by Linnea May
I’m surprised when she shows up with an open bottle of white wine and two glasses to join me on the sofa.
“It’s not even three o’clock!”
She nods, already pouring. “Yes, which means you should be at work, but you’re not. You were standing in front of my house, crying and saying Jim stole your phone and is trying to blackmail you.”
Elene raises an eyebrow at me, handing me one of the glasses. “So whatever this is about, it must be serious. And you know how we deal with serious.”
She gives me a benevolent smile while we clink glasses, and I already feel a thousand times better. I take a much larger swig from my glass than she does, needing the wine to loosen my tongue, because despite everything, it’ll still be hard for me to open up about all the things I need to share with Elene.
“And you mentioned Kade,” she continues, her curious gaze locking me down. “This isn’t Kade Armitage you’re talking about by any chance?”
The sigh I let out at her question reveals the answer I wasn’t ready to give. She must’ve suspected something was going on between us ever since the wedding, and I feel terrible for never officially telling her.
So I try to make up for it now, by spilling everything I’m comfortable sharing with her. I tell her about what happened at the wedding, and how I never wanted her to find out about it because I was scared I could ruin her special day. I told her about what Kade did to me, what kind of things he suggested we’d try together and how he brought me to her old workplace, The Velvet Rooms.
A broad grin spreads across her face when I tell her about that part, about how intrigued I was and how Kade made sure I was ready to go up to the red room with him.
“The red room, huh?” She grins. “I only ever used the black one.”
I’m inclined to ask her about it, but I’m not sure I’m ready to hear the answer. So I just continue, talking about all the doubts and worries I had, especially considering the things Kade did to me. And I tell her about the pictures he asked me to take for him. The pictures that are now in Jim’s hand, and with which he tried to threaten me.
“I mean, he’s kind of right,” I say, my voice trembling with insecurity. “It is sick, and—”
“Don’t say that! It’s not. You enjoyed it, didn’t you?”
I nod without hesitation. “Yes, but—”
“There is no ‘but.’ You liked it, you loved it, and from it sounds like, Kade was very careful and went about it just the way he’s supposed to. Like a true Velvet Room gentleman. He wouldn’t be allowed in there if he wasn’t a decent man, trust me.”
“Yes, but still, it’s not normal.”
“Oh screw normal, Lila. I thought that’s exactly what you were trying to get away from?”
I nod, feeling incredibly stupid. She’s right. Of course she’s right. Kade is everything Jim is not—and everything I was looking for. I enjoyed my time with him, and I know I want more.
Why can’t it be that easy?
“You’re even wearing his collar!” Elene pipes as she spots the collar peeking through above my turtleneck, just like I feared it would at some point.
I blush, instantly moving my hand up to my throat to shield myself from her curious but favorable eyes.
“That’s so cute,” she adds, assessing the situation in a completely different manner than Jim did.
I look at her, narrowing my eyes as I remember something else Jim said while we were fighting in front of my door. “Jim told me you said you were worried about me.”
Elene furrows her eyebrows for a moment before she responds.
“Oh yes, we talked very briefly when he congratulated me after the wedding,” she recalls. “And I might’ve said I was worried about you having a hangover, because you drank a lot. Maybe I mentioned seeing you walk around with Kade? But I swear that’s all I said. I never said anything about worrying about you!” she hurries to add. “I mean, why would I? I didn’t even know if anything was going on between you guys. I only saw you with him for a split second, so why would I even suspect anything? For all I know, you went home alone after my wedding.”
Her eyes are wide as she leans forward, placing her hand on mine. “Lila, I swear I didn’t tell him anything.”
I nod. “I trust you. He probably just twisted your words because he wanted to scare me.”
“It sure sounds like it,” she agrees. “It’s insane, really. I never thought Jim would ever do such a thing. He seemed like such a nice guy.”
I huff, shaking my head as a dark smile appears on my face. “Yeah, such a nice guy.”
A sigh escapes my lips as I empty my glass, seeking solace in the soothing wine.
“You know he’d only harm himself if he sent those pictures to our family, right?” Elene argues. “It’s an empty threat, and he knows that. He’s just trying to threaten you because he’s desperate and pathetic, and he knows how to push your buttons. He knows this will unsettle you, and he knows you’d be intimidated enough to do whatever he wants you to.”
“But he didn’t just threaten me!” I exclaim. “He’s threatening Kade, too! He says he’s going to call the police on him and tell them he beat me!”
Much to my surprise, Elene just shrugs at those words.
“So? Do you really think he’d get anywhere with that? It’s a David against Goliath kind of situation, Lila. And as ugly as it may be, a guy like Jim can do very little against the lawyer power that men like ours can gather if they need to. Besides, his allegations are untenable, at best. One word from you, the alleged victim, and the whole thing is over before it even begins.”
“Men like ours.” Elene talks about her marriage and my not-really-a-relationship with Kade as if they were the same thing. I wish she was right to do so, but with how things are at the moment, I probably shouldn’t give in to that hope.
“It could still taint Kade’s name, even though it’s bullshit.”
Elene shakes her head. “No it wouldn’t. He’d make sure of that.”
