“Hi, Lia. My trip was great, thanks. You should see my dorm! It’s amazing! I hope someday you can visit me here.”
“Ronan.” I can barely contain the rage that’s been building in me all day. I had even called my mom, trying to get her to help me with Blake’s mom. But she said Cathy hadn’t told her anything more than she’d told me. It was another dead end. The answers lie with Ronan, and I’m going to find out what they are.
He sighs. “Lia, I didn’t say anything to him. I just got on the phone and told him you were down at the car.”
“You expect me to believe that, Ronan? You’ve been trying to manipulate me ever since I got back from Florida! Blake was here, Ronan! But I’m sure you already know that. What I want to know is, what did you say to him to make him leave without seeing me?”
“Liane.” I know by his tone that I’m pushing his patience, but I don’t care. He’s beyond pushing mine. So much for being friends. I don’t want anything to do with him ever again. “You can believe whatever you want, as you will anyway. But when he called, I got on the phone. He wasn’t happy to hear that I answered the phone, and we had a few words about me leaving you alone, et cetera. But he hung up on me.”
“Why didn’t you tell me he called?”
“I forgot, sweetie.”
“Don’t call me sweetie,” I spit out. “So you forgot that Blake called me, when I came back upstairs what… a few minutes later, at the most?”
“You came in with your hands full of boxes and then asked me to go get the other load from the car, so it left my mind. Then with my whole nose being broken thing… I’m sorry, Lia.”
“Did you see him when you went outside?”
“No,” he says immediately. I don’t believe him, but I know he’s not going to tell me what he did. Realization comes over me, and I gasp.
“Did he punch you? Is that how that happened? You did see him, didn’t you? You were staking some sort of claim on me, weren’t you? Is this why he won’t answer my calls? I’m done with you, Ronan Collier. Don’t ever contact me again.”
“Liane, I’m hanging up. I just got in and I have a lot to do. When you’ve calmed down and want to talk to me rationally, I’ll be here.” And he hangs up on me. That idiot that probably ruined my life again hangs up instead of answering me. I’m done with him. Forget being friends. If I never see him again, that’ll be too soon.
“He hung up on me without answering anything. He’s lying. He did this. I’ll never forgive him.” I throw myself on my bed and Kinsley comes over to soothe me.
“I’m sorry,” I laugh. “You probably think I’m some crazy kook now. I swear my life has never been like this.”
“Liane, I know I’ve only known you a few days, but I’m here for you. This whole thing is messed up. And yeah, kinda like a soap opera.” We smile at each other, the only real smile I’ve had in days.
“MAIL CALL!” KINSLEY calls, throwing an envelope on my bed. It’s been days since I grilled Ronan about Blake, and I’ve called his house two more times. No one has answered my calls. I run for the envelope, hoping and praying that it’ll be from Blake. I haven’t gotten mail from anyone yet. After all of the phone calls and letters I’ve sent him, please help it be from him, I think.
I turn it over and look at the writing, and my heart sinks. It isn’t him. There’s no return address, and the postage is from Georgia. I don’t even know anyone in Georgia.
“Who’s it from?” Kinsley asks. I shrug, sliding my finger under the flap to rip it open. I know there’s something more than paper in here by the feel of the envelope. I’d say it was sent to the wrong room but it has my name written on the outside.
Pulling the contents out of the envelope, I still wish it were somehow from Blake. I would give anything to hear his voice or see his name on a letter addressed to me. It kills me every day that I’ve done something to make him not want to talk to me anymore. He’s not even my friend now.
Pictures fall in my lap. At first, I can’t understand what I’m seeing because they’re upside down. I turn them so I can see better, and that’s when my stomach falls into my feet. Picture after picture, probably over ten of them. I can’t count because my eyes can’t fathom what my brain is processing. This is a joke. A sick, twisted joke. Blake is in all of the pictures. But he’s not alone. A beautiful dark haired girl lies with him in every picture. Neither of them are clothed, and it’s very obvious what’s gone on there. She’s smiling at him, or kissing him, or… no. I turn that picture upside down. I can’t look at this.
