“You sure you’re okay?” Concern heavy in his voice, Spencer laid his hand on mine. The comforting zing was still there, swirling up my arm, taking some of my anxiety with it as it retreated.
“Actually yes. You’ve got some pretty useful juju there southern boy.” I smiled, still anxious, but it was tolerable. I had avoided riding in cars for years, mitigating my anxiety by refusing to use a seatbelt when I had to endure it. Most people didn’t care. Most people weren’t my straitlaced partner. I rode the whole way to the crime scene with my hand wrapped around the seatbelt buckle, my finger pressed to the button.
The Camry had barely stopped when I leapt from the car, slamming the door behind me. Thick in the midst of the chaos of the crime scene, I struggled to pull myself together. Relief at escaping the tin-can warred with pride. My momentary spark of satisfaction was almost smothered by the knowledge that I’d have to also endure the ride home.
The scene was the same as the prior ones, however this time there were teams spread out to locate the second drop site. They successfully found the bones almost three miles away. Everyone was perplexed. There was no scent trail from one site to the other. The tracking dogs just whined and ran around in circles around the dead meat eying me suspiciously. When the third dog growled at me I just shrugged at Spencer.
“Dogs don’t like me.” Most animals didn’t. I smelled funny - probably a combination of cat, human, and something else. It was confusing to the poor things. They didn’t know what to make of me.
But it wasn’t just me that was keeping the dogs on edge. I caught a whiff of the same unidentified scent that was at the last scene. It made me want to swipe at my nose. It was unpleasant, foul. But like the dogs I couldn’t track it. It just disappeared.
Don was talking to the handlers, getting the same information as every scene - nothing. He stalked heavily to where we stood next to the remains.
“I’m getting nothing, Spencer. Nothing.” He crossed his arms over his chest, eying the younger man. “This case isn’t getting solved fast enough for the higher-ups. It’s going to leak sooner or later. We can’t keep it under wraps forever.”
“Don’t you have people to spread some sort of believable lie to the public?” I asked acerbically. Didn’t he watch any conspiracy movies? Isn’t that how clandestine government groups operated?
“Don’t start with me Richards.” He turned his glare on me. “You better have some progress to report. I’m getting tired of dancing around my bosses.”
“I’m in.” I shrugged. “That’s as much as I can say at this point.” At his narrowed glare I smiled and added, “sir.” Huffing, he rolled his eyes and stomped away.
We walked together back to Spencer’s car. My feeling of dread increased at the thought of riding back.
“Get this case solved,” Don demanded as he opened his car door. “And tell the techs to hurry up and get this scene cleaned up. The vultures are starting to circle. That’s all we need, some damn birds running off with part of our crime scene.”
I followed to where he pointed. Two vultures perched in a tree about a hundred and thirty feet from the scene, watching. Their creepy eyes made my skin crawl even from this distance. They were odd looking, almost gray with a rusty underbelly and head. I’d never seen a vulture without a naked head. They were quiet too. Watching. Waiting. I shuddered as I followed Spencer to his car and got in, suddenly less reluctant to get inside the metal box. I wanted away from all this death.
Chapter Fifteen
Frustration permeated my every step as I ran through the streets of downtown. The normally soothing rhythm of my feet pounding the pavement only increased my agitation. I was one second, one step closer to having to tell Daniel what I’d done.
Normally I wouldn’t care. I wouldn’t have gotten so close.
This was a perfect example of why.
Beads of sweat rolled down my body, my clothes were drenched. Running in the middle of the sizzling Florida day wasn’t the brightest idea, but I needed to get outside. Needed to feel the wind whip by me as I ran instead of being trapped between the walls of my condo, or the sterile coolness of the gym.
I should have driven to Myakka. Running in my other form might have been more effective at settling the whirl of energy inside me. Centered me.
