Always and Forever

by Soraya Lane

  “Are you going to go out with me?”

  They were both staring, both smiling, both waiting.

  “Yeah,” she replied. “Maybe I am.”

  “Then hell yes, I’m gonna call you,” he yelled out, jumping up and running back to the pool, leaping in and sending water splashing everywhere.

  When he looked back, Lisa was still giggling and he couldn’t stop laughing. He wanted to high-five the world! He’d met a girl. A girl he liked. A girl who was going to rock his world in a good kind of way. And liking a girl had never felt so damn awesome.

  11.

  PRESENT DAY

  Baby, we’re here,” Matt said, voice low as he placed a hand on Lisa’s thigh.

  “Huh?” she mumbled.

  He knew she was going to be angry with him for letting her sleep so long, but he’d figured that she probably needed it after the hours she’d been pulling at the shop. Besides, it had done him good to have time to think, process his own thoughts and try to get a handle on what they’d been going through. He had so many questions, so many things he wanted to know the answers to, but he was too scared to ask any of them and he certainly wasn’t about to bring up Lisa’s cancer with her. Or even attempt to talk about kids, or their lack of kids, too soon, after the way she’d shot him down earlier. But he wasn’t going to give up about the adoption or fostering options—she might be snappy about it now, but he’d read how long the wait could be for adoption. They needed to get their names down if they were going to do it.

  “What?” she mumbled, sitting up straight and stretching out her arms above her head. “No way! You let me sleep?”

  Matt shrugged. “You looked so cute all tucked up with your mouth open, snoring.”

  She slapped his arm playfully.

  “I don’t snore.”

  “Yeah, you do.”

  She went to hit him again but this time he grabbed her hand and dropped a kiss against her skin before she could make contact with him. It had been awhile since he’d just touched her like that, without thinking. “You’re so cute when you’re angry,” he said teasingly.

  She laughed and pushed him away, opening her door and getting out. Matt watched as she reached her hands up, shielding her face from the sun. The weather was perfect, and not for the first time since they’d left home, he was so pleased they’d decided to do it.

  “Come on!” Matt said. “Let’s get this party started.” He locked the Caddy, pushed the keys into his pocket and walked around to check that Lisa had done her door. Then he reached for Lisa’s hand as she met his gaze and smiled over at him; like nothing was wrong, like they were still just Matt and Lisa with not a thing in the world to worry about. But there was something lacking despite the fact they were touching, something he hoped would just magically disappear, a feeling he couldn’t shake, like at any moment everything could unravel. He got why she hadn’t been interested in sex after what she’d been through, but it was weird for them to not at least touch and kiss easily.

  “Want to go investigate where we’re staying?” he asked.

  “Depends on how long you think we should stay.”

  He shrugged. “I was thinking just one night here, but we can do whatever you want.”

  She nodded. “You mind if I go take a walk? Look around for a bit?”

  He turned when she pressed a warm kiss to his cheek before letting go of his hand and walking off, glancing over her shoulder and smiling as he raised his hand in a wave. Lisa had always been independent and he loved that about her, but she was different now. Her confidence was so much quieter, whereas before it had been so overt.

  Matt headed into the motel. It was one he’d come across doing a quick Google search the night before, and given they were only in town a night, he wasn’t fussy as long as the sheets were clean, the room was clean, and they had somewhere safe to park their car.

  “Can I help you?”

  Matt smiled at the older woman behind the counter. “Sure can. I need a room for two.”

  She nodded. “One night?”

  Matt nodded. “Yep, unless my wife finds enough things to do for longer.”

  She took his credit card when he held it out, and he filled out a form before taking the keys as they were passed to him. He looked around, thought it looked okay for a night or two.

  “Your wife needs help finding places to go, tell her to come see me. I’d be starting with one of our farmers’ markets in the morning and I’ll bet you’ll be coming in and paying me for another night after taking a look around.”

