Unforgiven (Wanderers #3)

by Jessica Miller

  “Yes,” she squealed excited. “Come on, I’ll introduce you.” She pulled me over to a crowd of people which included Cassidy, Sienna, Sophia, and a few other new students I met earlier this week. Josie was practically jumping out of her knee high boots in anticipation of introducing me to this new guy she was fawning over. She taped him on the shoulder and he turned around to greet me.

  I could see the appeal, he was very attractive. His medium bronze hair stood up all over the place in protest. Looking like he took hours just to get them to go in all different directions. He had broad shoulders and a strong build. He was so tall I had to stretch my neck just to look up into his eyes, eyes that were the color of amethysts and dangerously engrossing.

  The more I looked, the more I felt drawn to him. Like there was an invisible force pulling me closer and closer until I was touching him. I was hypnotized by his eyes and for a moment, it was only him and me in the room. I heard classical music playing in the background. “Ella…hello…Ella?” Josie nudged me. I took a step back. The noises from around me grew louder and I remembered I was at a party. Josie looked at me funny. Apparently she had been trying to get my attention but I was too enthralled by this guy to even notice.

  I shook my head embarrassed. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to,” I blushed.

  “It’s okay,” he said in a husky voice. His smile only enhanced the draw. “I’m Lucas.”

  “Ella,” I managed to get out.

  “Yeah, I got that.” I looked away feeling like an idiot.

  Roman walked up beside me, startling me. “Hey,” he said, wrapping his arms around my waist. “I turned around and you were gone.”

  “Sorry, Josie wanted me to meet someone. Roman, this is Lucas.” He shook his hand kindly and then threw his arm around me. It took everything I had not to knock it off. I knew what he was doing. He could put on a face all he wanted, but I knew he was only pretending. I let it go anyways. No sense in starting a fight over something silly.

  Josie put her attention back on Lucas and I found myself still not able to tear my eyes away from his and from what I could tell, neither could he. Something about his eyes seemed familiar. I looked a little deeper and I swear I could see different forms shaping inside his irises. Startled, I took a step back. “Are you okay?” Roman asked. “You look a little flushed.”

  “Yeah,” I said, forcing a smile. “Just a little warm in here.”

  “Oh, sorry,” he said, dropping his arm.

  I giggled. “It’s not you, well, some of it is,” I winked. He wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me close to him.

  “You want to get out of here?”

  “Not yet, but soon,” I said, pushing up on my tiptoes to kiss his lips.

  I spent most of the party with Roman and watched while Josie flirted shamelessly with Lucas. Every now and then I would look over my shoulder. I wasn’t sure if it was natural paranoia or the fact that last time Mackenzie played a prank on me and I was trying to keep an eye out, making sure I stayed as far away from her as possible. As if she knew I was thinking about her, she strolled by, smirking. She was latched on to Dean and it took all I had not to throw up right where I stood. I glowered at him, letting him know I was not pleased with his choice of date for the evening. I thought I made it clear that it was not necessary for him to continue with the plan and we would come up with a new one, but Dean never did listen.

  I also noticed Cameron and Austin were on opposite sides of the room and while Mackenzie’s attention was on Dean, his was on Cameron. “Hey, is everything okay with you and Austin?” I asked her.

  “Yeah, he’s just being a dick as usual. He’s still pissed I left without saying anything and he thinks I cheated on him.”

  “What, that’s crazy? Why would he think that?” She just shrugged. “Besides, it’s not like there was anyone you could have cheated on him with I mean there was Dean, but that would never even be an option,” I laughed.

  Cameron laughed. “Yeah, right,” she said with a soft tone.

  “Well, he’ll get over it. If not his loss.”

  “Thanks Ella,” she said, smiling kindly.

  Shortly after, Roman and I had decided to make our way out of the party so we could spend some time alone. “Leaving so soon?” Lucas asked as we said our goodbyes.

  “I’m not so much in the mood for a party,” I admitted.

  “That’s a shame. I was hoping to get to know you better,” he smiled charmingly.

