“Alijah, you’re the boss. You want to go to trial, so that’s what we are going to do. I need everything that you know about Somers, Coleman, and your wife. They are going to testify, so I need to know every little detail about them.”
“Man, whatever the fuck you say. I’m out!” I turned to leave.
“Mr. Jackson . . .”
I heard the fool hollering my name, but I kept on walking. I was over that Johnny Cochran-ass nigga. I can’t believe that he suggested that I roll on my niggas. I will die before I ever become a rat. Fuck that; in my world, it was death before dishonor.
I arrived back in my cell and lay down on my bunk. I skipped over lunch and dinner. You can say that I lost my appetite; plus, I needed the time to just kick back and analyze my life. I wonder how I got so reckless and did not see the signs and let these fuck niggas in my life. This was one of those times I wish Darryl were here. I needed my brother more than anything.
I tried to fall asleep, but I couldn’t. All I could think about was that I wanted to kill all three of them motherfuckas, nothing rushed. I want to torture them, throw gasoline on them, and then set them on fire. I want them to feel my wrath in the extreme.
“Ahhhh!” I screamed out, not giving a fuck that it was lockdown time.
“Jackson, hold that noise down,” the fat, white CO shouted at me.
“Nigga, fuck you,” I yelled back.
“Watch your mouth. I will throw yo’ ass in the hole. This is your last chance,” he said and walked off.
“My yute go suck yuh madda,” I said.
If this nigga knew what was best for him, he’d keep it moving. I felt homicidal and suicidal, and I was ready to pop off on whoever the fuck wants it.
Chapter Seventeen
Sierra Rogers
The days moved in slow motion. It had only been two weeks since Alijah got locked up, and it felt like two years. We spoke daily on the telephone. That was our only way to keep our love alive. I missed having him around; I missed his laughter and just having him around, period. At times, I open up the closet just to stare at his clothes. I even grab his favorite robe and inhale his masculine scent. I would do anything just to have him home with me.
Our son was steadily growing. He was two weeks old and already started to favor his daddy with those high cheekbones and big brown eyes. The only thing that he took after me was his nose. Jeanette said he resembled me when I was a baby, but what did she know? She was too high back then to remember what I looked like.
Mo’ came through, and we hung out in the living room. We smoked two blunts and drank some Alizé. I told her I was ready to come back to work. I was tired of sitting in the house every day. It was driving me insane. Once I go back to work, I’ll be busy, and my mind will be occupied. I missed doing hair; it was my passion ever since I was young. I wasn’t going to overdo it. I’ll start off with two or three days until Azir gets older.
* * *
I knocked on Jeanette’s door. I have no earthly idea why she kept her door locked, even though it’s only the two of us in the house.
“Come in.”
“Hey, I need to talk to you about something.”
“Sit down.” She motioned for me to sit on her bed.
“No, I’m good. I was thinking about going back to the salon for a few days at a time. I was also thinking of hiring a babysitter to help out whenever you have to go to your program.”
“Oh, OK. I thought with all that’s going on you’d stay home for a while.”
“No, I need to keep busy. I don’t have Alijah here, so I need to make money and get my independence back.”
“I understand where you’re coming from. You know I’ll help out with him. I don’t like no babysitter, but it’s your call, chile.”
“I’m going to put an ad in the newspaper so I can find somebody. I need references, ’cause God forbid anything happen to my son. I will kill me a bitch.”
“Get someone that’s experienced with babies, because not everybody have patience with them.”
“I got this, trust me. I’ll be thorough; I’m not green. This is my first child, but I know how to be careful,” I said before I left the room.
For some strange reason, I still felt some kind of way whenever she tries to tell me what she believes to be right. In my mind, I often wonder where she got all this experience from, ’cause it wasn’t from being a parent to me.
The next day I placed the ad in the newspaper. I was looking for a female, age thirty-five or older. Three to five years’ experience working with newborns. She must have a driver’s license and a CPR Certification. I placed my name and contact information so the person can call and set up an interview.
Shayna Jackson
It was weeks, and I still was mourning the loss of my daddy. At times I would stand over his urn which I kept on my dresser. I threw Mama’s urn in the closet. She was always so jealous of the relationship between Daddy and me. She used to fuss at him, claiming that he spoiled me. I’ve never fully understood why she couldn’t just allow him to be a good daddy, even if it meant him rubbing my thighs when I would sit on his lap. I even loved when he asked me to kiss “Big Larry” on the tip of the head. See, Daddy and I shared secrets that only we knew about. I wouldn’t dare expose them to anyone outside of us. Daddy was gone, and my lips are sealed.
* * *
I had a briefing with the feds, and to my surprise, things were moving along smoothly. I was excited because this time, Alijah won’t be able to step foot outside of those prison walls. He will be there for the rest of his sick life. Even though I would’ve preferred the electric chair for him, I’ll settle for life imprisonment.
This was the reason why I never trusted the government in the first place. Their asses were two-faced. I already gave them the big man and his crew, but earlier, they informed me that the investigation was not over, and in order for me not to get charged with attempted murder and conspiracy, I had to do one more thing for them. You should’ve seen my damn face when that Spanish bitch said that.