Kinsley realizes I’m upset and runs over to me. “What is… oh, my… god..” She lifts one up and studies it. “No way. Who sent you these?” I can’t answer her; I’m still staring at the evidence of why Blake didn’t want to talk to me or be with me anymore. Did he hate me that much that he would send me these?
She finds a small piece of paper tucked under one of the photos. She opens it up and reads, “Over you.” I snatch it from her. I have to see with my own eyes that it’s his handwriting.
“Did he write it?” she whispers, her eyes wide as she waits for my reaction.
I can’t be sure. It looks like it could be his writing, but it doesn’t look all the way right to me. “I-it must be, Kins. Look at these pictures. Why would anyone want to send me these but him? What did I do wrong? Why is he doing this to me?” I begin shaking, my body revolting against the onslaught of emotion. This isn’t Blake. He doesn’t do things like this to anyone. Especially me. But how else can I explain his erratic behavior than to accept these pictures are his last message to me? This must be what he’s doing while with his ‘friend’. Now he wants me to know that he has nothing else to say to me. I guess my only choice is to accept it.
“LIA, WAKE UP. We have to get to class.” I roll over, the nausea taking over. I’ve been up most of the night throwing up, and Kinsley had slept right through it. We’d made it through our first few weeks of classes, though barely. I hadn’t talked to Blake or Ronan for weeks. Even Blake’s sisters refuse to answer my calls. I’ve had to come to the conclusion that it is really over. With Kinsley’s prompting, I’ve even been seeing a counselor at the college to help me through this so I can focus on my classes. It’s really helping, and I’m taking small steps towards being Liane Kelly again.
Kinsley has been trying to set me up with anyone she can find to help me forget. We’ve gone out with a group of friends from our floor a few times, and she has her eye on a guy in the group. But as much as she tries to push me towards some of the cute guys, every time I look at them, all I do is compare them to Blake.
“I can’t,” I muster, even speaking making me want to throw up again. “I think whatever I ate last night gave me food poisoning. I’ve been up all night. Can you get the notes for me today?” Kinsley is in several of my classes, which is a definite bonus.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” she says. “When I come back, I’ll bring you some crackers and ginger ale. That always helps me. What did you eat last night?”
I wrack my brain, but I can’t think of it in my sleep-deprived state. “I don’t remember, but this is awful. I can’t remember feeling this bad in a really long time.”
“If you still feel like this when I get back from class, I’ll take you to the clinic. Okay?” I nod, unable to speak any more words. What would I have done if I had gotten a terrible roommate? I would’ve never survived the last few weeks. Kinsley is a life saver.
It seems like minutes when Kinsley is shaking me awake again. “Lia? How are you feeling? I’m back from class.” I look over at the clock and realize it’s after two in the afternoon. I’ve been passed out for over six hours. The positive is, I haven’t thrown up again.
“I think I’m better,” I say, attempting to sit up. When I move a few inches and I don’t feel like puking, I call it success.
“Here’s some ginger ale.” Kinsley hands me a cup. “Sip it slowly.”
“You sound like my mom,” I laugh, taking a small drink.
“And small bites of a cracker,” she instructs, winking at me. “Homework’s not too bad today, thankfully. Want to watch a movie or something?”
“Yes.” I know there’s no way I’m doing any work today. I continue sipping the soda and nibbling on crackers, hoping it stays down. “No romance movies.” I know I can’t handle them. While Kinsley rifles through her movies to find one that’s suitable, I pull my paper out. I know Kinsley said I could use her computer, but since I haven’t spoken to Blake, I have no idea if he has an email or what it is.
“What are you doing?”
“I have to write to him again, even if he never responds. He has to know.”
Kinsley nods, knowing she’s not talking me out of it. She chooses something and puts it in the VHS player, settling back on her bed with some potato chips, candy, and a coke. The sight of them makes me want to throw up, and I close my eyes against the sensation.
