Burned

by J. Nichole Parkins

  “You are black.” I couldn’t exactly communicate with him so I just blinked, waiting for him to continue. “I was expecting you to look like the others. He tilted his head, examining my fur covered body as he rubbed my head. “Jaguar?” His eyes flicked back to mine.

  I nodded the best I could while draped on the floor in a melted puddle of goo and closed my eyes as he rubbed over my face. His deep chuckle was eerily similar to my purr.

  “You are almost nicer in your cat form.” I growled at him and bared my long teeth. “I said almost.” His eyes twinkled. My heart sang, it seemed I was forgiven.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Since revealing myself to Spencer had gone surprisingly well, I decided to tell Daniel about it when I returned to Tampa. Daniel loved me. My heart swelled at the thought. I knew this without question, without a doubt. He accepted me how I was, violent tendencies and all. There was no reason to hide any part of myself from Daniel. He would embrace both halves, both forms.

  I felt lighter than I had in years.

  Free, almost.

  Yes my love life was a little unconventional, but it worked for now. I had an intriguing job that I enjoyed for the most part. Friends. Gavin back in my life. Things were finally coming together - in a good way.

  Of course, it’s times like that we should worry the most about what was coming.

  But I had no idea. Predicting the future was not one of my abilities.

  After the sun had sunk below the horizon, the last vestiges of light banished, we settled around the fire pit in what had developed into our nightly ritual. The usual suspects were present, but a bottle of whiskey was making rounds tonight. Not my favorite but it was the only liquor on hand and I wasn’t about to be a bad guest.

  “So you are in on the secret, Spencer.” Cole asked taking a hearty swig from the bottle. Handing him a cup, his wife smacked his arm.

  “We aren’t all a bunch of animals.” She glared at him, the slash of crimson across his cheeks bringing on a round of laughter, which only deepened his blush.

  “You seem to be taking it okay,” he continued once the laughter had subsided. “And Gavin is still alive, which is beyond me. I’d have killed the bastard in your shoes, Kyra. You’ve obviously matured in your old age.”

  “I’m used to surprises when Kyra is involved. Things are good.” Eyes twinkling, Spencer’s lopsided grin wasn’t missed by anyone. “And while I’m grateful to be in the loop, I agree. That was a shit thing to do Gavin.”

  Gavin’s eyes darted around the fire as he shifted his weight in his seat. “I already apologized. I lost my temper and I behaved like an ass. No question.” He poured at least three fingers of whiskey into his empty cup and passed the bottle to me, the apology still in his eyes. I swallowed thickly and accepted the bottle, mixing the whiskey with my coke. Anger still sizzled under my skin, but I was working on forgiving him. Hopefully he’d think of some creative ways to beg for forgiveness. I could think of a few. The idea of big tough Gavin bound and at my mercy had me squirming in my seat.

  He was in serious trouble with Aunt Sue and the other elders though. Rightfully so. No one deserved to be outed like that. I’d leave them to their own justice.

  The Addams Family theme song broke through the leaded silence that followed Gavin’s apology - Daniel’s latest choice for his ringtone on my cell. Chuckles broke out and I dove for the phone, silencing it when I answered Daniel’s call.

  “It’s Daniel,” I called out to Spencer as I shuffled off to find some sort of privacy in the midst of creatures with preternatural hearing. Gavin frowned but wisely said nothing.

  “Who’s Daniel?” Tori asked Spencer, catching Gavin’s scowl. I didn’t hang around to hear the explanation.

  “Moshi moshi,” I couldn’t help but answer. His laughter warmed my chest, but the distance left an ache that could only be filled once his arms found their home around me.

  “Hey Kyra. Everything alright?” Even separated by thousands of miles his voice made my breath catch. Being truly loved was a balm to my soul, healing parts of me I worried were forever broken. But it was even more amazing to allow myself to love him back.

  “Yeah.” He laughed at my breathless answer, well aware of the effect he had on me.

  “Just yeah?”

