by Vella Munn
She sighed. “That sounds wonderful, but I need to get home and to bed. My day starts pretty early.”
So did his but sleep was nearly the last thing on his mind. He wanted to back up to the fireplace with her beside him. Somehow he’d get her to talk about her family some more. This time she’d tell him what it was like to live with a father who wouldn’t let his children celebrate Christmas but mostly he wanted her shoulder brushing his.
Taking her hand and leading her to the stairs where his bedroom waited.
“All right.” He couldn’t keep reluctance out of his voice or images of her naked on his bed from stirring his senses and more. “I’ll walk you back to your vehicle.”
“You don’t have—”
“Yes, I do.”
He didn’t explain why he’d said what he had, just let the words stand. And when he wrapped his arm around her shoulder, instead of starting up the walk, he drew out the moment.
“I don’t know when I’ve enjoyed a day more.” The longer he remained with her next to him, the more he wanted to kiss her. Just kiss?
“It was a good one.” She withdrew the hand closest to him from her pocket. She started to place it between them only to slide it around his waist. In his mind, he heard her whisper his name. Instead, she said, “A lot of soaking in some incredible views and not much responsibility.”
“And our four-legged company. Don’t forget that.”
“As if I could. I want to learn more about wolves.”
Wondering if she was talking so she wouldn’t have to address what was taking place between them, he agreed. He hadn’t been attracted to a woman for so long he wasn’t sure how to handle the condition. She started speculating what would wind up in the educational center, but in a few moments they’d leave the isolated snow-path. He couldn’t let things end with them talking about displays.
“Now is the best part about today.” He stopped, making her do the same. He placed both hands on her shoulders and positioned her so they were face to face. Red and green sparkles again transformed her face into something from a fantasy.
“It is?” she whispered.
Yes, he told her by inclining his head. Yes, he reinforced by drawing her closer. Her shivering stopped, and she looked up at him with her lips parted and soft, so soft. Alive.
He was going to kiss her. Out here where people might see and talk because he had no control over his behavior. With the night growing colder by the minute and the ice on the lake groaning.
Because this was the only thing he wanted from life.
Her eyes were big and her expression uncertain. Then they closed the scant space left between them and she went out of focus. Their bulky coats prevented their bodies from truly connecting, but she wasn’t holding back and that was what mattered. She wanted this as much as he did.
Needed.
He’d been wrong, her lips weren’t just soft. Behind their chilled surface promise waited. Much as he wanted to explore the depth of that promise, he wanted to give her the same even more. He couldn’t open his past to her, wasn’t sure they’d ever reach that point, but right now was perfect.
Now was all anyone ever got.
She made a sound, something between a whimper and a sigh. He pressed his lips against hers, held onto her slight frame, lost something of himself and took a small piece of her for safekeeping. He hadn’t had anything to drink, but he felt dizzy and off-balance. As if he was starting over.
Chapter Twelve
“I saw Shaw and you together last night,” Daron told her. “I just, well, I thought you should know.”
Even though Haley shrugged and smiled, she didn’t feel lighthearted. Not only was she still trying to wrap her mind around what had happened between her and Shaw, she had no idea what to say. So much for having this being an adult business down.
Daron wiped his hands on a rag. “Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything.”
“No, no. That’s all right. I don’t want you thinking you have to keep anything from me.”
“I wouldn’t have been there if I wasn’t returning some baking pans to the kitchen for Mom. Uh, I think I was the only one out in the cold. Didn’t see anyone.”
That eased her mind a little, but she couldn’t expect Daron not to talk about it. She’d be surprised if his mother didn’t already know.
“Shaw and I’d had an incredible adventure yesterday,” she said. “He doesn’t get out of his office as much as he wants to. The conditions were perfect and well—we were celebrating an amazing day.”
“Hmm.”
Instead of trying to come up with a comment he’d buy, she wondered if Shaw had gotten more sleep than she had. Of course it wouldn’t take much to beat her two hours for the simple reason that she hadn’t been able to stop thinking about him. They’d conducted themselves like professionals while they were in the restaurant. Then they’d walked into a winter night turned magical and all that professionalism had evaporated like her breath had as it drifted toward the sky.
To her relief, Daron didn’t appear interested in pursuing the whys and wherefores of the relationship between the two people responsible for him having a job. What teenager cared what adults did? In between dealing with the day’s first guests, the two of them speculated about what kind of snowmobiles Robert had purchased and when they’d arrive. However, even as she tried to keep up with the teenager’s enthusiasm for the subject, she kept wondering what Shaw was doing and whether she was on his mind.
Maybe he was trying to make sense of what was taking place between them. If he had it figured out, hopefully he’d let her know.
*
Shaw called a little after ten while she was waiting for a gas delivery. When his number appeared on her cell phone, she briefly pretended she hadn’t heard the signal followed by assuring herself that she’d return his call once she had her nerves under control.
But that was the coward’s way out and she’d vowed to never be that person again.
