by Vella Munn
He figured she’d gone to her place and changed into the attention-grabbing long white knit sweater and black leggings before joining him in the lodge, but much as he’d like to believe she’d done that for him, he couldn’t. Maybe she’d gotten something on the snowsuit that was practically her uniform and had grabbed what was in her closet. What he did know was that he wasn’t sure he could get through the evening without touching her hair. It looked and smelled as if she’d just shampooed it and was that a bit of mascara?
So if she’d dressed with him in mind, why wasn’t she letting him know in subtle ways? Instead of leaning into him, she was sitting upright and sipping on hot cider while holding a green cookie in the shape of a tree. At the moment she was watching workmen reposition a ladder close to the twenty-something-foot tall evergreen that dominated the room. He sat near but not against her on a leather couch to the left of the fireplace. Many more than one employee had looked their way.
Three couples that he was aware of had fallen in love at Lake Serene. He and Haley were a long way from that happening to them and maybe he shouldn’t have reached out to her the way he had earlier today, but he had, and here they were.
The projected storm had held off until nearly dark but was now doing its thing. Thinking the parking lot might soon be impassable, he’d asked Haley whether she’d walked or driven. She’d explained that she’d walked the quarter of a mile from her place and had left her boots in the entryway, thus her socks.
“Are you tired?” he finally asked. “Maybe you’d rather go home?”
“What? No. What makes you say that?”
“You’re quiet. Maybe supervising tree decoration isn’t your thing.”
She stared at her half-full mug. “It’s something I haven’t seen much of but that isn’t—I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be distracted.”
“That’s all right.” He wasn’t sure it was.
When she leaned closer, he accepted that she was focused on keeping their conversation private, not intimacy. “You’re all right with this?” she asked.
“This?”
“Our being together.”
“We don’t owe anyone an explanation.”
“That’s not what I mean. I just don’t want our being together to make things uncomfortable for you.”
“They aren’t. What about you?”
She studied his knees. “I’m not sure what I feel.”
Despite his disappointment in hearing that, not that he could articulate his own emotions, he nodded. “Fair enough. Maybe we’ll get back to that later.”
“Maybe.” She watched the workmen for awhile. “Daron and I had a serious conversation this afternoon. I don’t know if I told him the right things.”
“About what?”
“Some stuff he’s going through. Daron feels trapped here.” She sipped on her cider. “I wouldn’t be surprised if most of the teenagers who live at Lake Serene feel the same way. It’s such an isolated community. Kids want to see what the rest of the world’s like.”
“I’d never try to stop them from trying their wings.”
“I feel the same way but Daron’s too young to do it on his own.” She laughed as one of the housekeepers draped a popcorn garland around her husband’s neck and pretended to choke him with it. “Besides, he feels responsible for his mother and siblings.”
“What did you tell him?”
“I suggested he set some short-term goals.” She started to cross her legs only to lose her balance on the couch’s soft cushions and tilt toward him. It was probably his imagination, what he wanted, but did she remain close to him longer than necessary?
“Hopefully he’ll take your advice,” he said even though right now he didn’t care about Daron. Shampoo had never smelled so incredible and her legs—distractible. “The important thing is not to nag,” he managed. “I’m not saying you would, but I resented anyone giving me advice when I was his age. What about you? Did you think you knew it all then?”
“I guess.”
She was avoiding, dancing away, keeping a wall around her past, making him wonder what lurked inside those walls. Maybe it was something not so different from what he kept to himself.
“Daron doesn’t see Lake Serene the same way I do,” she said. “He understandably feels hemmed in. In contrast, the longer I’m here, the more I appreciate it. Yes, there’s the resort with visitors everywhere but all around is unspoiled wilderness. It’s seductive.”
Seductive. “You’re in a pensive mood.”
“If I am, I think our trek into the backcountry plays a large role. I found a lot of myself there.”
Touched by how much she’d revealed, he could only respond with a nod.
Christmas carols had been playing in the background, but someone must have turned up the volume because suddenly music filled the room. He didn’t recall hearing anything about an ugly Christmas costume contest but maybe that explained why the half dozen children who’d just arrived were dressed as they were. One little guy wore an iridescent red sweater festooned with multicolored cloth balls. A girl Shaw figured to be nine or ten had on a sweater that had probably been white before someone washed it with colored garments. Someone had stapled a number of ribbons to it.
Daron, dressed like a normal human being, appeared with one of his brothers on his shoulders. The younger boy’s costume looked as if it had been someone’s first knitting project. For the most part the children were trying to move in time with the upbeat carol.
“Did you have anything to do with this?” Haley asked with her mouth near his ear. He felt her breath everywhere.
“No.” He didn’t dare look at her. Much more of her being so close and his body would reveal something he preferred to keep private. “Planning holiday parties isn’t in my job description.”
“Thankfully?”
“Beyond thankfully. Maybe you wish you were dressed up?”
