A Younger Man

by Linda Turner

  Frustrated, Max shrugged. “I don’t know. I hope so.”

  “You mean you haven’t told her how you feel about her? Dammit, Max, are you trying to lose her? A woman has to be told these things!”

  “Well, I just found out myself,” he retorted. “How the heck was I supposed to tell her when I didn’t know myself?”

  “You’ve got to tell her, son,” he said grimly. “Especially if she’s going to see her ex again. They’ve got a history…and children! That makes him dangerous. You have to let her know how you feel about her.”

  “She’s got a lot on her mind right now, Dad.”

  “Which is all the more reason why she needs to know that you love her,” he replied. “Just think about it. Going through a crisis alone is tough. She needs to know you’re in her corner and why.”

  He made sense, but telling her he loved her when he’d never let himself love a woman before wasn’t something he was going to rush into. “I’ll think about it,” he said roughly. “That’s all I can promise.”

  Satisfied, his father squeezed his shoulder and grinned. “Quit fighting it, son. C’mon in. The water’s fine.”

  Long after his father left, Max couldn’t get his father’s words—or grin—out of his head. He couldn’t blame his father for being so amused. How many times over the years had he claimed he was never going to fall in love, never make the mistakes his old man had? And now here he was, up to his neck in love. The joke was on him, and he couldn’t complain. He was crazy about the woman.

  Her stomach twisted in painful knots, Natalie approached the pavilion at McCormick Park on legs that were far from steady. Every instinct she had told her to turn around and get the hell out of there. She didn’t care what Derek wanted. She didn’t want to see him, didn’t want to talk to him, didn’t want to dredge up all the old anger and hurt from the past. She was in love with Max, and even if there was no future in that, she’d moved on with her life and left Derek far behind. She wanted nothing to do with him.

  He’s their father…you’re going to open up a whole can of worms if you don’t let him see them…. Find out what’s going on, then decide what you want to do about it… It’s the only way you’re going to be able to deal with this….

  Max’s words echoed over and over in her head, but even though she knew he was right, she readily admitted that she was still terrified. She didn’t have the money to fight him if he wanted to fight for custody. And he had to know that.

  Run! Not for the first time, the thought blinked like a neon light in her head, but she couldn’t avoid Derek forever. The sooner she got this over with, the better. Straightening her shoulders, she picked up her pace and wasn’t surprised to find him waiting for her at the pavilion. He’d always been irritatingly early for appointments. Seated at one of the cement picnic tables, he rose to his feet as she drew near.

  She saw in an instant that time had been good to him since she’d seen him last. Tall and slender, his blond hair and mustache neatly trimmed, he looked fantastic. She wasn’t surprised—he’d always been a good-looking man. She could appreciate that…and the fact that her heart didn’t lurch—not even once!—at the sight of him, vastly relieved her mind. The old feelings she’d once had for him were completely gone. Instead all she felt was wariness.

  “You wanted to see me,” she said by way of a greeting. “Here I am.”

  She wasn’t going to make it easy for him, and he knew it. “You’re looking good, Natalie.”

  “What do you want, Derek? You didn’t come all this way to comment on my looks.”

  “No, I didn’t,” he agreed. “I came to apologize.”

  Surprised, she blinked. He didn’t throw the words around lightly—apologies had never come easily for him. “There was a time when I’d have killed to hear those words from you just so I could throw them back in your face,” she said, studying him suspiciously. “I’ve gotten past that, thank God. So why now? Why, after all this time, have you decided to apologize?”

  “Debbie and I got married—”

  Insulted, she glared at him. “If you’re waiting for me to congratulate you, you’ve got a long wait.”

  “Damn it, Natalie, I didn’t say that to hurt you,” he snapped. Swearing, he sighed. “Would you just listen to me, please? We got married four years ago. What I’m trying to say, and apparently not very well, is that we’re married and we had a baby last month. A little girl. Her name is Jessica.”

