From Duty to Daddy

by Sue MacKay

  Carefully, quietly, she slipped out of bed and removed her dress. Thought briefly about pulling on a negligee, decided against it. The black lace panties and matching bra she wore were about as sexy as it was possible for her to get. The stretch marks on her breasts and belly gave her a moment of panic. The scar from her hysterectomy stood out, ugly against her pale skin. He’d notice, want an explanation. A sure passion-killer.

  Tonight was not the time to tell him about that. A smear of make-up might help and she could turn the light off as soon as they were in bed.

  Moments later she tiptoed across the room and knelt between Marshall’s legs, her breath catching in her throat as she marvelled at his toned body. Even covered with a shirt and trousers, there was no denying the strength of his body or the very male bump shaping the front of his trousers. So close she only had to lean slightly one way or the other and she’d be touching him.

  Her fingers were trembling as she reached for the buckle of his belt. She didn’t want him to wake up immediately, would prefer to gradually undress him and enjoy each little exposure. Slowly, slowly she fed the end of the belt out of the buckle. Then started inching the zip down, one notch at a time over that bump. Her heart rate shot through the roof. Her fingers jerked the zip down the final centimetres. Desire raced along her veins, heating her rapidly all over, pooling at her centre.

  She hadn’t known this need, this feeling of urgency since Honolulu. Since this man had taken her to bed and taught her more about sex and loving than she’d believed possible. He’d woken her up in many ways, ruined her for any other man.

  A sudden movement and her hand was pinned down. Marshall’s hand gripped hers, his fingers splayed as he pressed his growing erection into her palm. His other hand grasped the back of her head and began to draw her close.

  ‘Stop,’ she croaked. And when he still pulled her closer she said loudly, ‘Stop, Marshall.’

  The hand on her head dropped away. The other didn’t. He tried to sit up but she was impeding him. Good. This was her show. They’d do things her way.

  Looking up, she caught him watching her, eyes wide with lust, tongue tracking those full lips she loved to kiss. When he made to move again she shook her head and pushed him back into the chair. ‘Wait.’

  Returning her hands to his trousers, she finished unzipping them, all caution gone. She spread the opening wide and scooped into his boxers and lifted his weight into her palm, surrounded his hard length with her other hand. The throbbing erection felt like silk against her sliding fingers.

  ‘Charlie. Oh, God.’

  Leaning close, her mouth found him, her tongue licked and stroked, and the desire in her body ramped higher and higher until she shook with the need for him inside her.

  His fingers wove through her hair, gripping as he held her head. His body strained in the chair, pushing up at her. His breathing was fast and hot, his thighs tense as he tightened them against her.

  Then he reached for her shoulders and lifted her up. ‘No, Charlie, you first.’ The words were hoarse with need.

  Scrambling to her feet, she tore her panties off and straddled him. As she hovered above him, her sex throbbing with need, she shook her head. ‘No, Marshall. Together.’

  He caught her waist. ‘Condom. In my trouser pocket. Right side.’

  So he had been hoping for this. She grinned and pushed into the pocket to find the small foil pack. Not that she’d get pregnant. He’d taught her to put one on with alacrity and finesse, and the moves came back in an instant. His passionate groan told her she’d got it right.

  His hand found her wet centre, his fingers touched and caressed. She gritted her teeth, felt her neck cord as she fought to keep control, and reached for him again. This was their night. They had to share, to come at the same time. And then it was too late. She lost the battle as wave after wave of liquid need rocked through her, tightening her muscles and thrumming each and every nerve ending in her body.

  She almost screamed. ‘Marshall.’

  His mouth quickly covered hers, took the next scream. His tongue danced with hers. Those lips held hers. And still she rocked with the power of her orgasm.

  Slowly, slowly it dissipated and her heart rate returned to something resembling normal as she laid her head against his chest. ‘You cheated,’ she whispered.

  ‘Lady, I never go first.’ Then he pushed up against her, his penis finding her opening immediately.

  Lowering herself onto him, Charlie met his thrusts as they became more urgent. Her hands gripped his shoulders as she rode him equally hard and fast. And his name filled the room as she came again. Their world closed around them as they found release, and then they were slumped together, their bodies melding into one another.

