On the Line (Out of Line Book 7)

by Jen McLaughlin

  “The girls can speak for themselves,” Carrie muttered to him.

  “I know. But we know you want to know,” Finn argued.

  “I would,” Carrie said. “But still.”

  Noelle perked up for the first time that night. “There’s a story?”

  “There’s always a story,” Riley said, grinning.

  Ben flexed his jaw, staring straight ahead.

  I found my napkin suddenly very interesting.

  “They used to be high school sweethearts,” Hernandez said, since we weren’t about to. “Were happy as could be, until one day Sarah decided to up and move across the country without telling him why.”

  “Oh shit, this is her?” Finn asked.

  “Shh,” Riley hissed.

  Oh God, they’d talked about me?

  Noelle looked from Ben, to me, and back again. “But… Why?”

  “Yeah, why?” Hernandez said, grinning at me.

  “Because I’m an asshole,” I said.

  At the same time, Ben said, “She thought she saw me in my bed with another girl.”

  “What?” Hernandez said.

  Carrie’s eyes widened.

  “Ben,” I hissed.

  “We might as well tell them the truth,” he said, shrugging. “They’re not going to give up until we do. Besides, we have nothing to hide.”

  I sagged in my chair.

  He continued: “I let a buddy use my bed, and when she went in and saw who she thought was me in the bed with someone else, she lost it, packed up, and accepted an offer at Duke. The rest was history, till she came back and our captain partnered us up.”

  Finn whistled through his teeth. “So, all this time, you thought he cheated on you…”

  “And you thought she left you for no reason,” Noelle said with wonder. “I need to write this down. Give me a pen, Riley.”

  I blinked at her. “Excuse me?”

  “Sorry.” She took the pen from Riley. “I write romance.”

  “And Riley writes mysteries,” Carrie added, smiling.

  “O-Oh. Cool.”

  She wiggled it in the air. “Do you mind?”

  I shook my head.

  Ben waved a hand at her. “Do what you must.”

  “So, what’s it like now?” Carrie asked, watching her closely. Too closely. “How is it working together with all that history?”

  “It’s good,” Ben said.

  “Fine,” I added.

  We looked at one another.

  Finn cleared his throat. “Wow.”

  “Yeah.” Ben turned away first. “Wow.”

  Noelle finished writing, and bit her lip. “Why did he partner the two of you up in the first place? Just bad luck?”

  “Something like that.”

  Ben snorted.

  “So he hates you both?” Carrie asked.

  “Something like that,” I muttered again. “Though, really, just me.”

  “Their captain is Ben’s father, remember?” Finn said to Carrie.

  “Ooooh, that’s right.”

  Noelle lifted her head and gasped. “Let me guess, there’s a strict anti-fraternization rule in the precinct?”

  Ben pointed at her. “Correct.”

  Noelle picked up her pen and started writing again.

  I groaned. My life was about to become the plot of her next bestseller. Inside the pages of Noelle’s book, her story would end happily. I couldn’t help but wonder…would mine?

  “Change of subject?” Ben interjected, shooting me an apologetic grin. “How is Marie, Carrie?”

  “She’s great. She asked about you the other day.”

  I stiffened.

  Hernandez glowered.

  “Oh yeah?” Ben asked, seemingly unaware of both those things. “What she say?”

  “Actually, she asked if you were still single.” She shrugged, side-eying Hernandez. “She has a thing for cops.”

  Ben grinned and rubbed his stomach. “Hell yeah, she does. Last time we saw one another at your Halloween party—”

  “I’m getting a drink. Anyone want one?” Hernandez shot in gruffly.

  I raised a hand. “Me.”

  “Me too,” Ben said.

  “Fuck off,” his best friend shot back.

  Carrie gasped.

  Finn laughed.

  Hernandez walked away.

  Ben sighed dramatically.

  “Why do you do that to him?” Riley asked.

  “Because I’m sick of them both being stupid and stubborn.” She leaned back in the chair and took a sip of her Coke. “They need to just hook up already, and put all of us out of our misery.”

  “I know,” Ben agreed.

