Barefoot

by Ruth Patterson

  Jen welcomed her without question and Toni retreated into the back of the lorry to dry off, while they waited for the vet to check over Polestar’s injury and declare him fit for travel. There was a backlog of cases needing his attention, though, and it was nearly dusk by the time they had the all clear, and both horses had their legs bandaged.

  Toni stayed huddled in the back of the lorry, so she didn’t have to chat to the two girls in the front. Chilled through from the rain and rigid with nerves, she couldn’t believe she had put down the phone on Arabella like that.

  Remembering Nola and Gramps, she groaned. It wasn’t just Arabella she had deserted. It was her grandparents, too. And it had all been for nothing in the end. She chewed her fingers nervously and tried not to imagine what sort of reception she was going to get.

  It was dark when they pulled into the yard and for a wild moment she fantasised her mother wouldn’t be there, that she would have taken Gramps and Nola out for a meal, allowing Toni to sneak into the house and avoid the inevitable confrontation.

  No chance.

  Arabella liked a fight. She always had. She materialised out of the dark as soon as Jen turned off the engine. As Toni jumped down the steep steps to the ground, she found her legs were shaking.

  Her mother stood there, with her arms folded. ‘So you decided to crawl back home.’

  Toni’s stomach clenched. ‘I’m sorry,’ she mumbled.

  ‘Oh, you’re sorry!’ Arabella spat. ‘Sorry. And do you think that’s enough?’

  Toni felt utterly defeated. ‘I don’t know what else I can do.’

  ‘You completely embarrassed me in front of your grandparents,’ Arabella hissed, her face close to her daughter’s now.

  Of course that was it. Not that she’d been worrying whether Toni was OK.

  Jen had dropped the ramp and was leading the injured mare out, letting her take her time. She avoided looking at either Toni or Arabella.

  ‘The lorry needs mucking out and the tack putting away,’ Arabella barked.

  ‘I’m on it,’ Jen replied defensively. After all these years she didn’t need telling her job.

  ‘Not you. I meant Antonia.’

  Jen looked from mother to daughter and seemed about to argue, then obviously thought better of it. She led the mare on into her stable instead.

  Toni picked up a poo scoop and walked up the ramp, trying to figure out a way of doing it one-handed. She wedged her foot behind the scoop, trying to keep it still enough to rake the poo in. But it was no use. It kept slipping. She tried again and again, managing by flicking in a little at a time. Her mother stood watching, impassively.

  Eventually the scoop was full, but then lifting it sent a pain shooting through her ribs. She paused and leant against the side of the lorry, to take a breath and ride the pain, while her mother still watched.

  ‘Here. I’ll take that.’ Jen came up the ramp and took the scoop from Toni.

  ‘It’s OK. I can manage,’ Toni protested quickly.

  ‘No, you can’t,’ Jen replied.

  ‘I asked Antonia to do it.’ Arabella’s voice was like steel. ‘If she says she can manage, she can.’

  Jen turned to face her. ‘Well, she shouldn’t have to. You can see she’s in pain.’

  Arabella’s eyes glinted in the half-shadow cast by the yard light.

  ‘Shit.’ Jen was appalled. ‘You actually want her to suffer, don’t you?’ She strode back down the ramp to empty the scoop into a wheelbarrow.

  ‘If I were you I’d put that down,’ Arabella warned, with menace in her voice now.

  ‘It’s my job and I’ll do it.’ Jen completely ignored her, and began to scrape more poo out of the back of the lorry.

  ‘It’s your call,’ Arabella snarled, ‘but let’s just be clear. As of now, you no longer work for me.’ She turned and limped heavily away.

  ‘That suits me just fine,’ Jen shouted after her. ‘Sadistic bitch,’ she muttered under her breath.

  Toni couldn’t believe what had just happened. ‘You didn’t have to do that,’ she said miserably.

  ‘Yes I did,’ Jen replied. ‘She crossed a line. Somebody needs to take a stand.’

  Twice in one day, Toni thought bleakly. Arabella was certain to get her own back somehow. She watched Jen clean every inch of the lorry until it was immaculate. ‘Why bother? She’s already sacked you.’

  ‘I’m not having her going around telling people I didn’t do my job.’

  Toni helped as much as she could, carrying in what tack she could manage, then crept into the house. The kitchen was in darkness. She stood there cautiously and listened. She could hear the sound of the TV in the sitting room. Nola and Gramps almost certainly. Her father was still away and there was a light under the door in Arabella’s study.

  Ben pushed his nose into her hand, making her jump, and she wondered if anyone had remembered to feed him. She tiptoed to the larder and dropped a handful of dog-food into his bowl anyway, offering some to Lily as well, but the old dog turned her head away. Toni reached for the cereal box for herself, but found it as empty as she felt.