“How are you?” he asked in response to her hello. “Hopefully you weren’t cold all night.”
“No. My electric blanket did the trick.” He didn’t need to know that being warm hadn’t shut off her mind. “You?”
“Fine.”
Fine didn’t tell her anything.
“About why I called,” he said. “There are a couple of things.”
“All right.” Daron was within earshot.
She wished she could be sure her body language wasn’t giving her away. Despite the spitting snow, she felt flushed. Hearing from Shaw was—all right, exhilarating and nervous-making.
Shaw kept his explanation brief. Terron and another member of the construction crew planned to come by later today so they could draw up plans for expansion of her office. In addition, Robert had sent Shaw a copy of the invoice for three top of the line snowmobiles and two compactor-tracksetters designed to be pulled behind snowmobiles.
“Maybe the compactors aren’t what you had in mind for grooming the trails,” he said, “but going by the picture, it looks to me as if they’ll do the job and then some.”
“I’m sure they will.” She gave Daron a thumbs up. The teenager looked confused. “I know someone who’ll love trying them out.”
Shaw chuckled and told her he wasn’t sure when the new equipment would be delivered, maybe before the end of the week. “Tell Daron he’ll have me to deal with if he runs the new machines into a tree or off a cliff.”
“Not if I get to him first. I’ll leave him in the woods with the skis wrapped around his neck. Shaw, I can get by with the office I have. I’m sure the men have other things—”
“Size isn’t the only consideration. I don’t want you cold. You might get sick.”
People didn’t catch cold from the temperature. Surely he knew that. Even so, knowing the man she’d kissed last night was concerned with her physical comfort had her smiling and briefly closing her eyes.
“I’m pretty hearty,” she said. “In fact, I went two
years in elementary school not having a single sick day. Got an award for perfect attendance.”
“I hope you had the award framed.”
She had no idea where the award was. Like so many things from her childhood, it had been forgotten in the chaos following her mother’s death. Unable to tell Shaw that, she asked if he’d accomplished anything as outstanding as having perfect attendance during his childhood.
“As a matter of fact I did. I played baseball and football from sixth grade on. Juggling two sports isn’t something I’d recommend. My folks said the insanity would have to stop if my grades dropped.”
“Did they?”
“Heck no. I wouldn’t let it happen. About did myself in a few times burning the candle at all ends, but I don’t regret it.”
“It sounds as if you don’t.”
“Right you are. For the record, during my senior year the baseball team won the state championship in our division.”
“I’m impressed.”
“As you should be.” He chuckled. “Not to brag, but my batting average was highest on the team.”
“What position did you play?”
“Catcher. I think the trophies are in storage. Mom would know.”
Mom. He’d said the word with such warmth and love.
She wondered how he felt about not being able to have a number of his belongings with him. Housing at Lake Serene wasn’t designed for people who held onto stuff. Fortunately, or perhaps unfortunately, she’d never been attached to possessions beyond a few small things that had been her mother’s. She wouldn’t have enough furniture for her mobile if a couple of resort employees hadn’t been replacing some of theirs. She’d bought a couch she kept covered with a wool blanket and a kitchen table with two wooden chairs. What would Shaw think when he saw how she lived?
When, not if.
By the time she’d shaken off the complex thought, Shaw was telling her about his conversation with several dog racing team members. The president had explained that he’d been given the authority to go to contract. He’d faxed the documents to Shaw who’d signed them after a thorough reading. A check would soon be deposited in the resort’s account.
“Too bad most deals aren’t that efficiently handled.”
“Right you are. Say, how do you feel about watching the races with me? I should be able to get us front row seats. Well not seats so much because I don’t think that’s how it works as having priority where we stand.”
Had he asked her for a date? Things could change between them by then, maybe fall apart, but she didn’t hesitate before accepting.
“Great. I’ve seen clips of those races on TV. You probably have too. I’m thinking the real thing is more exciting. Those are high energy dogs.”
“I don’t doubt that.” She couldn’t think of anything else to say.
“Are you still there?” he asked. “Having a busy day?”
Much as she’d rather hold his date offer close to her heart, she forced herself to catch up to the conversation. “Not really. I think the weather report has some people deciding today isn’t the best one for getting far from civilization.”
“We’ll see if this storm arrives as promised. It might fizzle out. Say, they’re setting the Christmas tree up in the lobby. If you’re so inclined, we could watch the decorating this evening. Make sure they’re doing it right.”
Her heart ached. Her childhood Christmases had been filled with tension but that hadn’t stopped her from imagining what holidays were like for her neighbors and classmates.
No! She hadn’t lived in that dark and narrow world for years and refused to let it define her. Lake Serene was her world and Shaw had become an important part of that world.
“Haley? What about it?”
She closed her eyes only to open them because the one scene from the past that might never disappear had found her. “Will there be cookies?” She managed to say.
“You want cookies?”
Act normal! “Of course. With red and green sparkles.”
“Your wish is my command, or rather it is if I can convince the cooks. I’m looking forward to this.”
