by Lara Swann
I grin down at her. “You’re welcome, babe.”
I take us into the room and try to maneuver her towards the bed, but she slumps against the wall instead, pulling me with her.
Our bodies are suddenly so close that I can feel hers more acutely than if we were actually touching. My breathing hitches, and I have to force myself under control as she looks happily up at me, still laughing. Even slightly splotchy and lop-sided from far too much to drink, it’s a sight that takes my breath away - her cheeks red and eyes sparkling up at me, cute and cherubic.
“She’s…never going to forgive that.” Cassie says breathlessly, looking delighted at the idea. “Worst…impression…you could give.”
I smile back, and because I can’t help myself, I lean forward to kiss her. She pushes forward into it, moaning the moment after our lips meet and wrapping her body around mine.
Fuck.
I hadn’t expected that.
My cock jumps up at sudden attention, and I have to bite back my own groan of desire.
My tongue enters her mouth even as I’m thinking what a fucking stupid idea this is. Meets hers. Tangles and dances as my hands run through her hair, tugging and arching her into me.
Double fuck.
I’m playing with fire.
My own control balanced on a knife-edge…wanting more, but knowing if I go much further, I won’t be able to come back from it.
With a muttered curse, I pull back, leaving us both gasping now.
She looks up at me, hot and aroused and impossibly seductive.
“Fuck me, Josh.” She says, breathy and perfect.
My hand lands on the wall next to her head, to stop it from bringing her into me again.
“You’re drunk.” I say, knowing she doesn’t care but trying to remind myself at least.
I do care.
I’m not fucking her like this.
“So are you.” She grins, pressing forward again and running her hands down my back, sending sparks of need through me.
She’s touching me the way I’ve always wanted.
And it’s so much better than I pictured.
I do groan now, and my hand comes up to cup her head again.
My mouth teases hers as I try and pull myself back, making it so much harder for both of us.
“C’mon…I want you.” She murmurs into my ear, and I kiss her just to shut her up.
I don’t know what she’s going to say next, but if I have to hear any more, I’m not going to be able to hold back.
“We should…try it…” She adds, as we come up for air, and she holds onto the back of my neck, pulling herself closer.
Fuck fuck fuck.
“Not…like this.” I say, pressing my lips against hers one last time and then pulling back hard. “We need…to go…to bed.”
It leaves her there, leaning against the wall and looking back at me. Her expression twists into confusion as I step back and retreat towards the bathroom, trying to get my raging desire under control.
I disappear into it, pushing the door to and running the tap. I ignore it for a good few minutes as I fight to get my breathing under control - to not run out there and kiss her as she wants me to, fuck her as she wants me to.
Fuck it all to hell.
You don’t want it to be like this. You don’t.
I keep repeating it over and over again, until eventually I start to believe it again.
By the time I come out of the bathroom with what feels like enough water to fill the tub, she’s buried under the covers and won’t talk to me.
I make her drink the water anyway, and sigh heavily as I get into bed beside her.
Beside, and so far away.
My cock hard and aching, and my body still on fire.
Am I going to get any fucking sleep this vacation?
Chapter Nine
Cassie
“Good morning!” I say brightly.
Josh groans at me and rolls over.
I smile and just watch, sitting on the bed above the covers and waiting for him to work through the hangover.
When he finally blearily works out that I’m not going away, he sits up enough for me to hand him a glass of water and some painkillers.
It still takes another twenty minutes before he’s willing to open his eyes enough to look at me, as they slowly kick in.
“Don’t tell me you feel fine.” He says accusingly, and I continue smiling at him.
“Happy as can be.” I say cheerily.
“Fucking lightweights.” He mutters. “Get all the benefits.”
He downs the rest of the water and I hop off the bed to top it up.
Our standard routine.
He watches out for me while I get off-my-head drunk from half of what he consumes, making sure I don’t do anything too stupid. And the morning after, when he’s hungover and grouchy and I’m fine, I’m there for this slow, complaint-ridden recovery. Which usually ends up being about providing lots of water, painkillers and a massive fry up.
“What’s the time?” He asks as I bring the water back.
“Probably mid-morning.” I say.
“It’s so hot in here. I’m dying, Cassie.”
“I think it’s just you.” I grin at him again, shrugging. “I’m a little warm maybe - but I think that’s just the sun on our closed blinds. We’re normally in the pool by now.”
“The sun is not my friend today.” He shudders. “Under the covers sounds better. Can you bump up the air conditioning for me, Caz? Please?”
He looks so distraught that I can’t help but oblige, fiddling with the largely incomprehensible panel until I hear the whirring of the fan start up. He sighs in relief as I take my place back on the bed, nudging his leg.
“Oh thank god.” He says, slumping back against the headboard and closing his eyes again. After a moment, he opens them enough to meet mine. “We don’t have to be anywhere, do we?”
“Nope.” I laugh a little, and he winces at the sound. “I’ve no idea who’s awake, but I’m not exactly anxious to see anyone just yet.”
