by T. S. Hill
“I’m glad we chose this location to meet.”, I said looking into Lori’s eyes. “This looks like it’s going to be a great place to spend some time away from prying eyes and bothersome people. Well, Sasha Adamson, if you haven’t had lunch, I would love to buy you two lovely ladies lunch.”, I said, using the Adamson name to let Lori know that I got it. “This little café has delicious food!”
“Do they have vegan?”, Sasha asked. Lori jumped right in.
“Actually, yes dear, there is a sizable vegan section in their menu.”
“Cool!”, Sasha replied. “Look, I don’t want you guys to get the wrong idea about the vegan stuff. I’m not one of those judgmental libtards, that thinks everyone should be just like them. You guys eat any meat, or whatever you want to. It’s not going to offend, or upset, me in the least. I think everyone should eat whatever it is they like. I just happen to like vegan is all. No politics involved. No animal rights, nut case shit going on either. I just try to be me, and believe that everyone else deserves to be left alone to just be themselves too.”
“Well.”, I began. “I’m actually glad that you went to the trouble to explain that Sasha. I plan to enjoy a nice sandwich that includes a big pile of turkey breast in the middle! I can do so now, without shame or guilt.” Sasha smiled at me. Lori snickered.
“Ask the waiter to bring the guest menu, Stan. Maybe it won’t show the Freudian allusions next to what you plan to order.” Sasha giggled and covered her mouth and nose with her hand.
“What?”, I asked.
Lori spoke to Sasha, “Do you want to point it out to him, or should I?’. They both giggled, and Sasha answered her, “Go ahead! He’s your boyfriend.”
Lori looked me in the eyes and said, “a nice sandwich that includes a big pile of turkey breast in the middle?”
“Yeah, what?”, I questioned. They both giggled again.
“A nice ‘sandwich’, that includes ‘a big pile of breast’, in the ‘middle,’ Lori drawled out.
“Oh!”, I said. Okay. I get it. Let’s just get the menus and order, or do both of you already plan on having a foot-long hot dog?”
“Stan.” Lori waded back in, “Your jokes and timing?”
“Oh, I thought it was cute!”, Sasha piped in.
“Don’t encourage him dear, most of them are poorly timed, or just semi-lame.
“They’re still funny!”, I protested.
“This is fun!”, Sasha said, smiling really big. I really like you guys! You just don’t have any pretensions, or hold anything back. You’re out there! Kinda like me! What you see is what you get!”
I guess it was just me being male or too much testosterone, but when Sasha said that, I looked straight to her mounded tits. Lori was looking at me, and burst out laughing. Sasha caught it and covered her mouth and nose again with her hands. But underneath her hands she was giggling almost deliriously.
“Oops! My bad!”, she said.
“No, honey! That one was funny.”, Lori replied.
“I feel like I’m being discriminated against!”, I said jokingly.
“Sexually discriminated?”, Lori asked.
“Can we please just order?”, I asked in a frustrated tone. Sasha was still giggling, with her huge melons jiggling beneath the skin tight pink fabric.
The waiter finally made it over with menus and took our orders. After he had left, I dove back into the conversation. I don’t know if it was because Sasha had professed to being open, and as she said, ‘What you see is what you get.’, or if maybe it was a bit of meanness surfacing in me. Either way, I took the conversation a whole leap from where it had been.
“So, Sasha.”, I waded right in, “Are you primarily attracted to men, or do you have a little bisexual streak to?” I glanced at Lori, and once again she had a blank poker face. Sasha was unfazed by the question, and quickly replied, in a matter of fact tone.
“Actually, I find women more attractive, but don’t get me wrong, I like men too, but mostly in the context of a three way.”
“Like with two guys?”, I asked.
“No! Hell no!”, she replied. “I can barely tolerate one man by himself. There’s no way in hell that I would take on two at once. I’m not a self-masochist! I’m talking about the guy being with me, and a female partner. Like yesterday. Or, sorta like that anyway. That kind of three way is actually my preference. If I ever find the perfect relationship, that will be it. Me and my gal friend with our man!”
