From Duty to Daddy

by Sue MacKay

  ‘How’re you doing?’ she asked quietly.

  ‘Like I’m not on holiday.’ He flicked a grim smile. ‘I thought you said Taupo was a quiet place.’

  ‘Yeah, well, usually.’ She looked across at the wreckage and shuddered. The impact had concertinaed the plane to a fraction of its original length. ‘I’ve got to go with my patient.’ Glancing across, she saw the ambulance crew loading the stretcher into the helicopter.

  His mouth tightened. ‘How will you get back from wherever you’re going?’

  ‘The pilot will wait while I hand over. I’ll be away two hours max.’ She glanced at her watch and her skin turned to ice. Two hours and Marshall would be gone. They still had so much to talk about. She hadn’t even got his contact details. Her teeth dug into her bottom lip as she stood up on surprisingly shaky legs.

  ‘Charlie.’ Joseph tapped her on the shoulder. ‘Your flight’s about to lift off.’

  ‘I refuse to say goodbye, Marshall. Please call me as soon as you get back to the States.’ Kissing her fingers, she touched Marshal’s cheek and turned and ran fast. Towards the patient who needed all her skills, away from the man who owned her heart. Would she ever see him again?

  *

  Marshall drove carefully on State Highway One towards Auckland and his flight back to the States. He had covered nearly half the distance, and with every kilometre his heart grew heavier. He was leaving something very special behind. A wonderful family who’d welcomed him with open arms.

  Hell, working together on those casualties had been like old times. Charlie’s skills had improved no end despite not working in emergency medicine. Her confidence had grown a lot over the years.

  Mindful of which side of the road he was on, he tried not to think about Charlie and their abrupt parting. Despite being used to the suddenness of changing circumstances in combat zones, he had not been prepared for the sudden departure of Charlie from his life only hours ago.

  It was little more than twenty-four hours since he’d seen her for the first time in a long time. It had been like finding someone he hadn’t known he’d lost until that moment—his other half. They’d fitted together instantly. There’d been no real awkwardness after the first few minutes. Not even the shock of learning about Aimee had driven a wedge between them or made him want to get away—except for a few brief, confused minutes.

  Yet now he was on his way, leaving this country and his daughter and Charlie. Charlotte Lang. Her image had tormented him for years, colouring his dreams, unsettling his long-held beliefs. He’d truly thought he could come over here, spend a little time with her and walk away completely over what ailed him.

  The oath that shot out of his mouth shocked even him, seasoned soldier that he was. He’d been a fool. Rod had warned him time and again that he was hooked but he’d disputed that, saying it wasn’t possible to fall in love in two weeks. How could he love a woman he didn’t know anything about apart from her stunning body and its fantastic reactions to his lovemaking?

  But none of that mattered. He had to go. That’s what he did, had always done. Moved on. It had never been a problem before. He’d never cared before. He had men depending on him back home so between here and Auckland he needed to pull on his army persona and start acting like the competent officer he was. He could definitely not behave like some lovelorn fool who was leaving behind the most wonderful woman he’d ever met and the sweet little girl he’d fathered. The only way to get through life without hurting others was to remain alone.

  Hamilton. The road sign indicated he should carry on straight ahead.

  Auckland. Turn right to bypass the city.

  Marshall indicated a right-hand turn. He didn’t need the delays that driving through a city would bring.

  You didn’t find out why deep sadness unexpectedly sneaked into Charlie’s eyes at times.

  Yeah, buddy, I hear you. Unfortunately it didn’t work out. That plane crash took care of the last few hours I had with her.

  Don’t you want to know? Or is running away preferable to what Charlie might tell you?

  Stop mucking with my head. I’ve got to concentrate on driving. These Kiwis aren’t very forgiving motorists.

  Excuses, excuses.

  He wasn’t running away. He didn’t do that. The SUV slowed. He glanced at the dials on the dashboard. All normal. What was happening? He pressed down on the accelerator and the vehicle surged forward and maintained a steady one hundred kilometres an hour. Idiot. Why had he lifted his foot off the pedal? Slowing his departure?

  The soft sensation he’d felt when Charlie had brushed her kissed fingertips over his cheek drifted through his mind. Charlie. They’d shared two kisses in these past hours. Kisses filled with hunger, longing, caring. Kisses that had held so much promise.

