For Her Protection

by Lauren Giordano

  “Can I come out yet?” a voice piped up from the back seat.

  “Not yet, Jimmy.” They’d been on the road nearly forty minutes. Luke glanced in the rearview mirror and caught a flash of Murphy’s headlights looming out of the darkness in the distance behind them. He listened to the engine of the overloaded Chevy as it hurtled up another strenuous climb through the mountains.

  “But I’m all squished up. How come Samuel gets to—”

  “Buddy, I need you to stay down for just a few more minutes, okay? Pretty soon it will be safe to come out.” His gut was still on red-alert status. They’d travelled nearly twenty miles on the darkened backcountry roads without incident, but Luke didn’t feel any better.

  “Okay, Luke. I can do it.”

  “Thanks, pal.” Their escape had been too easy. Why hadn’t anyone tried to stop them? And where was their backup? According to Duncan, the task force had supposedly set up two different checkpoints. He’d been through hundreds of takedowns and he’d never not known where his surveillance team was located; he’d never not been able to spot them. Unless the group out of Charlotte were freaking magicians, he was beginning to wonder whether they’d ever been there in the first place. The whole thing was beginning to smell rank.

  Questions shot through his mind and he hated admitting that he didn’t have the answers. If Petrie was working for Sloan, then why hadn’t he finished what he’d started? There had been three shooters at the convenience store. They’d had the opportunity to kill him. Why hadn’t they? Dammit, what was he missing?

  There were too many gaps in the puzzle. Was it possible that by running, Luke had left them more vulnerable to attack? He felt guilty leaving Murphy behind to face God knew what. The scene had disaster written all over it. He shook his head in disgust. He didn’t like chaos. He’d never forgive himself if Murphy got killed over this.

  “Where are we going?”

  He tensed at the sound of Jilly’s worried voice. It was a damn good question. He wished he had an answer that made any sense. They were going nowhere. The Tennessee line was only a few more miles. Best he could do was try to get lost in the mountains. Of course, he then had to worry about staying in contact with Murphy.

  “Don’t know, babe. We’re makin’ good time, though.” He heard her shift around in her tiny spot on the floor. She had to be uncomfortable, yet she didn’t complain. She had to be thinking that he was a complete idiot and that he was no closer to solving their problem than he’d been four days ago when their odyssey had begun.

  “Are we alone?”

  “Murphy’s tagging with us to make sure we’re not being tailed. Then he’ll head back.”

  “Then we’ll be on our own?”

  “Sort of. Murphy’ll meet up with us tomorrow.” He grinned at her lowered head. “Why? Don’t tell me you’re finally nervous?”

  “Not really. If anything happens, I’m sure you’ll think of something. You’ve managed pretty well so far.”

  He did a double take on that one, startled at her show of confidence. “Yeah, right. This is the most disorganized operation I’ve ever been involved in. I’m sorry I got you into it. If I had to do it over again, I’d have picked another car to jump into.”

  “And have me miss all this excitement?”

  He glanced at the fuel gauge as they crossed the line into Tennessee and thought about his options. They’d need gas in another hour. While the highway would be faster, it would be safer to travel the back roads. And back roads meant gas stations would be closing soon. It would probably be wise to fill the tank and find a place to stop for a few hours. Jilly and the kids could sleep. He could take stock of his pathetic situation and try to get organized. If they left before dawn, he’d still have the cover of darkness working in his favor.

  “We’ll stop in about twenty minutes. Can you last that long?”

  “Of course. Don’t feel like you have to stop on my account.”

  His gaze dropped to her hiding place. With her head tucked down, she couldn’t see him looking at her. Her Ladyship was proving to be quite resilient. Who’d have thought it?

  “Tell Jimmy we’re almost there.”

  “He’s gone to sleep.” Her voice floated up to him on a husky whisper. He studiously ignored the tingle of awareness that crawled up his spine. Instead of worrying about tomorrow, he should be concentrating on tonight. Another endless night alone with her. How would he handle it? Especially now.