“Let me get this straight!”, I said shaking my head, and noticing Lori smiling at me with her hands folded under her chin. “Your first preference is you, and your girlfriend, with a guy?”
“Yep!”, Sasha responded.
“Then your next preference down the ranks, is you and a woman?”
“El correcto!”, she quipped back, with a faint smile.
“Next down the line would be you and just one man.” She nodded her head affirmative and smiled a little more.
“Then after that, two men?”
“No! Then after that, you get into “I don’t do that shit!” The more men you add, the more I don’t do it!”
“Two women and you?” I was getting curious.
“Only did that once. It was ok. Nothing to write home about. I guess I might do that again, under just the right circumstances.”
“Three women and you?”, I ventured.
“Never been there. Not saying that I wouldn’t, but I imagine that would be a lot like the two women and me. I’d only be willing to go for that under just the right circumstances, with just the right people. The two girls and me and the three girls and me, would have to be relationship stuff, but I’m just not seeing the likelihood of that kind of relationship stuff happening.” At the end of the day, perfect for me would be, to be in a committed relationship with a couple. A really neat couple, like you guys!”
“Now!”, Sasha paused. “You know about my sexual preferences, what about you guys?”
“Sasha if you don’t mind.”, I directed back to her, “I have a couple of more things before we get into that. Tell us about your fainting.”
She looked down into her lap. “I didn’t really faint. You guys know that. I just didn’t want to put you on the spot, and scare you off. I really found you guys amazing, except that last thing. I didn’t understand that, and I still don’t. But, I don’t care about that if we can be friends. I saw a tear trickle down her bruised and taped nose. Can we?”, she asked meekly. Lori reached across to Sasha, and held her hands which were in her lap.
“We’ll see, Sasha, I said softly, it’s just a bit early to be declaring undying friendship, don’t you think?” She nodded her head. “Sasha, I don’t mean to be an asshole or anything, but I need to know that you’re the real thing. I’m going to need you to empty your purse on the table.” Without looking up, she sat her purse on the table and then reaching for the bottom, turned it upside down, shaking out the contents.
First thing, I picked up her cell phone. “Pass code?”, I requested.
“Zero, six, nine, seven.”, She answered, “My birth date.”
“June of ninety-seven?”, Lori asked, making conversation with the girl, while I rifled through her phone.
“Yeah, Sasha sobbed, still looking down into her lap.
“It’s okay, honey.”, Lori said trying to comfort the girl. “Stan likes you! He just has to be careful. It’s nothing personal with you. Believe me! He likes you!
I shot a cutting glance at Lori as I tossed the separated battery and cell phone back into Sasha’s purse. She smiled at me and winked. I took that to mean that maybe she didn’t mind if I did, like the girl, or maybe she was letting me know that she was just saying that to keep the girl calm. I quickly gave up trying to figure it out and focused on the remainder of the scattered contents of Sasha’s purse. I found nothing out of the ordinary and placing it all back, pushed the purse back across the table to Sasha.
One last thing Sasha. I need you to stand and pull your blouse up
to just beneath your boobs. I know that this is all strange, but believe me, it’s completely necessary. You’ll understand later. Silently and still looking down, she stood and tugged the tail of her blouse from the waist of her skirt, then gathering and pulling, she lifted the wadded blouse, up to her boobs, and then higher, lifting her boobs against her chin. With some nice underboob showing, there was no way for her to pull the blouse any higher. Her massive boobs had the blouse wedged in place.
“Okay, that’s fine Sasha.”, I said.
“You can pull your blouse back down now.”, Lori added. I wasn’t sure if that was meant for Sasha, or me. I set it aside in my mind and continued.
“Do you have any kind of recording device on you at all Sasha?”, I queried.
“No! Why the hell would I?”, she asked, readjusting the pink blouse fabric across her tits.
“It’s just that in the profession that I’m in, I can’t be too careful.”, I replied.
“Wow!”, she said, “Are you some kind of fucking spies?”