  Finally, maybe hours later but most likely minutes, they both moved. Charlie lifted herself off Marshall. He caught her hand, tugged her back. His mouth covered hers with a kiss. A kiss that deepened until she thought she’d explode with need. Shaking, she pulled away. This time she tugged his hand and headed for her bed.

  ‘Lady, any time you want to wake me up, feel free to go about it that exact same way.’ Marshall climbed into bed and wrapped her in his arms.

  ‘Any time, huh?’ She grinned and reached to switch off the light.

  He caught her hand, effectively stopping her. ‘I want to look at you. It’s been so long and my memories need a recharge.’

  Huddling her shoulders, she snatched her hand back and tucked her arms under her breasts. Biting down on the flare of panic again clawing its way through her, she told him, ‘I’ve got stretch marks now. I’d prefer you to remember me without those.’ How lame could she get? He knew she didn’t have hang-ups about her looks or body. But that had been then, this was now.

  Beside her he leaned back against the headboard. ‘Okay, Charlie. What’s going on?’ His tone was light and caring but there was steel running through it. There’d be no fobbing him off this time. ‘Why do you always go to bed almost before the sun sets? Why did you all but fall asleep at the restaurant? Why don’t you want me to see your beautiful body? I remember the Charlie who danced naked for me in my apartment.’

  Here it was. The moment of truth. ‘I…’ Her mouth closed. She took a big breath and shuffled around so that she could see his face. She wanted to know exactly what he thought the moment he learned what had happened. She needed to know if he’d be around for Aimee. Now.

  ‘I’ve had a hysterectomy.’ His eyes widened. She held up her hand before he could say anything. ‘I won’t be having any more babies. Like you and I, Aimee’s an only child.’

  ‘Nothing wrong in that. I’ve managed without siblings. So have you.’ His eyes bored into her. ‘So why the operation? Something to do with Aimee’s birth?’

  If only. ‘Eight weeks after Aimee was born I went for a routine check-up with my obstetrician and she discovered a growth on my womb. It was malignant.’

  ‘Hell, Charlie.’ Shock slammed into him, his face tightening, his eyes popping. ‘Tell me you’re okay now. Please.’

  ‘As far as anyone can say, yes, my prognosis is good.’ She shuddered. ‘But sometimes I fear for the future. It’s a black cloud hovering over me.’

  ‘It must’ve been hell. Are you sure you’re okay? You’re not hiding anything from me?’

  ‘I can show you the medical reports if that’ll help.’ But those hadn’t taken all her fears away so she understood Marshall’s need for reassurance.

  ‘Oh, babe, I wish I’d known. I really do. You shouldn’t have had to go through that on your own.’ He reached for her, wrapped those strong arms around her and held on. ‘I know Brendon was there, but…’ His chin touched the top of her head. ‘I don’t know what I’d have done but I’d have been here for you.’

  ‘I know you would’ve. That’s why I kept looking for you.’ She could stay tucked up in his arms for ever, feeling his strength, his tenderness, but they’d started this conversation. She wanted it finished.

  L
eaning back in his arms to see his face, she continued, ‘My mum died of cervical cancer when I was seven. I was lucky. I have the greatest dad on the planet. He was always there for me as I grew up, and though I missed my mother I never felt lost or lonely. I’m sure I’ve disappointed him at times. When I came home pregnant he took that in his stride. My cancer was a huge shock for him, a rerun of when Mum got ill, but he’s never once let me down.’

  ‘In the short time I’ve been here I’ve seen how good he is, how strong his love is for you and Aimee.’ Marshall straightened against the headboard, his eyes locking with hers. ‘This is why you spent so much time trying to find me. If something goes wrong, you want the same for Aimee as you’ve had from Brendon.’

  He saw straight to the truth every time. She didn’t have to hit him over the head to make him understand. This was one of the things she loved about him. He could be brutally honest but he always got it. ‘Yes. If anything happens to me, Aimee would need you in her life. She has to have one parent at least. Like I did. I need to know you’ll look out for her.’

  A cloud formed in his gaze. Setting her aside, he swung his legs over the edge of the bed and dropped his head in his hands. For a long time he said nothing, and she sat still, watching and waiting, knowing whatever he said wasn’t going to be what she hoped for.

