On the Line (Out of Line Book 7)

by Jen McLaughlin

  Static sounded, but no one spoke.

  “Hello?” I checked my signal as I drove through the wooded area that led to my house, frowning when I noticed I still had three bars. “Can you hear me?”

  A crackle, and what could have been a word.

  The hair on the back of my neck rose, but I tried to stifle it. I’d changed my number. It wasn’t searchable on the Internet. The only people that had it were the precinct personnel, Ben, Captain, and Grace. There’s no way he could have gotten my information twice in one week. This wasn’t a horror movie, it was real life. This couldn’t be happening. Not again.

  Pressing my lips into a thin line, I hung up.

  Not today, Satan.

  I stopped at the stop sign down the road from my house, never feeling so isolated as I was now, in the woods, with not even a hint of the moon in the sky. I glanced in the rearview mirror for any signs of headlights, then turned left. I missed summer, when the sky didn’t darken until nine. Now, in the beginning of fall, I was lucky to still see the sun at seven.

  As I pulled up my driveway, my phone rang again. Unknown number. Stiffening, I clicked the answer button on my steering wheel. “Detective Lopez,” I said, my voice sharp.

  This time, there was no mistaking the sound of the stereotypical heavy breathing on the other end. It wasn’t static, or even bad signal. It was a man. Breathing. Into the phone.

  When had my life become this? When had I become trapped in this nightmare?

  “Stop calling me.”

  Nothing. Just breathing.

  I hung up again, trembling, and got out of my car, my hand on my gun. Walking quickly, I came to my doorstep and froze. There, lying on the porch, was a single red rose.

  No note. No wrapping. Just a rose.

  I’d never seen anything more terrifying in my life.

  Rushing past it, I stepped on it, unlocked the door, and rushed inside, ignoring the flower that Vinnie had always given me when he “messed up” and “let me make him mad like that.”

  As I closed the door behind me, I called out, “Grace?”

  Grace came out immediately, smiling. “Hey, how was work?”

  “Good,” I said, trying to keep my voice steady.

  I hadn’t told Grace about Vinnie, or his reappearance in my life, but maybe it was time. When Vinnie had come into my life, ruining it and everything inside it, I had become closed off to the world. All our mutual colleagues had taken his side, and hadn’t believed my accusations. They’d made my life a living hell as I tried to navigate out of the nightmare I’d been in.

  Out of necessity, I’d stopped opening up to people, and had trusted no one. But maybe Ben was right. Maybe it was time to change. “Can we talk?”

  Grace frowned, looking worried. “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing. I just need to tell you something about why I left California.” I sat at the kitchen table and motioned for Grace to do the same.

  “Okay, but I have to tell you something first.” Grace hesitated. “I don’t know how long it’ll last, since it’s evening, but your mother has her memory tonight. You might want to go in while you can, and see if she remembers you.”

  I stood, trembling, the world spinning around me. “Seriously?”

  “Yeah. Whatever you need to say can wait. I’ll be right here.”

  Legs shaking, I ran toward to Mom’s room, hope bursting in my chest for the first time since I’d come home. Over the last two months, my mother hadn’t recognized me. Not even once.

  So, if tonight was the night…

  Was this actually happening?

  I rushed into the room, slowing my steps as I came inside, making sure not to startle her. Mom’s eyes landed on me, and I hesitated, not sure how to proceed. Mom had clearly showered, and she wore her favorite sweater and the necklace Dad had given her for her fortieth birthday.

  She was knitting, like usual, but she’d started a new project besides the baby hats she usually made for baby me. Her eyes dipped down, then up, then down again, taking in every detail about me. Her eyes watered, and she opened her arms, smiling. “Sarah, my baby.”

  Choking on a sob, I didn't hesitate to run to my Mom. I flung myself into her frail arms and held on tight. She smelled just like I remembered. Flowers and perfume. Between my scare on the way home, the stress of my move, and now Vinnie finding me I just couldn't hold back anymore. When her arms went around me, holding me tight, there was no holding back my big, solid, loud sobs as my shoulders heaved with each one.

