Twisted Souls

by L. L. Collins

  “So can I get up?” I know I really don’t need to ask, all I have to do is move and the sand will collapse. But since I am being ‘punished’, I decide to play along with the game.

  Blake looks around, not answering me. I watch him, wondering what is going through that head of his. “Blake?”

  “Can I ask you a question? And can you give me an honest answer?” He still isn’t looking at me, and that makes me squirm under the sand. Blake always looks at me when he talks.

  Finally, his eyes meet mine while he waits for me to answer. When I see the look on his face, the open feelings he is wearing for me to see, I know I have to answer him. And I have to listen to whatever he wants to say, and be truthful.

  “Yes,” I breathe out. “I’ll be as honest as you want me to be, Blake.” I owe him that.

  “I’m scared to hear this answer,” he admits. “But for some strange reason, I’m still going to ask it.”

  WHAT AM I doing? I’ve completely lost my mind. We’ve had a great day together, and I’ve only wanted to kiss her 1,000 times today. Or 1,000,000. I lost count. But there’s something about seeing her buried in all that sand, her eyes following my every move that makes me want to talk to her. I mean, really talk to her. We’ve talked about everything but the giant elephant on the beach since we saw each other yesterday. And I know I’m not one-sided in this. Not this time. While before I was a dumb kid and didn’t handle things the right way, this time I know it is different.

  But she has just broken up with her boyfriend. Correction, the jerk dumped her so he could go be a player. What kind of moron is he? I already know with 100% certainty that if she allows me to be her boyfriend, she could live on the moon and I wouldn’t break up with her. I would make whatever work, just to be with her; to see that smile when she thinks no one is looking. I want to be the reason for that secret smile. And maybe I am. But I have to find out.

  I can’t help the panic that infiltrates my thoughts as I wonder how she would’ve acted with me if Ronan hadn’t just broken up with her. Would this tension still exist in between us? Would she have been the one to tell him that she wanted a ‘break’? I know what I hoped, but I’m not sure what she would’ve done had the situation been different.

  “Blake?” There I go, spacing out again.

  “Sorry,” I laugh. “This kind of thing doesn’t usually work out well for me.” I’m not trying to make her feel guilty, I‘m really not. But when I see the look cross her face, I know I have inadvertently hurt her feelings. I need to start talking before I find myself under a pile of proverbial quicksand.

  I blow out a long breath, willing myself to start talking before I get up and run back to my condo and lock the door, leaving her buried in the sand. That would go over well.

  “Blake,” she says, saving me. “Let me start, okay?” I look at her, wide-eyed, wondering how she knows what I’m going to say and if this is going to be her shooting me down again. “First, I know we’ve kind of never talked about what happened other than you apologizing and me kind of blowing it off and pretending like it never happened. But I should be the one apologizing for that, not you.” I start to interrupt when she shushes me.

  “I know we were both young. But I didn’t handle the situation correctly at all. I’m so fortunate I didn’t lose you because of the way I acted. I was immature, selfish, and just plain rude to you. I’m sorry, Blake. You mean so much to me, I would never want to hurt you like that for being honest with me. I always want you to feel like you can be honest with me, and that’s what I want to tell you now. What happened to us then won’t ever happen again, no matter what. I’ll never turn my back on you and treat you like you don’t matter.”

  Is she giving me the green light to admit it? Is she admitting that she feels it, too? Oh, this whole thing is giving me a headache. From this point forward, it is either going to be an amazing two weeks or awkward. But I’d held on to this for too long; it is beyond time.

  “Thank you,” I start. “We were both young, and I didn’t handle that the best way. But I’ve learned a lot from that, actually. About how to treat you, and what you deserve. I’ve gone out with enough girls to know what kind of person I want to surround myself with. And I know that we’re both headed in totally different directions in our lives. But, I’m not afraid for that.” What I don’t say is, unlike Ronan. But I wanted to. But nowhere in this discussion did I want his name to come up.

