Beyond Compare (The Beyond Series Book 4)

by Ashley Logan

  There’s a brief pause before Kimber responds, “What meat?”

  “Chicken.”

  “Nice. Kat staying?”

  “If she likes,” he says, looking to me for an answer.

  “Are you sure?” I whisper.

  Frowning, he kisses me softly on the lips. “Very,” he whispers back.

  Blushing at his touch, his kindness and general all-star sweetness, I grin as I shift off his lap. “Only if we make a banana cake for dessert,” I say loud enough for Kimber to hear.

  She comes around the corner to deliver us two mugs of tea. “If by we, you mean you and me, then I’m in. But if you meant you and him, no-one will want to eat the cake. It’ll taste like baking powder,” she says, looking down at the cups she holds and winces. “I forgot to ask if you have milk. I just put it in.”

  I take the cup she’s offering. “Perfect. Thank you.”

  “Could you give us a few minutes Sprout?” Lennox asks, blowing her a kiss as he takes the other cup from her. “Linc will know where the bananas are, if you ask him.”

  Rolling her eyes, she disappears behind the wall briefly before reappearing with her own mug. “If you want privacy, you only need to say so.”

  Trying not to smile, Lennox raises an eyebrow. “Could we please have a little privacy, sweet-pea, apple-of-my-eye, Kimber Caro Lima Bean?”

  Scrunching up her nose at him, she tosses her gorgeous dark hair over her shoulder and leaves with a quiet huff.

  Lennox shakes a little with silent laughter.

  “What’s her real middle name?” I ask, now curious.

  “Carolina,” he says with a grin. “I didn’t pick it. What’s yours?”

  “Middle name? Sophia. Katarina Sophia James. Try saying that ten times fast. What about you?”

  “Lennox Batman Green.”

  Snorting, I sip my tea. “Is it too awful to share?”

  Sighing, he looks super unimpressed. “It’s my Mom’s last name. Tracer.”

  “That’s not so bad.”

  “Say it all together.”

  “Lennox Tracer Green.” I start to giggle. “You’re Lennox trees-are-green?”

  “Hmm.”

  “Did Lincoln fare any better?”

  “Vincent.”

  I pass no comment on whether that’s better or worse. It’s irrelevant. “It’s just you and him?”

  Lennox nods, observing me in his usual way as he sips his tea.

  Blushing a little under his scrutiny, I hold my cup in one hand and trail my other fingers through the grass again.

  “You’re not disgusted by me?” I ask quietly, peering up at him from under my lashes.

  His brows draw down. “Why would I be disgusted by a beautiful girl who selflessly gave up everything she had to keep her family cared for and together?”

  I lower my eyes back to the grass. “Reasons.”

  Lifting my chin, he gives me a long, hard look. “Nothing comes to mind.” Kissing me softly on the lips, he pulls back with apparent difficulty, just as I was hoping he’d deepen the connection. His forehead presses to mine.

  “We should make cake. Before I forget I have other responsibilities at this time of the day.”

  Laughing quietly, I kiss him quickly and pull myself up to stretch.

  Muttering something under his breath, Lennox stands too, eying the sliver of skin visible at my waist when my t-shirt lifted with my movement. Feeling my face heat, I lower my arms back down. Closing his eyes, Lennox tightens his jaw and sighs. Opening one eye, he looks me up and down, sighs again and stoops to pick up our mugs.

  “Do you have to work tonight?”

  I shake my head slowly. “I don’t have to; no. I have a little saved, so I can take a night off and still feed the kids.”

  Nodding once, Lennox takes my hand and leads me out to the store. Parking me in front of Linc, Kimber and a box of over-ripe bananas, he gathers the last two cookies off the plate they’ve been sharing and puts them in a bag. Heading out the back again for a moment, he returns, shrugging into his coat. “Back in a tick,” he says, moving to the door.

  “Where are you going?”

  “Marv came by shortly after you left. I was just going to tell him he can stop worrying.”

  “Oh.” Blushing at the thought, I nod. “Tell him thanks for caring.”

  Smiling, Lennox pulls his coat closed and heads out. Turning back to the others, I swallow nervously because they’re both just looking at me with weird, sort of half-suppressed smiles.

