Crayons

by P. S. Power

  Third base.

  Maybe someday he'd even need to know something like this. If nothing else he could make sure he understood what Blue had likely meant now. It was hard to tell who it was, really, obviously a guy, someone internally angry, but that may or may not show externally, they were all actors after all, not all great at it, but they had the basic skill set. From the pressure used in writing it was either someone that could barely contain themselves though, that or someone really big. Darren fit that bill well enough, the big and strong part. He wasn't really any stronger than Josh, but the guy's dad was an ex-professional football player and he worked out regularly. It was kind of funny really, because Darren looked really strong, but Josh held most of the school's weight lifting records at the moment. They reset every few years, he guessed, because he really doubted he was the strongest Shilo high student ever. Maybe not even at the moment, since not everyone lifted weights there. You had to be tested for the record to count.

  The guy was really popular too. Which might get him into the book, if what Joanie had said was right, but then again, he seemed pretty nice and mellow most of the time, so that could just be wrong. Maybe it was one of the other guys. Possibly even someone he just didn't know.

  The data search took about a minute, thanks to Google and the definition of third base made him blush a little. There were two, the old one, which was defined as “touching below the waist” and the new one.

  Oral sex.

  The guy, whoever he was had pushed for oral on the first date? That was...

  God. Just about the dumbest, pushiest thing he'd ever heard. He'd really thought that was going to work? Damn. Had the moron ever met a girl before?

  He'd felt pretty lucky when Amy hadn't hit him the night before for confessing that he loved her. Dating must be really different than he thought. Then again “T” hadn't seemed that into it apparently, had she? Well, the point wasn't a big deal, since he didn't have a date and probably wouldn't any time soon, he reminded his hormones. If Amy came over at all, it would just be them hanging out and maybe doing some stuff. That's what she'd said. What that stuff would be he didn't know at all, but he doubted it would involve getting anywhere near “third base”. That would be fun to try though. If she wanted to.

  Laughing he cleared the screen and looked at the clock. It was just now turning eleven, so he hadn't even been stood up yet. He finished his coffee and then brushed his teeth, just in case Amy kissed him again. Or even that he just got to talk to her. Her breath had been like candy. Sweet. He didn't want to come across like a nineteen-fifties diner or anything. Josh brushed twice. Just in case the first one didn't take.

  Paranoid? Who, him?

  The idea made him smile, but the nerves didn't go away.

  He had no idea what to do then. So he went back to the computer and looked up decorating ideas, getting enough into that for a while to lose track of time. The doorbell rang at eleven-thirty, which made him jump, wondering who it could be.

  Oh, he hoped it would be Amy, but it wasn't time yet. She tended toward politely early, true, but that didn't mean half an hour.

  When he opened the door he was a little surprised. It took a few seconds to really get who was standing there.

  It was his dad.

  He had a large Christmas tin in his hands, one with a decorative Santa on the top, done all in red and white. Carl had a smile underneath the blond mustache on his face.

  “Merry Christmas!”

  Josh looked at him for a second and then smiled. They weren't close, but that was no reason to go all cold on him. Yeah, the guy had messed up, leaving them all those years ago and he hadn't really tried to be a very good father since, not to him, but that didn't mean he should be treated like scum now.

  Not too much.

  Maybe just a little?

  “Hey... Time for the semi-annual drop-by again already?” It may not be nice, but it was accurate. Like clockwork, once at Christmas and once in July, on the tenth, which was his birthday. Carl winced and looked a little hurt but Josh shook his head and waved that away briskly with a flip of his right hand.

  “Don't try acting like it's something different. How are Kristine and Marley doing?” He asked, changing the subject a little, it didn't do to beat things to death. The past really couldn't be fixed.

  “Oh, good, Marley made you a card. She'd like it if you came to visit, I know it's hard, but she's your little sister and...” The smile had flagged a bit. Instead of going all quiet and withdrawing like normal, Josh tried for friendly. Or at least normally polite. So no surly growls? That sounded about like what he could manage.

