Breaking Free

by Alexis Noelle

  Drew rolls his eyes as he turns over to grab it. “Hello?...already?...yeah, yeah, yeah. We’ll be down in a minute.”

  I look at him in confusion. “Who was that?”

  “Apparently, it’s time to start getting ready for tonight.”

  “Really? What time is it?”

  “Eleven.” He leans down to kiss me. “Too bad they didn’t come an hour later. I had plans for you.”

  My whole body tightens and I instantly hate everyone downstairs. Drew hands me one of his t-shirts and a pair of his sweatpants. “You know, I did pack clothes of my own.”

  He smirks at me. “I know, but now at least those fuckers will see that you belong to me. It even says it on your shirt.” He turns and makes his way downstairs.

  When I look down, I see the shirt I’m wearing says ‘Renegades Property’, and I shake my head. I head straight for the kitchen to get my liquid heaven. I see Drew in there and decide to have a little fun with him.

  I take the mug he is offering me and smile as I sip it. “You know, technically my shirt says ‘Renegades Property’, that could really mean anyone in the band.”

  Drew scowls at me and walks out of the kitchen. Okay, that wasn’t the reaction I was expecting. A few minutes later, he comes in with a piece of paper. What the heck is that for? He pushes it against my shirt and presses down on a piece of tape. When I look down I see ‘PROPERTY OF DREW FUCKING WALKER’ written in black sharpie. I start laughing as he goes back to his seat and continues drinking the coffee he abandoned.

  Felicia walks into the kitchen as I’m finishing my coffee. “Are you ready? We have a lot of work to do.”

  I’m guessing that’s her way of saying I look like a hot mess? I stand up and follow her out of the room, laughing at the expression of every person that I pass as they look at my shirt.

  It has been five damn hours of hair, make-up, an embarrassing waxing session, and taping my boobs down to the point that I’m scared to get undressed tonight.

  When I turn to look in the mirror, I barely recognize myself. My hair is swept to one side and curled to perfection. It’s all joined right behind my ear by an intricate diamond flower clip. I made the mistake of calling them rhinestones and was shamed by Felicia. I have on teardrop diamond earrings, and my makeup is done to such perfection that I’m scared to even blink. The dress looks amazing. It hugs every single curve of my body, and even when I’m standing still, the sparkly material makes it seem like I’m moving.

  The door opens and Drew walks in and he’s dressed in a black suit and tie. I’ve never seen him in anything but a t-shirt and jeans, so looking at him now awakens every nerve ending in my body. He looks me up and down, then his tongue peeks out and slowly licks his full bottom lip. “You look good enough to eat.”

  Feeling brave, I start to exit the room, stopping just by his side and leaning toward him to whisper in his ear, “Maybe later if you’re good.” I hear a sharp intake of breath come from him as I exit the room.

  We walk out to what I assume will be the normal black SUV, but in its place is a white stretch hummer. The driver opens the door and I sit down. I’ve never been in a limo before and it’s really nice in here. The door across from me opens and Drew climbs in. He immediately slides over next to me and runs his hand from the strap of my ridiculously high heels up to my thigh. “You like to tease me, don’t you, James?” I nod my head. His mouth descends on my neck and he gently nips at the skin. “Maybe I’ll have to tease you a little, too.”

  Drew moves away, leaving me to try and squeeze my thighs together in the hopes of getting some sort of relief.

  We’re stuck behind a line of cars and I’m looking around, trying to figure out why the driver doesn’t just go around them. Drew seems to sense my confusion. “It’s the red carpet line. We have to wait our turn to get out of the car. I tried to fucking skip this part but my publicist flipped out.”

  Red carpet line? There are going to be cameras everywhere. I guess I didn’t let myself focus on this fact until right now. I have no idea how to stand or smile or anything that I should do. I feel like I’m going to look like such an idiot. Hopefully, they all want to just take pictures of him and I can fade into the background. After almost forty-five minutes of waiting in the stupid car line, we pull up. I see the red carpet and my heart starts to beat out of my chest. This is it.