  I still sat stiffly.

  “Nothing happened between me and Marie,” Ben said under his breath.

  “Whatever.”

  Carrie glanced at me and smiled. “She didn’t really ask if he was single, Sarah. Relax.”

  “I am relaxed,” I said immediately. “Why wouldn’t I be relaxed?”

  Finn snorted.

  Carrie elbowed him.

  Noelle kept writing.

  Riley rubbed her back and watched as she wrote.

  “Welcome to the group, Sarah,” Ben said dryly.

  They all smiled at me, even Noelle, and I couldn’t help but think…

  What had I gotten myself into?

  Twenty-Six

  Ben

  Sarah was smiling. Actually smiling. It had been a while since I’d seen her look happy, or carefree, and I had to admit it…if that had anything to do with me, then I was going to smile, too. She’d balked at the idea of going out with me and my friends, but in the end, we’d all gotten along splendidly, just as I’d suspected we would. After all, Sarah was incredible.

  Just as amazing as my friends.

  There was no denying that there were feelings still there between us—real, undeniable, strong ones. But in our current situation, no matter how much I might wish it were different, I wasn’t free to pursue those feelings. The punishment wasn’t worth the risk. I wouldn’t be the reason Sarah Lopez lost her job…

  Or her ability to care for her mother.

  She unlocked the door and smiled over her shoulder at me. Her brown hair fell in soft waves down her back, and she had on one of those skirts that hugged her ass and begged for me to—no, I was going to stop that thought right there. Nothing about her body begged for me to do anything. “Guess what?”

  I snapped out of my thoughts. “What?”

  “I had fun tonight. Thanks for insisting I go out. It’s been a while since I hung out with a group of friends like that.”

  “How long?” I asked out of curiosity, holding the screen door open for her.

  “Since before Vinnie. He didn’t like me going out…or having friends.”

  I swallowed hard. “Asshole.”

  “Yeah.” She walked inside, and I followed her. “Being home, with you, it’s brought out a side of me that I thought had died. The kind that actually knows how to socialize, and laugh…”

  I closed the door and forced my hands to stay at my side, even though my fingers itched to reach out and touch her soft cheek. To comfort her. “I’m sorry that happened to you, and even sorrier I wasn’t there to help.”

  “I left you, remember?” she said quietly. “If I hadn’t—”

  “Don’t go there.”

  She bit her lower lip. “How can I not?”

  “Sarah…” I said, stepping closer to her, my arm outstretched.

  Someone cleared their throat behind us, and she jumped slightly.

  My hand dropped back to my side where it belonged.

  “How was dinner?” Grace asked, watching us with an expressionless expression.

  “Great,” Sarah said, tucking her hair behind her ear. “How’s Mom?”

  “She’s still awake. She told me she was waiting up for the ‘male nurse who sings and knits’ to come in.” Grace glanced at me. “I’m assuming that’s you?”


  “Y-Yeah,” I said slowly.

  “She remembers him?”

  I knew immediately what she was thinking.

  Her own mother had forgotten her, but she remembered some guy who visited her the other morning and never came back in? Little did she know, though, I had. I’d made a habit of visiting Mrs. Lopez every day. She liked when I knitted her hats, and sang Ed Sheeran songs to her, so I did it daily. My voice calmed her, and she often fell asleep while I sang. It seemed like it was the least I could do while living under Sarah’s roof.

  “Apparently,” Grace said.

  Sarah swallowed.

  Something twisted in my chest. “Sarah—”

  “It’s fine. It’s good. I’m happy she likes you.” She wrapped her arms around herself. “Do you mind—?”

  “Of course not,” I said immediately. “I’ll go in now.”

  She caught my hand as I passed. “Ben?”

  “Yes?”

  “Thank you.”

  I squeezed her hand. “Nothing to thank me for, Sar.”

  She let me go, and I made my way back to her mom’s room, my heart pounding hard for more reasons than one. I hadn’t called her by her nickname since we’d been together, and it had felt…right. I hadn’t really known where we might go after we took care of this whole ex-boyfriend thing, but I had a vision in my head now—and it didn’t include us being platonic partners. After we put that asshole behind bars where he belonged?