  Pulling to the side of the road, he switched the engine off. He couldn’t drive and deal with all this stuff going on in his head at the same time. So if he wasn’t running, why leave? No one had ordered him to head back to Kansas today. The army had called and he’d jumped. A habit formed from following orders for too long. Orders designed to save a man’s life in combat. Orders that took serious decision-making away if a man let it.

  As you have.

  ‘Damn it, Rod, can’t you go and annoy someone else?’ He slapped the steering-wheel. If he turned round and went back to Charlie, would she read too much into it? Expect more of him than he was prepared to give? His gut churned as fear of getting too involved reared up.

  Reaching for the ignition, he hesitated. Withdrew his hand. Asked himself a scary question. ‘What do I want to do? If I was free of the army, would I go back to Charlie without a thought?’

  Hard to imagine being free of the army when it had been more of a family to him than his folks had. But it was an impersonal, unloving institution. This wasn’t about getting out, only about returning to Charlie for a few more days.

  Family. The word evoked things he’d missed out on and the hidden dreams that one day his parents might’ve remembered to acknowledge they’d had a son they loved. He’d spent his childhood trying to be noticed for the right reasons, but some things just didn’t work out in life, no matter how hard a guy tried.

  You could try to change. Make the most of this opportunity.

  Opportunity. That was one word for what waited for him in Taupo. Commitment was another. Could he commit to being in Charlie and Aimee’s lives from a distance? Stay safe for them? He wasn’t going to know unless he tried. His hand wasn’t as steady as it normally was when he reached for the ignition this time. A vision of Charlie filtered into his mind. She’d been awesome, the way she hadn’t demanded anything of him for Aimee.

  But it was her steady blue gaze that really got to him. Full of understanding, need and sadness. Occasionally tinged with laughter and something that shot straight to his heart and grabbed it. Love? Did Charlie love him? Not likely. But maybe she cared a lot about him. That was something he wasn’t used to.

  The engine turned over and he flicked on the indicator. When a break came in the traffic Marshall made a U-turn.

  He wasn’t finished with Charlie Lang. Not by a long shot.

  *

  Dad stuffed the trout with lemon zest and garlic then wrapped it in foil. ‘That’ll go on the barbecue shortly. Want a salad with it?’

  Charlie nodded. ‘Sure.’ Like she cared. She doubted she’d taste a thing. Marshall had gone. At least he’d left an email address so she could contact him. Considering how much effort she’d put into trying to find an address, she should be grateful. She wasn’t. Not at all. They hadn’t talked through anything to do with Aimee. They hadn’t talked at all.

  ‘Charlotte.’ Dad sat down at the kitchen table beside her.

  When he called her Charlotte she knew she should listen, but today she didn’t want to. What could Dad say that would make her feel any better? Raising one eyebrow, she grimaced.

  ‘He promised me he wouldn’t hurt you or Aimee.’

  ‘Goes to s
how how much his promises mean, doesn’t it?’ She shoved her chair back and went to get a glass of water.

  ‘I believed him. Still do. It wasn’t Marshall’s fault his flight was brought forward or that you had to fly to Waikato Hospital with your patient. Give him a break, love.’

  Leaning back against the bench, she studied the inside of her glass. ‘I can do that. But can I expect to see him again? I haven’t told him everything. He needs to know why it’s important he stays in touch.’ She shouldn’t have avoided the issue when she’d had the chance during their walk into town. But it had seemed too soon, a huge information dump when he had still been coming to terms with Aimee’s existence.

  ‘I don’t believe you’ve seen or heard the last of him.’

  ‘I only hope you’re right.’ She poured the water down her throat, hoping her father didn’t see the threatening tears at the corners of her eyes. She’d stupidly admitted to herself that she loved Marshall and now she had to somehow forget that and get on with her life. The first time she’d done it, it had been hard enough. This time felt infinitely worse. They shared a child now. ‘I’ll take Aimee out to her paddling pool.’ And try to gain some semblance of control over these feelings of despair.

  Aimee loved water. So much so it worried Charlie at times. Smacking the water so that it splashed everywhere made Aimee burst into shrieks of laughter. Despite her mood, Charlie couldn’t help smiling at her girl. ‘Go for it, sweetheart.’ She eased herself onto a garden chair by the small plastic pool.

