Chinese Ghost Fables 1

by Ji, Yun

  "Well," The county judge contemplated it for a while. In stammer, with a trace of uneasiness, he argued, "I, at least, didn't misjudge any cases. It counts for something." "You may say so," The ghost-master grinned contemptuously and mentioned, "But you are too selfish to confront with really challenges. For maintaining a vague reputation of integrity, you shied away from dealing with tough issues. On a certain case, due to its complexity, you deliberately ignored some key evidence. On another case, dodging responsibilities, you reduced the number of witnesses to fit in your time schedule. On a certain date, for evading mistrial, you prematurely discharged a complaint. In short, you focused on feathering your own nest. Justice became a sideshow. You are paid to assist your citizens, not to pursue a vague fame for yourself. Are those people expecting you to short-change them? Does this a county judge suppose to be?"

  Sweating all over his body, the county judge lowered his head in silence.

  "Don't worry," The ghost-master smiled and consoled him, "You are not evil-minded and will not be detained in hell. Being merely mediocre and timid, you are designated to return to earth. I will send you back there without any delay."

  Mr. Zhan was flabbergasted by this decree and suddenly, awakened within. He narrated this episode to his folks.

  From those two incidents, I learned that the Almighty comprehends what we are doing. He has a different moral yardstick in measuring our performance. Disregarding the outcomes, He weights our value basically on our initial intentions, metering out his judgment accordingly. Wealth and fame are favorable indications of "success", only in human society. They have absolutely no impact in the underworld court. How you acquired them are keys for your final judgment.

  05 LAY A FOUNDATION

  Mr. Wu believed that sensual pleasure was the best enjoyment in life. He often visited brothels for entertainment. One day, he met a female fox spirit and had a relationship with her. Although they lived together, he kept calling on prostitutes.

  "Why are you wasting money on those whores?" The female fox spirit was irritated and complained, suggesting, "I can transfer myself to their appearances whenever you desire and that wouldn't cost you a penny." He was delighted and agreed to stay home, exclusively enjoying the otherworldly creature.

  After a few months, Mr. Wu sighed profoundly and remarked, "I really appreciate you for your effort on satisfying my sexual fantasies. However, the appearances are make-believe. It is not quite compatible with genuine...."

  "What's genuine?" She interrupted. "Whose appearance will last forever? Everything that you see now will only exist for a very small proportion of time. After three or five years, the fresh, young female teenagers, whom you are crazy about, will become mature ladies. The mature ladies will become experienced women, and the experienced women will become old maids. Appearances are ephemeral, controlled by time. It is like a flowing river. We pass from one life stage to another: from baby, youth, to maturity, old, then, to senile and dead. Time gradually leaves traces on us, carving wrinkles on our foreheads, loosening our skin, slowing down our movement, deepening our tone of voice, retracting our hairline, removing our teeth one by one and fading away our memory. In less than sixty years, most of the people whom you known will have gone to graveyards and soon, they will become ivory-like skeletons and bones. Neither white blossom or green grass nor yellow earth or brown mountains will stand forever. We can document those changes by seconds, minutes, hours, days, months, years, or centuries. But there always is an end for everything. Youngness and beauty is mere a pleasant occurrence belongs to the incipient fraction of the lifespan, and is transitory. Maturity and oldness are following. Don't waste time in debauchery. By messing around with whores in the cream of your primetime, you are undermining your own future, forging your own coffin nails for your later years. No matter what stage you are in. You must always lay solid foundation for tomorrow. Otherwise, you are wasting your priceless time and, consequently, will have a miserable future."

  Mr. Wu contemplated this for a long while and comprehended it. After this insightful conversation, he never visited a brothel again.

  Your good deed or misbehavior will have consequences. It will eventually catch up with you. It's up to you to plant a seed of hope or chaos.

  06 TWO OLD TUTORS Mr. Jeh and Mr. Chan, who were two old tutors, were neighbors. One night, they took a walk between the North and South Villages. In the route, there were a few deserted graveyards. Strange noises came from afar. The crescent moon hid itself behind clouds and wind blew sluggishly. The surrounding became murky and disturbing.

  "I can sense something stressful. It's rather spooky," Unnerved and cautious, Mr. Chan suggested, "I have an eerie feeling. Why don't we go home?"