  Finally he lifted his head and turned desperate eyes on her. ‘I hear you. I even understand you. But, Charlie, I’m nothing like Brendon. It’s not in my make-up.’

  Talk about brutally honest. Her heart sank. He’d hinted at his past and she’d wondered if that might affect how he’d react to this situation. But to not even think about it beyond a few minutes—which surely hadn’t given him time to think of the whole situation, not just his part in it—bowled her flat. ‘You’ve been fantastic with Aimee all week. Playing with her, dressing and feeding her, being endlessly patient. Yet now you’re pulling back from a chance to see if we can make it work.’

  Standing, he crossed the room, flicked the curtain open and raised the window so he could lean out, his arms braced wide, his head bowed. ‘I had a hard upbringing. Dad ruled with his fists. What if I’m the same?’

  ‘Have you ever hit anyone?’ She reckoned she knew the answer already.

  ‘No.’

  Exactly. ‘You’re a strong, tough man, Marshall, but you’re not a hard one. Nothing’s changed. I would trust you with Aimee any day.’

  His shoulders stiffened, his back straightened and he turned to look at her. ‘Thank you.’ His gaze locked with hers and it was as though he was searching right inside her. Then, ‘Did you ever want to find me for us? Or was it all about our child?’

  Her heart slowed. Where was this going? ‘I watched you walk away in Honolulu and I ached from the need to chase you down the road to beg you to stay in touch, to come and see me when you had the time.’ She swallowed around a lump that suddenly clogged her throat.

  ‘I knew you didn’t want any long-term relationship but I’d have sold my soul to have another week with you. A month even.’ Her gaze remained fixed on him. ‘So, yes, I wanted to find you. For me. For us. And, heaven knows, I tried. Even when I suspected you’d be angry if I did make contact.’

  ‘I’d never be angry with you.’

  ‘You confused me by leaving your email address in my pocket and then having my emails bounce back.’

  ‘At the time I believed you were better off without me. I still do.’ Marshall slowly leaned back against the window ledge, folded his arms across that expansive chest. ‘But…’ He paused. ‘Those weeks were something special, weren’t they? Wild and crazy, fun and exciting. Yeah, very special.’

  ‘Is that why you came to see me?’

  ‘I haven’t been able to get you out of my head. It’s like we haven’t finished what we started. At the end of my last posting I headed home thinking I’d be able to put you into perspective once I was in familiar surroundings and no longer trying to distract myself as I listened to gunfire in the middle of the night.’

  ‘Didn’t work, huh?’ She tried for a smile, failed badly. ‘So you came for another fling. Or a continuation of the old one.’ The bitterness in her voice disgusted her. She didn’t usually act like this, yet her tongue was like a runaway train. ‘I’m surprised you stayed when you learned I had a child. Hardly the excitement you were looking for.’

  Crossing the room, he gripped her elbows and hauled her up off the bed to hold her as his eyes poured out his anger and his hurt. ‘Stop it, Charlie. I don’t deserve that any more than you deserve what’s happened to you. I got a shock when I realised Aimee was mine. Who wouldn’t? But I stayed. I’m still here. And I’ll always be in contact. For Aimee. For you. No matter what the future brings. That’s my promise to you.’

  Then he kissed her. Hungrily. As though he hadn’t had a woman for a very long time. As if he’d been waiting for her and the sex they’d just shared hadn’t even begun to fill a void within him. His hands slid over her arms, over her back, her tummy, cupped her breasts.

  Pulling her mouth away from his demanding lips, she murmured, ‘I’m sorry. That was selfish of me.’ When he leaned close again she put a finger on his lips. ‘I like the fact you’ll stay in touch. Hopefully, my health will keep improving and we won’t need to revisit this discussion.’ Then she returned to kissing him. She could give him time to take in this latest information. Her heart might be squeezing with anguish at the thought of Marshall leaving but that was nothing new.

  As her body cried out its need for his she gave herself up to the moment. Plenty of time to deal with the debilitating pain of letting him go after he’d gone.