Last night is still hazy and I don’t remember many details, but there were more than enough uncomfortable conversations with my family - and especially my Mom - that I’m not looking forward to facing the after-effects this morning. The only thing that’s really stuck with me, is that Josh was there to support me - almost all evening. I could feel that he was looking out for me the whole time, fending off the worst of my Mom’s comments and trying to look after me.
It was what I woke up thinking about this morning.
Well, that - and the fact I’d suggested he fuck me last night.
He didn’t fuck me. Of course not.
And I didn’t mean it.
I mean, we’re not actually together. Just friends.
And it says something about our friendship, that I can remember that and feel more uncomfortable about whatever I might have said to my Mom.
He’s the only guy I can ever imagine facing this easily the morning after, sitting on the bed and smiling at him, despite doing something as fucking stupid as that.
But neither of us have even mentioned it, and for some reason I don’t feel awkward.
I guess it’s obvious enough to both of us that it was just a drunken fluke.
One that’s never happened before, sure. But one that we both know didn’t mean anything.
So we’re fine, recovering from the morning-after together and chatting easily as always.
Or at least, we will be, so long as I can just shake this fucked-up feeling that even now, fully sober, it’s still a hot thought.
“I could murder a diner breakfast right now.” Josh interrupts my reverie, a half-hopeful expression on his face as he looks at me.
“I’m not convinced the ranch has it’s own restaurant. Or that there’s anything for miles around.” I point out unsympathetically. “Not that I’m particularly looking forward to breakfast here - if anyone can even be bothered to make anything.”<
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He grunts, and I continue, just to wind him up. “Heyy, maybe it’ll be leftovers from last night!”
He groans again, throwing his head back and then wincing at the gesture. “Fuck that.”
I laugh and wriggle down to lie out beside him, my head on his chest. He’s right that he’s hot and sweaty, but he doesn’t move me and for some reason it doesn’t bother me either.
Instead, his arm comes around my back, pulling me up against him and he gives me a more serious look.
“How about we just get out of here for the day?” He suggests. “Go recover some place nice…and quiet…and with real food.”
My heart leaps more than it should at the idea of avoiding my family - or, really, my mother - for a while, but I bite my lip anyway.
“Like where?”
“Your…hometown isn’t too far from here, right?”
“Well…a couple of hours…” I consider. “You think we could?”
“If you ask me, you’ve done your duty.” He grins at me, even if his face still looks pale and strained. “And as your six-month boyfriend, I certainly have. We stuck around for your sister’s engagement party. You could always blame me if they question it.”
I feel better with every point he makes, and sit up again, surprised at just how relieved I feel about getting away for a while.
“You’re up for that?” I ask, suddenly feeling guilty. “I thought you wanted to spend the day in bed.”
“If there’s a big, greasy breakfast at the end, I can deal with snoozing in the car for a couple of hours.” He says with complete certainty.
My stomach rumbles at the thought, and I realize I’m right there with him. I might not feel hungover, but damn that sounds good right about now.
“Okay, a day trip it is.” I say happily, jumping off the bed and starting to throw a few things together for us.
He looks over at me resentfully. “Can you please not be quite so…lively…about it though, Caz?”
I grin and toss some clothes his way.
It takes him as long to get into those, put on sunglasses and a hat, as it does for me to pack a bag with a few things we might need.
“Ugh, it’s so fucking hot.” He says as soon as we step outside, swaying a little, and I put my arm around him for support.
“Don’t worry. The car has air conditioning too.” I say.
To my immense relief, we don’t see anyone on our way out of the place, and then we’re driving away without a second thought. My border hometown Yuma might not be too close to here, but the idea of a long drive is far more appealing than being holed away in our room, trying to avoid my family.
Sure, maybe I’m just running away from it all for a bit, but then again - that’s pretty much always been my solution. Ignore as best I can while I’m around, then leave and go back to the life I actually enjoy in LA.
Josh starts snoring from beside me, a cowboy hat covering his face and sunglasses on underneath, and I smile wryly to myself. That didn’t take long.
True to his word, that’s how he spends the entire journey, and I’m quite happy with my own company - especially after the number of people I’ve had around me over the last few days. It’s a pretty easy journey, not many people on these country back roads at this time on a Monday, and it goes quickly.
He wakes up exactly when we pull into the parking lot of the diner I vaguely remember from years ago, whether by coincidence or some unnerving instinct for when food is nearby, I’m not sure.
“Ughh…” He groans again as his movement shifts the hat and the sun hits his skin again. “I can’t fucking wait for that food.”
My stomach echoes the sentiment entirely, and we don’t say much as we make our way into the diner.
I don’t think Josh even realizes we’re now in the hometown he wanted to see, and I’m not interested enough to make the point. Instead, we focus on the menu, and order far too much food - complete with indulgent ice-cream milkshakes, too.
“Is this place good?” Josh asks, after the waitress comes by to pour our the standard filter coffee and take our orders.
“It was when I was a kid.” I say, “And you could say that a little quieter, you know.”
