Land of My Dreams

by Norma Gail

  She glanced toward Janet, who was standing out of earshot. “I saw no reason to excite her. She believes we’re kindred spirits. It was important to her for us to get acquainted.” As she had noticed the other night, crinkly lines started at the corners of his eyes whenever he smiled.

  “I agree.” His tone was conspiratorial and his laugh contagious. “I enjoy making her happy, so we’ll play along for her sake, aye?”

  “You mean say nothing?” Bonny asked with a sudden, delicious sense of conspiracy.

  His answering smile filled her with warmth, a mixed sense of attraction and being found attractive. “Let her enjoy it. Once I finish in Edinburgh, we’ll go to dinner. In the meantime, we don’t need rumors starting. It’s a small town and an even smaller school.”

  Bonny nodded, stifling a giggle as Janet returned with their sandwiches. It was fun pretending to get acquainted. She became more enthralled with everything he said. Her initial judgment had been so wrong. He was a man of strong character. When he excused himself for rehearsal, she found herself daydreaming about the plaintive beauty of his bagpipes, sounding from the torch-lit parapets. Tiny electric shocks twizzled up and down her spine; she hoped her expression didn’t hint at her secret.

  The Royal Mile was teeming with tourists. Bonny and Janet almost needed to hold onto one another to keep from becoming separated. As they made their way between Edinburgh Castle and Holyrood Palace, Janet caught her breath and sidestepped into an open doorway, dragging Bonny with her.

  Sensing her fear, Bonny moved in close behind her. “What’s wrong?”

  “The dark-haired man across the street—it’s my ex-husband, Sean. Stay behind me.” Janet’s voice quivered.

  “He’s crossing the street toward us.”

  Her eyes grew wide with fear, and she clutched at Bonny’s arm. “Don’t leave us alone. Please.”

  He crossed the street, shouting a greeting. It wasn’t difficult to imagine him sweeping a woman off her feet. His dark good looks were appealing, but Bonny knew from experience to look below the surface.

  “Awrite, Janet, imagine seein’ you back in your old territory. Hou are ye?” He laid his hand on her shoulder, and she shook it off, her face reddening with anger, her eyes flashing.

  “I’ve told you to act as if you don’t know me.”

  “Ach, Janet, I didn’t plan it. Can’t I ask how you’re doin’? We were close once, aye?”

  “Aye, close—you call marriage close?” Janet’s blue eyes turned to steel, her voice harsh. “You have a strange way of showin’ you care. If you ever see me, I’d appreciate you pretending we’re strangers.”

  “Have it your own way.” He shrugged and marched back across the street, shaking his head. Janet turned her back, biting her upper lip.

  They returned to the hotel in silence, where Janet disappeared into the shower while Bonny pretended not to hear the sobs. She had her own dilemma, another voicemail from Adam. She took a deep breath and listened, then rubbed her throat, attempting to eliminate the tight feeling his voice evoked.

  “Hi, Bon, I hoped you might answer. I don’t have words to say how sorry I am for hurting you. Vanessa is out of my life. I still love you. What I did was selfish and I understand you not wanting to talk to me, but I want you back. Please call me?”

  She deleted the voicemail, and then turned out the light, facing the wall, unable to hide her disquiet.

  All night long, Bonny heard Janet tossing and turning. When she came out of the shower the next morning, Janet sat reading her Bible.

  Janet had drawn closer to God in her sorrow and pain while she had turned her back on Him. Janet leaned on God—she had nothing.

  Chapter Six: Kari and Dan

  As much as she hated to admit it, Bonny was avoiding her best friend. She and Kari had been there for each other, in good times and bad, since they were fifteen, sharing everything from Kari’s struggles to overcome years in foster care, to breakups with boyfriends. But, the miles between them made it easy to neglect problems Kari reminded her of.

  Bonny’s delight in Kari marrying her own lifelong friend Dan was still tinged with the grief of her own broken engagement. She was supposed to have married first. Watching her friends prepare for their wedding raised the specter of her own shattered dreams, both menacing and crippling.