  There was a very distinct possibility he cared about her. He swallowed hard around the sudden constriction in his throat. The mere thought was enough to make him break out in a cold sweat.

  Jillian didn’t even wrinkle her nose at the smell of the damp, musty cabin. She waited patiently when Luke stepped in first, intent on protecting them from any gun-toting thugs who might be hiding in this very cabin. She even managed a smile as he carefully checked out the two small rooms and the attached bath. It was clear to her that the cabin hadn’t been rented in months. The only thing he was likely to uncover would be a pack of marauding raccoons.

  The thought of climbing between the sheets and stretching her cramped muscles was too good to think of anything else. The scent of cheap motel rooms was beginning to grow on her, she realized as she watched Luke bolt the door and reposition the furniture to block the draped window. She had the feeling she would remember this little hole-in-the-wall with fonder memories than all the holidays she’d ever experienced at the Savoy.

  “Okay, we’re good to go. Let’s get the kids to bed.” Luke materialized by her side in the space of a heartbeat and carried James into the adjoining room. He stripped off the little boy’s shoes and socks and let them fall to the floor. Then he returned to scoop up Samuel from the chair where he’d deposited him and crossed the room, laying him gently next to James between the sheets.

  “What will we do about Sarah? We left her crib behind.”

  He smiled and tugged Samuel’s shoes off. “Got it covered. The guy in the office has a cradle. I’m sure it’s probably ancient, judging from the looks of the place. But I’ll make sure I get some clean blankets for it.”

  She smiled at the back of his head. He was so bloody organized. “That will be lovely. Are we staying here long?”

  Luke glanced up from tucking the boys in. “Probably not even the whole night. You can take the spare bed in here with the kids. I’ll grab an hour on the bed out there.” He nodded to the next room. “I want to be near the door…just in case.”

  She stifled a yawn and tried not to jostle Sarah, but the desire to move and stretch was nearly overwhelming. Her body still felt as if it had been folded in two and she was dying to work the kinks out.

  In no time Luke had the antique cradle assembled, wincing only once when it squeaked in protest. With fresh sheets and a worn, faded blanket, it didn’t look half bad. Jillian wasted no time setting Sarah down and tucking her in.

  “I’ll wake you when it’s time to go,” he whispered as he turned to leave.

  “Okay.” Sighing with relief, she gave in to the urge to flex her aching muscles. Luke was halfway across the room before he turned back. Ignoring him, she continued to hop from one foot to the other, then waved her arms and bent from side to side. He was probably thinking that her thin veneer of sanity had finally cracked, but she couldn’t summon the energy to care.

  “What the hell are you doing?”

  “My back is stiff from crouching so long,” she whispered. “I’m just trying to loosen up.” She noticed his frown and tried not to be annoyed with his impatience. “I’m sorry if I’m offending your sensibilities. I’ll stop in a minute.”

  “I’m too tired to figure out what that means,” he said wearily. “Why don’t you have a seat on the bed out there and I’ll rub your back. It’ll work some of the kinks out.”

  She didn’t need a second invitation. She remembered how good it felt the last time he’d rubbed her neck. Luke’s hands were nothing short of miraculous. And with the room so diml
y lit, he probably wouldn’t be able to see her drool.

  She left the door open a sliver, just in case the children woke up. Then she crossed the room and dropped down onto the edge of the ancient bed, rolling her neck in anticipation. The lumpy mattress shifted under his weight when Luke slid over behind her. She resisted the urge to groan as he placed his hands at the base of her neck and began kneading.

  “Take your sweatshirt off.”

  Well, wasn’t that a bloody fantasy come true? She started when she felt him tug it up over her head.

  “It’s getting in the way.” He placed his warm hands on her shoulders and began rubbing her weary muscles through her T-shirt. “Man, you’re tight,” he acknowledged.

  Jillian didn’t know how much she could attribute to being folded up in the car and how much was from the knowledge that Agent Heartthrob was touching her. The thought of his hands on her body had her tightening with desire.

  “Sorry about the close quarters in the car. I couldn’t risk someone else getting shot.”