Shaw kept her off-balance too much of the time. She never knew what was going to come out of his mouth, whether he’d wear his serious hat or let the inner child loose. Her goal for the evening needed to be to keep them both in child mode because it was safer that way.
She might have stood outside the snowmobile building indefinitely with snowflakes stacking up on the top of her head if Daron didn’t saunter closer and ask why she’d threatened to wrap some skis around his neck.
“I’m joking, I think.”
Shaw brought out so many complex and confusing emotions in her, also some highly erotic ones if she was being honest. Right now one involving a bed and no clothing was trying to push to the surface.
“Tall as you are,” she made herself say to Daron, “I’m not sure I could make good on that particular threat. Besides, I figure you know better than to treat something new like it came from the junk yard.”
Because he still looked confused, she explained about the new machines. She expected Daron to be excited. Instead he studied the snow-laden clouds.
“What is it? Are you thinking I won’t let you try them out? I trust you to—”
“It isn’t that. I wish I was eighteen.”
“Don’t be in a hurry to grow up. Believe me, adulthood isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Once you’re there, there’s no going back.”
He stuck out his tongue and captured a few flakes. “If I was eighteen I could get out of here.”
The truck that weekly delivered gas was due. She should tell Daron to clear a path to the storage tank, but this was more important. “What do you want to do?”
“Get a better paying job and my own place. Maybe join the military. Maybe jam my belongings in a backpack and start hiking.”
Daron hadn’t thought out his options, but at sixteen he couldn’t be expected to know how to turn dreams into reality. Much as she wanted to encourage him to embrace every day, she was pretty sure he wouldn’t listen. At least he was providing her with something other than making love with Shaw to think about. Temporary distraction.
“It sounds as if you’ve been thinking about this for a while.”
“Yeah, kinda.” Daron pointed in the general direction of the resort. “I’ve been here since I was eight. I know everyone who lives at Lake Serene, every trail, where the best fishing is, how awful it gets when the mosquitoes are around. When I was going to school, I’d listen to other kids talk about the things they’d seen and done, places they’d gone to.” He dug his boot into the snow. “What did I do? I got back on the bus and came back here. I’m trapped.”
“You are if that’s the way you see it.”
Instead of shrugging her off, Daron stared.
“Life is what we make of it,” she continued. “Some of us are better at it than others.” She paused to gather her thoughts. “I’m going to tell you something. Maybe it’ll help you understand what I’m talking about. My mother spent years reacting instead of acting. Do you know what I’m saying? She let someone else direct her life.”
“Can’t she—”
“She’s dead.”
“Oh. I’m sorry.”
Worn out from what she’d said, which wasn’t enough, she placed her hands on Daron’s shoulders. Beneath his cold coat his bony shoulders stuck out.
“You’re young. You have a great many years ahead of you.”
“What am I supposed to do with them?”
She’d once had the same thoughts, questions, and concerns. In some regards, she still did. “Plan. You’re right. At sixteen your options are limited. I’m guessing you don’t have enough money to explore the country on foot.”
“I’m screwed.”
She wanted to shake him. “Consider where you’re working. The majority of people your age can’t put this on their resumes. I’m sure you want to help your mom financially bu
t can’t you save part of your salary?”
“Yeah.”
She released him but remained close. For one of the few times in her life she wanted to tell someone what she’d lived through, but this was about the young man, not her.
“Open a savings account. Put a set amount in it every week. Earmark that for what you really want to do.”
“Like get out of here.”
“Yes, like get out of here.” She didn’t tell him that Lake Serene was becoming something she wasn’t sure she could easily leave. All it had taken was an afternoon in the wilderness with Shaw for a seasonal job to turn into something precious—and fragile. She’d once lost something—someone—precious so knew nothing could be taken for granted. Maybe that was what she found so enticing and scary about how her relationship with Shaw was evolving, the unknown.
“You mentioned the military,” she said. “Will any branch take you if you don’t have a high school diploma?”
He wouldn’t look at her. “I don’t know.”
“You owe it to yourself to find out. What about online classes? Is that a viable alternative to getting back on that bus, something you can do around your work schedule?”
“I don’t know.”
She didn’t need to throw any more questions at him. Either he investigated his options or he didn’t. If he wanted to be seen as an adult, he needed to do those things by himself.
“I was home schooled for a while,” she said.
“You—”
“Yes,” she interrupted to stop things from going too far. Why she hadn’t gone to school for the better part of a year wasn’t his concern. “I’ll give you the name of the system I was under. You don’t need me telling you that a diploma will make a difference in your future.” A wave of emotion threatened to overwhelm her. She again placed her hands on the young man’s shoulders. “Embrace every day. Don’t float or hide.” Like I did for too long. “Make your life work for you.”
Chapter Thirteen
Shaw could tell Haley was distracted. She might be trying to decide whether she was ready to spend the evening with the man who signed her paycheck, but he wasn’t going to ask.