“No.”, Lori answered, laughing. Just some kind of security work. Now, what kind of questions do you have that you want us to answer?”
“About sex stuff?”, Sasha asked.
“Sure, why not!”, I answered.
“Fire away!”, chimed in Lori. Sasha had dried up her tears, and seemed to be excited about having her turn at asking questions.
“So, what do you guys like?”, she asked.
“That’s a rather hard to answer, general question.”, Lori responded.
“I like girls!” I piped in.
“Just one, or more than one, or all of them, or what?”, Sasha asked.
“Yeah, or what Stan?”, Lori added.
“Well I used to like all of them. I replied. But lately, I was just liking one. But then something reminded me, that in my dark and sordid past, I had on a few occasions, liked more than one at one time. But, there was always this catch. I always liked one better. And now, I’m positive that’ll stay true for the rest of my life.”
“I glanced at Lori and she was smiling at me with a knowing, and loving look in her eyes. Sasha set her eyes on Lori.
“What about you Miss Lori?” Lori’s eyes got big.
“I’m not that much older than you! Call me Lori.
“Okay, Lori.”, the girl said. “What do you like? Men? Women? Both? What’s your hierarchy of relationship and sexual partner likes and dislikes?” The girl had been blatantly open with us, and was now putting us on the spot. Pretty much asking us to confront, and define, our feelings, thoughts, likes and dislikes.
When Sasha had caught on to Lori’s comment about the Freudian allusion, I knew that we weren’t dealing with a ditzy blonde. Now, I was sure that she wasn’t going to let us off the hook, until we had fully answered her questions.
“Okay.”, Lori slowly began, looking directly at me, and more so addressing me, than Sasha. “I have struggled with this internally for a while. I’ve thought about it, wondered about it, and worried about it too. I had never acted on it before. I always thought one man and one woman. That was it. Never even fantasized about having more than one man at once. But then there were these feelings for some women, not all of them. But it’s definitely an affinity and sexual attraction.”
“Like you Sasha. The time we spent walking around together, being girly, I love that! And yeah, I find you very attractive, and highly desirable in a sexual way. I probably understand why a man is attracted to you better than almost anybody. That’s why I haven’t bitch slapped Stan here, for the case of titty eyes he’s had ever since you got here. Because, quite frankly, I’ve had them too! But also, I’m still not comfortable in my own skin, with facing this, and admitting it to myself, and Stan, and you.”
“It’s okay to feel uncomfortable Lori!”, Sasha answered. “I’m sure that you were raised as a child to think that there was one and only one normal. It takes a while to get past that mind washing we all had as children. Our parents meant well, but really, they weren’t teaching us reality. It was like Santa Clause and the Easter Bunny, except they forgot to tell us the truth about the Sex Fairy.” Lori and I both chuckled.
“That’s a really good way to put it!”, Lori and I both said, word for word in unison.
“Oh wow!”, Sasha exclaimed. You two really are tuned to each other. Like some kind of psychic thing or something!”
“Lori and I staring into each other’s eyes, both answered again, in unison, “Yeah, we are!”
“Wooow!”, Sasha marveled at us, as her blue eyes got really big. I would give anything to be a part of a relationship like that! You guys are so lucky to have that. Did you just fall into a relationship with each other, or was it something that one or both of you pursued?”
“I’d say, that one of us actually dove into it.”, I started answering while looking at Lori, “and then both of us have worked at it.” By the time I finished speaking, Lori was smiling and nodding her head.
“So how long have you two been together?”, she asked.
“One week.”, we both answered together again.
“Oh! Fuck me! You guys are crazy! Really? One fucking week? Holy fucking shit! You’re amazing! What’s your secret to getting dialed in to each other so quickly?”
“Well, Lori likes to use the word “fucking”, quite a lot, and evidently, it just does something for us.”, I replied.
“Really? Me too!”, Sasha exclaimed.
“Don’t get too excited honey.”, Lori jumped in. “He’s just poking at you and me, he’s done that about my using “fucking” so frequently as an adjective, ever since I met him.”