  Natalie stopped dead in her tracks, pain squeezing her heart. They had a baby? Her sons had a sister? “The last I heard, you didn’t want children,” she said coldly.

  His shoulders slumped. “You have every right to hate me,” he told her quietly. “What I did to you and our sons was outrageous. There’s nothing I can say, no apology I can give you, that can make up for that. Debbie and I never argue…except about you. She never agreed with the way I left you and the boys. She’s hounded me for years to make amends.”

  “But you didn’t.”

  To his credit he didn’t try to make excuses. “I was a jackass, okay? A stubborn, stupid jackass. Then I held Jessica in my arms, and everything changed.”

  He was a man who seldom showed emotion, but his entire expression softened at the mention of his daughter. “She’s the most amazing baby. And I know you’re probably not going to believe this, but the first time I held her, I was haunted by what I had done to my sons and their mother. I want my children to know and love each other—”

  “You’re not taking them, Derek!”

  “I wasn’t suggesting that,” he assured her. “After what I did, I lost any right to ask anything of you where they’re concerned. I just hope that at some point, you can find it in your heart to forgive me. That’s why I’m really here. As much as I’d love for the kids to grow up knowing each other, I know that’s never going to happen until I make peace with you.”

  He’d hurt her so much. Did he really think he could say I’m sorry and everything would be all right again? “You made me hate you,” she said huskily. “Do you have a clue what you’re asking of me?”

  “You can’t hate me any more than I hate myself,” he replied grimly. “I know this isn’t something that’s going to happen overnight, if ever. I just want you to think about it. That’s all.”

  Long after he left, Natalie sat at one of the nearby picnic tables, staring blindly at the park. Her sons had a baby sister. For some reason she’d never considered the possibility that Derek would have other children, not after he’d walked away from his sons before they were even born. And now he wanted her to forgive him? To act as if he’d never walked out on her? To forget that in the past five years, he’d never once called her about the boys to see if they were all right or needed anything?

  “Are you okay?”

  Lost in her thoughts, she glanced up to find Max standing at the edge of the pavilion, watching her in concern. Tears welled in her eyes. “Oh, Max!”

  He took a step toward her, and just that quickly she was in his arms. “I’m so glad you came!”

  Holding her close, he chuckled. “You didn’t really think I was going to let you go through this all by yourself, did you? I know you wanted to handle it on your own, but I had to be close, just in case.” Pulling back slightly, he cupped her face in his hands. “I couldn’t hear what the two of you were saying, but you looked like you were holding your own. What happened?”

  Up until then, she’d held it together fairly well, but now that she was safe in his arms, she couldn’t hold back the emotions threatening to tear her apart. “He has a baby girl,” she choked. “He wants her to know her twin brothers.”

  The tears spilled over her lashes then, and there was nothing she could do to stop them. “I’m sorry,” she sniffed, burying her face against his chest. “I just wasn’t expecting this.”

  “Don’t you dare apologize for being upset,” he said huskily. “This has got to be like a kick in the heart for you. All this time he completely ignored the boys
like they didn’t even exist and now he wants to make amends just because he has a daughter? That stinks. What about for his sons’ sake? Does he realize what he did to them for five lousy years? Does he know what he did to you? Does he care?”

  “He admitted he’d been a stubborn jackass.” Pulling back, she gave a watery smile. “And Debbie, apparently, has been giving him grief about the boys for years. I have to admit, that made me feel good.”

  Grinning, he chuckled. “Tacky, tacky, sweetheart.”

  “Okay, so I’m human.” She shrugged. “I admit it. What he did to me is one thing. But he walked out on his children, Max. He wasn’t even there when they were born. I called his mother because I felt like she deserved to know that she had twin grandsons, and she called him. I don’t know what they said to each other, but I never heard a word from him.”

  “At least he seems to realize what a mistake he made,” he replied. “If he was sincere.”

  “Oh, no, he was sincere,” she said, remembering the look on Derek’s face when he’d talked about his daughter. “He regrets what he did—there’s no question of that.”

