The Nightshift Before Christmas

by Annie O'Neil

  “I’m not staying there this week.”

  Interesting.

  “I always stay at the hospital over Christmas,” she volunteered hastily, with a quick pursing of her lips. “My parents have come in to ski for the week—”

  Josh snorted and was relieved to see Katie join in with an involuntary snigger.

  “Well...at least they’ll look fabulous in their ski gear before they hit the cocktail circuit.”

  Her eyes flicked away with a shake of her head. She must have remembered she’d told herself not to enjoy being with him.

  “It’s easier not to get stuck in a storm if I’m here.”

  Wow! Two whole sentences! They were on a roll. He kept his ground. Nodded. Tried not to look too interested. He’d learned long ago that it took a lot to get Katie talking, but once you opened the floodgates...

  “So...where are you really staying?”

  Bang goes that theory.

  “Honestly, Kit-Kat. My plan was to just stay here.”

  Her brown eyes were briefly cloaked by a studied blink. Then another. Her lips twitched forward for a microsecond in a moue. Was that a response to his being there? Had an image of the two of them wrapped together as they’d always been in bed flashed across her mind’s eye as it had his?

  He cleared his throat and shifted his stance. “Casual” was getting tough to pull off. What he wouldn’t give to take the two steps separating them and start to kiss those ruby lips of hers as if each of their lives depended on it. It felt as though his did, and standing still was beginning to test his fortitude.

  “I see.” She abruptly turned to face the main desk, where Jorja was checking in a new patient. “We’d best get you to work, then.”

  Fair enough. She wasn’t saying no.

  And... A smile began to tug at the corners of his mouth. Depending on how you looked at it, Katie was saying yes. Yes to his staying. Yes to his being in the hospital. Yes to their being together.

  Okay, it was a bit of a leap, but he was willing to take the risk. In for a penny and all that...

  He pushed away from the wall and took a step behind her when she turned back to face the board, unsurprised to see her shoulders stiffen...then relax when he kept just enough space between them for her to know he wouldn’t do what he’d always done before their lives had been ripped in two.

  He closed his eyes and pictured the scene. She’d be studying something—anything—an X-ray, a chart, the wall—it didn’t matter. He’d step right up behind her, arms slipping round her waist, hands clasped against her belly, his chin coming to a rest on her pillow of chestnut hair or slipping down alongside her cheek for a little illicit nuzzle or to drop a kiss on her neck...

  He heard her sigh at the exact same time he was blowing out a long, slow breath between his lips. Oh, yeah. They were on the same page all right. It just hadn’t been turned for a while.

  “Hey, you two—you’re in for the Secret Santa, right?”

  Josh and Katie both whirled round to see a grinning Jorja holding out a Santa hat with folded pieces of paper being rapidly jiggled around.

  “Count me in.” Josh reached into the hat and grabbed a bit of paper. If he was going to show Katie he knew how to settle down, enjoy small-town life... “Who doesn’t love a bit of Secret Santa action?” He turned to Katie. “That is if it’s all right with the boss lady?”

  “Who am I to curtail your holiday cheer and our small-town ways?”

  And they were back in the ring! Three years ago the idea of going back to his small-town roots would have made him run for the hills...or the bright lights of Manhattan, more like it. But after he’d quit Boston for Manhattan, Chicago, Miami, none of them had stuck. Not one had sung to him. Nothing worked without Katie.

  “I’m just a small-town boy, and nothing says home like...” His eyes sought hers and in that instant he was sure each of them knew what he might say.

  “Like what, Dr. West?” Jorja pressed.

  Katie. It had always and only been Katie.

  “Like having an opportunity to put down roots! In the form of a Secret Santa. I just love a good old-fashioned round of Secret Santa.”

  Too emphatic?