I stare at the blank paper, wondering what I can say to him that will make him understand. No matter what, I can’t give up on getting through to him.
MY STOMACH HASN’T been right in weeks. I’ve barely been able to eat, and I know that I’ve lost weight. Ever since that bout of food poisoning, I haven’t felt the same. I’m going home this weekend for a visit, and I’m hoping that some home cooking by my mom will help what’s wrong with my stomach. College food isn’t exactly helpful, either.
“I’ll miss you this weekend,” Kinsley says as I nibble on my new dietary staple, saltine crackers. “There’s an epic party this weekend at one of the frat houses. I can’t remember which one. All those letters confuse me.” We start laughing, and I shake my head at her. She’s such a nut.
“I’m sure you’ll have a lot of fun without me,” I answer, closing my eyes against another wave of nausea.
“Lia,” Kinsley says. “Why don’t you let me take you to the clinic. This has been long enough, sweetie. How long are you going to suffer? Maybe whatever you ate has given you some sort of crazy infection or something and you need antibiotics!”
“Eh, I’ll be fine,” I say. “Once I go home and my mom cooks, I’ll be good as new. But thanks, Kins. I guess it’s a good diet plan.” I pat my stomach. “I think I’ve dropped a few pounds.”
“Oh please. Like you need to have a diet plan. Hey, can I ask you a really personal question?”
I stop, turning to look at her. We talk about everything, so I’m not sure what she wants to ask me that would be more personal than what we’ve already shared. “Of course. Anything.”
“You said you were on the pill, right? And you still take it?”
“I was on it for two years but I stopped taking it once I didn’t have a boyfriend anymore. No real reason to be protected when you have nothing going on, if you know what I mean.”
“Have you had your period?”
“What’s this all about, Kins?” I’m seriously confused on where she’s going with this.
She puts her bag down and walks over to me, taking my hands in hers. I’ve never seen her look so serious. “I had a friend that got pregnant our senior year of high school. Was on the pill. And they used a condom. She acted a lot like you do every day. Is it possible, Lia? Could you be pregnant?”
The room spins, and the last thing I see is Kinsley’s concerned face as she catches me.
KINSLEY GRIPS MY hand as we wait on the doctor, neither of us wanting to voice what is happening here. Once I’d come to in her arms, she had made sure I wasn’t going to pass out again, and then we’d made our way to the clinic on campus. Filling out the paperwork, I had almost thrown up when it had asked for last menstrual period. I couldn’t even remember, and that had sent me into a fit of tears.
My hands had been shaking uncontrollably as I’d handed the papers back to the receptionist. When they put me in the room and told me the doctor would be with me soon, I’d had to run to the trash can and lose the crackers I had eaten. This isn’t happening, right? I’m just sick. I can’t be one of those girls that’s eighteen and knocked up and she has no idea who the father is because she has slept with two guys in a month.
“I can’t do this,” I whisper, staring at the door and both hoping he would hurry and that he’ll never come at all.
“Yes, you can,” Kinsley strokes my hand. “It’s best to know, isn’t it? Either way?”
“I’m not sure that it is,” I answer honestly. “What if I am? What am I going to do? Call both of them and be like, hey, I don’t know which one of you is the baby daddy but anyone want to take me back? And my mom. Oh, my God. How will I finish school? I’ll have to leave and go home.”
“Lia,” Kinsley interrupts my panic. “Relax. You haven’t heard anything yet. You could be right and it’s just some sort of infection.”
“But I can’t remember when my last period was.”
“Hon, I hardly ever know when my last period was. Just breathe, okay?” I know she’s just pacifying me, though. She had been the one to think of it. I can’t believe I hadn’t thought that could be a possibility weeks ago when this started. I’d never known anyone that was pregnant at my age, so it wouldn’t be something that I would think of. And I’d always been careful. Really careful. But apparently that wasn’t enough.