  It would be time to get my girl back.

  If I had to leave my father’s precinct to make it happen, then so be it. I’d lived a life without Sarah, and I’d lived a life with her at my side, and I could tell you, without a doubt, that I preferred the latter. If she felt the same way as me, I’d do anything, sacrifice anything, to have her again.

  Walking into the room, I pasted a smile on. “Mrs. Lopez. You shouldn’t have waited up for me. It’s late.”

  “Not too late for me,” she said, smiling at me. She fumbled in her lap for her knitting, which was where it always was, and handed it off to me. “Do you mind?”

  She sounded so much like her daughter in that moment that it physically hurt. “Of course not.”

  “You started a new one?”

  She flushed. “I did. Pink this time. Sarah loves pink.”

  Sarah hated pink. “Yes, she does.”

  Sarah slid inside the room, arching a brow at me. I knew what she asked. She wanted to know if it was okay if she stayed. I never sang in front of her before, and to be honest, that made me a little nervous, but at the same time, it felt like something she should see. Her mother at ease like this. I nodded at her, then focused on her mother, pretending she wasn’t there.

  It was best that way.

  “Did you bind off the other hat?” I asked.

  “I did.” She smiled. “It’s there.”

  She motioned to the right. There was a pile of baby hats. I wondered idly what Sarah did with them all. “Nice.”

  “Sing to me?” She yawned, covering her mouth. Despite her bravado, it was late, and she was tired. By the end of the song, she’d more than likely be asleep.

  “Any requests?” I asked teasingly, knitting.

  “The one about him loving the girl till they’re old.”

  That could be a handful of Ed Sheeran songs, but I went with the one that fit best. Swallowing hard, I glanced at Sarah, who leaned against the corner watching me, and then focused on her mother again. She’s not there. Not listening.

  I sang to Mrs. Lopez, keeping my voice pleasantly low, working my way through the whole song. Her eyes started to drift shut, so I started over, knowing from experience if I changed songs it would jar her awake. As her breathing evened out, and her face relaxed, I tucked her in, knowing she was sound asleep and would remain that way for the evening.

  Then, and only then, I glanced at Sarah.

  She watched me, her hand pressed to her mouth, tears running down her cheeks. She looked so beautiful standing there, overcome with emotion, and try as I might, I couldn’t break eye contact. I continued singing, but at some point, my song stopped being for her mother, and became a song for her. A promise to the girl I used to love, and the woman she’d become.

  Setting the knitting aside, I crossed the room, singing the last words as I closed the distance between us. As I finished, she took a shuddering breath, dropping her hand from her mouth. Trembling, she offered it to me, and I took it without hesitation. She led me out in the hallway, and I quietly closed the door behind us. All the lights in the house were off, so I could only assume we were alone. “Grace?” I asked.

  “Gone,” she said. We stood in the hallway, silence and darkness surrounding us. “Do you do that often? Sing her to sleep?” she asked, her voice thick with emotion.

  I nodded, then remembered she couldn’t see me. “Yes. I hope you don’t mind.”

  “I don’t.” A brief silence. “And the knitting?”

  “Yeah, that, too.”

  “I donate the hats to Somerton Hospital. They give them to babies and sick kids…” She shifted closer to me. I couldn’t see her, but I could sense it. “She just keeps knitting them for no one.”

  “Not no one.” I reached through the darkness, searching out and finding her cheek. “You.”

  “Baby me. Not me.” She swallowed and leaned into my hand. “She likes you.”

  “I like her, too.”

  Silence, and then: “I like you.”

  “I…” My heart sped up and I flexed my jaw. “I like you, too.”

  Without warning, she closed the distance between us, rose on her tiptoes, and pressed her mouth to mine. I knew I should stop. Knew this was bad. Yet…I could no sooner stop breathing.