  He felt Katie giving him a curious glance. Good. He wanted her to see the changes. Maybe not all of them. The pins in his leg could wait. And the scars along his hip and spine. It wasn’t looking like she’d be ripping off his clothes for a moment of unchecked ardor anytime soon, so he was good with that. But he’d been careful that she didn’t see him walk too much. She’d know. She’d definitely know. And she’d never come back to him then.

  “Dr. McGann? Are you taking part in the draw?”

  Jorja waggled the hat in front of his wife’s face. She might be a good nurse, but that girl sure didn’t read body language all that well.

  He watched Katie put on her bright face and return her focus to Jorja. “Of course. In for a penny...”

  Josh felt Katie’s eyes land on him as the words came out of her mouth, her hand plunging into the hat blindly to grab a bit of crumpled paper.

  She remembered. They’d both said it. A lot. Especially in the early days of their marriage, when they’d needed every penny to repay their medical-school bills, making their own way after just about the best elopement a couple could ever have had when Katie had decided her parents didn’t deserve to put on a society wedding. A church full of her parents’ business associates and bridge pals mixing with his ruckus of a family, who would show up to a black-tie event wearing their funeral clothes? No, thanks.

  His lips twitched as her eyes stayed locked on his. They’d spent just a few hundred dollars on rings, the honeymoon, and a huge chocolate cream pie that they’d set between them at a roadside diner and eaten in one go... Then, not too long after, they had been putting down deposits on cribs and—

  Josh raked a hand through his hair and looked away first. It was still hard to go there. Still impossible to believe they’d really lost their little girl. That sweet little baby who’d never even had one chance to look into her parents’ eyes...

  “Right! You said you wanted me to get to work.” He craned his neck to look around at the waiting room and stuffed the bit of paper into his lab coat pocket. “Who’s next?”

  * * *

  Katie had to shake her head for a minute before she could think clearly. Having Josh here was like receiving a physical assault of emotions she hadn’t wanted to feel again.

  Pain...

  She unnecessarily scrubbed her hands through her super-short hair, having forgotten, just as her eyes connected with Josh’s, that she didn’t have a ponytail to curl her fingers through anymore. Yup. The pain she could certainly do without.

  Fear.

  That Josh would be safe. That he’d come home from his latest escapade unscathed. That he would come home at all. Bearing another loss in the wake of their stillborn baby girl...wondering if he’d well and truly be there for her if they decided to try and conceive again... No. She just hadn’t been able to do it.

  Desire.

  The desire felt good. Too good. And it was too much of a link to the pain and the fear. A trilogy of Josh, all wrapped up in a gorgeous sandy-haired, blue-eyed package she had never been able to resist. But she had to. For her sanity, first and foremost. For her heart.

  “What do you think? You happy to let me go with the photocopy girl?”

  “Beg your pardon?” Katie forced herself to focus on the words coming out of Josh’s mouth about a patient newly arrived from an office party gone wrong. Photocopies. Bottoms. Broken glass.

  His front tooth was still crooked. She’d always liked that. The imperfection made him more...perfect. Hmm... Maybe she shouldn’t focus on his mouth. His eyes—definitely blue-gray in this light. Flinty? Steel-blue. Was there such a thing? And with lit
tle crinkles round the edges. Those were new. Sun, maybe? Or just the passage of the two years they’d put between them?

  It might have felt like an eternity, but two years wasn’t really that long. Then again, they’d been through a lot. But Josh had always seemed impervious to it all. Definitely a glass half-full— That was it! Glasses. He probably just needed glasses. Typical Josh to put practical needs like getting his eyes checked on hold. She tilted her head to the side. They were kind of sexy. The crinkles...

  Nope. Nope. Still not hearing words. Still not focusing. What about the little bridge between his eyes? That was just like anyone else’s. Just part of someone’s face. A plain old face just like any other doctor in any other hospital. With a nose and high cheekbones and two perfectly formed... Argh, no! And she was back to his lips.

  “Apologies, Dr. West.” She put on her best interested face. “I didn’t quite catch that.”