  Right. Don't be a self-centered little monster...

  He smiled and nodded his head as if it sounded like something at least doable. Acting to the rescue!

  “Oh, sure, I guess I could try and do that soon. Um, would you like to come in?”

  Without saying anything he did, walking a little stiffly, as if expecting to see Mercy standing there, arms crossed and ready to fight. They used to fight, a lot, so the basic training was there to set the whole thing up.

  “Alone?” Carl looked almost smug about the idea, as if it proved that Mercy was the bad parent. Because, yeah, that made sense, didn't it?

  She was pretty horrible at it, true, but over the years she'd kicked his dad's butt in that department so badly that it wasn't even funny. She wasn't there for him each day, sure, but Carl wasn't there at all. Even the twice yearly visits were kind of brief as a rule. Short and awkward.

  “Yeah, Mom and Joanie had to cover the office for the day. She still takes the weekends most of the time, trying to work her way up in the firm. Good work ethic.” In a way it was something to be proud of. Josh got ready for the subtle barb about what a horrible mother he'd gotten stuck with, but then looked around. The place was sparkling clean still, and the computer screen showed a decorating display, instead of porn. It wasn't even a violent video game. She must be doing something at least a little right.

  The look Josh got from his dad was sly then, it had enough dark undertone to make what was coming next a little obvious.

  “Oh, is she still dating her secretary then?” Carl tried to look embarrassed, a fake thing that wouldn't have gotten him a part in any of the school plays at all. Mrs. Kincaid would have probably made him a lighting assistant or something. Useful but not seen.

  “Just kidding.” He said, pretending it wasn't supposed to be undermining Mercy.

  Like Josh would care about that? Unless his dad knew that he wasn't supposed to be up on everything. In that case it was a total douche move.

  Completely. From the look in Carl's eyes that was the point. Josh had to stop himself from getting angry then. Instead he nodded.

  “Yeah, they're still seeing each other, getting kind of long term serious I think. Joanie might be moving in soon, which I'm all for, she's really great. Have you met her? You two would probably get along really well, other than the whole thing with you being the ex, I mean. That part might not work so well come to think of it... Other than that though.” He smiled and gestured at the tin. “For us? Or...”

  The man looked shocked at what he'd said, which had been the desired effect. His mom may not be great all the time, gone mainly, but she was his mother. If Carl thought Josh would let him get away with being a jerk to her now, he needed to reconsider. Fast.

  Why, in the last day they'd even bonded a bit. Telling all their secrets and sharing stuff like they had. If that kept up they'd be almost like a family in no time. What they didn't need was some person that was almost a stranger coming in and trying to tear things down just as Josh was getting the hang of communicating openly instead of living inside his own head as a selfish little... jerk.

  The tin moved into his hands.

  “Kristine sent it by, it's not your present, she's just on a baking kick this year. Tasty but not great for the waistline. So... Mercy... told you about Joan?”

  “Oh, yeah, well, you know how that goe
s. Relationships like that are pretty accepted now, so it was ridiculous to bother hiding it in the first place. It's a bigger deal that Joanie works as a receptionist at the law firm, being kind of an employee, than that they're together. No one cares about that.” He grinned and made a face, which probably looked a little silly.

  “Well, except bigots, and probably ex's, but that's kind of to be expected, yeah? You've known though, so I'm sure it's not a problem for you.” Josh waved the tin a bit, it had to be five pounds at least.

  Carl nodded along but then stopped and shrugged.

  “Honestly? It's a little freaky. I mean your mother was never happy with me, not after the first bit, but, well, I was a tool most of the time and she's really career driven so it sort of made sense... but I keep wondering now if it was about this on some level, you know, her liking women, too. Was it just doomed to start with?” He chuckled, a forced and fake thing that Josh decided to never imitate. It was both grating and annoying at the same time. “Though it really doesn't matter does it? In the end I was the one that screwed up. I did everything wrong.”

  Josh nodded.