My arms pumped at my sides, tingling with the buildup of energy that ached to be released. A dog along my route that continually harassed me, scurried to the fence that surrounded his property, a run-down junkyard of sorts filled with the skeletal remains of appliances and used tires. The cacophony of barking and the clang of metal from the backyard grated on my already frayed nerves.
I couldn’t stop the growl that slipped out, my agitation growing with every yap.
I didn’t mean to do it.
The dog, a medium-sized scruffy mix, was throwing himself at the chain-link fence, the metallic jangle adding to the clamor. Flinging my hand out in irritation, the springy coat burst into flames. The noises the poor creature made as it ran, fanning the flames, burning alive, chilled me to the bone.
Tears pricked my eyes at my thoughtless action, but a deeper hidden part of me was pleased. The barking was silenced. Frantic shouts from the yard replaced the clanging.
Never breaking my stride, I continued running.
After a scorching shower, where I attempted to wash off the sweat and guilt, I stared at my cell phone. The dark screen glared at me accusingly. I should just call him. Get this over with as the waiting and wondering was making my turmoil worse. Before I could change my mind I called and asked if I could come over. His warm voice caused my insides to knot painfully as he agreed, suggesting a few activities that could keep us occupied.
I plodded up the stairs, hovering in front of his door, my hand poised to knock but hesitant to do so. I paced back and forth in front of his door a couple of times, gathering my courage. I was so involved in talking myself into knocking, I didn’t notice the door had opened. Daniel leaned against the frame, arms crossed, watching me with a mixture of hunger and amusement.
“Oh. Hi,” I stammered.
“Hi yourself.” Worry flashed in his eyes as he picked up on mine. He stepped back gesturing inside his apartment. “You coming in?” His voice wavered uncertainly.
Nodding I continued to pace inside, worrying my lower lip between my teeth. He didn’t try to stop me, just sank onto his couch, watching my movements warily.
After a few minutes I still hadn’t thought of a good way to broach the subject.
“I need to talk to you.”
“I’m listening.”
“I’m sorry we hadn’t cleared things up before things got this heavy. I’m not used to being in a relationship. What we have is far more than what I’ve had with anyone in several years.”
“We’ve been a little busy.” He smirked, his heated eyes staring into mine. The corner of my lips kicked up.
“I’m not good at this relationship thing.”
“You seem to be doing just fine.”
“But that’s just it. I’m not.” I sighed heavily and decided to just spit it out. My usual bluntness was probably the best way to go. “My ex showed up. I slept with him.”
Hurt flashed in Daniel’s eyes. It passed so quickly I wasn’t sure I hadn’t imagined it. His face was a mask of indifference.
“So you are going back to him? This is it for us?”
“No!” I was doing a shitty job of explaining. “I don’t know,” I whispered as I sank next to him on the couch. “I guess that’s kind of up to you.”
Surprise flared as his brows furrowed.
“We’d never talked about whether we were exclusive or not. I’m not really the relationship type, but things have been pretty intense for us. I didn’t plan to sleep with him, it just happened. I wasn’t thinking.”
“Do you plan to continue seeing him?”
I shrugged completely unsure. I felt drawn to him, like I always had. But I knew nothing had changed in the seven years
we’d been apart. I was still not good enough for him.
“Look at me Kyra.” I forced my eyes to meet his, not expecting the warmth that radiated from them. “I’m not the jealous type. I don’t expect anything from you that you aren’t ready to give. Of course I wouldn’t turn you down if you wanted it to just be us, but I think we both know that you aren’t ready for a relationship like that. I certainly haven’t expected it.” His thumb ran soothingly along my knuckles, as I sat still as stone listening to his words.
“I really like you. A lot.” Daniel grinned sheepishly, his eyes twinkling. “I’m open to whatever type of arrangement you want, as long as I’m still in your life somewhere. Even if it’s just as friends. If that’s what you need.” He cleared his throat, his gaze direct. “I like what we have. You understand me like no one I’ve ever met.”