  “So how did you leave it? Did you accept his apology?”

  “He told me to think about it,” she replied, “but there’s really nothing to think about. This isn’t about me and Derek anymore. It’s about the boys and their sister. It’s very important that the three of them have a relationship as they grow up, and they can’t do that if Derek and I are at each other’s throats. So I have to find a way to bury the hatchet someplace other than in his head.”

  “That’s a tall order, sweetheart. Think you can do it?”

  “I have to,” she said simply. “For the boys. My only concern is them and seeing that this is done right. They can’t be rushed into a relationship with their father and sister—they’re going to be confused and have a lot of questions. We have to give them time.”

  Taking her hand, Max kissed it. “Did I ever tell you how much you amaze me? You’re a great mother. The boys are lucky to have you.”

  She smiled slightly. “Thank you, but I don’t think I’m anything out of the ordinary. I bet your mother did the same thing for you.”

  “Actually, she did.” He laughed. “How did you know?”

  “Because you wouldn’t be so concerned for the boys if your mother hadn’t made sure that your feelings were protected all those times your dad got married and divorced.” Smiling up into his eyes, she said, “Did I say thank you?”

  Surprised, he blinked. “For what?”

  “For being here for me. I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t shown up on my doorstep yesterday. I was in a full-blown panic, and suddenly there you were.” Tears glistened in her eyes. “And you came again today—”

  “Even though you didn’t want me to,” he said.

  “Only because this isn’t your problem and I hated to drag you into it. You’ve been so wonderful—”

  “Sweetheart, don’t you get it?” he cut in. “This is my problem. Anything to do with you and the boys is my problem…because I love you.”

  He watched stunned surprise bloom in her eyes and grinned ruefully. “I guess I sort of caught you off guard, huh? I hadn’t meant to tell you this way—you deserve candlelight and romance—but I can’t wait for that. You need to know how I feel now. I love you.”

  Not giving her time to say a word, he pulled her into his arms and kissed her until her head was spinning, her heart was pounding and her feet no longer seemed to touch the ground. Dizzy, convinced she was dreaming, she wanted to laugh, to cry, to never let him go. But first she had to be sure.

  “Don’t do this if you’re not positive,” she told him, pulling back to study his face with searching eyes. “I love you too much to just want the words, Max. You know I’m a package deal. I don’t play around. I don’t have affairs, not when I have kids to consider and an example to set. If you don’t love me enough to go the whole nine yards, then tell me now.”

  Over the last few months, she’d seen him grin and laugh and flash his dimples, but she’d never seen him smile at her as he did then, with his heart shining in his eyes and a love that was so tender it made her want to cry. “Sweetheart, do you think I don’t know that? I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life. I love you! Do you know how incredible that is? I’ve never said those words to a woman before. All these years, I thought my father was crazy, that he was confusing lust with love, and it turns out he was right all along.”

  “Oh, Max!”

  “I want to spend the rest of my life with you. And just so there’s no misunderstanding, I’m talking marriage. And you don’t have to worry about the boys. You know I’m crazy about them. Regardless of what happens with their father, I’ll love and protect and cherish them just like I will you. So…will you marry me?”

  Tears glistening in her eyes, there was only one thing left to say. “Yes.”

  Epilogue

  Her heart in her throat, Natalie saw Derek’s car pull into her driveway and had to fight the urge to bar the door. “He’s here,” she told the boys. “It’s going to be okay, guys. There’s nothing to be afraid of.”

  Her sons stood at Max’s side, each one clinging to his pant leg, staring up at her with identical expressions of uneasiness. And Max wasn’t much better. Oh, he seemed relaxed enough, with an arm around each boy’s shoulder, but she wasn’t fooled. There was a don’t-mess-with-us look in his eyes that Derek would see in a heartbeat. “This is going to be nice and easy and nonthreatening. Remember?” she said, shooting Max a pointed look. “We’re just going to visit and get to know each other.”