  “Pretty nearly so. At least you didn't leave Kristine hanging though. The whole thing was messed up, but you did the right thing there with her and Marley. So it's something. Well, except naming her Marley, wasn't that the name of a dog from a movie?” Sure, Josh found both of them, the birdlike and tense step-mom and the pestering and spoiled little half-sister less than ideal personally, but it was a good point. Kris worked at a fabric store as a manager, it would have been really hard for her to raise a child alone, trying to make ends meet and raise the girl alone.

  When Carl had taken off, Josh had been nearly eleven. Old enough to take up the slack and keep their world together. Not well maybe, but it was enough. Clumsy at first, and probably more than he should have had to take on, having just been abandoned by half his life, but he'd gotten it done. It was something he was proud of, in a way.

  Kris had needed his dad more. Even as a kid, feeling betrayed and left behind, which he had been, it made sense to him. His dad was a lawyer and had his own private practice, so made enough money for them to live a good life, even if Kristine only added a bit to it. She made up for it by leading Carl into being a human. Nearly. “Mistakes” about telling Josh who his mother was dating aside.

  Not five years earlier he really had been worse. Bitter for some reason, and aggressive about it. Now he just “joked” about things he shouldn't. Not vast improvement, but it was there.

  Changing the topic suddenly was a favorite tactic of his when things got uncomfortable, so Carl headed down a different road without passing go. Naturally. No need to dwell on his own issues was there? No that might lead to growth, or apologies, maybe other uncomfortable things like understanding of self. Can't have that.

  Josh didn't agree, but got it. His own attempts at growing were nerve wracking, weren't they? Trying to be all open and communicate felt horrifying half the time. That and dismal. But it was worth doing, even if he got hurt trying. Carl just slipped past the moment and... smirked. Never a good sign.

  “So, um, seeing anyone?” He said, his tone looking to poke into teasing if he said either yes or no. It was a thing he did. An obnoxious and annoying one. Making fun of Josh's life or lack of it like he had a right to. If pinned down on it he'd just claim he was only trying to be friendly, not drive his son into inaction to avoid things like this.

  For a long time Josh hadn't done anything just to avoid this bit. Now...

  Screw it.

  Josh could play that game too, he realized, and set his face to dead pan. He wasn't twelve anymore. Not even fourteen. He gave a sudden, shy looking smile. If he did it right it should say “gee, golly” or there about.

  “Yeah, Jim. He's great, you should meet him. We've been going out for months now. Mom really likes him, he's supposed to be coming over soon. We like to hang out on the weekends. Sometimes he sleeps over. You know, since he can't get pregnant mom decided it was a kind of “what the heck” situation. His parents don't mind, so why should she, right?”

  Carl went still, as if it was serious or something, which nearly made Josh lose it and start laughing. His dad looked like he'd just been kicked in the butt. Hard. The scene worked so well with the conversation they'd just had about Mercy and Joanie too. Josh waited for him to try and tease him about it now.

  “Ah...”

  On the good side, Josh reflected, Carl didn't go all ballistic on him over it, he just stood, looking shocked. Considering he'd just told his dad he was gay, that was pretty cool, to tell the truth. Even if he wasn't. It showed more growth from the man than Josh had ever expected to tell the truth.

  “Um, sure... I... I'd like that.”

  The look was so priceless that he wanted to get a picture, but it kind of served Carl right for having tried to sabotage Mercy earlier using her relationship. To buy time and stop the laughter bubbling up inside he popped the top of the tin. It wasn't just some cookies, as he'd thought, but an assortment of cookies and candies. They all looked professionally done too. It was amazing.

  “Kris did all this from scratch?” He said, genuine in his admiration. “This is incredible.”

  Taking a single round ball of chocolate with a flat bottom he took a bite, it was peanut butter filled. Really good too. He nodded.

  “I'll call and let her know I really appreciate it. Tell her thanks from me though, just in case I get too busy? Sixteen year old boy, you know how that goes. My busy dating life and all that.”