  "What does a ghost look like?" Coming down from the dark, an old man, holding a cane, accosted them and irritably shouted, in a hollow bass tone, "Ridiculous! You are an embarrassment of the educated. Living in such an advanced age, I never saw one single otherworldly creature in my whole life and don't believe that kind of nonsense at all. You two are educated people don't have any shame! You should be sophisticated enough to look down on that superstition. Why have you still been influenced by ludicrous Buddhism? It's a superficial philosophy for the illiterate. Be a humanitarian, you certainly know how to think and how to reach a rational conclusion. Human beings are the only master of the whole universe. Don't you know that? Where is your education and self-confidence? Don't act like a couple of faint-hearted dolts.”

  The aged stranger was lecturing them vigorously, quoting many renowned examples from history to prove there were neither ghosts nor otherworldly creatures. Respecting him for his wise perspective and watertight logic, those two tutors timidly asked a few questions, attempting to expunge any residue of doubt from their mind. He meticulously explained to them. Continuously nodding their heads in agreement, they zealously discussed this topic for hours and even forgot to ask one another's name. It was almost daybreak. From distance, a number of ox carts were plodding by. They could vaguely hear the ox-bells, rhythmically jingling.

  The stranger apologetically revealed, "I am afraid that my time is up. Staying in the cold and damp underground for such a long time, I am bored, need to stretch my limbs and polish my wits. If I didn't argue against the existence of ghost, I wouldn't have an opportunity to make conversation with you. I have to leave now. Please, don't be frightened or get upset with me. Nice chatting with you. Farewell!" In a split of second, the aged stranger merged himself into darkness without a trace. With eyes widely opened, the two convinced tutors were flabbergasted.

  07 DOUBLE-STANDARD

  In traditional Chinese society, many people had double-standard toward male and female. For example, a male person could make many friends from both genders. That behavior would be praised as well-connected and sociable. On the other hand, if a female, especially, an unmarried one, communicated with a number of the opposite sex, she would be looked down upon and considered as ill-mannered or even, as promiscuous. Under the unwritten code of conducts, as a lady, she couldn't leave home unaccompanied. This is a fable mocking such prejudice.

  A group of young men traveled in a field and noticed a well-dressed female who was riding a donkey alone a short distance away from them, which was very unusual in that time period. Considering her as a female of easy virtue, they attempted to play a plank on her. Those young men shouted at her and made some derogatory gestures of invitation. However, being exceptionally calm and unemotional, the lady didn't even turn her head. Ignoring this hostile commotion, she sped the animal up and tried to ride away from them.

  Irritated by this uncommon reaction, those young men vigorous ran after her. The three men reached her first and initiated a conversation. With reluctance, she was halted and courteously responded to them. A few minutes later, all of them arrived. Out of great embarrassment, one of the young people immediately recognized that the well-dressed female was his wife. However, his wife didn't know how to ride a donkey and had never travele
d in this wild part of the neighborhood before.

  How could she travel to this strange land alone? He wondered, feeling annoyed and humiliated. He severely reprimanded her for her misbehavior. It got weird. Instead of talking back, the female was totally silent, which aggravated him even more. He was infuriated, raised his right palm, and attempted to slap her. She cringed, jumped down the donkey, and suddenly, she transformed herself into a fox spirit.

  Holding a whip and pointing at that irate man, she sneered, with contempt and distaste, "What a bunch of hypocrites! You vigorously chase after and randomly pick up an unknown young female. But you couldn't tolerate your own wife having a casual conversation with any males. Is that what you had learned from books? You don't even know fairness and equality. What kind of phonies are you?" After this invective, she vanished. Amazed and ashamed, they were in a voiceless slumber.

  08 RESCUE A DEVIL

  On the way returning to his barracks, a courageous major detected a man. Holding a dagger on one hand, he used the other hand to press an attractive woman against a huge flat rock, intending to stab her heart. With great despair and tears all over her face, this eloquent lady cried and begged for mercy. Without any hesitation, the dauntless officer indignantly dashed forward and jumped on the man. They vigorously tussled to the ground and fought each other. At this melee, the graceful victim, unexpectedly turned herself into a sudden gust of stinky black wind, swirled away, disappeared in a split of second.