  “What happened back there?” She could barely form coherent words into a sentence, not when he stroked her like this. An involuntary shudder swept through her and her eyes flew open. Dear Lord, he was sure to have felt that.

  “You okay? I’m not rubbing too hard, am I?”

  She swallowed around the lump of panic rising in her throat. “I—I’m fine. It feels wonderful.” Lord, her face was flaming. Even the sound of his voice had her stomach fisting in a knot of desire. It was gruff and edgy, as though he’d gone for days without sleep. Luke hadn’t even touched her sexually and here she was on the verge of coming undone. If he so much as looked at her, he would see it. He would see the desperate need in her eyes. She only prayed he wouldn’t see the love shining there or he’d run away for sure.

  “We should get to bed soon. You’re not gonna have very long to sleep.”

  Luke didn’t wait for her response, but rose suddenly and headed for the bathroom. She shuddered, took a deep breath and rose unsteadily from the bed, her body still tingling from his touch.

  “I’ve got the case out here,” she called through the open door. A minute later she snatched up the toiletries bag and followed him. He would probably want to wash up before bed. She poked her head around the door and stifled a cry of horror when she saw him in the mirror.

  “Good Lord, you’ve been shot again.”

  “It’s not that bad. Just a graze.” Their eyes met in the mirror and Jillian’s widened as she read the pain and frustration mirrored in his.

  “That’s a bloody big hole in your jacket.”

  “Yeah. Lucky for me he missed.” Luke rinsed out the washcloth he’d used to wash his face and neck.

  “You didn’t think to mention it before now? What the hell were you waiting for?” She dropped the bag on the counter with a thud and unzipped it angrily while she tried not to tremble with fear. Someone wanted them dead. Lord, what if they’d killed him? What if she’d never seen him again? “For the love of God, you could have bled to death.”

  “Jill, it’s nothing.”

  “Give me your arm,” she ordered. “Let’s get it cleaned up.” Her vision blurred as she dug through the bag for antiseptic and gauze. Her hands wouldn’t stop shaking as she withdrew the mountain of supplies. She paused to wipe blindly at her eyes.

  “Hey, are you okay? It’s gonna be all right.” Luke tipped her chin up, forcing her to look at him. “Jill, I’ll keep you safe, I swear it. They’ll have to kill me before I let them get to you or the kids.”

  Incredulous, she slapped his hand away, the tears coming faster now. “What about you, Luke? Who’s going to keep you safe?”

  His eyes registered shock and she could only assume it was over her emotional display. She was clearly violating one of his rules by having her meltdown in front of him.

  “Don’t cry, Jill. I can’t handle crying.”

  “I can’t help it. You’re going to get yourself killed.” The tears continued to pour out and she wiped her eyes on the tail of her shirt. “Take your blasted jacket off so I can clean that arm.”

  “Stop crying first,” he ordered. “I don’t want you touching me until you can see straight. You’ll end up bandaging my elbow instead.” He chuckled and pulled her roughly into his arms. “Babe, don’t worry about me. I can take care of myself.”

  “I’m scared, Luke. I mean, I’m trying to hold it together, but I’m truly frightened.” She burrowed against his chest and gulped in several shuddering breaths. His hands held her in place, slowly stroking her back while she battled for control. Lord, she wanted to stay in his arms forever. He was so solid, so strong and fearless. She wanted him more than she’d ever wanted anything in her whole life.

  She wanted Luke forever, but knew in her heart that particular wish would never be granted. Luke didn’t want to care about anyone. He would never allow himself to care. Linda had seen to that, making certain she’d destroyed him for anyone else who came after her.

  “You’re doing great. Better than I ever thought you would,” he admitted. “It’s okay to be scared, Jill. Just so long as you don’t let the fear paralyze you. If you freeze up, you’re as good as dead.”

  “What about you? Are you frightened?” She tipped her head back so she could see his expression.