  “So... you guys, uh?” Linc asks, with a wiggle of his eyebrows.

  Turning at least the shade of a young radish, I lift one shoulder in an uncertain admission and pull the box of bananas off the counter. “We still have a few things to talk about, but they can wait until after cake.” I lift the box a little as I look to Kimber. “Shall we?”

  Off her stool in a flash, Kimber holds the heavy plastic curtain aside so I can get through easily with my cargo. Once in the hallway, she rushes ahead to the door with the Private sign and opens it to a set of stairs.

  “Come on in,” she says, obviously doing her best to appear as adult as possible.

  “Why thank you,” I reply politely, pretending I’m not at all nervous as I follow her up the stairs, gripping the banana box for strength as my pulse starts to race. By the time I reach the landing at the top and see the Green family’s coats and shoes lining the spacious entrance, I relax just a bit. There’s a familiarity to it that I can relate to.

  Opening the next door, Kimber stands aside as I enter a warm, colorful family home. The walls are a rich yellow and the furniture is all mismatched, yet seems to go together well. Potted plants add the essential touches of green to the surprisingly spacious apartment.

  “Put the box here,” Kimber instructs, patting the large kitchen island as she walks by to throw open the pantry doors. Filling her arms with essentials, she returns to the counter to offload. “Do you have a favorite recipe? Or should I get out the cookbook?”

  “Oh, I know a good one by heart, if you want to learn it. My mom was a great baker when I was younger.”

  Looking at me as if she wants to ask something, she smiles politely, nods, and moves to the fridge. Pulling out butter and eggs, she sets them on the island and turns away again to retrieve a set of mixing bowls.

  “You can ask, if you like. I won’t mind,” I say, giving her an encouraging smile.

  Glancing behind me to her father as he approaches surprisingly quietly, she looks back to me. “Why only when you were younger?”

  Organizing the bowls we’ll need with the ingredients required, I pull out a small bunch of bananas. “She went through a tough few years after she had the twins. She lost her mom and then my dad left her with five kids to look after. She wasn’t quite the same after that, but luckily, she’d already taught me some good stuff. Do you have a lemon?”

  Smiling, she looks to her dad, who’s come to stand at my shoulder. “We probably have more lemons than any other household in the city,” she says, shaking her head as she moves to a large fruit bowl to get one. “What else?”

  “Icing sugar. And milk please.”

  Lennox grips my hip, bringing me into a brief side hug. I shiver as his hand drifts, lingering a moment and then tracing the curve of my ass through my skinny jeans. “What can I do?” he asks in a lower, rougher voice than I’d expected.

  Stepping away to preserve myself from a full flush, I roll up my sleeves and head to the sink to avoid looking at him. “Could you please find my coat downstairs? I don’t know where I left it. My phone’s in the pocket and I need to call Nina to tell her I won’t be working tonight.”

  “I’m on it,” he says, smiling as he backs away as silently as he’d arrived.

  “Is he always that light on his feet?” I ask Kimber, shaking my hands dry. “Is it a batman thing?”

  Giggling, she gives me a shrug. “It might be.”

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  “I thin
k this is possibly the most delicious banana cake I have ever eaten,” Lennox declares, leaning back in his chair.

  Eying the lonely slice left on the plate, I stifle my laughter. “Clearly.”

  Kimber shoots her father a warning look and drags the last slice towards herself. “This piece goes in my lunch tomorrow,” she states firmly, giving Lincoln a glare that’s just as severe. “If it’s not there in the morning, I will follow the crumbs and punish whoever they lead me to.”

  “Good luck finding a trail of crumbs,” Lennox says, licking his finger and dabbing up the ones left on his plate.

  “Then I’ll know it’s you, Trees.”

  “Hmmpf,” Lennox chuckles to himself as he clears the plates to the sink. “Better lock it up, Sprout. You know banana cake is my one true weakness.”

  Her chair scrapes back on the wood floor as she jumps to her feet. “Just leave it alone, would you? I like it too, you know.”

  “Don’t you have some rhubarb stalks to chew on or something?”