He gives me a sheepish glance, and shrugs. “Sorry - must be bad habits from being so obnoxious around your family.”
I smile at that. “So, how do you think that’s going?”
He groans again, holding up a hand. “Food first, Caz, c’mon.”
I grin and relent, leaning back in the booth and looking around at the old, homey decorations about the place.
The aromas coming from the kitchen are enough that I can’t think of much else, either, and I’m far more grateful than I should be when the food comes out quickly - and with generous portions.
Josh and I don’t say much as we stuff our faces with bacon and pancakes and sausages, and as much as I didn’t really care about Beth’s choice of menu yesterday - certainly not as much as Josh - I can definitely appreciate the indulgence today.
I push the remains of my food away long before Josh does, and he makes methodical work of every last scrap on his plate - and then on mine - while we sit together in companionable silence.
I look out at the largely empty scenery around me, and try to work out if it’s different than I remember. I’ve been back a fair few times - Mom and Dad, and Maria and John, still live here. But I don’t exactly come for the town, and I can’t remember the last time I came to this area.
When he finally sighs and sits back, I smile and cock my head. “You need more?”
He shakes his head with another sigh, and I recognize a food-coma when I see it. I sit back again, slowly sipping coffee and letting him recover from the over-indulgence. There’s nowhere we need to be, and I realize I’m feeling more relaxed here in this old diner than I did lying by the pool in the sun at the ranch.
“Damn, that was good.” He finally says, sounding stronger than he has all morning. “That was exactly what I needed, Caz.”
“Me too.” I agree, and I’m not talking about the food. “Thanks for suggesting we come out here, Josh.”
He grins, and it actually looks genuine now. It never fails to surprise me, how much a little bit of food can change his whole demeanor - especially after a heavy night.
“Well we couldn’t come all the way to Arizona together without me seeing where you grew up.” He says.
“Believe me, there’s not much to see.” I laugh and shake my head, setting down my empty coffee mug.
“Show me anyway?” He asks, his eyes regaining some of their sparkle as he looks back at me.
“You know what? Whatever you like, Josh.” I smile back, his good humor infecting me.
I take his hand on the table and squeeze it, warmth spreading through me as I realize I’m here away from my family, with my best friend, and we’ve got the chance to have fun and just be us again.
With everything else going on, I’d almost forgotten how much I enjoy just being around Josh.
We settle up easily enough, and head out of the diner together. I drive us into the center of town and leave the car there.
“We can probably just walk around from here - it’s not that big.” I say with a shrug and he nods in easy agreement.
As we start walking together, he takes my hand, and my heart skips a beat. I glance down at our hands, but he doesn’t seem to notice, already asking questions about where we are, how I spent my time as a kid, and anything else he could probably ever think to ask.
Okay. I guess this is just something we’re doing now.
It’s not a bad feeling. Not at all. Just a little…strange.
For two friends.
But I guess the last few days have formed a few new habits between us, and this does seem natural.
I show Josh my parents’ house, then the main high street of the town, the shopping mall and my old school - all my childhood haunts - and tell him little stories about the shit I used to get up to as a kid.
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And I find I’m enjoying it a lot more than I thought I would. I’ve never told anyone much about my childhood before - not because there was anything wrong with it, but it just isn’t that interesting. And I couldn’t imagine anyone would be interested.
But reliving a few of these memories, and sharing them, is actually nicer than I was expecting.
And Josh seems to be having a good enough time, even if I’m sure it’s not that interesting.
When we come to a stop outside my old school, he takes a look around and gives me a wry smile.
“We should’ve done this trip before the ‘how well do I know you’ contest.” He points out. “I could actually answer those questions now.”
“You could ask for a rematch when we get back.” I say with a laugh.
“Okay, I don’t want to win that much.” He says, eyes sparkling as they meet mine.
Then he steps closer, one hand tucking my hair behind my ear as he leans in to kiss me.
The same way he did yesterday, more times than I can probably count. Gentle pressure that turns into a hot demand, his mouth opening mine and his tongue slipping inside as my pulse picks up and I try to remember how to breathe.
I can feel my pussy contract just from that light pressure of his mouth, my body wanting more and my head spinning with confusion - even as he’s already breaking it and withdrawing, still smiling at me, but with a gaze I swear is heated now.
“My…family aren’t here…to see us.” I say when I can think clearly again, pointing out the obvious with a murmur.
Which doesn’t change that I wanted him to do it. That it felt natural and right and easy to me…just as much as it seemed to for him. Whether anyone’s around or not.
What are we doing…?
That familiar half-cocky, half-sensual smile blooms across his mouth and he tilts his head. “I know, Cassie. It’s a good…habit, though…so that it’s still natural when we are back with them.”
I nod, as though this is a perfectly valid reason. “Yes…of course. Habit.”
That’s all we’re doing.
His smile widens, and he kisses me again - harder this time, a little more insistent, holding my head in his hands as I grip his shoulders tight. I swear I could lose myself in that mouth, in the delicious heat and strength of his body.