  “Of course,” he said, amazed she would think he had any other agenda. “The boys don’t have to worry about anything. They know we’re here for them and we always will be. Isn’t that right, boys?”

  “Yeah, Mom,” Harry said eagerly. “Max says we’re all one big happy family now, and family looks after family. Is our daddy part of our family?”

  “Yes, he is, sweetheart, though I don’t know how often you’re going to see him since he doesn’t live here. Right now, we just want to see how this meeting goes. Okay? Everything takes time.”

  The doorbell rang, and Natalie frowned at the boys worriedly. They stepped behind Max, using him as cover, and Natalie couldn’t really blame them. This had to be as unsettling for them as it was for her. “It’s okay, boys. Nothing’s going to happen that you don’t want to.”

  “Do we have to hug him, Mom?”

  Her heart broke at Harry’s plaintive question. “Your daddy’s not going to force you to do anything you don’t want to do,” she promised him. I’ll make sure of it. She didn’t say the words, but she didn’t have to. Her eyes met Max’s, and she knew they were both on the same page.

  She went to answer the door and was surprised to see Derek standing there alone. “I thought you were bringing Debbie.”

  “The baby was fussy—she seems to be coming down with a cold. Is that a problem?”

  “No, not at all,” she said easily. “The boys were just looking forward to seeing her.” Pulling the door wider, she said, “Come in.”

  A few seconds later he followed her into the den, where the three men in her life were waiting. Not surprisingly, Derek stopped short at the sight of Max. She hadn’t told him anyone else would be there—or that she was engaged. For now she was holding that news close to her heart. Today was about the boys.

  Quickly introducing the two men, she went to stand by Max and smile down at the boys as they moved between the two of them. “This is Harry and Tommy,” she told Derek quietly. “Boys, this is your daddy.”

  To his credit, he didn’t try to rush them. Sinking down into a chair halfway across the room from them, he said, “Hi, guys. Wow, you really are identical! You even dress alike and everything. Do you like being twins?”

  He couldn’t have said anything that would have pleased them more—they loved being twins!—but they were still wary. Not budging from
where they stood, one latched on to her and the other grabbed on to Max. Tommy did, however, volunteer, “We’re mirror twins.”

  When Derek looked at her in confusion, she explained, “Tommy’s left-handed and Harry’s right.”

  “No kidding? You know, my grandpa and his brother were twins, too,” he told Tommy. “And I think one of them was left-handed. Maybe that’s where you get it from.”

  “Max is left-handed, too,” Harry said, smiling shyly. “Just like Tommy.”

  Encouraged, Derek grinned. “So that means you’re like me—right-handed.”

  As far as starts went, it wasn’t a great one, but some of the tension seemed to drain out of the boys. Tommy was the first to bring up the baby. “Do we really have a sister?”

  “Yes, you do,” he said, pleased. “Her name’s Jessica. She’s just a month old, but when she’s older, you guys can all play together.”

  “Maybe you could send them some pictures,” Natalie said quietly. “Then they can put them on their wall in their room with Grandma’s picture and Uncle Steve’s and their best friends from school.”

  “I’ll do that,” he promised. “Just as soon as I get home.”

  They had agreed to limit the first meeting to ten minutes, and that was just about over. Glancing at her watch, Natalie said, “You guys need to get ready for Larry Drake’s birthday party, don’t you? Why don’t you tell your dad ’bye and go change? Your clean clothes are laid out on your bed.”

  “Okay!”

  “’Bye, Daddy!”

  Relieved, they rushed down the hall to their room, leaving behind a silence that was tense and awkward. Derek was the first to break it. “Well, I suppose I shouldn’t complain. At least they talked to me.”

  “It’s going to take time,” Natalie told him. “You knew that.”

  He forced a smile that was little more than a grimace of disappointment. “I have no one to blame but myself. I lost my chance to be a father to them when I walked away.”

  “They’re good kids,” Max told him gruffly. “This is just strange for them.”