  “Um, yeah.” The words were still subdued, as if the man really thought he might be gay. Then Carl didn't know him at all, did he? Josh wanted to roll his eyes, but didn't, because that would give things away too easily.

  To his credit, the man tried to rally.

  “So... Anyway, would you like to come to dinner in a few days? I don't know what you have planned, I know Mercy never does much with you this time of year...”

  That was a point, he really didn't know what was coming up. Really he hadn't thought past the idea of what to do that day and maybe how to drown his sorrows when Amy didn't show. To his surprise Carl kept talking, touching his face, looking like he was trying to rub feeling back into it.

  “You... you can bring your... friend, Jim? What's he like?” It was a feeble attempt but considering it could have gone a whole heck of a lot worse, Josh decided to take it. Really he'd had no idea his dad could manage being half that cool.

  “Well, he's lovely of course, transvestite, but he really makes a good looking girl. I don't know how I'll handle it after he, you know, really becomes a her, but until then I think it will work. I just know you'll really love him when you meet. He likes to be called “her” though, so be careful there. Her, she, all that. I'm not adapting to that as well as I should. That part's new this year and we've known each other for a while.” He tried to sound innocent and genuine but anyone actually paying attention should have known better.

  A gentle knock came at the door then, making him jump a little. It wasn't even eleven-forty yet, so it couldn't be Amy. But when he opened the door, after shrugging at his dad, there she stood, a scared looking smile on her face.

  She came.

  It was all he could do to not pull her into his arms, but his dad was standing right there... After a second he winked at her and did it anyway, hoping she'd catch the ball, improv style.

  After they hugged closely, arm around her he turned and guided her in gently. Keeping his right arm around her protectively.

  She smelled so good, like flowers and springtime, and looked incredible, dressed up in black and green, but carrying a bag with her that could have held almost anything. Like she planned to stay the night. Well, he was good with it, but Bill might turn him into a girl if she tried.

  “Dad... this is my boyfriend Jim. Jim, this is my dad, Carl. I... Told him all about us dating.”

  Amy smiled, a little wickedly.

  Chapter seven


  Amy blocked her shoulders a little and dropped her voice a full octave without blinking at all.

  “Nice to meet you, sir.” Hand going out she shook in a fashion a lot more manly than most teenage boys would be able to manage. It was backwards of course, a real transvestite would try to seem as lady like as possible, but as disoriented as he was, Carl didn't catch that fact. Or maybe he thought “Jim” just wasn't good at faking being a girl yet? She was kind of young.

  “Oh, um, nice to meet you.” Shaking hands was something any lawyer had to be ready to do without hesitation, facing anyone, from a politician, to a murderer. The move was smooth and professional looking, after a second he stared.

  “Wait...” He didn't let go of the hand for a bit and then smiled, looking relieved. “You're one of Bill Banister's girls aren't you? We've met before... Pretty sure I would have heard if he had a son that liked to play dress-up... Word gets around after all.”

  Amy giggled and Josh couldn't help but laugh too then.

  “I am. Sorry Josh, I tried.” She smiled happily enough, looking cute. His heart beat a little faster looking at her and he nearly got lost in her eyes.

  “You did great, considering we didn't have time to set anything up. Dad, this is Amy Corbie, Bill Banister is married to her mother, Laura? She's my friend and no, we aren't dating, I'm not dating anyone. Also, just to set your mind at ease, not gay. If I was I'd come out right now though, you handled that part really well. But if you're always going to try and tease me about dating, you have to learn to expect me to tease back.” Josh grinned. “And be totally owned when I do it.”

  There was a pause then, and Amy reached out to take Josh's hand, holding it firmly.

  “I know I got here a little early, I can go...” She didn't let his hand loose though.

  “Nope. He,” Josh pointed at Carl a little with his index finger, rude, but he stopped almost instantly. “Just came to deliver a package of goodies from my step-mother, which are delicious. I think we can kick him out now that we have the loot.”