  “Maybe some other time,” I said, clinging closer to Roman, who to my surprise was keeping his cool. Lucas smiled and turned back around. I pushed Roman out of the room wanting to get as far away as I could from Lucas. I didn’t know what it was about him, but something set me on edge and until I could figure out what his deal was, I was going to keep my distance.

  Roman mistook my rush to get out of there as sign for us to hurry back to the room. He yanked me up the steps so fast I thought he was going to pull my arm out of the socket. “I can’t run that fast in heels,” I complained, afraid I’d break my ankle. Roman stopped and gestured for me to hop on his back. He carried me up the last two flights of stairs. I giggled as he ran down the hall to my room. I handed him the key to unlock the door and then jumped off his back.

  Once inside he slammed the door shut and pushed me up against it attacking me with his lips. He had my clothes off in record time. I laughed at his eagerness and walked over to the bed signaling him to follow me with my finger. He hopped on one foot trying to get off his shoes. He was naked before he even hit the bed. I pulled him down on top of me and he didn’t waste any time showing me just how much he loved me.

  When it was over, I held him close, savoring the moment. I was content and I didn’t want this feeling to go away. Afraid it would be a while before we got this chance again, Roman took advantage of me all, night, long.

  I found myself in an unfamiliar forest, walking around barefoot, and wearing a tattered dress. As the scene played out before me, I knew this felt familiar, even though I didn’t know where I was. I knew there was someone else there too, but I wasn’t going to run. “Tristan?” I called out, wondering if this was his doing. After the last nightmare he left me in, I wouldn’t be surprised.

  I walked a little further, trying to take in my surroundings. I heard a rustling to my left and I froze. I looked over to see that it was just a tree frog. I took another step and then another gathering my bearings. When I reached a clearing, I stood there, remembering this same one in a dream I had last year. “Tristan, if this is your idea of some sick joke you can knock it off,” I yelled, trying to get him to expose himself. He was the only other person who knew about the dream.

  When he didn’t come out and reveal himself, I stood there with my arms crossed and huffed. I tried to wake myself up, but I was stuck. I felt something long and slimy slither across my foot. My eyes darted down in time to see a large snake making its way across the ground.

  I screamed, jumping out of the way. My voice echoed through the forest and when I looked up, Tristan was standing across the clearing from me. “Why are you doing this?” I demanded.

  He stood there motionless.

  “So you’re not going to say anything?”

  Again, nothing.

  We both stood there silently, watching each other. Before I knew it he was in front of me in a flash. His hands gripped my shoulders so tight I thought they’d bruise. “Tristan, stop it,” I pleaded, trying to break free, but he was too strong. I knew I would have to find a way to get through to him or he would break both my arms. I looked up into his deep, dark eyes, and all I saw was a bottomless pit of nothing – just deep, dark depths of black. This was not Tristan or this version of him was not one I knew.

  Frightened, I forced myself to wake up, but I couldn’t. There was no escaping this nightmare. I pleaded with him to let me go. He let out a low, guttural growl, exposing his fangs and going for my neck. I screamed so hard and loud I finally woke myself up.

&nb
sp; I sat up in bed panting. My whole body shaking from the terrifying nightmare I just saw. Roman woke up and turned to me, examining my pale face. “Ella, what is it?”

  I swiped a shaky hand across my sweaty forehead. “Just a bad dream,” I said.

  “Do you want to talk about it?” Concern was written all over his face. I threw my arms around him, holding on tight. “Hey, it’s okay,” he soothed.

  “Just don’t let go.”

  He pulled me back down to the bed and held me close until I was able to rest comfortably. I was afraid to fall asleep, but I needed the rest. I thought maybe this time I would pay Tristan a visit and get this whole thing straightened out. I wasn’t sure exactly how it worked, but I knew I had to give it a shot or I might not be able to sleep again.

  I closed my eyes and pictured Tristan. I thought about picturing the time we spent on the beach but was afraid he might drown me. Then I thought about the dream where we were on the cliff and quickly shook away the thought for fear of him pushing me off the cliff. Didn’t know if you could actually die in your dreams or not, but I was not willing to find out.