  There was no stopping them.

  She held me tight the whole time, brushing my hair off my forehead, shhing me like she used to do when I was a child and I’d come home crying because Maggie Matthews had been mean to me at recess again. Eventually, the sobs stopped, and I forced myself to pull it together and not waste a single second of this time I’d been granted. The doctors had told me there would be days where Mom was lucid, and to not get my hopes up when they occurred, but this was the first time she’d actually had one.

  I wasn’t going to waste it crying on her shoulder.

  Swiping my hands over my cheeks, I settled in on the edge of her bed. Mom’s words from the other night echoed in my head, and I couldn’t help but feel like I’d let her down. “I’m sorry for crying all over you.”

  “Nothing to be sorry for.” She cupped my cheeks, smiling at me with her own watery eyes. “Such a beautiful woman you’ve become. I don’t know how long we have together like this, so tell me everything. I don’t want to miss a thing.”

  So…I did. I told my mother everything. I told her about California, and how I’d moved back here to be with her—but not mentioning too much about Vinnie, besides that I’d had a boyfriend back there, who’d turned out to be a jerk. Then I told her about being partnered with Ben, and how we’d made up recently.

  I also told her that I was taking care of her, and swore I’d never leave her side, to which Mom had objected. “Grace told me how it’s been. You shouldn’t have to give up your life to care for me, Sarah.”

  “I’m not.” I shook my head. “I have help. I have Grace.”

  “You could put me in a home. Visit me there—”

  I held up a hand, cutting her off immediately. “No way. Absolutely not. I have you, and I’m not giving you up. Ever.”

  “But if it gets worse, if I become a danger to myself…” She squeezed my hand, smiling sadly. “If I become a danger to you? Please don’t hesitate to put me in a safe place. If it’s for the best, then so be it. You can still come visit me.”

  “Mom…”

  “Promise me you’ll do it, if it comes to that.” She squeezed my hand, her grip surprisingly strong. “I need your word.”

  I hesitated, but finally nodded, giving her what she seemed to want. “But I promise I won’t let anything happen to you.”

  After a while, and more catching up, Mom had faded off and fell asleep, and I left the room emotionally exhausted. Grace, true to her word, still sat at the table, a book in her hands and her feet up on the chair opposite her. When she heard me approach, she lifted her head and smiled. “I take it she was still lucid?”

  “Yeah.” I got two beers out and crossed the kitchen, offering her one silently.

  Grace took it, twisting the top off. “I’m glad you got to see her like that, but tomorrow…”

  “She’ll be back to asking me if I’m a nurse.” I sat heavily. “I know.”

  Grace took a sip of beer. “I’m sorry, Sarah.”

  “I know.”

  After a few moments of silence, Grace cleared her throat. “So… You said you wanted to talk to me?”

  “Yeah.”

  Grace set her beer down and swiped her hands on her scrubs. “What’s up?”

  I hesitated, rested my elbows on the table, and locked gazes with my former best friend. The girl I used to trust with all my secrets. Could I trust her now? Guess there was only one way to find out. “You need to know why I came back here, besides for my m
om, and what I’m running away from. It’s time I told you everything about what happened in North Carolina.”

  Grace settled back in her chair. “Okay. I’m listening.”

  Sixteen

  Ben

  “You’re kidding me, right?” I asked, my grip on my iPhone tight.

  Dad sighed. “When do I ever kid about this type of thing, son?”

  I glared at Sarah’s house, staring at the only light that was still on—the one in her living room. Grace had left an hour ago, and I was in my customary position outside the house where I could watch over her without her knowing. I’d decided to keep my distance as I watched over her, because if I told her the truth, she’d insist I leave, and I’d refuse. We’d fight about it after my refusal, of course, but I was stubborn as hell, and eventually she’d see I wasn’t going anywhere. Once she accepted that, she’d invite me to sleep on the couch. But if I slept on the couch, I’d be close to her, and if I was close to her, then I’d want to talk to her. If I talked to her, I’d want to touch her. And if I touched her, I’d want to kiss her. If I kissed her…we all knew what came next.