  Her mouth is frozen in a small O, her eyes locked on mine as she waits for me to continue. “Can I get up?” she whispers. I realize she is still immobile under a bunch of sand, and I feel like a tool. What in the heck is wrong with you, McIntrye? Here you’re trying to bare your heart to her, and you can’t even remember to be a gentleman and allow the girl to sit up.

  “I’m sorry,” I laugh, scooping some of the sand away from her so she can stick her arms out. We spend a minute in silence while she unburies herself.

  “Better,” she laughs, crossing her legs and resting back on her hands in the sand. “Go ahead,” she says softly.

  I can do this. I’m the one that started this, yet again, and I have to follow through. Brooke and Brianna had left us for a reason; I’d promised them I would finally say it to her. “I don’t think there’s anything in this world that could stop me from being your best friend, Li. You’re such an amazing person. It’s hard to believe we’ve grown up together. I feel like you know me better than anyone else in my life, and you’re always encouraging me and believing in my dreams without question.” I pause, waiting to see any reaction from her to see if she knows where I’m going with this.

  “I feel the same way,” she says, moving her hand so it covers mine. I scoot closer so our knees are almost touching. “There’s no one in this world that knows me like you. Not my sister, my mom, not even Gretchen. Our friendship is one in a million.”

  “The thing is,” I start. “I don’t think that it has to just stop with friendship. I think the greatest relationships I’ve seen have started as friends. Great friends. Best friends. Look at our parents. Both of our parents were friends before they were a couple. What great examples we have in them.” I swallow. This is it. “I want to be your everything, Liane Kelly. It started for me a long time ago, and has only gotten stronger since. When I see you, it’s like my life is complete and everything is right in the world. You put my world back on its axis, Li. I know you’ve had a bad breakup. But I think the universe brought both of us right here, right now, together for a reason.”

  My chest is heaving like I had just run a marathon. Here I am, on the same beach with the same girl, fast forward four years, having almost the same conversation. Except this time, I’m not letting her run away. And if I read her signals right, she isn’t going to run.

  “Blake,” she cries, and that’s when I notice it. Tears, streaming out of her eyes like a dam that has broken a levee. Before I can overthink why she is crying, she flings her sandy body onto mine, burying her face into my neck. I clutch onto her, wondering if this is a good thing or not. But she isn’t running back to the condo, so that is a step, right?

  “Liane,” I whisper, smoothing her hair back from her face. “Talk to me. What’s going through your head?”

  She tips her face back so I can see the red rims around her eyes. But she has the biggest smile on her face that I have ever seen, right before she presses her lips to mine. Fireworks explode in my chest as her lips move on mine. God, this is heaven; right here, right now. Just a beat behind her, I lift her chin with one hand and pull her to me with the other, my lips moving on hers like a thirsty man finding an oasis. A small whimper escapes between her lips, and I swear it takes everything in me not to go beyond kissing her right now. My mind starts reeling, wondering if she is going to pull back and say she can’t do this, that she is just my friend.

  I try my best to concentrate on her lips and her tongue as it begins to caress mine. Oh, my god. Now I know I have died and gone to Heaven. I’ve kissed a lot of girls
in my eighteen years. But none, absolutely none, like her. She is equal parts shy and assertive, her small hands caressing my arms and chest as we continue kissing like it is the last time. Or the first. Or the beginning of the rest of our lives full of kisses.

  I have no idea how long we touch each other’s faces, memorizing each detail about each other. One or the other of us would break our kiss momentarily to look at each other before going right back to where we were before. If I am dreaming, I never in my life want to wake up. My dream has come true. Liane Kelly is kissing me. I am kissing her. She isn’t running away from me. She’s mine. I will never let go again.

  “I need to hear it,” I whisper against her lips. We have been out here so long that it is now dark. I can only see the part of her illuminated by the moonlight, but I don’t need to see her. I have her memorized; every single curve is etched into my long-term memory.