  I thought really hard of the perfect place, one that was safe, and one that I could picture clearly. I thought of all the roses and lilies glistening from the bright moonlight. I thought of the pond and the stone steps lined up along the path. Then I thought of Tristan. I pictured him the way he was, the night he made dinner for me and him. I pictured us dancing under the stars as we did that night, him holding me close, and promising to never let me go.

  When I opened my eyes, I saw the garden exactly as I pictured it. I spun around in search of Tristan, but he was nowhere to be seen. Either I failed in my attempt or he was just that mad at me. “Ella?” There was surprise and shock in his voice.

  I slowly turned around to face him. He looked horrible. His eyes grew wide at the sight of me. His expression said I was the last person he expected to see and for a moment I believed these nightmares weren’t his doing. “What are you doing here?” he said, taking a step toward me. I took one back. His shoulders fell and he dropped his head. “I understand. You have every right to be mad, but I thought I was doing the right thing.”

  “I’m only here to tell you to stop. Stop the nightmares. I get you’re pissed, but it’s a little much, even for you.”

  His brows pinched together in confusion. “Ella, I know you’re upset, but I would never purposely hurt you,” he said, his voice pained.

  I laughed harshly. “That’s a little hard to believe after you left me in Ireland with your pathetic excuse. You’re a coward Tristan. You couldn’t even breakup with me to my face.”

  “Because I knew it would be too hard. I knew if I didn’t leave I wouldn’t have the strength to in the morning. I couldn’t go through seeing the look on your face when I told you what I decided.”

  “Well take a good look, because it wasn’t much different from what I look like right now which is pissed off!” He recoiled from my shrill voice. “You had no right to make that decision for me. You have no idea what my life was like and –” I stopped. I was getting off topic of why I was there. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes to calm myself.

  “Ella,” he reached out for me and risked taking a step closer.

  I held up my hand. “Tristan, I’m only going to ask one last time. Please, just leave me alone.” When I looked up into his eyes, I saw a deep blue ocean of sadness and pain. He looked truly upset and nothing like the Tristan in my nightmares. My heart sunk when I saw the dark circles under his eyes, like he hadn’t slept in days. His skin was paler than normal making me think he wasn’t feeding. I let my guard down long enough for him to touch me.

  I let his hand linger on my arm. The warmth and tingling feeling I felt when he touched me reminded me of the love I felt for him. I closed my eyes and held on to that, hoping I could find a way to reach him, to get him to understand. He was so close I could feel his warm breath on my cheek. When I looked up, I found his eyes, and I was suddenly lost in them. Lost in the beauty and joy they always brought me. Tristan slowly lifted his arm, placing a cold hand on my cheek. I leaned into it, loving the embrace.

  Tristan took his opportunity and leaned down to kiss me. I didn’t stop him. I wanted him to. I wanted to feel him, the real Tristan. I let my lips linger longer than they should have. I pulled back slowly. He stared deep into my eyes and I wanted to cry. “Tristan, why did you do that to me?”

  “Do what? Kiss you?” he smiled weakly.

  I shook my head and walked away. “No. You left me in that cave. It was dark and then all those snakes and spiders.” I shuddered at the memory. “I never imagined that you could be…you’ve changed. You’re not the same person I know,” I said, more or less trying to convince myself.

  He followed me and when he reached me, he turned me around to face him. “Ella, I don’t understand?”

  “You were so angry and all that rage turned into darkness and all that darkness.” My lip started to quiver.

  “Ella, I don’t know what you’re talking about?”

  I knew the only way to get him to leave me alone was to tell him I forgave him. “It’s okay,” I said softly. I stepped out of his grip. “I forgive you.”

  “I don’t deserve your forgiveness,” he said roughly.

  “I have to go now.”

  “No, wait!”

  “No Tristan,” I shook my head slowly. “This is it. I won’t be coming back and I don’t want you to visit me anymore either.”