  *************

  She woke up the next morning and lay there wishing she didn’t have to get up at all. In the yard she found a subdued Jen, loading the boot of her old white Fiesta. A large pile of miscellaneous tack was next to her, along with several tubs, filled with bits and pieces. She looked up as Toni approached. ‘Amazing how much crap I’ve got.’

  ‘You’re really going?’ Toni felt miserable. ‘It’s all my fault.’

  Jen shook her head. ‘Don’t sweat about it. It was time for a change anyway. I’ve been here too long.’

  Toni didn’t know whether to believe her or not. ‘What will you do?’

  ‘I’ll manage. People are always looking for good grooms.’ She paused. ‘I’ll miss the horses, though. Particularly Grace.’ She finished loading and stood up. ‘And you’ll have to find someone else to take you to see your boyfriend.’

  Toni shook her head. ‘I don’t think he’s going to want to see me again after yesterday. Not now he knows I’m a De Carteret.’

  ‘You never know what life will turn up.’ Jen opened the back door of the car and whistled to Dizzy, who hurtled over and jumped in. Toni wondered whether it would be OK to hug her, but Jen was already getting into the driving seat.

  ‘Keep the faith,’ she called and drove off, leaving Toni to go inside and face everyone.

  Gramps was sitting at the breakfast table, eating silently and radiating disapproval and disappointment. He’d travelled all the way from South Africa to watch his daughter’s horses being eliminated. No reflected glory there.

  Arabella drank her coffee, but ate nothing as usual.

  ‘Morning, Toni. Such a shame about the rain yesterday,’ Nola said brightly.

  Toni was grateful to her for making an effort, but she wasn’t about to sit down and join them. She was late for the bus anyway, so, grabbing a piece of bread and her schoolbag, she left quickly.

  Lauren had saved her a seat as usual and listened impatiently while Toni told her all about Jen being sacked.

  ‘That’s really tough.’ Lauren moved on quickly to what really interested her. ‘What happened? You didn’t reply to my texts and I didn’t like to call in case I interrupted something.’ She grinned. ‘Sooooo. How did it go? Did you get your guy?’

  ‘Not exactly…’

  Lauren frowned. ‘What do you mean?’

  Toni confessed. ‘He found out Arabella is my mother.’

  Lauren was puzzled. ‘What’s the big deal?’

  ‘He said it was like me being part of the Royal Family.’

  ‘Sounds like he’s got a pretty big chip on his shoulder to me.’

  ‘Then his mother warned me off, too.’

  ‘So what?’ Lauren never gave up easily. It was one of the things Toni loved about her. ‘Text him. Ask to meet up. What’s the worst that can happen?’

  ‘Complete humiliation.’ Toni
squirmed at the thought.

  ‘The way I see it, one of you has to back down,’ Lauren advised. ‘And guys have all that macho pride, so it’s going to have to be you.’

  Toni stared out of the bus window. Everything seemed grey and pointless.

  ‘I so don’t want to go home tonight.’

  ‘Don’t then,’ Lauren said immediately. ‘Come back to mine for a sleepover. We haven’t done that for ages.’

  Toni longed to say yes, but she shook her head. ‘It’ll only make things worse. Anyway, Dad should be back tonight, so I’ll have one ally at least.’

  ***** Eight *****

  Her father didn’t make it back for supper after all, leaving Toni to dig around in the freezer with Nola for a fish pie and some peas. Another meal passed in almost complete silence, though Toni could feel her mother’s eyes on her the whole time and dreaded whatever she was planning. As soon as she could, she claimed she had homework and went to her room.

  She couldn’t sleep at all. As the hours dragged by, she lay in the single bed, staring into the darkness. All she could think about was Cal.

  Running his fingers up her cast.

  Handling Rebel with that gentle touch.

  His look of horror when he found out Arabella was her mother.

  She reached across to the bedside table and fumbled for her phone in the dark. The screen lit up and she turned on her side, pulling her knees up to her chest, then scrolled through the texts from him.

  They were short and gave nothing away.

  Did that mean he felt nothing? Or was it just a boy thing. Like Lauren was always telling her. She rolled onto her back again and watched the screen fade to black, and stared into the darkness. Except it wasn’t dark, she realised. A faint glow lit up her room through a gap in the curtains. She activated her phone again to check the time.

  Just after three. Too early for dawn.

  Something didn’t feel right. She threw back the duvet and crept over to the window and opened the curtains. Just beyond the lower barn, she could see the flames rising.

  Oh my God! The barn was on fire.

  Toni knew she should do something, but found herself completely paralysed.

  An image of Grace crashed into her mind. Buster was safe in his field, but Grace was trapped in her stable. Along with all the other horses who came in at night.

  Toni catapulted across the room and flung open the bedroom door, screaming as she went.

  ‘Fire! Get up! Fire!’

  She shot into her parents’ bedroom, turning on the light as she went, and Arabella sat bolt upright immediately.

  ‘What the hell’s going on?’

  ‘It’s a fire. In the yard.’ She looked round frantically, but her mother was alone. ‘Dad. Where’s Dad?’