  “I’m having a little trouble at night, things are still off. I’m glad Spence ended up coming. Thank you for talking me into inviting him. He’s been really helpful, although I need to talk to you about something serious when we get back.”

  “You sure you’re okay?” Worry edged his voice at my somber tone.

  “Yes.” It felt good to be able to say that with confidence. “For the first time in a long time I really am okay. I just want to - to share some stuff.” I sighed, frustrated that he wasn’t here. I couldn’t spring something like this one the phone though, no matter how confident I was in his feelings for me. “I can’t wait to see you.”

  “You? I’m dying over here without you. At least you have Gavin - although it’s questionable as to whether or not you’d want the arrogant bastard around.” He laughed. “But man, all I can think about is touching you again.” He groaned in frustration.

  “I wish you could have come.”

  “I’d like to come right now.”

  “Funny.”

  “No, but really. I love you. I didn’t think it would be this hard to be away from you. It’s only been a few days, but I feel like you ripped my heart out of my chest and took the bloody thing with you.” He sighed. “It hurts to be without you.”

  Unable to say much around the lump in my throat I was able to choke out a strangled, “Me too.”

  I had no idea I could feel like this about anyone. He flowed through my veins, a part of me. What started out as a casual fling had morphed into something else entirely. I meant to use him, but instead he crawled into my heart, stitching together the broken parts into something usable. Together we worked. There was some unknown element in him that filled the voids, that shed light on the dark crevices inside me. No one had ever accepted me so freely, gave themselves so wholly.

  I was confident this last secret would be little more than a speed bump to him. That alone felt good.

  “I’ve been able to deal with some stuff here. It was definitely a good idea, but I can’t wait to get back to you.”

  “So I’m guessing Gavin is causing a little bit of trouble with Spencer being along?”

  “Since Spencer is sleeping in my room, yes Gavin has been an ass. But we are working through it. It’s not like we are having sex.” At least I didn’t have to deal with Daniel’s jealousy.

  “Yet,” Daniel’s chuckle echoed through the phone. “I don’t know how the guy’s resisted this long. Especially with all those sparks. Yikes! I’m glad I don’t have a lot of pesky morals to worry about. They get in the way of so much fun.” It sounded like he was in an elevator or something.

  “I just want back in your bed. I’m not worried about getting into Spencer’s.” The reception began to break up a bit as static sizzled on the line.

  “Hey, I’m heading up to meet with Alejandro.” His voice had become tinny with the interference. “I just missed you and wanted to hear your voice before I dealt with work stuff. It sounded like there was something serious going on so I don’t know how long I’ll be.”

  “Is everything okay?” The hairs on the back of my neck prickled.

  “Now that I’ve talked to you they are great. I’m sure it’s fine. You know how he gets.” I could picture the accompanied eye roll.

  “Have a nice evening at work.”

  “What are you guys doing?”

  “Just sitting around the campfire drinking.”

  “I bet you can see so many stars in all that darkness.” His wistfulness was not lost on me.

  “I’d forgotten how many there were.” Resolutely I added, “next time you are coming with me and you can see them for yourself.”

  “I’d like that. I’d also l
ike to see where you grew up and meet that aunt of yours and Tori. They sound like a great family.”

  “They are. I’m glad I came back, but I belong there. With you.”

  “Good.” The elevator dinged, indicating his arrival. “Well Kyra, I’m here. I’ll talk to you later.” He paused, dragging in a deep breath. “I love you.” His voice infused with warmth. The words heavy with meaning, not just flung out of habit. “See you soon.”

  “I love you too. See ya.” He disconnected and I took a moment to gather myself before joining the group, clutching the phone to my chest. I couldn’t believe how much I missed him. I was turning into a fucking cliché.

  “How’s Daniel?” Spencer asked as I sank into my chair, downing my drink in a single gulp. Noticing, Gavin gestured for the bottle pouring me another three fingers.

  “He’s good. Heading into work.” My eyes met Spencer’s knowingly. “Something is up.” I didn’t elaborate, but Spencer could feel my uneasiness. He rested his hand on my leg squeezing it in comfort - the energy that had begun building with my anxiety flowed into him. I closed my eyes in relief. Touch like that could become addicting. After years of dealing with everything by myself I found solace knowing I had others in my corner. I didn’t forget all the shit that waited for me back in Tampa, but with Spencer behind me I knew we’d figure out something.