  Matt groaned. “Now I’ll have to tell her about the market.” He chuckled to himself. If she didn’t know about it already, that was. Maybe Sacramento had been the perfect place to bring her—nothing perked her up like fresh produce and pretty secondhand clothes to sort though. And he’d bet that she’d manage to find some of those at any market. It was an obsession she’d turned into a business, and as much as he liked her pretty designs, it wasn’t an obsession he even came close to sharing with her.

  He headed off to find her, thinking that they really hadn’t organized themselves very well. If she didn’t have her cell on her, he’d either have to stroll around town looking for her or wait it out and hope she came back before too long. He started walking before pulling his phone from his pocket, crossing the road and heading for the first coffee shop he could see. He needed a shot of caffeine to kick-start his brain. While he was waiting in line, he looked out the window and saw, across the street, a mane of golden blonde hair—it was Lisa, her head tipped back as she laughed at something an elderly woman was saying, hand on her arm.

  That was his Lisa. She’d always made friends with everyone and couldn’t ever seem to stop talking when she met someone to chat with. He was happy to see her coming back to herself.

  When Matt stepped out of the coffee place and waved, catching her eye, she smiled and waved to him just like old times. He watched as she said some final words to the woman she was talking to before hurrying across the road to him.

  “You’re not going to believe it,” she said.

  Matt groaned, even though he loved hearing her so excited. “I’m gonna take a guess that it has something to do with tomorrow’s market?”

  “How do you know about it already?” She reached and took the take-out cup from his hand, sipping as they walked. “Mmm, I need one.”

  “So, back to the farmers’ market,” Matt said, taking his coffee back after she’d taken a few long sips. “Do we really need to buy a whole heap of fruit and veggies for the road?”

  “We can just handpick a few things, and then there’s this woman there who has a whole heap of vintage fabrics, ribbons and clothes. She has a little shop in town too, but she’s closed today and might be there tomorrow. Well, according to Hazel anyway.”

  Matt frowned jokingly at his wife. “Who the hell is Hazel? Since when do we know anyone from Sacramento?”

  “Hazel is the lovely old lady I got chatting to before. I told her we might see her tomorrow.”

  “Ohmygod,” Matt muttered. “Tell me again why I married you and continue to let you torture me with markets and strangers that you collect like they’re animals who need a home?” He was teasing but he loved it, was ready to high-five her for being so happy and normal.

  “Matt,” she said, taking his coffee again and draining it before passing him back the empty cup, “you know you secretly love coming to markets with me. Didn’t we already have this conversation?”

  Matt laughed; it was the only thing he could do. Lisa was in a happy place, and it was nice to see that old fiery spark that he’d been missing. It was like someone had flicked a switch.

  “Market, here we come, then,” he said. “Boss.”

  Lisa laughed. “Matt, thanks for suggesting this trip.” She gazed up at him and he stilled as she pressed a kiss to his jaw. “This road trip was the best idea you’ve ever had. I needed it.”

  He clasped her hand tightly and they walked side by side t
hrough town. At least he’d finally done the right thing.

  “So, tell me more about this farmers’ market,” he said, wanting to hear her talk, to take his mind off the other things floating through his head.

  “Well, it’s supposed to be incredible,” she said. “They have amazing produce here, all grown locally . . .”

  Matt hardly heard a word she said. All he cared about was the happiness in the lilt of her voice, and the way her eyes kept darting sideways to catch his.

  “Come on, crazy market girl, let’s go find something to eat.”

  “Can you believe they have a drive-in movie theater here? They’re showing Jurassic World and some kids’ movie. What a shame we can’t take the girls to it. Eve and Zoe would love it!”

  Matt shook his head, trying not to laugh at her. Lisa was back. And if felt so damn good.

  Lisa actually felt kind of normal. The sun was shining, and she was in a cool town that she’d never had the chance to explore properly before even though it was only a few hours from home. She hadn’t been lying to Matt—it was exactly what she’d needed. Getting away from everything had taken a weight off her shoulders that she wouldn’t have thought could be moved.