  He shook his head. “Not for me. I’ve never worried about dying. I knew the risks when I signed on. It’s an occupational hazard,” he explained, seeming to choose his words carefully. “I don’t want anything to happen to you or the kids. The only thing I’m afraid of is letting my guard down. If that happens, I won’t be able to protect you.”

  “Are we safe here?”

  “Safe enough for tonight,” he amended. “No one followed us. We’re well hidden but I’m not taking any chances. With Petrie involved—”

  “Petrie!” she interrupted. “The man who works with you? The man who was in our room tonight?”

  “Yeah. He’s the one who shot me. Him or one of the other guys I ran into. There was an ambush at the convenience store.” He released her and tugged his jacket off, wincing as he pulled it gingerly from his wounded arm. “The problem is I can’t be sure who else is involved. I doubt he was working alone. If Sloan got to him, he may have gotten to others.”

  “You’ve got that look on your face.” She took a step closer, scrutinizing his expression. He was holding out on her. “Give me the rest of it.”

  “I’m beginning to think there may be others in the agency who might be involved.” He seemed to choose his words carefully. “If that’s the case, then I don’t know how this will end.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “It means that, aside from Murphy, I don’t know who to trust.”

  “Danny feels this way, also?” He nodded. “What about Josephson?” She retrieved her scissors from the first-aid kit and carefully cut away his shirtsleeve at the elbow. Once she’d rid him of the sleeve she unbuttoned the rest of his shirt.

  “I don’t know. Murph seems to think Joe’s not involved, but I had him lined up in my sight the whole time you were coming down to the car.”

  “And?” She bit her lip when she got a look at the torn flesh of his forearm. Lord, it looked as if he’d been attacked by a wild animal. He grunted when she applied antiseptic to the angry wound.

  “Dammit, that stings.” He would have tugged his hand away but she’d tucked his hand into her side and held it firmly in place with her free arm.

  “Quit moving around,” she ordered. “Really, Luke. This is nothing compared to your backside.”

  “Yeah? Speak for yourself.” He was scowling when she glanced up at him and she couldn’t help smiling.

  “You were saying?”

  “Oh, yeah, Joe. Believe me, I had my gun trained on him. One wrong move and he’d have been toast.” He jerked his arm free when she turned back to the counter to get fresh gauze. “The damn thing’s clean enough. Just wrap it up and let’s get you to bed.”

>   She frowned at him in the mirror but the argument died on her lips when she took in his haggard appearance. He was exhausted and hurting, his eyes red-rimmed with fatigue. And though he tried to hide it from her, he was worried about what was yet to come.

  “I do believe I enjoyed patching up the other end better. You didn’t talk back quite so much.”

  That remark brought a slow grin and she was relieved to see him smile. She hadn’t realized how much she had grown to rely on his sense of humor to carry them through this ordeal.

  “You’ve just got a thing for my butt, that’s all.”

  “For a part of your anatomy you rarely see yourself, you’re awfully hung up on it, don’t you think?”

  “Hey, I’ve seen the way you look at me.”

  She continued to wrap the gauze around his arm until it covered the wound completely, only glancing up after she’d taped it in place. He stared at her, his expression serious now and she swallowed around the sudden dryness in her throat.

  “And just how is it that I look at you?”

  He held her gaze, his golden eyes burning with an intensity that made her heart pound. “Like you want me to take all your clothes off and kiss every inch of you.”

  Jillian sucked in a ragged gasp and knew her eyes had widened in shock. She felt her face flush with embarrassment at the very same moment her body clenched with anticipation. He would never allow her to love him, of that she was absolutely certain. Luke would sooner run first than face the possibility of caring for her. The next best thing would be to love him for the few nights they had left. She could accept what he was willing to offer. All she had to do was keep the love to herself.

  “You mean, like this?” She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled his head down to hers. She felt his body tense, heard him take in a sharp rasp of air.

  “Jill—”

  The next best thing could very possibly be the worst—to know wholeheartedly the intimacy they shared would be beyond incredible and to know she’d never experience it again. But tonight, even that possibility didn’t matter. To be sure, her heart would shatter into a million pieces, but she’d have the rest of her life to put it back together.