  “Da-ad! Just... okay?”

  Laughing again, Lennox crosses his heart and holds his palms up. “Promise I won’t eat your precious cake... if Kat promises to make me another one,” he adds, grinning at me.

  “Don’t bring me into it! Just accept that four slices is more than enough for one man!”

  “But there’s more bananas,” he says, moving to the box, pulling out another bunch and stroking it tenderly as he pouts. “These poor, sad, past-their-prime bananas just want a chance to fulfill their destinies.”

  Doing my best not to laugh, I fold my arms in front of me. “They’ll do that tomorrow. I was going to use them up making cakes and muffins - to take on the next neighborhood fruit round, or to drop to the shelter. I could maybe set one aside for you - if Kimber’s cake is still there in the morning.”

  Kimber beams at me, but Lincoln appears to enjoy this condition more than he should. Hiding his smile, he excuses himself from the table to start washing up.

  Not missing the glint in his brother’s eye, Lennox points a warning finger at him. “You can’t eat it either.”

  “It’ll cost you,” Linc replies with a devilish grin.

  “How much?”

  “Half.”

  “One slice,” Lennox counters.

  “Half.”

  “Quarter.”

  Considering this a moment, Linc runs his tongue over his teeth. “A third of a cake and you’ve got a deal.”

  Sighing, Lennox eyes the slice that Kimber is sealing into a small container. “Are you even staying in tonight?” he asks carefully, as if it isn’t the real question.

  “I am,” Linc replies casually, keeping another smile in check as he glances quickly at Kimber.

  “Fine,” Lennox concedes. “One third. I cut.”

  Lincoln hammers his fist into his hand. “Sold!” Turning immediately to the sink, he begins the dishes.

  Picking Kimber up from behind in a massive bear hug, Lennox sets her back down in the opposite direction. “Okay Sprout. Shower, reading and bed. School tomorrow, so no arguments about staying up to talk with Katarina. I’m hoping she’ll come again, so you can see her then.”

  Looking slightly peeved at being sent off on her bedtime routine, Kimber sighs and looks to me. “You’ll definitely come again, right?”

  “I’d like that.”

  “On a non-school night?”

  I nod. “Sure.”

  “Okay.” Looking at her dad, she points to her cheek. “Kiss me goodnight now so you guys can go finish that talk you need to have,” she commands.

  Giving me a confused look, Lennox does as he’s told and kisses her cheek. “Night Sprout. Thanks for being awesome.”

  “You’re welcome,” she says, patting his bearded cheek before leaning in and whispering, “Don’t mess it up. Just be cool.”

  I bite down on my smile as his cheeks take on a rosy glow.

  “Thanks for the advice kid. Sleep tight then.”

  He watches her walk away down the hall, then strides directly to me as I get up from the table. Taking my hand he pulls me towards the door. “We’ll be downstairs,” he calls back to Linc, who doesn’t bother turning around, just raises a bubble-covered hand to acknowledge he’s heard.

  Without a word, Lennox leads me all the way to the garden, which is now lit with dozens of little fairy lights. Whirling around to face me, he looks into my eyes and drops my hand.

  “What do you need to talk about, Katarina? What else do you want to know? Is this about the stuff I used to do? I don’t anymore; I told you that. I’m not perfect, but I’m doing the best I can.”

  Looking sideways at him, I feel my forehead wrinkling as my eyebrows rise. “Is this you being cool?” I joke, but his pained expression makes my smile disappear. “Why are you upset? I know you’re a good man. A great man. What did I do?”

  Hesitant, he leans back a bit. “I thought we settled things. What else do you need to talk about?”

  “Did you suddenly think I didn’t want you or something? Are you crazy?” Stepping closer, I ball the front of his shirt in my fists. “I want you, Lennox Green. More than you would believe, but I wanted to give you some time to think. I’m not sure you’ve managed to comprehend everything I’ve been telling you.”

  Closing his hands over mine, he keeps them there, his thumbs stroking the backs of my hands as he searches my face with those gorgeous toffee eyes.

  “What am I meant to be comprehending Katarina?” he asks quietly.