  Following the trip to Edinburgh, Bonny called home for only the second time since arriving in Scotland. “This is potentially the highlight of my teaching career, Kari. My classes are filling up. It’s exciting.”

  “I’m glad you’re doing all right,” Kari said. “I’m so lonely with you and Dan both away. Since he’s been in Afghanistan, it’s easy to imagine the worst. I miss my fiancé and my best girlfriend.”

  “I’m sorry. You’ve been with me through so much.”

  Kari sighed. “I hope you find what you’re searching for, Bonny.”

  “It’s a challenge learning how they do things here, but Janet’s showing me around. I take long walks in dozens of lovely places. I’m glad I came.”

  “Please, remember your way home.”

  The sound of Kari’s loneliness tightened a cord around Bonny’s heart. “I miss home, but for now, this is a good place for me. What do you hear from Dan?”

  Kari hiccupped, a sure sign she was crying. “He’s fine. He hates it there, but I keep him caught up on the wedding plans.”

  She heard the resignation in Kari’s voice and realized her own selfish mindset was hurting her friend. “He’ll be fine. Our Danny Boy will come home to his gorgeous fiancée, and we’ll all be together again.”

  “You’re right. Hey, I have another call. I don’t want to miss him. Good-bye.”

  “I love you, dear friend. Bye, now.” Bonny believed her choice to come to Scotland was a wise one, but she still felt a sense of guilt for leaving Kari to plan a wedding without her.

  Dan MacDermott reached into his bag and pulled out another soccer ball, patting the round-eyed little boy on the head as he handed it to him. Everything in Afghanistan was the same color—the color of the dirt that sifted through the fabric of the tents and coated his skin. If all the good he could do was to bring joy to a child, he had to be satisfied. Bigger accomplishments were up to God.

  “Will you look at him?” Dan nudged his best friend, Major Jeff Phillips. “I’ll remember his smile when I feel as if the fighting will last forever. Average people over here are faceless to the folks back home. The public doesn’t see how we reach out to the locals. When a child approaches me without fear and runs away with a big grin, the whole world feels happier. I didn’t know about this part when I signed up for the Marine Corps.”

  Jeff clapped him on the back. “One good day makes up for a lot of bad ones, right?”

  “You bet.”

  They stood on a spot of flat ground just outside a village of clay huts. How did people manage to sustain themselves in a place like this? Glancing around, he didn’t see any signs of industry or business, nothing except some parched-looking plants in what appeared to be a garden.

  Jeff pointed to the happy kids surrounding a group of Marines. “Hey, let’s join them.”

  Whoops and yells came from the sun-scorched field. A couple of the guys had started a soccer game—kids and Marines divided between the teams. Laughing and howling, they kicked the ball and slid in the dirt, no one keeping score. For a while, everyone was happy.

  After handing out candy and gum, along with fresh fruit and sandwiches, the Marines packed up to return to the base.

  When Dan climbed back into their Humvee, he felt the happiest he had since he arrived in the war zone. “This makes the madness disappear, even if it’s only one afternoon.”

  “Keep your goals small, buddy,” Jeff answered. “If you want to see great things, you’ll only be disappointed.”

  Arriving on the base meant back to business as usual, but the afternoon’s interlude provided a needed break in the nightmare called Afghanistan. A letter from Kari waited on hi
s bunk, and when he opened it, he found pictures of her and both of their mothers planning for the wedding. She hadn’t e-mailed them, knowing he loved to carry pictures in his pockets. She included sample menus for the wedding reception and a picture of his sister in her bridesmaid’s dress.

  He pulled the phone card from the Blue Star Moms out of his pocket. This precious bit of free time was the perfect chance to phone her. “Hey, gorgeous, your letter and pictures came today. Thank you, and thanks for including my mom and sis in your planning. Wow, I miss you.”

  “It’s good to hear your voice. I miss you too. I talked to Bonny right before you called.”

  There was a little quiver in her voice, and a muffled sound as if she was clearing her throat.

  “How is our adventurer?” He laughed.

  “Don’t laugh, Dan. I hate to admit it, but I feel jealous when she describes the fun she’s having with her new friend, Janet.” She hiccupped the way she always did when she cried.