  I looked around the motley group gathered around the fire, the glow reflecting in their faces, laughing, joking with each other, but there. With me.

  I was no longer alone. I no longer felt I had to be.

  Gavin’s probing gaze met mine and I patted the seat next to mine. I may be mad at him but I still loved him. I welcomed his touch and comfort.

  Instead of sitting next to me he plucked me out of my seat and sat in my chair, resting me on his lap. Spencer shifted unobtrusively so that his knee was touching mine. Gavin glared at him, but didn’t do anything, understanding I needed the grounding. Something he could not provide. I know that ate at him.

  Tori noticed, her brow rose as she pointedly looked at Spencer’s knee and back at me. I rolled my eyes at her. She didn’t need to know all of my business in the first week. Our friendship was solid again. We’d eventually get to the spilling-our-drama part.

  I relaxed into Gavin’s arms, soaking in his warmth, his strength. I’m sure I would enjoy the last couple of days of our trip, but I looked forward to going back home. Back to Daniel.

  The liquor flowed freely - probably a little too freely - but our tolerance was high. Fast metabolism was a side effect all shifters had to deal with. Spencer was his usual responsible self, drinking but not overindulging.

  Secure in my safety net I felt free to let loose for once, and probably drank a little more than I should have with my issues. I even started playing around with them a bit, showing off at Tori and Cole’s prodding.

  “With Kyra here, we don’t have to worry about the fire going out,” Cole slurred when someone mentioned it was his turn to stoke the fire. Unfortunately he stoked the wrong one, but I was drunk enough to go for it.

  The embers glowed warmly in the ashes, but were slow to catch the logs that Cole had thrown in. With nothing more than a thought the flames shot into the air, engulfing the logs completely, singeing Cole’s eyebrows as he remained standing too close.

  “Whoa!” he shouted as he fell backwards into his chair, legs sprawled, smacking himself in the face as he made sure the flames didn’t do any additional harm. Laughter rang out.

  “You totally deserved that,” his wife struggled to say in between bouts of laughter.

  “I can get some tiki torches,” Tori added, admiration shining in her eyes.

  “I think that’s probably enough,” the ever-responsible Spencer added. But he was right. With all my instability, that was enough for the night. I admitted as much to Tori’s disappointment.

  “I promise Tori, you’ll get to see more once I’m a little more stable with the whole thing. I don’t want to really hurt anyone.”

  “Hey!” Cole called out, still rubbing where his eyebrows used to be.

  “That was on purpose,” I mumbled knowing he could hear me.

  “It’s nice having you back here,” Gavin’s warm breath in my ear sent shivers down my back - and further. I turned to look into his eyes, filled with desire, and felt an answering spark.

  My lips ached. I’d steal just one kiss.

  But one kiss was never enough for us. Our love was explosive - suffused with extremes.

  How is it possible to feel this strongly, be in love - really in love - with two such different men at the same time? But I did. I loved them both.

  Being with Gavin was like straddling the line between love and hate. A balancing act. I loved him and how I felt around him, but I hated his jealousy. It was nice how he wanted better for me, but he didn’t have realistic expectations. He didn’t have the same experiences growing up that I did, and he had no way to understand what that did to me. How that shaped me.

  But the moment my lips met his instinct took over, and instinct didn’t care about his judgment and jealousy. Instinct was the drive to touch, the need to feel. The drive for more.

  When we came up for air we were greeted with catcalls and laughter, causing my cheeks to pinken lightly.

  “Let’s take this more private,” Gavin murmured in my ear, biting the lobe in emphasis. Almost delirious in my desire for him, I nodded catching Spencer’s gaze as I rose. Accidental or not, our hands brushed as I rose unsteadily as Gavin said our goodnights. Sparks literally flew, startling us both. The ever-present zing shot up my arm similar to hitting your funny-bone but not exactly painful.