  Yeah. Neither of us could afford that mistake.

  “She should have told us.”

  He sighed. “I think it’s time you press her for more information. The more we have, the better equipped we’ll be to protect her. Are you there now?”

  “Yes, in my car.”

  “Knock and pretend you stopped by. Tell her what we know, and politely request for the full story this time. We need to know exactly what we’re up against here, and the only way to know that is the truth. From what I can tell, they dropped the charges, and accused her of fabricating the whole story, which means she lied about him being in jail in the first place. I want to know why she lied.”

  I gritted his teeth. “Yeah. Okay.”

  “Find out, or I will.”

  I nodded once, recognizing that tone for what it was—an order from my boss. “Yes, sir.”

  We hung up, and I sighed, shoving the phone in my pocket. Without wasting time on a game plan, I got out of my car and made my way up to the door, scanning the perimeter as I went. Nothing moved, or made a sound out of the ordinary, but I felt like someone was out there, watching. I didn’t like that feeling at all. As I climbed the steps, I frowned at the trampled red rose on the porch. Had Sarah dropped it on her way inside?

  Bending down, I picked it up, walked to the door, and knocked three times, sharply. Silence greeted me, then after a while I heard the lock unlatch, and she peered at me through the crack of the door. She wore a pair of duck pajamas, her hair was loose around her shoulders, and slightly damp as if she’d showered recently. Heart pounding because she looked so fucking adorable in those stupid pajamas, I held the rose out. “Hey. I—”

  “What are you doing?” she said at the same time.

  As her gaze fell to my hands, her eyes narrowed. She reached through the door, snatched the rose out of my grip, and tossed it into the bushes.

  “What the hell—?” I started.

  “Why were you holding that?” she snapped, interrupting me.

  “I found it on your porch, and picked it up.” I looked over my shoulder at the bush that now hid the rose, confused. “Why did you throw it?”

  “Because I don’t want it.” She stepped aside, and gestured for me to come in, searching the shadows much like I just had. Did she sense a presence, too? “What are you doing here?”

  “What’s with the flower?” I asked again as I passed her, watching as she shut the door and immediately locked it, then punched in the code for her security system. It beeped twice.

  “I don’t like roses.”

  I blinked. “Since when?”

  “Since Vinnie used to give them to me after hitting me,” she answered without hesitation.

  “Shit.” I stiffened, looking at the door. “Is it from him?”

  “I don’t know. I’m trying to tell myself it isn’t.” She hugged herself. “Why else would a random rose be on my porch, though?”

  “You should have called me,” I said, my tone hard.

  “I was busy.”

  Busy. Riiiight.

  Walking inside, I headed toward the couch where I’d slept the other night. Guess it would be my bed again tonight. No way in hell I’d be leaving her alone after hearing her ex may or may not have put a rose on her porch. “Is your mom asleep?”

  “Yes, has been for hours.” She hugged herself harder. “Why?”

  “Because we need to talk.”

  “Says who?” she asked, trailing behind me.

  “Me.” I hesitated. “And the Captain.”

  She crossed her arms, eyeing me cautiously. “Why?”

  “You didn’t tell us the whole story, Sarah.”

  “I told you everything you needed to know,” she said slowly, edging closer to the wall. She leaned against it, her arms still crossed, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that she was seconds from fleeing me and my questions. “I dated him. He seemed like a nice guy. After a while, he started hitting me. Threatened my life and my job if I told anyone. Almost killed me. I finally left him, got a PFA, and then I came home.”

  I approached her cautiously. “But you left out one tiny little detail about him that was kind of important.”

  She lifted her chin, her eyes flashing defiantly. “What’s that?”

  “That he’s a fucking cop.” I stopped just short of touching her. “And that you turned him in, which made the department eager to be rid of you, which helped you get the job here. Oh, and you also lied, because he’s not in jail like you said.”

  “There was no lie.” She pushed off the wall. “Clearly he got out.”