  Arabella was on her feet already. ‘He’s sleeping downstairs in the snug.’ She shoved Toni out of the way and headed for the stairs. ‘Stephen! Fire!’ she yelled as she half-stumbled down to the bottom, then limped heavily across the hall. ‘Stephen! Up now!’

  Her father appeared before Toni was even halfway down the stairs, his hair messy from sleep. Arabella had vanished.

  ‘Where?’ He rubbed his face, trying to wake properly.

  Toni shook her head. ‘I can’t tell. The lower barn, I think.’

  Her grandfather appeared at the head of the stairs, Nola behind him in her dressing gown. ‘Have you called the fire brigade?’

  She shook her head again.

  ‘Do it, darling. Now,’ her father kissed her briefly. ‘And stay safe inside. I mean it.’ He disappeared too, leaving her alone.

  Toni found she was still gripping her phone tightly. She punched in the emergency number, and they answered immediately. She crossed the kitchen as she gave the operator directions, then rang off and stood by the open back door. Her father had told her to stay inside, but the image of Grace sprang into her mind again and she knew she had to help her.

  She stepped outside into chaos. There was no Jen and only Beth, the temporary groom, to help. Toni could hear Arabella barking orders to her.

  ‘It’s no good leading them one-by-one. We haven’t got time.’

  The smoke was swirling round the yard now. Toni had difficulty seeing her mother, but she headed in the direction of her voice.

  ‘One of you get down and open the gate to the fifty-acre,’ Arabella yelled. ‘We’re going to have to herd them down the track.’

  Where are the flames coming from?

  Smoke was spreading and the horses were beginning to whinny in fear, the sounds of their shod hooves on the concrete stable floors building up to a cacophony.

  Grace. I have to get Grace.

  She could see the source of the fire now and was overcome with relief to realise it was a horse lorry. Not the barn. Only a lorry, she thought with relief. A hunk of metal.

  No, wait. Two lorries.

  With shock she realised both vehicles were burning.

  She could hear the fire engines approaching in the distance. This was no accident. The thought penetrated the fog of her fear.

  And then another.

  The lorries were too close to the barns for comfort. The buildings were clad in wood and filled with straw and shavings. They could go up in flames at any time. Arabella was nowhere to be seen, the expensive event horses clearly her priority.

  Toni’s fear escalated again. She had to get to Grace.

  ‘I said stay indoors.’ Her father appeared at her side.

  ‘I need to get Grace out. I can’t leave her, Dad,’ she pleaded with him.

  He looked at the flames, assessing the danger. ‘We can’t risk going in the front. Stick close to me.’ He led her round the back of the barn to a door rarely opened, and shoved it with his shoulder several times, but it didn’t budge.

  ‘Looks like it’s locked from the inside?’

  Toni shook her head. ‘We never lock that one.’

  He tried shoving the door again, then stood back and began to kick it instead.

  The horses inside were getting more and more distressed, smelling the smoke, transmitting their fear from one to another. The fire engines sounded really close now, approaching down the long drive.

  The door gave way without warning, and her father half fell into the barn, Toni following close behind. She fumbled for the light switch and the fluorescents flickered to life. Grace was prancing round the stable, eyes rolling.

  Toni threw back the bolt on the stable door. ‘It’s OK girl, it’s going to be OK.’ She tried to soothe the mare, but Grace instantly backed into the far corner, half-crazy with terror. She threw her head up again and again, making it impossible to get her head collar on. ‘Please Grace. You have to let me get you out,’ Toni found herself sobbing. Her father tried to help corner the mare, but it was simply no use. Grace wouldn’t let them near her head.

  ‘I think you just need to let her loose, Toni,’ he urged.

  She stood for a moment, filled with the agony of indecision, then heard shouts from the other end of the barn and saw Beth and Arabella. For once she was thrilled to see her mother.

  ‘I can’t get Grace’s head collar on,’ she shouted.

  ‘Then don’t bother.’ For one horrified moment Toni thought she was suggesting leaving Grace.

  ‘We’re herding them down the track,’ Arabella yelled, as she limped from stable to stable, opening doors and using a lunge whip to encourage the horses. ‘Just let her go, Toni.’

  Toni wavered. Grace could be badly injured in the stampede. But worse could happen if she stayed.

  ‘You’ve got to do it.’ Her father’s urgent voice decided her. She dropped the head collar and stood aside from the doorway. Grace didn’t hesitate. She shot out of the stable, passed Arabella and disappeared, hard at the hooves of the other horses without a backward glance.

  ‘She’ll be fine. Honestly,’ her father tried to reassure her, putting an arm round her shoulder. ‘Come on, love,’ he urged. ‘We need to get out of here. Now!�
��

  She nodded, letting him lead her out of the barn to safety.

  ************

  The sun finally rose, but it was a dismal dawn. A grey mist hung low over the paddocks and around the still-smoking, blackened horse lorries.