  CHAPTER TEN

  CHARLIE SAT ON the veranda, overseeing Aimee playing in her paddling pool. At the barbecue Marshall was cleaning up after the lunch he’d cooked for them.

  ‘What are you smiling about?’ He dumped dirty paper towels in the rubbish bin.

  ‘Just thinking how this time last week Dad told me to stop searching for you and see what the universe brought.’ Her smile widened. ‘Weird.’

  ‘A troop carrier brought me, not the universe.’ He parked his delectable butt on the top step and tipped his head back to look up at her. ‘But, hey, who’s checking?’

  ‘I promise not to watch the sky too often after you’ve gone.’ She kept the smile on her face despite the sadness threatening to break through.

  His big hand covered her knee. ‘I’ve put all my contact addresses and numbers on your laptop, as you asked. Feel free to call or email any time. I will answer. Might be late if we’re out on patrol, but I’ll get to it as soon as possible.’

  ‘Thanks.’ It was good to know he’d be contactable. Which had been all she’d wanted—at first. Now, having admitted she loved Marshall, she wished for so much more. But did she really want him here with her if his heart was elsewhere? Yes. No. Not really. She had six days left to enjoy his company. Why waste them being miserable? ‘Shall we take a picnic tea out to Acaia Bay later?’

  The hand on her knee squeezed lightly and his eyes lit up. ‘Sounds like a good idea.’ Glancing across at Aimee, he grimaced. ‘She seems full of energy this afternoon. More than usual. Must know I’ve got plans for her mother when she goes to sleep.’

  An afternoon in the sack with Marshall. She couldn’t think of a better way to spend the hours. Except Aimee was busy jumping up and down, intent on making the biggest splashes possible. ‘Funny how she seems to know when I want her to go down on time.’

  ‘If not energy then she’ll run out of water shortly.’ Marshall grinned and leaned up on his elbow to kiss her. ‘I could put a wee hole in the bottom of the pool to hurry things up.’

  Her elbow caught him in the shoulder. ‘Shame on you, Marshall Hunter.’

  The sound of car doors banging reached her from the other side of the fence. Please, don’t be coming here. Not that she was expecting anyone. Then the gate opened and four people streamed through. ‘Keisha and Toby.’ And their boys. She shivered.
The afternoon had just turned grey.

  ‘The woman you mentioned with the breast lump?’ Marshall stood and held his hand out to her.

  ‘Yes. Can’t say I’m too surprised. If I’d got that message I’d want to know what’s going on. But it’s not going to be easy.’ Letting him tug her to her feet, she stepped down to greet the couple trudging up her path. ‘Hey, you’re home.’ She stated the obvious, letting them set the tone for the meeting.

  ‘Got into Auckland last night and drove down today.’ Toby stood irresolute, one arm around Keisha’s waist. ‘I’m sorry we’ve barged in but…’ His voice petered out.

  Reaching a hand out to Keisha, who stood like a rabbit caught in headlights, Charlie said, ‘It’s okay. I understand what you’re going through.’ More than most.

  Keisha gripped her hard, nearly breaking the bones in her fingers. ‘Is it…?’ Swallow. ‘Does this mean I’ve got…?’ Another swallow. The word was hard to say, and Charlie knew that once Keisha did utter it then it became all too real.

  Charlie looked directly at Keisha. ‘We don’t know what your mammogram means yet. Come inside and we’ll talk.’

  Marshall stepped up beside her. Held his hand out to Toby. ‘I’m Marshall Hunter, Charlie’s friend. Want me to keep your boys occupied while you talk with Charlie? There’s a football in the shed.’

  Toby shook his hand in return. ‘Would you? That’s good of you. Calib, Zac, this is Mr Hunter. You’re to go with him while Mum and I talk to Dr Lang, okay.’

  ‘Sure,’ Calib answered. ‘Can Aimee play, too?’

  Giving Marshall a grateful peck on the chin, Charlie whispered, ‘Thank you. I owe you.’

  ‘We’ll make up for lost time tonight,’ he whispered back, and planted a big kiss on her lips. No subtlety, then.

  Turning to the upset couple, she indicated that they follow her inside. Keisha’s eyes were on stalks as she agreed. Once inside she gasped, ‘Is he really just a friend? That’d be a waste.’