  "Oh! Holy smokes! You ruin my plan," The man, pushing him aside and hopelessly glaring at the sky, bellowed, with profound dejection, "Young man. You made a big mistake. She is not a human being, at all. As a female devil, she can transform herself into any kinds of human appearance. For maintaining her evil strength, she has sucked up hundreds of innocent persons' energy and exterminated them all. I had laboriously stalked her for years, waiting for this opportunity to corner and destroy her once for all. Your foolhardy interference saved a devil." Constantly shaking his head and sighing in disbelief, he sheathed his dagger and sadly departed.

  Without the comprehension of the big picture, a hasty action, which is out of kindness and braveness, will have a negative impact on a heroic deed, inadvertently preserve the wicked and cause numerous tragedies in the future. To wrongfully spare one demon is to sacrifice many innocent lives down the road. A person who always lives in the circumstances of making tough decisions and by thoroughly studying and meticulously weighing on the short-term inconveniences against long-term gains, one can make an informed decision and react accordingly.

  09 AN INTRIGUING OFFICIAL

  In traditional Chinese society, government officials were highly respected. People believed that they belonged to the stars in the sky. They were believed to have descended down to earth to govern the crowd. As the outcome of their divine status, all the evil spirits and otherworldly creatures dared not to approach them. On the other hand, one would wonder about how would an otherworldly creature treat an intriguing official?

  On an official capacity, Mr. Chan, a government administrator, was sent to Taiwan. After days of travel by boat, he arrived and checked in a state-operated hotel. One night, he noticed a lovely young lady glancing at him from the top of a tall wall. Comprehending that she was a female-devil, he was offended. How could a spirit dare to appear and even glare at him, a government official? With annoyance and indignation, he looked at and scolded her severely. She vanished. At midnight, a piece of shingle mysteriously flew in and landed at his pillow, it missed his head by a few inches.

  Frightened, he was awakened, with sweat all over his body, furiously complaining, "How dare of you rude and low-born devil! Don't you have any common courtesies toward a government official, a messenger from the Almighty? I am blessed and everyone, from heaven to hell, must respect me."

  "Big deal," A loud and scornful voice interrupted from outside of the windows, "You are a blessed person, indeed. I was admonished tonight for my prior misdeed and felt remorseful still. However, I have accidentally observed and noticed that you, in your dream, intrigue to frame the hotel manager and force his beautiful wife to become one of your concubines. Your evil-thought degrades your status and creates a hiatus of opportunity for me to get even with you. The Almighty wouldn't blame me for greeting you, an intriguing official, with a piece of shingle of warning." Mr. Chan was greatly embarrassed and hastily departed from the hotel before dawn.

  This goes to say that having a name must be matched up with deed. A person is measured by his behavior, not by his rank. A virtuous person will be respected and an intriguing official be disrespected by all otherworldly creatures.

  10 FROM BIZARRE TO GROTESQUE

  In summertime, Mr. Chau visited his friend. They cordially chatted in the study room. At night, Mr. Chau intended to sleep there.

  "No, I'm afraid you can't," His friend courteously declined and apologetically revealed, "This room is possessed." Disbelieving in spirits, ghosts, and all otherworldly creatures, the visitor was fascinated. He insisted upon it and was allowed to stay for the night. At midnight, when he was reading a book, a creature from another world, which was as thin as a piece of paper, meticulously slipped through the tiny gap of the doors. It dropped to the ground and gradually expanded itself, converting itself into a human form and eventually, becoming a beautiful young lady. With a posture of total tranquility, Mr. Chau observed this eerie transformation and remained unemotional. In a few minutes, maliciously staring at him, this lady grew irritated. She suddenly turned herself into a ferocious spirit, with long roguish hair and an elongated tongue. Some blood was dripping from one corner of her mouth. She transferred herself into a hanged ghost.

  "Well! Over all, it is not bad. However, your hair is a little bit too disorganized and your tongue rather in disproportion with the rest of your body," With great curiosity and seriousness, Mr. Chau beamed a profound smile and remarked. "Over all, it's presentable if you can correct those few minor flaws."

  Insulted and aggravated, the ghost suddenly snatched and detached her head from the neck. With impatience, she menacingly placed it on the desk. Obviously amused and unusually calm, Mr. Chau couldn't withhold his emotion any longer.