  “So can we go?” she asked, swinging hands with Matt as she looked around the city.

  “Where?”

  “To the drive-in movie,” she told him.

  “We sure can.”

  Lisa tucked in closer to him. “What could be better than going to a drive-in movie in a vintage Cadillac?”

  “Says the Grease movie fan-girl,” Matt teased, grabbing for her.

  She laughed. “I always used to dream of being Sandy. I guess I’m still playing dress-up and make-believe with what I do for a job.”

  She stayed in place beside him, loving the way he tucked her tight, his arm around her so that she could snuggle into the nook beneath his shoulder. When they’d first met, she’d fantasized about being up close and personal with the big quarterback, loved watching him play. Back then he’d been best friends with her sister and she’d lived in fear of Kelly falling for him herself, but she never had. Kelly had been friends with everyone, but for some reason she’d clicked with Matt and they’d spent a lot of time together. Matty had been struggling with his mom battling cancer, and her sister had had a tough time with an old boyfriend—maybe they’d just liked the fact they could hang out and nothing was going to happen, not that either of them had ever talked about it to her. But when Lisa had first met Matt, she’d fallen hard. Every look, every accidental touch . . . He’d made her heart race, her body burn with a fire deep inside her she hadn’t even known existed.

  As Matt always said, she was lucky he’d been best friends with her older sister. If she’d had an older brother, Matt would have probably been kneecapped before they’d even had the chance to sneak off together, simply because of the way he used to look at her.

  “So I’m thinking we might have to stay more than one night,” Matt said, pulling her from her thoughts.

  “Why’s that?”

  “Because I did a bit of research before we left home, and I actually made a booking at a really nice restaurant tonight. Which means we’ll either have to cancel that or miss the movie.”

  “Seriously?” she asked. It wasn’t like Matt to do anything even remotely romantic, which was why he’d managed to take her by surprise when he’d suggested this trip in the first place.

  “What, about staying an extra night or the restaurant?”

  “Both.”

  Matt tucked her tighter against him. “We’re going to have dinner overlooking the river, and yeah, if you want to stay another night to go to the drive-in, then consider it done. I just want to chill and enjoy.”

  “I thought you’d love the idea of the drive-in.”

  “I never said I didn’t. I’m just not sure about the movie,” he said.

  “Huh,” Lisa murmured.

  Matt stopped walking and looked down at her. “What does huh mean?”

  She smiled and blinked up at him. “Well, drive-ins used to be all about the snuggling and the necking and the . . .”

  She stopped talking when Matt placed a finger over her lips. “Stop talking. I need to phone and cancel dinner tonight.”

  “Wh–”

  “We’re going to the drive-in tonight!”

  They both laughed and Lisa breathed out a happy kind of sigh. “This feels nice.”

  “Yeah,” he said, “it does.”

  They walked in silence, but as she looked around, held on to her husband, the thoughts started to slowly trickle back. Was this enough? Was it okay that they’d never take their children exploring? Never take kids on a road trip and go on adventures? She wished she’d never acknowledged how good she was feeling, because it had made the thoughts come back like a flood into her mind that she couldn’t hold back.

  Silent tears started to slide down Lisa’s cheeks but she gritted her teeth to stop from crying, tried so hard to push them away, to stop her feelings.

  “Lis, I think we . . .” Matt said, arm falling away from her as he slowed down. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

  Matt dipped down, his body instantly engulfing hers, arms embracing her in a big bear hug, chin to the top of her head. She focused on breathing, hugged him back, comforted by the warmth of his chest, the soft rise and fall of it. She waited until she had her emotions back in check, or as back in check as they could be given how she was feeling and what she was going through.

  “I’m sorry, I don’t know what’s happening to me. I just . . .” she took a deep, shuddering kind of breath. “It all comes crashing back sometimes, that’s all.”