  Drew climbs over me. “Let me get out first, then I’ll help you out of the car.” He exits the limo and I hear screams echoing from all around us. Drew turns to wave at the people gathered around, then turns back to me and offers me his hand. I take it and slowly exit the car, praying that I don’t fall flat on my face. A woman about my age comes up to us and starts rattling off different directions about where to go and where to look. It’s all so overwhelming that I can’t even process what she is saying; I’ll just follow Drew’s lead.

  He walks us to a circular platform, puts his hand around my waist, and whispers in my ear. “Just smile, you look amazing.” I do my best, hoping that my face doesn’t look as awkward as I feel right now. It feels like we stand there forever, making sure to turn in every possible direction, as to not leave anyone out. When we finally get away from ‘the circle of hell’ as I named it, I feel like I can breathe again.

  We enter the building and it’s set up almost like a cocktail hour at a wedding. I look around the room, seeing so many famous singers that I’m taken aback. I can’t believe that I’m actually here. Lucas Masterson comes up to Drew, they shake hands and then he turns to me. Holy hell. I can’t even breathe right now. I’m so out of it that when he reaches out his hand I take it, and the pain of the contact shocks me. I quickly pull back my hand and earn looks of confusion from everyone around.

  “Um, sorry. You shocked me.” Lucas awkwardly smiles at me. Well, that was embarrassing.

  The boys start to talk about the business and the pretty brunette with Lucas looks my way. “Hi, I’m Becca.”

  I smile. “I’m Holly.”

  She laughs. “Is this your first event?”

  I bite my bottom lip out of nervousness. “Is it that obvious?”

  The smile she gives me relaxes me. “A little, but don’t worry. It seems a lot scarier than it really is. The first time Luke and I went to one of these, I pulled a Jennifer Lawrence and fell onto the picture platform.” We both laugh and I feel comfortable for the first time since we got here.

  Luke and Becca say their goodbyes, but in their place we are greeted by a line of other people just waiting to get to Drew.

  Every time someone else comes up to us I mumble some excuse about being a germaphobe. After an hour of introductions, we go to sit in our seats. Drew leans in close to me. “What was with the germ thing?”

  “I don’t know, I was just nervous.”

  His hand rests on my thigh, but his mouth is still right next to my ear. “I know your body better than you do, and I know you’re lying.”

  Someone comes up on stage to announce to everyone that the show will be starting in a few minutes. Thank God, although I don’t know how I am going to dodge his questions later.

  The show is absolutely amazing. I’ve always been the junkie that watches these things from the start of the pre-show to the end of the after-show. I stalk the websites for the best and worst dressed lists and sing along to all of the performances. Being there in person, though, is so much different, and just a surreal experience.

  When we leave, Drew mentions going home, but I honestly want to stay out as late as possible and avoid his questioning. “Can we go to one of the after parties?”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah, I don’t know. I just thought it might be fun.”

  I can tell that he knows I’m stalling, but he gives in to me anyway. “Okay, let’s go.”

  We go to the Billboard after party. It’s so nice and we have the night I think Drew might have been hoping for when we went to the last club. We dance with each other all night long, and when it’s time to leave, I fe
el like I can barely walk. Throughout the night, I have a few drinks and since I don’t usually drink, I’m pretty far gone.

  The entire ride home I keep babbling about the beautiful, mesmerizing lights and I catch Drew laughing at me more than once. When we get back to his house, he helps me up the obnoxious flight of steps. I plop down on the bed, giggling as I bounce. I can hear Drew fumbling around but I’m too preoccupied pretending that I’m on a carousel that’s spinning.

  Drew comes over and helps me get out of my dress, handing me one of his shirts to put on. “Why the hell is there tape all over your tits?”

  “Gotta keep the girls cooped up!” I grasp the t-shirt he has on and pull him close to me. “Why is it okay for you?”

  “Why is what okay?”

  “You’re the only one. I just don’t get it.” Drew lies down beside me. “I hated you at first, but not now. I still hate that you’re the only one, though.”

  I pass out to Drew trying to ask me questions and figure out what the heck I’m talking about.