The door swings open and the doctor comes in, followed by a nurse. “Hello, Liane. My name is Dr. Jensen and I’ll be examining you today. I see that severe nausea and vomiting over the last few weeks has brought you in today. You report having lost about ten pounds in the last few weeks. I also notice that you don’t remember when your last menstrual period was. Is that right?”
I nod, a lump in my throat keeping me from talking. “Have you been sexually active?” I nod again, feeling my face flame. “Did you use protection?”
“I-I’ve been on the pill for years,” I answer. “And, we used other protection as well.”
“Have you, at any time in the last few months, been on antibiotics?”
I think back, wondering what that has to do with anything. “I was sick in July with a sinus infection, right around my birthday. So, yes.”
“Antibiotics can alter the effectiveness of birth control. Did you know that?”
“Yes, but we used other…”
He turns to the nurse. “Get me a pregnancy test, Jacey.” He turns back to me. “I’m going to feel your abdomen and see if I can feel any abnormalities there. Do you remember anything that brought the sickness on?”
“I thought it was food poisoning,” I tell him. “Though I’m not sure what I ate.”
“Food poisoning doesn’t last this long,” he confirms. Tears pour down my cheeks as he feels my stomach. “I’m going to do a blood test on top of the pregnancy test. But I suspect you’re pregnant, Liane.”
Jacey walks back through the door with a cup and a needle. She wipes my arm and our eyes meet. She doesn’t seem much older than me, and I wonder what she’s thinking. Here I am, in my first month of school, and in the clinic probably knocked up. I wondered how many girls they see in here every year in the same predicament. I’m going to become a statistic. The face of one of those posters you see preventing teen pregnancy. Oh, and don’t forget a guest on Jerry Springer trying to figure out who the baby daddy is.
“This is just going to be a pinch,” she says softly, smiling at me. When she finishes, she hands me a cup. “Please take this into the restroom and leave me a sample. There’s a marker in the bathroom for you to label it.” I stand, Kinsley at my side.
“I’m okay,” I tell her, shutting the bathroom door behind me. I sit on the seat, holding the small cup in front of me. This isn’t happening to me. I’m going to wake up at any time and realize this is just a nightmare. I should be worried about going to parties and studying; not whether I’ve been pregnant for the last two months and not known it. If what the doctor said was true and this test comes back positive, I had my answer. It was Ronan’s. Since Blake and I hadn’t been together until late August, it would mean it wasn’t him.
&n
bsp; Oh, my god. I can’t be having a baby. I can’t be having a baby with Ronan, either. A knock sounds on the other side of the door. “Lia? You okay?”
I stand up, giving them the sample and writing my name on it. “Yeah. I’ll be out in a minute.” Washing my hands, I stare at myself in the mirror. I don’t recognize this girl. This girl just ruined her life. I want the old me back, the one with a good head on her shoulders that doesn’t let two boys get her all messed up.
I settle myself back on the bed and Jacey tells me they will wait on the test results and be back in a little while. She hands me a gown and tells me to put it on with the opening to the front. Kinsley holds my hand, but doesn’t say a word. She probably has no clue what to say to me, anyway. I listen to the clock ticking in the room, wondering how long I have before the doctor says the words that will change my life.
After what seems like a lifetime, the door finally opens and both Jacey and Dr. Jensen come back in, this time wheeling a machine that I’ve never seen. “What’s that?”
Jacey wheels it over next to me, and neither of them answer me. “Your test results are in,” Dr. Jensen says. “You’re definitely pregnant. This machine is an ultrasound machine. We’re going to use it to see how far along you are since you aren’t sure about your last period.”
Kinsley squeezes my hand, and I close my eyes. The world spins behind my eyes, and I fight the urge to throw up again. I’m pregnant. There’s a baby growing in my stomach. I’m a teen mom. I’ll have to quit college. I’ll have to call Ronan and I never wanted to talk to him again. I have to tell my parents that their youngest child has failed them and become a disgrace to the family.
“I know this is a lot to process,” Dr. Jensen says softly. “We have counselors here on campus if you would like to talk to someone. Also, we have some pamphlets with options for you.”
Twisted Souls Page 15