  Only Tori noticed, her eyes wide, confusion swirling in their depths. Gavin’s hand rested in the low of my back gently urging me forward, reminding me of where I was going. My confusion cleared as I focused back on my desire, shoving my questions away. I’d worry about them another time.

  “They always did run hot and cold,” Cole’s deep voice rumbled as we rushed off.

  We enjoyed four relaxing days before the call. Before we found out what had happened.

  Before everything changed.

  “I’ve got another body,” Don barked the moment I answered the call. “Not like the others, but it’s related.”

  “Human?”

  “Yup. I’m going to need you both on this right away. This guy was a snack, he had scars everywhere – old and new. Definitely somebody’s meal ticket. Why anyone would do that is beyond me. Anyway, we got an ID on him a little while ago. Apparently he hits the club scene a lot, a regular.”

  A churning began in my gut, my heart raced. I didn’t want to hear what he was going to say next. The irrational desire to put my hands over my ears hit me. Like if I didn’t hear the words they wouldn’t be real.

  “It’s your informant, Daniel.” A rushing sound started softly in the background but quickly escalated, blocking the surrounding sounds. I could no longer hear what Don was saying, the words were strung together into an incoherent stream. The phone slid from my numb fingers, bouncing as it hit the soft grass. It tumbled until it rested upside down.

  Pain radiated from my chest. My heart stopped, frozen. Panic choked me, my breath struggled to escape the stone that my insides had become. Covering my mouth, my hand fought to hold back the sob. As if keeping it from escaping would keep this from being real. Would keep Daniel from being dead.

  Daniel. Dead.

  The moment the words crystallized in my mind I knew with certainty who had killed him. Alejandro.

  The scent of melting plastic singed my nostrils as the phone slowly blackened and bubbled, melting into the grass. Pain lanced through my chest as my heart resumed beating, slamming against my ribcage like a bird struggling to escape. I shoved all my feelings - the heartache, the pain, and the sorrow - into a box inside my mind and locked them in. I’d deal with all of the turbulent feelings later. It was like a switch was flipped; the pain was a dull ache. A hollow space remaine
d where my love used to live.

  Detached from my surroundings, it was easier to focus on my purpose. The single driving force.

  Revenge.

  Spencer glanced from where he stood on the front lawn with my family and frowned, sniffing the air.

  “Kyra, what’s going on?” The odd look on his face didn’t fit him. Everyone’s focus shifted with his question.

  “Daniel’s dead. Don just called it in.” Was that my voice, so distant and hollow? I couldn’t hold on to my thoughts, they kept flying through my fingers like birds. Their wings brushing my mind. Spencer looked stricken, his eyes pinched. He ran a hand through his hair, his mind working overtime to sort through the details. Planning our next steps.

  “I’m so sorry. Go pack. We’ll leave right away.” He looked down and saw the phone, and scented the air. “Do you smell that?”

  “Sorry about the phone. I warned you.”

  “No, it’s not that… It’s wood burning.” His eyes darted around, stopping at the fence behind me. I heard a few gasps and saw a couple of people run off. Panicked shouts filled the air.

  The fence was smoking, the wood burned but without flames.

  Spencer grabbed my shoulders, trying to pull the swirling, violent energy from me. He let go almost immediately, his hands pink and singed.

  “Kyra,” he warned. “Get a grip.” The energy filled all the voids and spaces in my body, my marrow, the corners in my mind.

  “Look at me!” My focus shifted from the smoldering fence to him. His frantic eyes.

  “If we are going to fly home you need to control it. We can’t fly with you in this condition. You need to rein it in. You don’t want to damage the ranch. Don’t hurt anyone because of this. Don’t let him win.”

  “Right.” I walked away, toward the house. I knew I should feel worried, but I felt nothing.

  “Kyra!” Spencer yelled when I had gotten a half a dozen steps. “Look, take a minute and get some control. Breathe. Seriously, honey. You are burning the grass.” His voice wavered, terrified. Behind me, each footstep was clearly outlined, burned into the grass.