  “You’re my best friend,” she whispers against my lips. I tense. No way. She isn’t going to pull the friend card now. “And everything to me. When I saw you yesterday, I knew I wasn’t making it two weeks without telling you my feelings. The worst part? All those years ago, I had the same feelings. I was just afraid. What you said makes a lot of sense. Things happen for a reason. And while I don’t want to say his name right now in this moment, maybe he did me a favor. No. He did do me a favor. Because he felt threatened by you our entire relationship. He probably saw how I really felt about you. I never wanted our friendship to suffer because things like this get messy. I just can’t ever lose you.”

  “You won’t ever lose me,” I whisper, kissing her again just because I can. “I love you too much to let you go, Liane.” She gasps, her eyes widening as I say the words. Yes, I said them. I’m not holding anything back anymore.

  She wraps her arms around me, pressing her lips to my neck before putting them up to my ear. “I think I’ve loved you my entire life,” she admits. And I might’ve just turned in my man card, but tears come into my eyes with her admission, and I’m darn proud of them.

  I HAD TO thank Brooke and Brianna for keeping anyone from looking for us for dinner. I can’t even believe that the last two hours happened, but Liane’s fingers wrapped tightly in mine on our way back to our condos is proof enough that it happened. My stomach is growling, but I will gladly starve for the next two weeks if it means I can kiss Liane like that anytime I want.

  We reach the door to her condo, where we can hear everyone laughing inside. They are probably playing board games or cards, also a McIntyre-Kelly tradition. If I had to guess, there’s some wine and beer involved, too.

  “You ready for this?” I ask, holding up our joined hands. I want nothing more than to get on the roof of the condos and shout with a megaphone that she is mine, but I will never push her. She is the one that just days ago had been put through hell. If I am honest with myself, I’m still worried about that. What if Ronan comes back and says he’s sorry? What will she do? Are we strong enough to go up against her long-term boyfriend?

  She smiles, and my heart stutters. “I’m not ashamed, if that’s what you’re asking. If I had to guess, our families will probably say finally.”

  I grin. “Mine already know. Brooke and Bri were in on tonight, and my parents have known for years how I feel about you. I’m sure since our parents are best friends that yours already knew, too. There are no secrets between the McIntyre’s and the Kelly’s.”

  “Well then,” she laughs. “What are we waiting for, then?”

  I push the door open and immediately seven sets of eyes swing to us. Well, it’s now or never. I see my mom look immediately to our joined hands, a smile playing on her lips. She reaches over and taps my dad’s hand, making him smile. Yet no one says anything. Talk about awkward.

  “Where’s the food?” I joke, trying to alleviate what Liane must be feeling with everyone staring at us. “We’re starving.”

  “I bet you are,” Brooke jokes back. “Get everything worked out?”

  I look over at Liane and she smiles. “I would say we finally got it right,” she says to our families, and I want to jump up and down. Brooke and Brianna run over to us, hugging us both. As we pull apart, I see the misty eyes of my mom, and the smile on my father’s face. They’ve always loved Liane like she was theirs, and had encouraged me over the years to not worry about it, that it would all work out. They never told me it was dumb or that we are too young to know what love is; and I attribute the fact that I finally got the girl with their unwavering support, no matter what happened with us. If I had to guess, they’d probably talked to Liane’s parents about this as well.

  Liane’s parents and mine share a knowing look, smiles across the board. Not that I am worried, but it always makes you feel better once you get the parental approval.

  “There’s burgers in the microwave for you, and potato salad in the refrigerator.” I wink at Liane and let go of her hand.

  “I’ll get us both a plate if you want to sit down.” She nods, looking back at me one more time before she joins our families at the large table. Standing in the kitchen, I know I’m there to get us food, but all I can do is look at her. She tucks her blonde hair behind her ear, smiling at something my sister just whispered to her. As if she felt me looking at her, she looks back up at me and our eyes meet across the room. My heart skips at the way she’s looking at me; it’s like nothing I’ve ever seen from anyone. She smiles, and it isn’t the ‘you’re my best friend and I love you’ look. It’s… sensual. Secretive. Like we share a secret that no one can be let in on. I can’t stop myself; I blow her a small kiss that no one but her sees. She blushes, and it makes me giddy. I want to bounce up and down on the pads of my feet like I did Christmas morning when I was a little boy.