  Gripping her hips, I kissed her back, my heart thudding against my ribs. Something broke through my subconscious—a bang, or a creak of the house—and I jerked away. “Sarah—”

  “I know we shouldn’t, and I know we can’t be together, but seeing you with my mom like that…” She swallowed and tightened her grip on me. “I don’t care anymore. About any of it. Right here, right now, in the dark… I need you, Ben. I have made a habit to not need anyone, to never need anyone again, but I’m telling you… I need you.”

  Twenty-Seven

  Sarah

  His mouth covered mine, and he spun me so my back pressed against the wall as he hauled me into his arms. I instinctively wrapped my body around his, holding tight and refusing to let go. Being with Ben allowed me to feel alive. Now, more than ever, I wish I could go back in time, slap myself across the face, and make myself see that Ben hadn’t cheated on me. If I’d never left, we could have been together all these years, and we never would have been apart.

  I never would have met Vinnie. I never would have spent months terrified of him, and what he’d do to me. I never would have lost myself, or given it all to him. I wouldn’t fear for my life right now. But, then again, each road we took in life led us somewhere. Sometimes the destination was nice, sometimes it wasn’t, and in this case, I might have gotten Vinnie on that road…but I’d also found a strength inside myself when I decided to walk away.

  I’d grown stronger.

  That mistake, that road, had made me who I was today. Could I really regret that? Maybe, just maybe, if I had stayed here, we would have broken up, and we wouldn’t be together now.

  Life was crazy like that.

  You never knew what you were going to get.

  His hand slid down my hip and grabbed my butt, holding me in place as he thrust against me. I groaned, pressing even closer to him despite the clothes in our way. His fingers ghosted over my core, teasing me, but not fully touching.

  He was everything I ever wanted. Everything I ever needed—and I needed him now. No foreplay. No gentle touches. Just him, inside of me, making me feel alive. “Ben. Now.”

  Nodding, he fumbled with his pants, undoing his belt. They hit the floor, as did his boxers. As he slid my panties out of the way, he touched me, spreadin
g the wetness over my core. When I moaned, he did it again, and again, urging me to let go and allow him to bring me to pleasure. The faster his fingers moved, the more I writhed against him and the wall, grasping for something I knew only he could give me. When I came, stars bursting in front of my eyes, I gasped, riding his thumb as I came down from heaven.

  “So fucking hot,” he growled. He rolled a condom on and pressed the tip of his cock against me. His mouth melded to mine, and he thrust inside me with one smooth motion. I cried out, threading my hands through his hair as he withdrew, paused, and pushed inside me again. My stomach fisted, tightening into a ball, and I clung to him as each thrust brought me closer to that pinnacle I had just reached moments before. When I came, he was right there with me, moaning my name as he rested his forehead against mine.

  We stayed there like that for an unknown amount of time. Neither of us breaking contact, or the silence. He was the first to shift away. It was too dark to see, but I felt his eyes on me. “You okay?”

  I nodded. “Better than okay. Great.”

  He touched my cheek. “Me too.”

  I hesitated. “But…”

  “We both know what the but is.”

  Nodding, I closed my eyes. “Don’t worry, we won’t tell anyone. No one will know.”

  “That’ll only work for so long,” he said, his tone low. “You know that, right?”

  I sucked in a breath. “I do.”

  “Eventually, someone will notice. They’ll see the way I look at you, or how my eyes always follow you around a room. They do, you know. I always watch you, even when I try not to.” His knuckles brushed my mouth. “When you’re near, I need to look at you. I can’t help it.”

  I swallowed hard, saying nothing. Truth is, I wasn’t sure what to say.

  “Sarah…?”

  I opened my eyes. “Yeah?”

  “What we have between us…it’s real. This isn’t just me fucking around, or having a fling. For me? It’s you. It’s always been you.”

  We were entering dangerous territory here, but with him buried inside of me, and the darkness surrounding us, I couldn’t help but be honest. “It’s always been you, too, for me.”

  He let out a small laugh, and pressed his mouth to mine. I clung to him, happiness taking over me, and for the first time since coming back…hope, too. I was hopeful that this could end happy, that we could find a way out of being partners, and be together. That as partners, we could catch Vinnie, and the threat of him harming me would be over.