She clears her throat, looking uncomfortable when she adds, “I knew men like him long before I married Damon, Lila. I’ve worked for them, seen them at The Velvet Rooms. They all swim in money and power, and they know how to use it to keep their name clean, even if they actually did fuck up. Kade didn’t even do anything wrong with you. It’s child’s play to him. Trust me, he’ll just laugh if Jim sends the police after him.”
“But his reputation,” I interject. “You know he’s trying to build a business here, together with your husband! Don’t you think it… I don’t know, it makes him look bad.”
“What makes him look bad?”
“The whole… kink thing, and the club.”
I jerk up when Elene bursts out laughing, almost spilling her wine on the pricey sofa.
“Oh, Lila, you crack me up!” she shouts, still laughing. “You think his kink and being a member at The Velvet Rooms could make him look bad among his peers? They all go there!”
I blush as I realize how ridiculous I must sound to her. As special and somewhat wrong as this whole thing seems to me, Elene lives in a world where such play is a prevailing leisure activity and not the disturbed abuse Jim wants me to believe it is.
“Did you talk to Kade yet?” Elene asks. “Because I really think you should.”
“I can’t. I can’t contact him without my phone, and I have no idea where to find him.”
“Oh, but I know!” Elene blurts out, sweeping away my tense worry and replacing it with sheer surprise.
Chapter 33
Kade
I don’t know who’s more bewildered at seeing Lila and her sister burst into our meeting room, me or Damon, who obviously didn’t his wife to show up. For a split second, we all just stand there, baffled gazes locked onto each other while tense silence stretches between us.
“Elene? Is everything okay?” Damon breaks the silence, now looking more worried than surprised.
His wife nods, raising her hand in an appeasing manner.
“I’m fine. Are you guys about done here?”
She stands a lot taller than Lila, who’s hiding behind her sister’s back, carrying herself in a much weaker stance, slouching a little as if scared of being seen. She’s wearing a turtleneck dress, which hides the collar that I still know to be around her throat. I wish I could see it.
Her eyes find mine, an expression of worry and sorrow casting a shadow over her pretty face. She looks like she’s been crying. Seeing her like this feels as if someone’s tightening a noose around my throat, making it hard to breathe and even harder to swallow.
“Yes, I think we’re done,” Damon says. “We were just about to get some coffee.”
“Good, I’ll join you,” Elene says, turning to her sister with questioning eyes. “You’ll be okay?”
Lila responds with a silent nod.
I notice the puzzled looks Greg and Damon exchange when Elene escorts them out the room while I stay behind without having any idea what’s to come next.
“I’m sorry” is the first thing Lila says once the door closes behind them.
“For what?” I approach her, wanting to touch her, kiss her, hold her, and take away whatever crap this idiot left all over her last night. Did he do this to her? Did he make her look like the world came crumbling down on her?
“For showing up like this,” she says, pointing to the door. “Elene knew you were in a meeting with her husband, and she said we could—”
“Don’t worry about it. I’m glad to see you.”
She doesn’t retreat when I close in on her, about to cautiously place my hands on her shoulders to test the water. Her reaction could give me a hint at what she’s about to say. If she jerks away, then I’ll know it’s over, that the bastard won and screwed with her head well enough to make her doubt everything we had and run back to safety, possibly even back into his arms.
She doesn’t reject my touch. On the contrary, she welcomes it. Her whole posture changes, her face softens, and she even lets out a little sigh as I rest my hands on her shoulders. It’s been less than twenty-four hours since we last saw each other, but it feels like it’s been a lot longer than that—days, weeks even.
“I was beginning to worry,” I tell her. “Why did you ignore my calls?”
An apologetic expression graces her face. “I didn’t ignore you. I didn’t see them. Jim stole my phone.”
“He did what?”
“Last night. I don’t know how and when, but he has my phone, Kade.” She sounds desperate. “He has my phone, and he’s seen the pictures.”
Vicious rage boils where a forgiving heart should be.
That fucking bastard! So that’s what I saw him pick up last night after Lila ran upstairs. How could I not have known? Why didn’t I stop him? Why didn’t I go after him?
“Shit, I’m such an idiot,” I hiss. Lila raises her eyebrows. “I saw him. I saw him pick it up after you went inside last night. It must’ve fallen out of your purse when he was pushing you against the door and you were—”
“You saw us? But I told you to leave!”
“Yes, and I did. But I wanted to make sure you weren’t in any real danger. I couldn’t just leave you alone with him, but I didn’t interfere. Though, in retrospect, I probably should’ve.”
She smiles at me, looking flattered. “That’s so cute. You’re protective.”
I growl in response, taking her pretty face between my hands before I lean down to kiss her. Our lips meet as if it’s the first time, carefully tasting each other before we melt into an actual kiss. Her sweet flavor carries a hint of alcohol, most likely white wine, that makes her tongue move faster than mine, greedily asking for more than what I can give her here in this room, at this time.
I keep my lips on hers while my fingers trails up to her neck, gently pulling down the turtleneck to expose the collar underneath. She’s still wearing it, of course she is. She has no way of taking it off herself, because I have the key.