  Chapter Ten

  I wake up in the morning feeling like I’ve been hit by a damn freight train. Alcohol is definitely no bueno. Drew isn’t in bed. I sit up to look around and see a note on the pillow next to me.

  Hope you’re not too hungover.

  Meet me downstairs when you wake up.

  I swing my legs off the bed, and once I stand up, my stomach rolls. This is not going to be a fun day. I slowly make my way downstairs, praying with each step that I don’t throw up. I walk slowly into the kitchen and Drew takes one look at me and starts to laugh.

  “Oh yeah, laugh at me all you want, buddy.” I flip him off and make my way over to the coffee pot, hoping that this will help me get out of my funk.

  “Don’t forget we told my mom we would go there today. We need to leave in an hour. Pack a bag in case it gets late and we want to stay.” Ugh, that’s today? He smacks my butt as he walks out of the kitchen.

  I finish my coffee and decide to grab a shower since I feel like the damn monster of the black lagoon. I get upstairs in one piece, and when I lift Drew’s shirt off, I see the tape all over my boobs. I close my eyes, grit my teeth, and start pulling the tape strips off one by one, yelping with each one. This is almost as much torture as the damn waxing was. I walk up to Drew’s shower and stare at it. How the hell do you work this thing? There are a thousand different buttons on a control panel. This is so unnecessary. I would kill for a regular damn shower that I can twist the water on and off.

  I finally figure out how to turn it on but it’s ice cold. Oh well, at least it’s on. After the shower, I get dressed in jeans and a simple t-shirt. I made a promise to myself that I would be fully dressed the next time I meet his family.

  Drew walks into the room. “You ready, babe?”

  The ‘babe’ thing is new for him, but every time he says it I smile. “Yep.” I grab my bag but he quickly takes it from me.

  “Alright, let’s go then. It’s only about an hour drive.”

  The drive to his parents’ house seems fairly quick. We pull up outside a huge ranch style house. The front yard is beautiful with every different color flower that you can imagine. The door flies open, Maya comes running toward us, and Drew scoops her up, spinning her around. “Happy birthday, beautiful girl.” I smile at the sight of them together.

  “Happy birthday, Maya,” I say.

  “Hi, Holly! Daddy didn’t believe you were real. He said ‘that boy ain’t never gonna convince a girl to be around him for more than a day’.”

  Drew and I laugh at her impersonation. “You ready for our birthday tradition, baby girl?”

  “Yes!”

  I look at Drew in question. “What’s your tradition?”

  He looks at me and shrugs. “Doing whatever she wants.” I laugh. “So, baby girl, what are we doing today?”

  She smiles up at Drew. “Universal Studios!”

  He looks over at me. “You up for that?” I nod. I think I’m almost as excited as Maya.

  Drew’s mom comes out on the porch and I wave to her, thankful to be fully clothed this time. We pile into Drew’s car and sing along to the radio for the entire ride. When we get there, he buys some special ticket that lets you go to the front of the line for every ride. Thank God because those lines go on forever. He brought his trusty baseball cap to help him keep a low profile and it seems to be working.

  We’ve been on almost every ride in the park and he has bought Maya and me something in every store we’ve passed. It’s amazing watching him with her, and he hasn’t let me out of his sight the entire day, either. I couldn’t have imagined having a better day. On the ride home, Maya falls asleep and I look over at Drew.

  “She really loves you. It’s really cute to see you guys together.”

  Drew grabs my hand. “Thanks for spending the day with us. Are you okay?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean the constant anxiety, and I don’t know, I just feel like something is wrong.”

  When we pull up to the house, Drew carries Maya in because she’s still passed out. His mom is on the couch in the living room, and Drew heads upstairs, I’m assuming to take her to bed. “Holly, come sit down, sweetie.” I go and sit next to his mom on the couch. “Thank you.” I look at her in confusion. What is she thanking me for? “I haven’t seen Andrew this happy in a very long time.”

  “I…um…he makes me happy, too.”