  BLAKE PUTS THE plate of food he made for me on the table in front of me, then makes his sister move so he can sit next to me. While he had been in the kitchen, his sister Brooke had whispered, “Finally,” into my ear. His other sister Brianna had just smiled, and Bennett had been oblivious. My mom had squeezed my hand, her smile saying everything, and Blake’s mom, my ‘Aunt’ Cathy had winked at me. They all knew.

  I can’t even believe what has happened in the last hour. Or two. However long it has been since we finally said what needed to be said on the beach. I can’t even believe it. Just over twenty-four hours ago, I was seeing Blake for the first time in years. Just days ago, I was being dumped by the person I thought I was going to marry. Ronan. I didn’t want to be ‘that’ girl; the one that rebounded and jumped into another relationship. I truly had thought Ronan was it for me. But I knew for the last many years that Blake and I were fighting something beyond our friendship. Not that I would’ve ever done anything with Blake while still being with Ronan, but… oh, I was so confused.

  All I know is my life is completely changed, and it’s for the better. While a part of me will always love Ronan and what he has been for me, I feel like what Blake said is true. Things happen for a reason, and here we are, sitting around a table with both of our families, his hand resting on my thigh. Blake McIntyre isn’t my best friend anymore. Friends don’t kiss and touch the way we had on the beach. There are so many things I feel I need to process. I need to talk to someone, to make sure I’m not making a bad decision. I would never admit it to Blake, but five days is fast to decide to move on with someone. Hurting him isn’t an option, so I need to do this right.

  Blake rubs his fingers lightly on my thigh, causing me to look up at him. “You okay?” he mouths. He always could read me, and I’m sure right now he’s thinking that I’m having second thoughts. I’m not. I just want to make sure I don’t break his heart, because it would be the worst thing in the world to lose him. Way worse than losing Ronan.

  I nod, covering his hand with mine. I still can’t believe Blake is sitting here with his hand on my leg, caressing me like we’ve been a couple forever. And no one seems to mind. It’s so surreal to me. I pick up my fork, pushing my potato salad around my plate. I know I need to eat
, but my stomach is in knots. I can’t screw this up.

  “Li,” his breath in my ear makes me jump. “Don’t overthink. You aren’t going to hurt me. We’ll figure out whatever we need to do together. Okay? All that matters is that we both want this, right?” I blink at him, wondering how in the heck he does stuff like that.

  I turn my face so I can look into his eyes. “How do you do that,” I whisper. Our families are playing the game, cackling with laughter around us.

  “I know everything about you,” he whispers back. “I’ve been studying you for a long time.” He winks at me, tucking a piece of my hair behind my ear. The familiar motion makes my heart clench. Ronan did that all the time to my hair. I can’t think of him now. He’s gone.

  “I can’t lose you,” I admit, tears stinging my eyes. And then, right in front of everyone, he presses his lips to mine in a soft kiss. When he pulls away, I want to look around to see if anyone is paying attention to us, but his eyes have me captivated.

  “You won’t,” he says against my lips. He then turns back to his plate and starts eating his cheeseburger, leaving me to my thoughts.

  “MOM, CAN I call Gretchen?” The condo has cleared out and while it’s after ten o’clock, I know Gretchen will still be up. After we finished eating, Blake and I had left the family table and decided to sit on the porch, listening to the waves crash onto the shore. It had been peaceful and serene, wrapped up in each other in the hammock. We hadn’t talked about anything serious; in fact, there hadn’t been much talking at all. Our newfound love for kissing each other had taken over, and it hadn’t been until Brooke came out to tell us that they were going back to their condo that we had come up for air.

  I touch my fingers to my lips, still feeling the sensation of his lips moving on mine. I’m still in disbelief. My best friend is a hottie. And he likes me. No, he loves me.