  A low laugh rumbled from his chest. Josh knew damn well she’d been ogling him and he was loving it. From the first day he’d draped a stethoscope round her neck, he’d known he had the power to cut straight through her prim-and-proper exterior and bring out the hidden tigress in her. The one she hadn’t known existed. Bookish only children who preferred the company of their elderly nannies weren’t obvious contenders for being horny minxes aching to see how it felt to be scooped up in a single swoop, her legs wrapped round his waist, his hands cupped on her—

  “...derriere.”

  “Beg pardon! What was that again?”

  This time Josh didn’t even bother going for subtle.

  “Katie, do you just wanna sneak off and make out for old times’ sake while the anesthetic gets to work?”

  “What? No!” She shook her head, sending a horrified look over her shoulder to see if anyone had overheard him. “No!” she added, with a look. She didn’t make out with people. Let alone with the one man on the planet she needed statewide clearance from if her brain was ever going to work properly again.

  She forced herself to play a quick game of catch-up.

  “You say she broke her office’s copy machine by sitting on it? Why on earth was she doing that?”

  “You never butt-copied—?” Josh stopped himself, his smile shifting from astounded to tender. “It’s something that happens when an office party gets out of hand. This gal clearly likes to get her cray-cray on.”

  “I have no idea what crayfish have to do with it.”

  “Crazy!” Josh laughed. “Cray-cray is crazy, if you’re down with the kids—know what I mean?” He struck a pose for added emphasis.

  Katie sniffed. She could do zany. If she put her mind to it. But photocopying her butt? That was just ridiculous. The germs on one of those things should be off-putting enough!

  “Well, you two sound perfect for each other.”

  Katie saw the sting of hurt her words caused and wished she could yank them straight back. Josh might do wild but he also did wonderful. If only he hadn’t kept pushing the boundaries after their loss. If only he’d convinced her he could play things safe—even for a while—they might...

  “I best get on, then.”

  Katie watched as Josh turned and made his way toward the curtained cubicle where his patient was waiting. There was something...different about his gait. Something different about him. He’d changed. Really changed. Her teeth caught hold of her lip and gave it a contemplative scrape.

  Changed enough to hear what she had to say?

  A series of loud guffaws burst from the curtained area where Josh was de-sharding his patient’s booty.

  No. Same ol’ Josh! Some stray Christmas spirit must have sneaked into her coffee that morning. No one changed that much. She would just see through the time they had to work together as professionally as she could. No point in reopening old wounds. She’d borne enough hurt for a lifetime.

  She scanned the board and picked a good old-fashioned broken arm. Some enthusiastic decorative touches to a snowy rooftop, no doubt. Fixing. Setting. Repairing. That was what she did. It was how she survived.

  Once again she shook on her bright smile and pulled open the curtain.

  “Right! Mr. Dawsen, I understand you’ve broken your arm?”

  CHAPTER THREE

  “I’LL JUST BE in the residents’ room—cool?” Josh popped a finished chart onto the RNs’ central desk, flashing a smile to the two nurses trying to untangle a set of twinkling lights. A patient’s or some late decorating? They paid him no attention, so he hightailed it down the corridor, hoping for a few moments to regroup. It was time to pull up his socks and tell Katie the truth. The real reason he was there.

  She’d yanked six of his safety-net days out from under him, unwittingly putting all his partridges in the one pear tree. It was do-or-die day now. For a man who didn’t plan much, he had definitely planned this out. A whole week to gauge her mood...time to maybe inject a bit of romance into snatched moments alone. But with this stupid twenty-four-hour thing she showed no sign of shifting from, he had to get a move on. They were just a few hours away from midnight, and once that clock pinged upon the Christmas star, his time would be well and truly running out. Josherella was going to have to get a move on.

  He looked at his backpack, slung on the back of the lone chair parked across from the bunk he’d thrown himself on for a catnap. He wouldn’t have been surprised if the sheaf of official papers lurking in the side pocket had taken on a life of their own, unzipped the bag and come out and danced at him like an evil sugarplum fairy...or whoever the evil one was in The Nutcracker.