  Dan sighed, drumming his fingers on the desk. Home was a long way away, and it seemed twice as far when the love of his life was upset. It was frustrating to be one of the sources of her sadness. “We’ve discussed this, honey. Remember, she’s running away from our wedding. It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with Adam.”

  “I’ll try.” She sniffled. “What’s happening over there?”

  “I wish every day was like this. We played soccer with the local kids and handed out candy, soccer balls, and dolls for the girls. Keep everyone sending stuff. I’ll e-mail you the pictures.”

  “If I can pass around photos, it helps. My students love them. Have you read over the menus for the reception yet?” Her tone lightened up a little.

  It was nice to have something good to tell her. “No, but Mom sent a package with jerky, underwear, red licorice, and dehydrated green-chili stew. It reminded me of the miles between us, and I wanted to hear your voice.”

  “Describe the kids for me.”

  He laughed at the afternoon’s memory. He had made mental notes of the details that would make his middle-school-teacher fiancée smile. “This one little guy was really cute. He was smaller than the others but unafraid. When I handed him a soccer ball, he took off, happy and smiling. Kids are the same everywhere. It’s a morale booster.”

  “I’m glad something fun happened for a change.” Her voice broke, and he took a deep breath and cleared his throat, trying to control his own emotions.

  “Yeah, we had a soccer game—kids and Marines together. We laughed and slid in the dirt. It felt super.”

  “You sound cheerful. I can’t wait until you’re home and we’re together.” Her voice was quiet and hollow-sounding, and the sound of her loneliness passed through him like a chill, in spite of the hundred-plus temperatures. It reminded him of basic training, when he was away from home the first time. He hated doing this to her. As soon as this tour was over, he would be out of the Marine Corps and home for good.

  He motioned to the corporal, who approached him, holding out a note. “Hey, honey, I need to talk to the colonel.”

  Kari sighed. “Semper Fi, Marine. Duty calls. I love you.”

  He hated it when she cried, and wiped away a tear or two of his own. “I love you too. Don’t worry, okay? I’ll be home in six months.”

  He walked over to the command tent, thinking about the smiling kids. If that’s all I accomplish today, Lord, let it be enough.

  Half an hour later, Dan lounged on his bunk, remembering his conversation with Kari and thinking how blessed he was to be able to go home someday. The people who lived here had no way to escape. Praying for them and doing his job were the only things he could do.

  “Hey, Mac,” said a cheery voice behind him. “What’s in the care package?”

  “My favorite goodies.” Dan looked up from the letter he was re-reading and tossed some jerky and licorice toward Jeff. “There’s also dehydrated green-chili stew. I’ll share if you behave yourself.”

  His Bible lay on the bunk, and Jeff picked it up. “You don’t miss a day, do you?”

  “I read from Proverbs every day. It helps me advise my men, changes my attitude, and helps me handle interactions with the locals. My words and reactions are more like Jesus’.”

  “Maybe I should try it. What’s the other book?” Jeff reached for a paperback lying next to the Bible.

  “A Bible study Kari and I are doing on marriage. We do our lessons alone, then once a week we discuss our answers by phone or instant messaging.” Dan handed Jeff the pictures Kari sent.

  “Whoo, you’re one lucky man, MacDermott. Didn’t you finish your premarital counseling before you deployed?” He shuffled through the pictures and handed them back.

  “We did.” Putting down his pen, he turned toward Jeff. “This helps us stay in touch on a spiritual level. It’s opened up opportunities for us to explore subjects we might ignore with me over here.”

  “I envy you, bud.”

  “A jewel like Kari is worth waiting for.”

  “Yeah, you’re right. I wonder if something like that might have saved my marriage. She couldn’t take it when I deployed to Iraq. Left me for a cop.”

  Dan sat up straight, giving Jeff his full attention. “You never told me what happened before. That’s rough.”

  “Yeah, I went to church when I was little. My dad was a preacher’s kid, but he left my mom for a woman in the choir. My mom had no use for church after that. I went in the summer when I visited my grandmother, but that was all.”