This bitch just did not know how close I came to slapping off that smirk she walked around with on her face. The only thing that saved her is that she’s a United States of America Certified Whore. The bitch went on to tell me what the hell it was that I was supposed to be doing. I busted out laughing midway through her speech. Just a second ago, I wanted to beat that ass, and here I was, seconds later, thinking that bitch was brilliant. I mean, only a bitch of my status could think of such a detailed plan. I hate to admit it, but I loved it.
I was ready for the challenge with my own twist and turns, so I gladly accepted the offer. I left the office, feeling rejuvenated and ready to play the leading role of my lifetime. This was going to be epic; the wife and bottom bitch showdown!
Sierra Rogers
Alijah was arraigned and officially charged with twenty-eight counts of murder and other charges. Basically, they were charging him with being the head nigga in charge. I’ve heard of niggas being charged with crimes before, but never that many charges. Common sense told me that for each count of murder, that was definitely a life sentence.
A bad feeling filled my stomach, and sour water gathered in my mouth. I knew that feeling all too well. I got up and rushed out of the courtroom. I barely made it to the bathroom where I emptied every bit of food that I consumed earlier into the toilet. Cold sweat invaded my body as I knelt on the floor beside the toilet. I was feeling weak and nauseated. I had to get myself together, so I stood up slowly and walked over to the sink and washed my face. I opened my purse and took out one of the Percocet, which the doctor prescribed for me, and popped it. I had no idea how I would’ve managed if I didn’t have those pills. They’ve helped me get through the difficult times. I wiped my face with the paper towel and dragged myself out of the bathroom.
His case was still in progress. My mind, heart, and soul couldn’t take another second of that U.S. District Attorney degrading Alijah like he was the scum of the earth. Obv
iously, they didn’t know the man. He was my lover, my friend, and my son’s father, and not the monster that they’re making him out to be. Finally, I made it out of the courthouse and got into my car and returned home.
I had received numerous calls about child care, so I sat on the sofa and called people back one by one. I was down to the last name. This woman left me a message, and the way she sounded, I could tell she was middle-aged. Her voice was soft and warm. I called her, and we set up an appointment for the next morning.
I woke up early and bathed Azir. The little things he does often put a smile on my face and brought me out of my state of darkness. I got dressed and walked downstairs to fix a cup of ginger tea. Jeanette was sitting in the living room watching the news. I made my tea, then joined her in there.
Minutes later, the doorbell rang. I walked over to open the door, but first I peeped through the peephole. I saw a middle-aged woman standing in the cold, so I opened the door to let her in.
“Hello, you must be Ms. Sadie?”
“Yes, yes, and you must be Sierra. Nice to meet you.”
I extended my arm and shook her hand.
“Step in, out of the cold.”
I walked into the living room with her in pursuit.
“This is Jeanette. She also lives here.”
“Hello, nice to meet you,” she said, turning to Jeanette.
“Please sit down. Like I said in my ad, I’m looking for a babysitter for my son. He’s six weeks old. I’ll be going back to work, and I need someone who can be here three to four days out of the week, depending on Jeanette’s and my schedules.”
“Oh yes, I understand. I am a retired pediatric nurse and just recently widowed, so I need the position to get me out of the house, plus supplement my income.”
“How many years of experience do you have working with newborns?”
“Well, let’s see. I’ve worked at Bon Secours St. Mary’s Hospital for over fifteen years before I started to do private duty. I have a degree in nursing. I can tell you, I devote my life helping little ones because they are helpless at that age.”
I sat there trying to listen and also analyze her to see if she showed any signs of craziness.
“Well, did you get fired or have any complaints filed against you?” Jeanette interrupted.
“Stop, I’m handling this.”
“Hell, we need the truth. You must not watch the news. These crazy-ass people be hurting these babies.”
“That’s fine; I totally understand your friend’s concern. I will be more than happy to answer all questions.”
“Nah, you don’t need to, and Jeanette is my mother, not my friend; please excuse her behavior,” I said.
I then looked Jeanette dead in her eyes. She knew I was not playing. Azir was my child, and I could hire whoever the fuck I want.
“OK, OK, I’m gone.” She stood up and put her hands in the air and pranced out.
“I’m sorry about that. Do you have a copy of your driver’s license and the police record that I requested?”
She handed them to me. I wrote down her full name and address in my notebook. I had to be careful who I brought up in my house to watch over my angel.
“Well, I thought you were married. I hope I’m not prying.”
“I’m not married, but I have a significant other who’s out of town for a while.”
“I see. He must be a special guy. Your face lit up as you spoke about him.”
“Yes . . . Alijah is a special kind of guy. I really miss him; I can’t wait for him to come home.”
“My William was also a great guy. Unfortunately, the cancer took him away from me and the girls. We really miss him,” she said while choking up.
“I’m sorry for your loss. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.”
“Thanks, dear, it is so hard to find real love.”
“Tell me about it. Alijah is my first love, and I went through hell and back just to have him, but I will say it was worth it,” I said with a smile plastered on my face.