She ran her hands over the leggings clinging to her slender but muscled legs. “This is as dressed up as it ever gets.”
He’d love to see her without anything on, not that he’d tell her, at least not here and now. Sitting on a couch without adequate support in the seat cushion forced them dangerously close to each other. Uncle Robert had asked if there were any unattached women at the resort he was interested in but he’d come to this job believing his responsibilities would take up all of his time. That was how he’d wanted it and what was safe.
So much for those plans.
Also so much for seeing Lake Serene simply as where he made his living. Tonight he agreed with Haley’s assessment of the area. It seduced. She seduced.
The real Christmas Eve party would take place next week in the large convention meeting room. Until now Shaw had given tonight’s employee celebration little thought since it was family time and his family couldn’t make it. He’d planned to spend Christmas Eve doing paperwork. At least that had been his agenda before he’d gotten close to someone else who would be alone then.
Haley nudged his shoulder. “I hope Daron will look back at tonight and remember it as one of the things that’s right about Lake Serene.”
“It’ll probably take a while. Right now he believes those who live anywhere else are having all the fun.”
“He’ll learn the truth.”
There she went again, hinting at a life filled with bumps. Well she wasn’t the only one. He finished his drink without tasting it and was looking for somewhere to put his mug when he noticed that hers was empty.
“Want a refill?”
“No thanks. Look, if you should be talking to other people—”
“I shouldn’t be. What about you?” He angled himself toward her. Breathed in more of her scent. “Want to mingle?”
“Not particularly.” She rubbed her knees. “I’m not good at small talk.”
“Shy?”
“Whatever.”
He’d seen her interact with clients so knew she could hold her own but that was part of her job. Apparent
ly she was less sure of herself when the situation was personal. He’d always been outgoing. All through school he’d been a jock, a member of various sports teams, part of the group other students looked up to. Maybe Haley had been one of the outsiders, a natural loner.
Or maybe something beyond her control had made her hold back.
“Come on.” It took some doing, but he finally extricated himself from the couch and stood.
“Come where?”
“To check on the storm.”
Her look said she was trying to decide whether he was serious so he placed their mugs on a nearby table and held out his hand. She briefly studied it before placing her hand in his and let him help her to her feet.
When they’d been out looking for a dog sled race route, her snow suit had bulked her body. Without the added layers, he was struck by how insubstantial she appeared. If she’d made the same impact back when he’d interviewed her, he was surprised he’d hired her. Well, things changed. Mostly how he felt about her was constantly evolving.
Still holding her hand, he led the way around several groups until they reached the front door. The lodge had been built with a mudroom just inside the door. The mudroom included space for stacking wood as well as skis, boots, jackets, and sleds. Tonight there was even a pair of snowshoes. Not only did the space keep snow and rain from reaching the lodge proper, it helped keep some of the cold out. Tonight, however, wind pushed through the scant space between the double doors and made a whistling sound.
“Maybe going outside isn’t the best idea,” Haley said. “The storm has really charged up.”
“Maybe it’s mostly the wind. Not so much snow.”
Haley gave him a look that said she believed he’d taken leave of his senses, but if he didn’t poke his head outside, she might realize he hadn’t been thinking about the weather when he’d issued his impulsive invitation.
He turned the handle. The wind slammed against the door with so much force it took all of his strength to close it. In those few seconds, enough snow had blown in that some of the floor was coated in white.
“Getting home’s going to be an adventure,” she said.
“You’ll risk getting blown away.”
She chuckled. “I doubt that.” She studied the snow-covered floor. “Besides, I wasn’t thinking of leaving yet.”
Good. “Wise decision—and our discussion about your mode of transportation isn’t over.” If they’d had more time together and were more comfortable around each other, he’d ask her to spend the night with him.
“Are you always this bossy?”
“Only with those I care about.”
Her mouth parted, she stared up at him. He couldn’t read her thoughts, but that didn’t stop him from projecting what he was feeling onto her. Hopefully she was taking his comment seriously, turning it around in her mind, maybe sensing it on a deep level.
He threaded his fingers through hers and started to draw her back from the door. “You don’t need to say anything. The words just came out.”
“They were—thank you for saying what you did.”
“You’re welcome.” Can’t you do better than that?
“What do animals do when it’s like this?” she asked as, still holding hands, they returned to the lodge proper. He probably should check to see if someone was taking note of the interaction between them, but he couldn’t keep what he was feeling to himself indefinitely.
“Ask Echo or Kolina,” he belatedly thought to say.
“But I want to know now.”
“Impatient?”
“I can be. When I was little I wanted to be a horse so I could run with the wind. I didn’t care whether I had anything to eat, just that I could gallop for hours.”
“Where did you want to go?”
“Anywhere.”
This wasn’t just a child’s desire for speed, he decided. There’d been something she’d wanted or needed to escape.
“Why?”
“Reasons,” she whispered. “They aren’t important now.”
“They are to me.”
She didn’t respond.