  “We’re gonna be okay,” he said firmly. “You hear me? We’re going to be great. We were doing fine just now, just like old times, right?”

  Lisa heard him, loud and clear, but it was one thing to be positive and another entirely to simply stick your head in the sand, which was what Matt had been doing. He was trying hard, but . . . she needed to get a grip, refocus.

  “Are we still going to get some lunch?” she asked, wishing her emotions weren’t so all over the place and wanting to change the subject. It wasn’t like her to be that way, but she’d been on a roller coaster of a ride over the past nine months. She was almost ready to admit that she needed professional help. Almost. But then it would mean actually admitting what she’d done, that she’d terminated her one and only pregnancy, and she wasn’t ready to confront that yet.

  “Lunch, then afternoon sex in our dodgy motel room, then dinner,” Matt suggested, giving her one of his too-cute winks. Only she wasn’t quite ready to play along yet.

  “How about we start with lunch?” she said.

  “Honey D Café?” Matt asked.

  She saw his frown. “It looks good.”

  “You obviously can’t read the sign. They have a tofu lunch special and a roasted milk tea, sea salt latte. I don’t even know what that is!”

  “Come on Mr. Macho Builder, it’s time you tried some tofu.”

  “No chance,” he protested.

  Lisa raised an eyebrow, holding on to him tightly as she reached for his hand. She was trying, he was trying . . . she just wished they didn’t flip from happy to sad to almost there so often in one day.

  “Oh no, not that look,” Matt groaned.

  “Please,” Lisa begged. “I want to eat tofu together. And crazy sea salt latte concoctions.”

  Matt dropped his head. “Okay, fine.” He dragged her closer. “Let’s get this over with.”

  12.

  TEN YEARS EARLIER

  I can’t believe we just did that,” Lisa whispered against Matt’s skin. His chest was slick, damp with sweat, but she didn’t seem to care.

  “If your dad wasn’t going to kill me before, he is now.” Matt groaned but slid his arm protectively around her at the same time. Lisa snuggled in tight to him. “Man, is he going to kill me.”

  “I can’t believe you’re talking about my dad when we�
��ve just . . .” She smiled and he cracked up at the look on her face. “Done it.”

  Matt laughed. “Yeah, sorry.”

  Lisa kissed him. “I forgive you. Just don’t do it again!”

  “I love you,” Matt said, brushing his lips across her head.

  She pushed up on one elbow, hair falling over her shoulder and down onto Matt’s face. Lisa stared at him, and he pushed up slowly to press his mouth to hers again, loving the taste of her. He could kiss her all day and never stop.

  “You don’t have to say that to me,” she whispered when she pulled back.

  “I know,” Matt said, his eyes lazy, half shut as he stared at her lips. Always at her lips. “I only ever say things I mean.”

  Lisa kissed him again and giggled when he pulled her arm and made her collapse on top of him. He felt like they were the only two people in the world when they were together.

  “Can we . . .” she started, sucking her bottom lip in beneath her top teeth.

  “All night long, over and over,” he muttered, arms enclosing her as he rolled them so he ended up above her, staring down at her, blowing a strand of hair off her face before closing his lips over hers.

  Matt skimmed a hand down her body, caressed even more softly down the inside of her thigh with his fingertips. Lisa had told her parents she was going camping with friends, a group of girls they’d never have expected her to lie about. He felt bad that she was lying for him, for them, but having a whole night with Lisa in the middle of nowhere? It was perfect.

  Lisa moaned when Matt’s mouth left hers and he trailed his lips down her neck, kissing her so slow and sweet, his lips damp as he brushed against her skin, teasing her when he went lower, circling his tongue, chuckling when she moaned again.

  “I could do this all night,” she whispered, circling her arms more tightly around him and locking her legs around his back, anchoring him against her.

  “We’re perfect for each other,” he muttered against her lips as he started to kiss her again. “Because I was just thinking that exact same thought.”