  With embarrassment, he giggled and criticized, "Well, just look at yourself, a headless creature! Without it, your appearance is deteriorated from bizarre to grotesque. It became pathetic to view your torso. How can you expect to frighten any human beings?"

  Out of tricks, the ghost was outmaneuvered and in total defeat. With frustration, she moaned and vanished into darkness. Mr. Chau yawned and went to sleep. A few hours later, the otherworldly creature returned.

  Before she could thoroughly squeeze herself through the doors, disturbed by this commotion, Mr. Chau awakened, angrily spitted at this unwelcome visitor and reprimanded, "Give me a break. You are a drag!"

  Humiliated, the ghost nervously fled. She quietly relocated herself elsewhere and never appeared in this room again. The unafraid is the bravest. When a person fears something, his energy becomes debilitated and he vulnerable. Any evil spirit that detects this deterioration could explore his weak spot; violate and molest him.

  11 ILL-INTENTION

  A monk, who knew about dark magic, called on a wealthy merchant. In a demonstration, he made a pig out of ordinary mud and cast a spell upon it. The mud pig could gradually move its limbs and, after a while, became alive. The host was deeply impressed and instructed the kitchen to barbecue it. All of his guests were invited to taste this unusual animal, whose meat was not as tender as ordinary one. After the meal, everyone felt obnoxious and threw up mud. The monk apologized for this prank.

  One well-dressed guest privately inquired, "According to an old book, there is a spell. If we cast it on a piece of shingle, we can use this shingle to draw a door on any wall and it becomes a real door. In that way, one can easily sneak into a lady's bedroom without detection. Can you do that?"

  "Certainly," Beaming a trace of contempt mixed with disbelief, the
monk smirked and acknowledged, "It is very easy."

  He walked to the backyard garden, picked up a small shingle. He stared at it, murmured some incantation for a moment and ceremoniously handed it over to the ill-minded guest. "This is the magic shingle. You can have it," He politely explained. "Here is a word of warning. You must keep in total silence on your way entering and staying in the wall. Otherwise, the magic will not work."

  With amazement and excitement, the guest expressed his deep appreciation. After making a lame excuse, he quietly left the party. With exhilaration brims on the edge of delirium, he searched and located the wall which belonged to an attractive girl's bedroom. He had an eye on her for months. It's time to test this magic shingle. As the monk promised, this person successfully walked into the bedroom. Under pitch-darkness, he thankfully slept with her and dared not to utter a noise. At daybreak, he, with caution, woke up and discovered that girl was actually his own wife.

  How come? He was mystified, felt confused, but, couldn't reveal it to her. At this awkward moment, the monk called on and lectured him, "The world is in harmony. Good deed will be rewarded and misbehavior punished. Your action will always have consequences. Please accept my sincere apology for last night's practical joke. Your ill-intention was justly documented by the Almighty. Although in this comical occurrence, the outcome was innocuous. Your future will still be impaired. Be very careful. Don't ever try to deprive other's reputations in order to satisfy your own carnal desire."

  This person tried many years and couldn't pass the government exams. He ended up as a tutor, and belonged to the lowest caste of the educated, with meager salaries and a miserable future, periodically seeking employments from village to village for the rest of his life.

  12 INVECTIVE WON'T HELP

  Working as a tutor in his advanced age, Mr. Han was very knowledgeable but rather short-tempered. All villagers respected him. One day, he had a cold and rested in bed. He soon fell into deep sleep. In his dream, he saw a ghost standing in front of him. With a straight face, this otherworldly creature solemnly announced that he was dispatched here by the ghost-master of the underworld to fetch Mr. Han's soul. Reckoning his age, Mr. Han made no complaint and quietly followed the ghost. They flew hours to an unfamiliar region and entered a grandiose building. A clerk ghost was verifying the identity of all the newly arrived souls. With chagrin, he noticed the messenger-ghost made a huge blunder and picked up the wrong soul. Mr. Han's life was still viable for a few more years. Obviously embarrassed, the clerk ghost sincerely apologized, instructed two guard-ghosts to give the absent-minded messenger-ghost twenty spanks, and dispatched another messenger-ghost to escort the old tutor back to earth.