  “But I haven’t –”

  “Goodbye Tristan.”

  “Wait,” he called. I turned back to him and he pulled me in for a kiss. A long, soft, tender kiss. One that would stay with me. One that would make me want to touch my lips and reminisce about the kiss. One that burned a hole in my heart and I hated him for that.

  When he finally released me, I let out a breath, one that I didn’t even know I was holding. Before the tears escaped my eyes, I walked away, leaving Tristan with a hopeful smile on his face. As I walked to the pond, everything began to slowly vanish as I returned to my state of sleep. I didn’t know if I accomplished what I planned to, but part of me felt more at ease.

  When I opened my eyes, the first thing I saw was Roman. I smiled. I gently caressed his face, waking him. He smiled back, inching closer to me. Feeling a little guilty about kissing Tristan in my dream, I pulled him into me and kissed him aggressively. “Whoa, what’s gotten in to you?” he asked breathless.

  “I just want you, now,” I said, pushing myself on top of him. He didn’t resist, but he did take over the reins, rolling over on top of me.

  “I love you,” he whispered against my lips.

  “I love you too,” I said, kissing him again. I didn’t know if part of me felt guilty for kissing Tristan or I just needed to be with him. I needed to feel him and needed to feel how much he loved me. I needed him to show me how much he loved me and that things would be okay. And that’s exactly what he did, twice.

  The weekend flew by and before I knew it was Monday again. Josie had spent the weekend hanging with Cassidy, Lucas, and a few other new kids leaving Roman and I to have the room to ourselves for the weekend. Even though I was hoping to spend some time with Josie, I wasn’t complaining about the private time I got to spend with Roman. We took advantage of every second we had together. I think the only time we actually left the room was to eat.

  On Monday, Zane had let me know that Gabe would be out of town for the week on personal business. So we had to report to our normal self-defense classes and Zane would take over for him after school. I wasn’t looking forward to going back to class considering we were on a totally different level than everyone else and to make matters worse, Mr. Miller pointed that out to the whole class. “Miss McCallister, could you please come over here and stand next to me,” he said.

  I pulled my blue socks up to my knees, rolled up the sleeves on my horrible yellow school t-shirt, and tightened my ponytail. I stood next to Mr. Miller
nervously, remembering my first day there when I knocked out Roman. “Ashby, front and center.”

  As if Roman was having the same memory, he winked at me before he joined me. Only then, standing in front of everyone had I noticed who was there. The strange new guy Josie was jonesing for, Lucas, Brennen, the wolf – the one I accidently pelted in the head with the roll – Kyle, my ex, along with two other angels Dylan and Nate, and of course Josie and Cassidy. Seeing all these people before me started making me feel apprehensive.

  “For those of you who are new, I am going to tell you now that certain students here excel better at their skills then others. Those students participate in special training to make them even better. Those of you who think you got what it takes to be as good or better will have the opportunity to prove it.” Mr. Miller paused, letting the info sink in. “We are fortunate enough to have two of the best here with us for the week,” he said, pointing to Roman and me. I suddenly wanted to hide. I didn’t take compliments well nor did I like to be the center of attention.

  “McCallister, Ashby, I want you two to show them just what it’s like to be the best.”

  I turned to Roman who had a cocky smile on his face. Clearly he loved the attention. It stroked his ego making his head bigger than necessary. I smiled back knowing well I could easily bring him back down to reality.

  Cassidy stood up from the group. “Is there a problem, Miss Carter?” Mrs. Daniels asked.

  “I’m sorry, but I think it’s wrong to have a girl fight a guy. That’s not a fair fight,” Cassidy said.

  I had to hide the smile on my face. Mrs. Daniels looked to Mr. Miller who smirked. “Miss Carter, while your concern is valid, it does not apply here. Here in this gym we are not boys and girls nor men or women. We are warriors, equals, and I can assure you this match is every bit as fair,” Mrs. Daniels said, smiling proudly at me. “But of course that is up to Ella. Would you like another partner to spar with?”