  “Loads of things,” I say with a sigh. “I...” Feeling my face kick into extreme firestorm mode, I take a deep breath. “I’m just going to say it, okay?”

  “Please do.”

  “I really want you to fuck me. A lot. I want you to tackle me to the ground, rip my clothes of and take me-”

  His pupils become huge and his hands tighten around my own.

  “But,” I add quickly, leaning back and causing him to pause on route to kissing me stupid. “I don’t want you to do it once.”

  Straightening, his eyes search mine wildly.

  “I mean, I’m not interested in a one night stand, or a month of hot sex followed by a lifetime of regret.”

  “Katarina, I’m not looking for a one night stand. I have loved you since you took over my failed attempts and braided Kimber’s hair all fancy for that party she went to, then turned around, broke three pumpkins, paid for them and returned them as delicious pumpkin pie the next day.”

  “Well you were standing too close. When I turned around all I could see was a big burly man chest, a sexy as sin smile and genetically perfect hair! I was sucked straight into a vortex of private fantasy. Is it really any wonder that I momentarily lost the ability to publicly function?”

  Grabbing the back of my head, he pulls my lips to his in a will-stealing kiss of epic heat that essentially melts me into his arms. If they hadn’t come around my body, collecting me and keeping me together, I would be a gooey mess on the floor. His hands travel my back and one slips under my t-shirt, setting my skin tingling and making me moan into his mouth.

  Making the noise reminds me that we’re not done talking. I moan again - with disappointment this time, and tap him on the shoulder.

  “Mm?” he asks, not stopping his leg-buckling business.

  Pressing both hands against him, I push backwards until he looks down at me, short of breath and with a troubled expression. “What is it? Am I hurting you?” he asks releasing his arms immediately. “Sorry. Did I get carried away?”

  Shaking my head, I bite my bottom lip. “I loved it all.”

  “But?”

  “You’re not thinking.”

  “I’m thinking a whole bunch of things,” he says, his eyes growing darker again.

  “Mm,” I agree, nodding. “I can tell. And I like it, but that’s a problem for me, remember? I don’t think you’ve had time to process the worst part of everything I told you. I liked it,” I remind him. “It’s sick and I know it
, but I liked that I turned him on, and I liked being told what to do and the response I got when doing it.”

  “I know Katarina,” he says quietly, resting his hands on my shoulders.

  Ducking away from them, I narrow my eyes at him. “Excuse me?”

  “It’s why you like me,” he says scratching the back of his head. “I’m intimidating, and bossy as shit. I know what I want and I’m not afraid to take it,” he says with half a shrug. “You don’t always know what you want. You’ve spent so long thanklessly caring for everyone but yourself that you don’t remember how to be selfish, but your body betrays you. You like being told what to do, because it gives you a chance to relinquish the burden of responsibility for a while, and praise for it only sweetens the fact. I know what you’re saying Kat, I’m just seeing it from a different perspective. I want to give you that feeling of freedom. I want to take care of you like no-one ever has, because you deserve it and I’ll enjoy doing it. A lot.”

  My mouth opens and closes a few times without purpose.

  Flooded with thoughts of Lennox following through on those statements, and also the years of guilt over enjoying a hateful thing, I hold my stomach and gulp down air in a bid to keep the confusion from overwhelming me.

  “I don’t want it to be the same with you,” I whisper. “Even though I liked it, I didn’t want to.”

  “It won’t be the same with me,” Lennox says with certainty.

  “How do you know? You just said-”

  “It won’t be the same, because I love you,” he says plainly. “And you love me. You can’t honestly want to compare our glorious - and it will be glorious - sexual future, to the hate-filled few instances you shared with that one spiteful man, several years ago. That’s beyond nonsense. Now can I please kiss you and give you everything your heart desires? I’m starting to believe that you’re either looking for someone else, or making excuses, and if that’s the case, you should tell me now,” he says, pressing his hard length against me, “So I can go fuck myself while I think about everything I was going to do to you.”

  The words, the feel of his arousal jutting into my stomach and the covetous combination of love and hunger in his eyes is too much for my body to take. Pressing closer without thought, my hard nipples brush against his chest.