  ‘She’s a water baby, just like her mom,’ drawled a familiar American accent.

  She shot off the chair so fast she tripped and would’ve fallen on her butt if Marshall hadn’t caught her.

  He laughed and said, ‘You’re obviously glad to see me.’ And then he kissed her. Thoroughly. So that her muscles and bones liquefied. So that she forgot everything except the man whose arms were holding her upright, whose hard, lean body supported her. A bubble of desire and need and love rolled up her throat and burst across her lips to be caught in his mouth.

  He pulled his mouth away enough to utter, ‘God, Charlie, I’ve missed you,’ and then went back to kissing her.

  He’d missed her? Yes. A mental fist went up in the air. For more than two years? Or a few hours? Whatever. He was back. For how long? Did it matter when he’d made the effort to return? She slid her hands behind his neck and held on for all she was worth.

  ‘Guess I should be getting the beers,’ Dad growled from somewhere behind them.

  Marshall slowly lifted his head, withdrawing that delicious mouth as though reluctant to stop kissing her. ‘Yes, sir, that would be great.’ And then he kissed her again, a quick kiss on her lips before putting her down on her feet. ‘I like your dad.’

  Dad probably felt a teeny bit smug right now, with Marshall’s sudden reappearance. She asked, ‘How far did you get?’

  ‘The turn-off for Auckland outside Hamilton.’

  ‘What happened? Did your flight get changed again?’

  He took her hand and tugged her across to the lounger on the veranda where he sat and lifted her onto his lap, holding her there with an arm around her waist. He needn’t have worried. She wasn’t going anywhere.

  ‘I bailed. Told the guys I’ll find my own way back to the States later. If it’s all right with you, I’d like to hang around and get to know my daughter.’ Then he added, ‘Actually, I’d like to get to know her mom even better.’

  Warmth flooded her. Yes, this was what she’d hoped for. ‘You can stay here.’ He would, wouldn’t he? It made sense.

  His eyes narrowed. ‘Are you sure that’s a good idea? Hadn’t you better check with Brendon first?’

  ‘Check what with me?’ Dad asked as he strolled out, two beers in one hand.

  ‘Marshall’s staying for two weeks and I said he could bunk down here.’

  ‘I should think so.’ Then he added, ‘But don’t let us pressure you, lad. You might find you want time to yourself.’

  ‘Then I’ll go for a run, or have a beer at the hotel. Thank you both. That’s settled.’

  Marshall had returned. That’s all Charlie knew. And she was happy to accept that, to enjoy his company. At least she had time up her sleeve now. She could afford to give him some space. As long as they didn’t share too many of those hot kisses. Otherwise all her good intentions would combust.

  Now, there was a thought. Her smile felt smug even to her.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  MONDAY MORNING AND the bedside alarm screeched into Charlie’s sleep-soaked brain. Six o’clock. She jerked upright. Something wasn’t right. Again Aimee hadn’t woken her. She used the alarm clock as back-up.

  Leaping out of bed, she threw her robe around her shoulders as she raced down the hall to Aimee’s bedroom. What had happened? Was she okay? Her heart thudded hard against her ribs as she ran into the bedroom. She pulled up in a hurry. Aimee’s cot was empty.

  That had to be good. Didn’t it? Had Marshall got Aimee up again? Back out in the hall Charlie strode fast to the kitchen. And slammed to a stop in the doorway.

  Dressed in running shorts and a tight tee shirt, Marshall sat at the table with a mug of what looked like black coffee in one hand. Aimee bounced on his knee, held firmly in place with his other hand. The smile beaming out at Aimee from her father stopped Charlie’s heart. Filled with awe and happiness and care—or was that love?—his mouth curved into the sweetest smile she’d ever seen and his eyes glowed with emotion. He really had no problem accepting Aimee was his child. He’d embraced the concept, not once questioning if she was sure.

  She opened her mouth to say something but the words stuck in her throat. Never in all the months of searching for this man had she believed he’d fall for his daughter so easily, so quickly.

  ‘Look who’s woken up.’ Marshall spoke to Aimee but his eyes had focused on Charlie. ‘Aimee was a wee bit grizzly so I figured it would be okay to get her up. But by the look on your face, I guess I did wrong.’