Still, feeling the metal encircle her neck calms me, reassuring me that she’s mine.
She sighs when I break our kiss, her cheeks flushed and her eyes hazy with lust.
“I missed you,” she whispers. “I know that’s silly, given we just saw each other last night, but….” She bites her lower lip, her eyelashes fluttering. “I thought I was going to lose you.”
“Why?” I probe, caressing her left cheek with my thumb. “Why on Earth would you think that?”
“Because Jim said he’s going to share the pictures with everyone and tell the police you’re physically abusing me. I thought he could destroy your reputation.”
“I’d love to see him try,” I say, suppressing the urge to punch a fucking wall. Or better yet, that guy’s face.
How dare he fucking do this to her? How dare he get between us? And how pathetic is he to believe he could actually go through with it?
“It’s ridiculous, Lila,” I tell her. “Trust me, even if he did all those things—which I doubt he will, as it sounds like an empty threat to me—he wouldn’t get anywhere with it. It would destroy him rather than me.”
A smile crosses her face. “Yeah, Elene said the same thing.”
“Well, your sister is right. He’s the only criminal here. Stealing your phone and trying to blackmail you? A man must be incredibly stupid to think that’s the best way to win a woman’s heart.”
Relief dances across her face, culminating in the most beautiful smile I’ve ever seen on her.
“Oh yeah? So how do you win a woman’s heart?”
I meet her gaze with a promising smirk, moving my hand down to her neck and closing my fingers around it, squeezing slightly. “Come with me and I’ll show you.”
Epilogue I
Lila
My lips barely connect with the cane, leaving more of a gentle caress than an actual kiss as I show my appreciation for the tool I’ve come to love and fear the most.
“Tell me, Lila,” he whispers, withdrawing the cane and holding it above me. “Why nine lashes?”
I tilt my head back, a soft smile tugging at the corners of my mouth when our eyes meet and I see the beautiful prospect in his gaze.
“Nine for each month I’ve loved you,” I respond, my voice soft and loving. “Nine for each month I’ve had the pleasure to be with you, to grow with you, to learn with you, and to share my life with you.”
The expression on his face changes, losing the tense focus that’s usually prevalent when we’re playing and making room for a smile I’ve rarely seen in here, in our room. Our very own refuge dipped in red, just like the room that brought us together.
But this one isn’t part of The Velvet Rooms. We haven’t left that place behind us—and I hope we never will—but we’ve reached a point where a semipublic playroom is no longer enough for us. It’s still there, always ready for us to use if we find ourselves in a more adventurous mood, one that would allow for others to hear us, to see us, and to share that very special moment of bliss with us.
But more often than not, it has to be just the two of us.
Just us, in our home.
I moved in with him last month, and when he said he wanted to celebrate tonight, I thought he was talking about our one-month anniversary of living together. He bought the house for us, just a little outside the city, not too far from where my sister settled with her husband.
Living so close to them not only strengthened our sisterly bond, it also comes in handy for our husbands and their joint business. As successful as they are with it, their endeavor also comes with a lot disagreements, born from different characters that share similar goals. I don’t know if Kade will ever fully embrace his new role and this new way of dealing with his ideas, but it’s safe to say that he’s good at what he’s doing, and he’s growing with it.
I’m met with surprise when he drops to his knees in front of me so we’re at eye level.
“The pleasure is all mine,” he says solemnly. “I must thank you for the trust you’ve shown in me, the c
ommitment you were ready to give, even when I didn’t know whether I wanted it, or even deserved it.”
The smile on his face widens as he shakes his head slowly. “I still don’t know how you do it. How you manage to keep me on my toes like that, how you created something I deemed impossible for myself. You’re so effortlessly perfect for me, Lila.”
I don’t know how to reply, struck by this honest and fond admission of feelings that I fail to comprehend myself.
Why is he being so overly sweet today? Is it because he knows how scared I am? How much the thought of receiving nine burning strikes with the cane intimidates me? I asked for the cane when he made me choose, but that doesn’t mean I’m looking forward to the agony I’m about to receive.
The cane provides a challenge that’s more demanding than being kissed with strings of leather. I’ve grown used to the feel of a flogger on my skin, and the whip, or his belt. The affliction is still very real, very painful and robs me off my sanity anew every time, but it doesn’t compare to the sizzling heights I experience with the cane.
I asked for a challenge tonight, and I’m ready to accept it.
If only he would get on with it.
He reads the expression on my face just as I want him to, nodding with understanding as he rises to his feet and towers before me like he did before.
“Nine lashes, then,” he announces. “Remember your safe word.”
“I won’t need it.”
He chuckles at my sassy response and moves behind me while I lean forward as well as I can with my hands tied behind my back. I hollow on instinct, my bare ass serving as a blank canvas for him to paint his picture.
He waits until I’ve found a good position, weighing the cane against my back as if he’s trying to hold me in place with it. I stiffen at the touch, already tasting the pain I’ll have to endure in just a few moments.
“Nine strikes,” he says. “Nine for each month of our joint past.”
I remain silent, already retreating inside my head, where I’m about to find solace in my thoughts while the cane bites into my skin.