*
The convention room was to the right of the restaurant and down several steps, positioned so the south and west windows faced the lake. A door separated the two areas. It was usually kept shut since the convention area heated only when it was in use. However, stored decorations had been removed from the room earlier today and some heat had reached it. Haley guessed the temperature was in the low sixties.
She and Shaw were the only ones here. Tables and chairs had been stacked against the windowless walls, giving the space a stark quality, but the outside lights were on, affording them an unobstructed view of the storm. Snow, driven by erratic gusts, swirled about so the flakes looked as if they were drunk. Someone had changed the regular high intensity lights to red ones to celebrate Christmas. As a result, the flakes appeared as if they were on fire. Because she was unable to see as far as the lake, she felt a little hemmed in. Despite that she was glad she was here with Shaw.
Glad even though he might repeat his earlier question about why she’d wanted to take off when she was a child.
“I don’t know if anyone saw us come in,” he said. “If they did I’m thinking they’ll leave us alone.”
Alone with this man who cared how she was getting home and had held her hand in public.
“This way”—he pointed at the west facing windows—“we can watch the storm without risking frostbite.”
Thanks to her sweater and thick socks, she was warm. Until or unless she got cold, she would spend the entire evening with Shaw Chamberlin. Take chances and explore her feelings where he was concerned. Maybe touch his fingers—and more.
“Some of my neighbors used their snowmobiles to get here,” she said. “I’ll hitch a ride with one of them.”
He nodded, the gesture slow as if he was having trouble processing what she’d told him. “All right,” he said at length. “What a storm. I should have anticipated what Lake Serene could be like in winter, but I didn’t give it enough thought.”
“Because you had so much on your plate.”
“Because I didn’t have much choice about coming here.”
He’d been walking around. Now he positioned himself next to her and looked out at the red-cast night. The storm was a monster she suspected would soon wear itself out, but for as long as it lasted, it was in control. She couldn’t penetrate it any more than she could reach beyond Shaw’s personal shell—something she well understood.
“Had to?” she echoed.
“I needed a job. A reason.”
Much as she longed to ask him to explain, she remained where she was.
“So did I.” She didn’t want to talk about herself but maybe he would if she led the way—if she could. “My brother’s in-laws were selling their snowmobile business, and I didn’t want to work for the new owners. This job was what I needed.”
His hands had been in his jeans’ back pockets. Now he pulled them out and placed them flat against the window. Maybe he was leaving his fingerprints there. Years from now proof would remain that he’d once been here.
“You’re doing it again,” he said without looking at her.
“Doing what?”
He glanced at her then went back to studying the storm. “Hinting you are or were running from something.”
So are you. “I’m not on the lam if that’s what you’re thinking.” A few feet away nature flexed its mighty muscles. Snow was coating trees and burying trails. If this kept up, by morning customers wouldn’t be able to reach her operation. Even if they made it through and rented a snowmobile, the landmarks wouldn’t be there. The terrain would be virgin, the snow untouched. She longed to be the first person to glide over it and to not be alone during the journey.
“I’m glad you aren’t on the lam.” His attention remained on the world beyond them. “I’d hate seeing you being hauled off in handcuffs. Replacing you would be an inconvenience
.”
She was pretty sure he was joking but couldn’t be certain. More to the point, hearing the word handcuffs took her back. As many times as she’d fought to remain in the present, she should know how it was done, but it never got easy. Seeking distraction, she drew a smiley face in the condensation at the bottom of the windowpane. One eye was lower than the other and the upturned mouth looked as if whoever was smiling didn’t know how to keep the mood going. That was her all right.
“You don’t want to talk about it do you?” he asked.
“Most people have experienced things they wish they could forget. Besides…” She drew another face with wide eyes and flared nostrils. Point to remember, she did better depicting surprise than happiness.
“Besides what?”
He’d shifted his attention from the near blizzard to her. She wasn’t sure she could keep him at arms’ length, but she had to try, didn’t she? She also had to find a safe topic.
“I’m trying to decide what to get my brother and his family for Christmas,” she said. “I’m running out of time.”
“Yeah?”
He didn’t believe her. Fine. She couldn’t do anything about that any more than she could explain to herself why she’d taken the risk of coming in here with him.
“Yeah,” she repeated. “I’m a terrible shopper. I’d do it online if I knew what I was looking for. My nieces are teenagers, which means their tastes are constantly changing.” Relaxing a little, she dove into the subject. “My brother and I agreed not to buy for each other, but he means so much to me. I want to do something that expresses my love for him.”
He drew a face with bushy eyebrows and a beard. “I’ll probably do what I have in recent years.”
“Which is?”
“Donate to a charity in their names. Maybe the humane society this time.”
“That’s a great idea. What did you donate to before?”
The longer he remained silent, the more she wished she could read his mind. Their conversation seemed simple enough except she was learning that nothing was simple between them. She added a Santa Claus hat to his drawing.