  ‘Not at all.’ She drew breath to get her emotions under control. No point giving him any clues as to how she felt about him yet. If ever. Now he was getting the hang of being a parent he might start thinking of wanting more kids, which would lead to even more problems. Her heart squeezed. She’d love more of Marshall’s babies. Gulp. Concentrate on what they were talking about, not the impossible.

  On an indrawn breath she said, ‘Aimee usually wakes me up, so when the alarm went off I thought something had happened to her.’ Her mild panic sounded stupid, even over the top, now. Trying for a nonchalant shrug, she crossed to the hot kettle and flicked the switch to make tea. Then she plopped a kiss on Aimee’s grinning face. ‘Morning, sweetheart.’

  ‘Do I get one?’

  ‘Sure.’ She leaned closer, kissed Marshall’s stubbly chin. ‘Morning.’

  The hand that had been holding his mug now gripped her arm and held her in place while his mouth reached for hers. ‘We can do better than that.’ And then he was kissing her. Again. This was getting to be a habit. A habit she enjoyed.

  Aimee grabbed a handful of Charlie’s hair and pulled hard. ‘Mum, mum.’

  ‘Ouch.’ She stepped back a pace. ‘Careful, little one. Mummy’s head hurts when you do that.’ Her scalp had been tender since the day her hair had fallen out due to the chemo. Blinking rapidly, she turned away from Marshall’s all-seeing gaze and concentrated on making tea.

  When she sat at the table with her drink, she’d got her emotions in order again. ‘You’re an early riser,’ she commented to Marshall.

  ‘Like to go for a run before it gets too hot.’ He jiggled Aimee on his knees and was rewarded with giggles. ‘But I got sidetracked this morning.’

  ‘I can understand that. She’s always been a great time-waster. But if you want to go out you can put her down. We’ll be showering as soon as I’ve had my tea. Aimee usually joins me.’ It was the fastest and easiest way to get her girl washed.

  Marshall’s f
ace lit up. ‘A family affair.’

  Her cheeks heated up. ‘You needn’t think you’re joining us.’

  He scowled exaggeratedly and held a hand over his heart. ‘Ow, she wounds so easily.’

  ‘Go on with you. I’m still getting used to you being here. I’m certainly not ready for anything more intimate yet.’

  ‘Yet? So there’s a possibility? If I behave?’ His grin turned wicked. As did the glint in his eyes.

  ‘You don’t know how to behave.’

  ‘Is that so? Talk about a challenge.’ His grin only widened. Any further and he was in danger of splitting the corners of that delectable mouth she so enjoyed kissing.

  ‘Go for your run. I haven’t got time to sit around talking nonsense at this hour of the day. I’ve got to get ready for work.’

  He wiggled his eyebrows at her. ‘Nonsense? Did you hear that, Aimee? Your mom’s a hard woman. Take it from me.’ Then his face settled back to near normal. ‘Have you got time to join me on the run?’

  Yes, she did but was she up to it? ‘I’ll be too slow.’

  ‘Let’s give it a shot. We can turn back any time you’ve had enough.’ Definitely a challenge twinkling out at her.

  In the past she’d have taken him up on it, but now, after everything she’d been through? ‘I’ll be turning back. You can keep pounding the pavement for your usual time. I’ll tell Dad.’

  ‘What time do you leave for work?’

  ‘A little after eight. Aimee goes with me. We’ve got a crèche at the centre for staff families, as well as for patients’ children so they can have a more relaxed consultation.’

  ‘Exactly how little after eight?’

  She shrugged. ‘Five, ten minutes, maybe more. I go when I’m ready.’

  Annoyance battled with bewilderment in his face. ‘What time do you start work, then?’

  ‘When I get there.’ She chuckled as it dawned on her what Marshall’s problem was. ‘At the medical centre we aren’t regimented. It’s not a standing order to arrive exactly at eight-thirty. As long as we’re there on time for our first appointments at nine no one has any concerns. I like to spend half an hour or so looking up test results that have come in overnight, check who I’m seeing and going over their medical histories. But if I don’t have time before the day gets under way it’s not the end of the world. I do those things as I go.’ Draining her mug, she stood and reached for Aimee. ‘Come on, little one. Let’s find Granddad.’