movie in the social room if you want?”

  “Sounds great,” she said.

  I called Cameron and Dean and asked them if they wanted to join us. Cameron agreed but Dean said he had other plans. What, I didn’t know, considering there was no one else here but Mackenzie. I shivered at the thought. Josie asked the other angels if they wanted to join us as well. Sophia said yes, but Dylan decided to stay in her room and pout. Clearly she was still pissed about being here and was not going to enjoy herself.

  I also called Roman, hoping it wouldn’t be weird with Kyle there, but Kyle had said he understood so I was hoping he really meant it. I guess we would find out.

  We watched two movies until I fell asleep in Roman’s arms. I was sad to say goodnight, realizing he could no longer stay in my room with me. I couldn’t stay with him either, because Dean was his roommate and that would just be awkward. After the five kiss goodbye, Josie got sick of us and pushed Roman out the door and slammed it in his face. “Goodnight Roman,” she said, standing in front of the door. I tried to glare over my smile but was unsuccessful.

  “Goodnight Josie,” he laughed. “And sweet dreams, Ella.”

  “Goodnight Roman,” I called, hoping he heard me before he left.

  Aidan relieved us of our duties so we could rest up for school and prepare for the new students who we would have to ‘mentor’. Gabe had told me now that school was starting up, Zane would no longer have the time to train me and I was going to go back to training with him. As much as I enjoyed my sessions with Zane I was actually happy to go back to training with Gabe, but I was not happy about getting up early.

  I spent the week hanging with Josie, Cameron, and Roman. Kyle would hang with us once in a while. I could tell, despite what he said, he was still uneasy seeing me with someone else, but he proved he could do the friend thing. He even went out of his way to befriend Roman, which is a hard task to do when you’re one of my exes. Roman and Kyle were a lot alike and had so much in common it didn’t take long for them to become buds. It did take a bit for Roman to warm up to Kyle and only after Kyle and I both had convinced him we were just friends and he had no interest in trying to get me back. I was just happy everyone was getting along.

  Dean hid most of the week and I was worried something was wrong. He just kept telling me he was catching up on his sleep and to leave him alone.

  I didn’t bother him anymore.

  The weekend before school started Roman asked me to stay with him in his room and promised me Dean wouldn’t be there. He said Dean had plans to spend the night somewhere else. Where, I did not know, and didn’t want to. I was happy to oblige to Roman’s request. Spending the night in his arms warmed my heart and made it easier for me to sleep at night. Of course Roman had other plans than sleep, but I was too nervous about Dean accidently walking in. So I told him he would have to suffer with cuddling. He didn’t seem to mind.

  Chapter Twenty-five

  For once I was actually excited for school to start. I was looking forward to seeing my other friends and I was actually excited to be mentoring the new students. I think I was the only one though. I thought maybe since they were new they wouldn’t be tainted by the many rumors that had been floating around last year about me. And since they were new I understood how they felt and could help them relate and also they would get to know me for me and not the freak everyone else thought I was when I started.

  I was hoping to start a new outlook on life. I wasn’t going to hide from my powers or be ashamed. I was going to embrace them and try to accept who I was. I was going to be starting the school year with my best friend Josie and my wonderful boyfriend, Roman, by my side. With their help I knew I could handle anything.

  “Okay seriously, I never thought I’d see the day I had to wear polyester,” Josie complained, fidgeting with her skirt that she hiked up way too high. She insisted I wear a skirt too because I had killer legs and should show them off. I told her I would only wear it if she stopped pulling mine up higher. It was still warm enough so I didn’t mind the skirt. I topped off the look with a light blue polo. Josie also insisted I wear my hair down.

  I would have rather wore it up, but she reminded me I was to embrace my powers, not hide from them. So much for all those hats I bought to cover my streaks. “So when do you have to go babysit all the newbies?” Josie asked, while she still tried to pull my skirt higher.

  I smacked her hand away. “I’m not babysitting. I’m their guide.”

  “Whatever, better you than me.”

  “What time is you first class?” I asked, while I slipped on my ballet flats.

  “It’s at ten and it’s with
that horrible Mr. Atkins.”

  “Mr. Atkins?” I asked, not remembering him.

  “Yeah, that hideous man that kept telling me I was fallen and trouble.”

  “Oh,” I said, remembering that atrocious meeting in March when we had to tell all the teachers about the attack on the school.

  “And we have to spend half the day with him,” she groaned.

  “Why?”

  “Because for some reason he’s the only teacher who knows the most about our kind.”

  “He didn’t seem to want to jump on the angel band wagon.”

  “I know,” Josie said.

  We were interrupted by a light knock on the door. “Come in,” I called.

  “Good morning,” Roman said cheerfully, walking over, and kissing me on the cheek.

  “Good morning,” I smiled back, kissing him on the lips, wanting more.

  Josie cleared her throat and Roman pulled back. “Good morning Josie.”

  “Roman,” she nodded. “Say, did I ever tell you how much I love a man in uniform,” she winked.

  “Down tiger,” I warned her.

  She shrugged, throwing me a coy smile. “Do you have any cute brothers?”

  “No,” he said curtly.

  “Sorry I asked,” she said, noticing the sudden change in his mood, and stomped off into the bathroom.

  “Roman?” he ignored me. “Roman, what was that all about?” I asked, not liking his sudden attitude toward Josie.

  “Sorry, nothing. I just…I’ll go apologize,” he said, heading to the bathroom.

  “Josie,” he knocked on the door. “I’m sorry. I was being a dick, forgive me, please?”

  She opened the door with her arms across her chest. “You’re lucky I’m a sucker for a boy with an accent.”

  “And one in a uniform?” He threw her his most charming smile, the one that few could resist.

  She hit him and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “You’re forgiven, but only this once. Don’t do it again,” she warned.