“Well saying it a lot, and doing it a lot, both probably contributed to our being so sync’d.”, I quipped.
“Stan, I’m beginning to warm to your wry sense of humor.”, Sasha said.
“Yeah, it’s not so bad, I just have to have something to rib him about.”, Lori commented.
“So, Lori.”, Sasha jumped back in, “What’s your preference hierarchy? Like mine starts with couples, and then a woman, etc. How does yours go? And then we’re going to get Stan to tell us his. He didn’t make that real clear before.”
“I like my man right up front, then if I’m going to have a woman, I feel like I need to share her with him. It’s only fair, plus, there’s something about the whole one man two women scenario that just lights my fire. I think it satisfies my bi side, without having to give up my man. So, me and my man, then me and my man sharing a woman. I don’t think that I really want to participate with anything beyond that. At least, not that I can see right now.”
“So, you’re a lot like me then Lori.” Sasha offered. “You don’t see yourself with multiple men.”
“Not in the least.”, Lori replied.
“Stan, you wanna wrap up your preferences in a neat package for us?”
“You know, I’ve never talked with anyone about this, nor given it much thought until yesterday, actually. But, casting my total discomfort aside, okay. Here goes!” Both of the girls had their eyes locked on me. And, I felt the spot light as I began. “Never minding my past, I’m looking at the here and now, and going forward. My preference is first for just me and my woman. I understand that she was born with a bi tendency that I don’t have. But I love her. If she wants to have a woman, and share her with me, I’m going to engage that for her, and do my best to enjoy it as much as she does.”
“Whoever she brings into the relationship needs to know though, Lori is, and will always be, the number one for me. Any and everybody else comes second or below. And, despite my past participations, from time to time, with multiple women at once. Right now, that two women and me, is my second hierarchal level, and that’s where it stops.
“You guys both have each other as your number one, and anybody else that comes in to the relationship, has to sit in the back seat.”, Sasha summed, then continued. “That’s only as it should be. I’m optimistic!”
“Optimistic?”, I asked.
“Sure! Men are totally eliminated from the possibility of entering into a relationship with you two. So that means fully half of my competition are completely gone!”
“Honey, to begin with, nobody said anything about bringing someone else into our relationship, just now.”, Lori began gently explaining. “And, you do realize that you would never be a number one with either one of us. At best, you would be a number two.
“Yeah.”, answered Sasha. “But with my fucked-up mess; remember that a couple is my first preference, so you both would be number ones to me! I’d still be a winner. You don’t run across really great people like you two every day, that’s why I was willing to take the risk. I’ve been so damn lonesome for so damn long.” I jumped back in at this point.
“My mind is kinda reeling here, but as fucked up as all of this would sound, to probably anyone walking or riding on this street right now, it’s actually making fucking sense to me. I must be going nuts! Where the fuck is our food?”
Lori replied to me, “It really hasn’t been that long, since we ordered.”
“Well, suddenly, I’m fucking starving!”, I quipped back.
“Look who’s throwing that word around now.”, quipped Sasha.
“You two women are probably going to be the end to me!”, I said, and then began laughing. “Okay, you know there’s one thing that I don’t get here, Sasha.”
“Yes?”, she responded.
“You like couples first, then women and then men third. So why were you so intently flirting with me at the library.”
“That’s’ kind of embarrassing”, she said.
“We’re all here to tell it like it is, and just lay it on the line.”, I replied.
“It’s embarrassing, but it’s pretty mundane too.”, she began. “It’s not that big of a deal I guess. You see with heterosexual couples, the female, unless she is bi, never wants another woman in the relationship. If she is bi, she doesn’t usually want the guy to find out, because she’s afraid of him rejecting her. But name one heterosexual male, that doesn’t dream of sex with two women.”
“Hence, I go for the guy, with hopes of landing both. This is actually the first time that I’ve had the female actually coax me into the circle. But, I must have paid you too much attention Stan, because I obviously, like totally pissed off Lori, and wound up getting cold cocked. No pun intended.”