My racing heart tripped over itself as his words hit home. The shudder I’d been holding back trembled through me as I realized he wasn’t going to walk away from my train wreck. I lunged at him, my arms wrapped tightly around his neck, my nose buried under his ear where his scent lay strongest, sighing when he didn’t hesitate to hug me back. We sat entwined on the couch, while I gathered myself.
When I was pulled together I leaned back enough to look into his eyes, liking the feeling of contentment that echoed there. He dropped a quick kiss on my pursed lips.
“Is this the ex from when you grew up?” At my nod, his mouth quirked up. “Do I get to meet him, or is that too awkward?”
I considered, chewing on my lip again. Unable to repress my grin at the image of them meeting.
“I’m pretty sure he’s not going to like it. Or you.” I shrugged. “I don’t care though. I’ll ask him.”
“As long as it isn’t going to make you too uncomfortable.”
“Oh, it’ll be awkward. But I think he needs to see how my life is now. He needs a dose of reality.” At his questioning gaze I elaborated. “He thinks he can talk me into going back to Wyoming with him. Like things can just go back the way they were.”
“We can’t go back, only forward.”
“Exactly.” I smacked a kiss on his lips. “He’s met Spencer and he knows about you.”
“And slept with you anyway? He’s a catch.”
“No he found out afterward. Like I said, it wasn’t planned. We used to get along great, in the beginning. Towards the end our relationship ran hot and cold. Volatile.” I shrugged, my discomfort at our conversation creeping in again. I shoved it aside, vowing to be as honest with Daniel as possible, especially in light of my duplicity in other areas.
“Some things don’t ever change.”
“Tell me about it.” I snorted.
A sinful smile crept onto his face as his eyes heated. Became endless pools of desire.
“Better yet, why don’t I show you.”
Reluctant to part after spending the evening wrapped up in each other, we walked slowly along the bay. What started as a simple campy vampire joke turned into a heavy discussion in the blink of an eye. Weighed down with worry, Daniel’s normally sparkling eyes were tight. A frown marred his face.
“Human lives are just so fragile, in a mere second it can be taken away. I think that is what drives people to search for immortality - the fragility of life.” Daniel and I walked hand in hand at the marina, passing the children’s water park. The park was half full with families, trying to find some way of holding off the relentless Florida heat.
“I worry sometimes what I’ll be like after the change.”
“Why?” I asked him. We sat in one of the swings overlooking the bay. Children’s laughter floated from behind us at the park.
“I’m still human and I have thoughts that creep in. Dark thoughts. Some of these slime-balls I’ve had to work with.” He shook his head, voice dripping with disgust. “I’ve wanted to kill them. Wanted to squeeze the life out of them and throw their corpses in the bay.” Uncertain, his eyes flicked to mine. “You’ve seen how some vampires turn out. How their humanity is slowly stripped away through the centuries. What am I going to be like once my humanity is taken from me?” He stared out at the water, watching the tide ebb and flow as it crashed on the rocks. He was afraid, not only of his future, but of my judgment.
Thunder rolled. Clouds, dark and menacing, crept over the sky.
“But have you done it? Have you actually killed anyone?”
“No.”
“Wondering about it and doing it are two totally different things.” My eyes darted away. “I’ve killed people. Does that make me a terrible person?”
“No. You’ve killed for your job, for the better good and all that. It’s different.”
“Yes I’ve killed people for my work, but I’ve killed people before then.” It felt surreal having this conversation with the squeals of children laughing behind us, and the storm rapidly moving in from the south. The thunder was growing more frequent, lightning flashed in the sky. Parents were scurrying to round up their offspring, heading home as the storm came closer. Daily storms were common in the summer. They were usually welcome, dispelling the heat, although they often made the humidity unbearable.
“I feel that call, that need to hurt someone like you hurt. I’ve succumbed before.” It was my turn to pause in fear of his disapproval, his disgust.
“I’m sure they deserved it.” He toyed with my hand, running his thumb along my knuckles in a soothing gesture. “What was it like?”