  Dan made an effort to keep his voice calm. Perhaps this was the opportunity he’d been waiting for. “I learned about a relationship with Jesus at a Young Life meeting in high school. I was in Sunday school all the time, but hearing it from someone my own age made a big difference. Seeing the class bully change before my eyes made me want what he had.”

  Jeff reached over and snagged a piece of jerky. “If I was ever going to look into religion again, it would be because of you. You live your faith like no one I’ve ever seen before.”

  “I’d be happy to share my story with you.” Dan shot up an arrow prayer that this might be the time.

  “Maybe someday,” Jeff reached for another stick of licorice, standing as he did. “I’ve got a report to write. See you later.”

  “Yeah, see you later.”

  Dan dropped to his knees beside his cot. Prayer helped him focus on God, rather than the unknowns of tomorrow. It had been a good day. He’d made a child smile and there was a possibility he would be able to talk to Jeff about the Lord sometime soon.

  Chapter Seven: Views of Loch Linnhe

  A thrill tingled its way up Bonny’s spine as they entered the dining room at the Highland Hotel. Wide windows provided a stunning view of the sun setting in a blaze of color over Loch Linnhe, reminding her of the evening she and Kieran walked down to the shore together. He hadn’t phoned like he said he would in Edinburgh, and she hoped to see him at the faculty party.

  As Janet promised, the room was noisy and full of people. The women were radiant in evening gowns, sparkling with sequins and beads. The male professors in their kilts were as bright as peacocks showing off their plumage.

  Round tables covered in snow-white linen were set with sparkling silver and crystal, complementing the luster of gold-rimmed china and bright blue napkins. Bonny followed Janet around, hoping to remember the names while keeping an eye out for the handsome Highlander.

  “I arranged to be seated with you all evening, even though we’ll change tables after every course,” Janet said as they laid their purses and wraps at their first table and headed for the hors d’oeuvres. Even in August, the damp, cool Scottish evenings made a warm wrap necessary.

  “I don’t know how I would survive without you,” Bonny said. “I’m glad Uncle Dùghlas asked you to help me acclimate.”

  As they approached the crowd of faculty members, Janet whispered, “Heads are turning. You’re beautiful.”

  Bonny laughed, her eyes
still searching. “You’re imagining it. They’re curious about the American professor, nothing else.”

  “You’re aff yer heid. It’s a true Highland beauty you look in soft green with your red hair.”

  “Bonny,” Uncle Dùghlas separated himself from a group of people, coming to kiss her on the cheek. “You’re stunning.”

  “Thank you.” She supposed the floor-length dress of shimmering satin did bring out the color of her eyes and the blush in her cheeks. Thanks to the efforts of Janet’s mom, Agnes, her hair cascaded down her bare back in coppery ringlets.

  “I haven’t seen near as much of you as I would like. Are you acclimating?”

  Bonny thought the bold red and green Cameron tartan kilt made him look shorter and stockier than usual. “I’m doing well, thanks to Janet. I love it here.”

  “Hello there, Bonny, Janet.” Aunt Mairi stopped next to her husband. “Are you ready for classes to begin?”

  “I can’t wait.” Bonny hugged her, then stood back and looked at her dress of Cameron tartan. “You look lovely, Aunt Mairi.”

  “Thank you. Dùghlas, the head waiter has a question for you.” With a nod, they excused themselves and headed off to see to details.

  Moving through the crowd toward their first table, Janet introduced her to everyone.

  She kept searching for Kieran, sighing with pleasure when he entered right after they were seated at the second table. He flashed a smile and headed for his assigned place.

  “The main course is the longest sitting of the evening,” Janet said as she led Bonny toward their third table a little later.

  “I’m already full. If I keep eating, my dress won’t fit.” Janet eyed her, laying one hand on her shoulder. “As we say, dinnae fash yerself. Don’t worry about it. What size are you anyway?”

  “A four at home, whatever that equals here.”

  “Small enough not to worry about it.” Janet shook her head in mock irritation. “The sight of fresh broiled salmon and thick Scottish Aberdeen-Angus steaks will change your mind.” Waiters in tuxedos were carrying in trays laden with plates of two of Scotland’s specialties.