“He sounds like a winner. Hold on to him because these days, good men are so hard to find.”
“I will.”
There was something about her face that seemed so familiar, like we’ve met before. I tried to rack my brain. I just couldn’t recall.
“Ms. Sadie, your face looks familiar. Have we met before?”
“Really? No, I’m good with faces, and I, my dear, would’ve remembered a pretty face like yours. You know the saying: we all have a twin running around,” she chuckled.
“Yea, you right about that. OK, if you take the job, I will pay you four hundred per week.”
“God bless you, my dear. I prayed for help, and here you are. I will definitely take care of your little gem.”
“How soon can you start?”
“As soon as you want me to.”
“How about tomorrow? I’ll be here, but this will give you a chance to see how I do things, and you will get to meet Azir.”
“Sure thing. I will be here bright and early.”
“OK, great. Thank you. I look forward to having you around.”
We sat around and talked for a little while; then she left. I was optimistic about the interview. She had the experience, plus her police record was clean. I had a feeling that Azir was going to be in great hands.
Chapter Eighteen
Sierra Rogers
The nanny was on time, which was a big plus in my eyes. Azir was wide awake, so I introduced him to her. She fell in love instantly.
“Oh my goodness, he is sooo handsome.” Her eyes lit up bright like the sun. A part of me felt at ease.
“I take it he favors his daddy?”
“Yup, he looks just like him. The only thing he got from me is my nose.”
“Babies are such a blessing. Can I hold him?”
“Sure.” I handed Azir to her.
Our first day went smoothly. I paid full attention to the way she interacted with him. He was smiling from ear to ear as she rocked him. I peeped how relaxed he was when she sang “Jesus Loves Me.” If I had any doubt about her before, they were erased. She was a good fit for him.
Jeanette, on the other hand, was not buying into that sweet old lady persona.
“Sierra, I’m telling you, there’s something about that woman that ain’t right. I just can’t put my finger on it,” she warned.
“Jeanette, let’s be honest. You did not like that woman since the day she stepped foot in here. I have a feeling you’re kind of jealous.”
“Jealous? Hmm, there you go again attacking me. All I am saying is, don’t let your guard down.”
“Every time I say something, you accuse me of attacking you. Listen, lady, it’s my son, so I can hire whoever the hell I want to. You’re in my house, so you don’t have to like her, but you will respect her while she’s in here caring for my damn son.”
“Excuse me, everybody knows by now that this is your house and he’s your son. I didn’t ask to come here, so if you don’t want me here, just say it, instead of coming at me sideways. I might’ve fucked up, but I am not a fucking child, and I refuse to be treated like one!”
She walked off before I could get another word in. She was lucky that the woman was there and I wasn’t going to put others in our business. I was mad because I really wanted to serve her ass.
* * *
It was Friday, and it was my second day at the salon. My first day back was great. Mo’ and some of my clients surprised me when I walked through the door. It was really nice to see people that have been supporting the business from day one. I also enjoyed being in Mo’s presence. We laughed and talked in between clients. The new girl Joslyn seemed cool. It was weird having another stylist around, but Mo’ needed the help, and I wasn’t back full time. For the time being, she served her purpose.
It’s been almost a week since I’ve spoken to Alijah. I tried calling the jail, but all they would tell me was that he was still there. I called his lawyer to find o
ut if he had an idea of what was going on. He informed me that Alijah was fine, and he wasn’t sure why he wasn’t calling home.
I waited for visitation day to roll around; then I drove up to the jail. I waited for them to call my name and was finally motioned to go to the desk . . . where I was informed that he was not accepting visitors. I stood there dumbfounded. Then I just turned around and walked out with my son.
See, this was the situation. I just drove forty-five minutes to go see that nigga, and that selfish-ass nigga denied my visit. I stormed off to my car. “God!” I did not know why I tried so hard to be a good woman to his sorry behind, and he still felt the need to carry me. I swear that I was tired of his bullshit.
I strapped my baby in his car seat and headed on down the road. I kept questioning God, and still no answer. I swore on my child from that day on I was going to focus on my son. I was done being Alijah’s doormat. He really thought it was OK to turn off his feelings as he pleases. “Well, no fucking more,” I said as I hit the steering wheel. I had spent my whole life crying, feeling abandoned, and used. Fuck that. I will not let another person think that they can do whatever they want with me. Well, Sierra Rogers has news for them. It was fucking over!
I stopped by the shop for a little. Mo’ wanted to see her god-baby.
“Here’s some clothes for him. I was at the mall yesterday, and I couldn’t resist.” She handed me the bag as soon as I entered the store.
As usual, she bought him some more clothes. This little boy was going to be spoiled. He already had too many clothes in his closet.
“Girl, if you buy another piece of clothing for this boy, I’m going to scream.”
“You just jealous. That’s my god-baby, and I will buy whatever I want. Ain’t that right, sugar pooh?” she said while she tickled Azir.
“Sierra, you a’ight? You look like you been crying.”
“Mo’, I drove all the way cross the bridge to see this nigga, and he denied my visit,” I said before I busted out crying.
Even More Wifey Status Page 15