  He cursed silently. He’d once loved Christmas and all the schmaltzy, cheesy, sentimental stuff that went along with it. When they’d lost their daughter just a few days before the holiday, it had sucked the season dry of any good feeling. He wanted that back—and the only way to get it was to woo his wife back into his arms. And if this was the season for miracles he was a first-rate candidate.

  Otherwise...? Otherwise he would have taken the job in Paris when he’d got the offer. Moved to France to study with the most elite team of minimally invasive fetoscopic surgeons? Hell, yeah! It would have been a gargantuan leap forward for his career. He’d spent the past two years doing locum residencies in every single obstetrics unit he could. He would never know why his little girl had been stillborn—but if he could help other women he’d be there.

  But his heart wouldn’t be. And to end up in the City of Love without the woman he adored by his side would have been pointless. Not to mention the fact that Dr. Cheval insisted on total focus. No distractions and no demons. Right now Josh was hauling those things around big-time.

  When the job offer had come, he’d seen it as life’s way of grabbing him by the scruff of the neck, giving him a right old shake and demanding, for once, that he take responsibility for everything he had done. Own up to how his behavior had driven his wife away. And after she’d gone he’d pushed at life a bit more. A lot more. Life had pushed back, and now he had the metal infrastructure to prove he hadn’t come out the winner.

  He gave his head a good old scratch, shooting a look up to the heavens to see if there were any clues there.

  Mistletoe.

  Of course. Love. The high-voltage current he’d felt the first, second and every other time he’d laid eyes on his wife was electric. But going to the city where hand-holding and kisses on bridges and feeding each other delectable morsels of...

  Hey! Now, there was an idea. He and Katie had always enjoyed a good picnic. Out on the common—or on a bench if it was pouring down—regardless of the sideways glances they’d received from passersby. It was what supersized umbrellas were made for, right?

  A smile lit up his face. He’d do a Christmas dinner picnic! The smile faded just as fast. The canteen was closed. The way the snow was coming down meant leaving the hospital would be a challenge. Or ju
st plain stupid. He’d already done stupid...

  “Hey, Dr. West.” Jorja poked her head round the corner with an apologetic expression. “Sorry to ruin your break, but we’ve got mass casualties coming in!”

  Adrenaline shot through him and he was up and out of the bunk before Jorja had even removed herself from the door frame.

  “What happened? How many? Do we have enough on staff? Is there any chance of diverting any of the patients to another hospital?”

  Jorja’s eyes widened, along with her mouth. Streaks of red began to color her cheeks.

  “Uh...” She pushed at the floor with the stub of her toe.

  “Sorry, too much television! I forget Copper Canyon is totally different from what you get out east.”

  “There are two. Patients, that is. With gastro. Dr. McGann is already down there.”

  Josh’s heartbeat decelerated and he tried not to laugh. Much. The poor girl looked mortified. He slung an arm around her shoulders and tugged her in for a half hug as they made their way out into the main corridor. “Hey, Jorja, don’t you worry. I can adjust my big-city ways...”

  The words stopped coming. What the heck was he doing, bragging about his big-city machismo when he’d grown up in a town with two unlit junctions? Junctions where he’d been guaranteed to see his math teacher or his father heading off to the cattle markets. There was no hiding anywhere in that place if you stuck around—which was why he’d loved losing himself in the big city. And then he’d met Katie...like an angel he hadn’t known he’d needed to meet. Found him. That was what she’d done. She had found him. Shown him how important it was to be grounded.

  He looked straight up, silently cursing the invisible heavens. She was his lighthouse, his beacon, his...whatever analogy best fit the scene. She was his heart. His soul. And if he didn’t get a move on he was going to lose her for good.

  “Uh... Dr. West? Are you trying to...?” Jorja was shifting underneath his arm, turning toward him, shifting her gaze upward as well.