I had never discussed it with anyone. Gavin knew, but never asked, preferring to sweep it under the rug in his effort to help me move on.
“It follows you,” I almost whispered. “Haunting you at the oddest moments, creeping into your dreams when you least expect it.” The memories blurred in my mind. “I’ll never forget their faces, the sheer shock. The look of betrayal.” The last word heavy with disdain. “Betrayal. After what they did.”
“I don’t regret it, but it doesn’t make living with it any easier,” I admitted, my voice starting to shake.
Daniel wrapped his arms around me, holding me tightly in his embrace as the sky opened up, a wall of cool rain washing away the heaviness that had seeped into our day. Soaked in seconds, we didn’t bother dashing for shelter like most of the other park goers. Instead we rocked in the swing, watching the sheets of rain stir up the water of the bay.
His water-logged mohawk lay limply on its side, water streaming through the rainbow of colors. I buried my head under his chin as we let the water wash away our sins.
Daniel’s serious discussion brought to light my own concerns. Since Alejandro had provided that missing puzzle piece, millions of questions fought for space in my head. He’d hinted at the fact that I’d live longer than a normal human, longer than a shifter even. Would I live for centuries like him? Would I struggle to hold onto my humanity or would I gladly shred it like him?
I pushed these thoughts aside. Forcing myself to focus on the here. The now.
Sometimes I just fought to make it through one more day with my sanity intact as I trimmed pieces of myself away at Alejandro’s will.
My reputation in the House grew.
The rumors twisted reality until I was a caricature of myself.
Although most at least attempted to hide their fear, it snuck out through their eyes. Small talk, something I was never good at, became almost unbearable. Filled with awkward pauses and clandestine glances. During House functions I mostly cemented myself to Arabella and Daniel, mingling only when absolutely necessary. But Alejandro demanded it. He liked to show off his newest toy.
Eyes widened, breaths were held in trepidation as I glided closer in my priceless couture. The beast within liked the scent of their fear. Craved it even.
I buried the guilt at what I was doing. Using the flames as an escape, I was finding more and more solace when I released the fire that burned constantly inside of me. It wanted out. When I allowed it to escape, however briefly, and wielded that control, I felt a high. A release. There was nothing
on earth like it.
How long before I was lost forever?
Chapter Sixteen
Steve Aoki’s “Boneless” was thumping on my iPod while I worked out in my converted dining room. It wasn’t much of a dining room in the first place, since the living room, kitchen and dining were all one large space divided by a half-wall. I was more of the eat-and-go type. It didn’t make sense to have more than the bar that divided the space.
Bent over, my hands rested on my knees as I paused for breath, sweat dripping onto the mat. I caught the flash of my phone out of the corner of my eye as it rang.
“Hello?”
“Kyra, can we talk?” I groaned mentally. I should have let it go to voice mail.
“I’d rather not, Gavin.” I certainly didn’t want to spend my evening rehashing ancient history and ripping off scabs. I wiped sweat from my eyes, the sting less painful than where my evening seemed to be headed and stretched out on the cool workout mat, my punching bag swinging gently above me.
“Please, Kyra. I need to know some things.” He paused, his voice rough as he added, “I need answers.” My heart ached at the vulnerability that seeped from behind his words.
“Fine.” I conceded. “Where are you staying?”
“I’m at the Beachcomber.”
“I know where that is. I’ll meet you on the beach in half an hour.”
“Sure. I’ll see you.” He hung up quickly, probably so I wouldn’t change my mind. Dragging myself from the mat, my sweaty body stuck to the vinyl fabric. I shuffled into the shower and washed off the grime.
Thirty minutes later I sat on the sand, the setting sun glistening off the water. I loved living on the west coast of Florida. The breathtakingly beautiful waters and hot sun were definitely preferable to the fickle, often bone-chilling weather of Wyoming. The salty, humid air eddied around me, keeping it from feeling too hot.
Burned Page 15