  “No.” I backed her against it by moving closer. She wasn’t going anywhere until I had some answers. “He never got in.”

  Her nostrils flared. “What?”

  “He was never in jail,” I said rigidly. “You lied.”

  She pushed off the wall, ducked under my arm, and started pacing furiously. “I didn’t lie. Don’t you dare accuse me of lying.”

  The way she said that, her tone broken, reminded me of something my father had said. No one had believed her, and she’d been all alone after she told the truth about her partner. Clearly, in my anger, I’d struck a chord—something I didn’t intend to do. “Sarah…he was never in jail.”

  “You’ve got to be kidding me?” she cried, her face flushed with anger. “You’re telling me the second I left, they just let him off the hook? They just let him go? They assured me if I left, if I went across the country—”

  “So you actually thought he was in jail?” I interrupted.

  “Of course I did.” She stooped pacing and spun on me. “Why would I lie about that?”

  “I don’t know. Why would you lie about him being a cop?”

  She poked me in the chest. “I didn’t lie. I just didn’t mention it. His profession is irrelevant to the situation.”

  “The hell it is.” I caught her arm. “He was your partner.”

  “So? We didn’t have a no-fraternization rule like your father.” She tried to yank free, but I didn’t let go. “I did nothing wrong, Ben.”

  “I never said you did.”

  “And yet you’re looking at me like that,” she spat, trying to pull free again. “With judgey eyes. Or is it that you don’t believe me anymore? Are you like them? Are you going to accuse me of making it all up for attention?”

  Anger hit me in the chest for more reasons than one. I backed her against the wall, releasing her, but not setting her free. Instead, I pinned her in with my body—which was probably a huge fucking mistake. “Are you seriously asking me that?”

  “Are you seriously looking at me like that?”

  I growled under my breath. “Like what?”

  “Like I did something wrong.” She slammed her hands against my chest, leaving them there. “They all looked at me like that when I reported him to the bureau. What was I supposed to do? Ke
ep quiet? Let him kill me, because, hey, at least I wasn’t turning in my partner, right? At least I wasn’t turning on a fellow cop like a traitor?” She tossed her hair over her shoulder, staring up at me with fire in her eyes. “That’s why you’re looking at me like that, right?”

  Shaking my head, I bit my tongue, trying to keep the words from coming out. If I told her why I was looking at her like that, there would be no going back.

  “Then why?” she persisted, clearly not aware of how close I was to saying the worst thing I could possibly say right now, considering her body pressed against mine in all the right places, and all I wanted was to pull her into my arms, kiss her, and swear I’d never let any asshole hurt her again.

  “I’m not looking at you like anything,” I gritted out.

  She shook me slightly, her grip on my shirt tight. “Yes, you are. Why? Tell me!”

  Something inside me snapped, giving way to the need to be one hundred percent honest with her, no matter the consequences. “Because you should have been with me, damn it. Not him. You should have been mine, you should still be mine, and I never would have hurt you like that. That’s why I’m looking at you like that—because I want you to be with me. I want to keep you safe, and I wish like hell we could go back in time, and do it all over again so you never left me.”

  The second I finished that sentence, I knew I’d made a huge mistake. But there was no taking them back now. I’d said them. I’d meant them. There was nothing to do about it.

  Before I could even attempt to clean up the shitstorm I’d just unleashed on us both, she did the unthinkable. She rose on her tiptoes, closed the distance between us, and kissed me.

  And I, selfish dumbass that I was, matched her unthinkable action with one of my own. Instead of pushing her away and ending it before things went too far, I closed my arms around her, hauled her against my chest, slammed her against the wall, and…

  I kissed her back.

  Seventeen

  Sarah

  He backed me against the wall, his unyielding mouth claiming mine in a way no other man had ever managed to claim me since I’d walked away from him all those years ago. His hard body pressed against mine pushed me over the edge of control and logic. There was no longer any thought process, or hesitation. I’d wanted him from the moment I laid eyes on him again, and there was no changing that—especially not when his mouth was on mine.