  She smiles at me. “I can tell. Just be patient with him. He has a problem letting people in. I can assure you, though, with the way he feels about you, he’ll let you in soon.”

  They way he feels about me? What is she saying?

  “I know the two of you really haven’t known each other long, but let me give you some advice. There is no set time frame for a relationship. Some people feel the love from the very first minute, and some people may be together for ten years without ever feeling that intensity. It’s not about the time, it’s about the people. Love is when you find someone else who compliments you, but at the same time makes you better. Someone who makes you feel alive and gives you the strength to go on when you feel like you can’t. Love is unpredictable, crazy, and at times cruel but it is never planned. The only way to know if you truly love someone is by looking into your own heart, and let me tell you, the heart doesn’t work off of a calendar.”

  Drew comes into the room before I can even respond to his mom.

  She smiles up at him. “Andrew, why don’t the two of you stay tonight? I know Maya would love it and your father is off work tomorrow.”

  He looks over at me. “What do you think?”

  I smile at his hopeful expression. “Sounds good to me.”

  “Okay, I’ll go get the bags.” He practically runs out of the house, making me laugh.

  I turn back to his mom and she’s just shaking her head and smiling.

  When Drew comes back in, I say goodnight to his mother and make my way upstairs, exhausted from the day we had. We get upstairs and Drew stops outside of a room that I can tell used to be his. The walls are plastered with posters of bands and there is clutter everywhere. It seems like it hasn’t even been touched since he left. I wait in the doorway for him to take me to a guest room. “You just going to stand there all night?”

  “Do you expect me to stay in here with you?”

  He laughs. “No, I expect you to stay outside on the porch.” Drew walks over to me and wraps his arms around my waist. “There’s no way I could have you in any other room but mine.”

  “But what about your mom? I’m sure she doesn’t want us sharing a room.”

  “Babe, the first time my mom saw us together we were about to have sex, she isn’t that naïve.”

  While that may be true, it still feels weird. He pulls me into his room and shuts the door. When his lips touch mine, I lose all self-control. Our mouths move together as we drink each other in. When Drew’s hands reach for the bottom of my shirt, I freeze. “I can’t do this
here. It’s not right.”

  He smiles at me and then places a kiss on my lips. “We can be quiet, but there’s no way that I can go without you tonight.”

  His fingers dig into my skin and I pull myself closer to him. I can’t resist the pull, the need for him. How does a connection like this happen in such a short amount of time? Maybe his mom was right and time has nothing to do with love.

  We slowly undress each other, taking our time and savoring each moment. We lie down, and as Drew pushes into me, his eyes find mine. I see the same thing I saw the other night, but I’m afraid to hope that it’s what I think it is. I’m afraid to be let down, thinking that it’s what I need from him.

  Drew moves in and out of me slowly, kissing every inch of skin that he can. I wrap my legs around him, pulling him deeper into me. While I enjoy Drew’s wild side, I prefer him like this. His eyes look deep into me, almost as if he’s trying to reach my soul.

  My nails dig into his back as I feel my body tightening. Every time his hips roll into me, his pelvis brushes my clit and I moan. He kisses me once more, forcing his tongue into my mouth and I explode, using his kiss to swallow my sounds of ecstasy. Drew’s entire body tenses as he buries his head in my neck and uses me to mask his groans.

  Drew rolls onto his side behind me and wraps his arms around me. He kisses my shoulder as I breathe a sigh of contentment. “Drew?”

  “Hmmm?”

  “Would you come to my brother’s wedding with me at the end of the summer?”

  He kisses my shoulder again. “I wouldn’t miss it.”

  As I fall asleep, I let all of the things that Drew has ever said to me ring through my head.

  ‘I want you, James. I can’t explain why, but I do.’ ‘Fine, I fucking missed you.’ ‘I knew even when I first walked over to you that day that I wouldn’t be able to stay away from you.’

  Chapter Eleven

  I’m jolted awake by our door slamming open. When I look up, Maya is standing in the doorway, excitedly bouncing back and forth on her feet.

  “You’re still here! Yay!” I grasp the sheets tightly, praying that she doesn’t come any closer.