Pull

by Rachel Van Dyken

having a guy in my bed probably wasn’t his idea of socializing —

  though it very well might be my new favorite thing.

  I blushed as my dad’s eyes scanned the bed; the duvet was

  pushed away and fell onto the floor in a pool, and both pillows

  looked used. I blinked at him and waited for him to begin asking

  questions. Instead, he rubbed his head, saying something under his

  breath and then walked out of the room.

  I exhaled in relief and texted Demetri.

  COAST IS CLR.

  He texted me back.

  COME OUTSDE.

  I threw on a long sleeve Henley over my tank top and ran

  down the stairs to find Demetri standing at my door.

  “What are you doing?” My eyes scanned his bed hair and

  cocky grin as he stuffed his hands in his pockets and lifted his

  shoulders.

  “I forgot something.”

  I examined him further. He was wearing all his clothes.

  “Not clothes,” he answered, reading my mind.

  I squinted against the sun and lifted my hand to my

  forehead so I could see him clearly.”Okay, it’s too early to argue.

  What did you lose and how can I help you find it?”

  He took a step closer to me and then another and another

  until we were nearly chest to chest. My knees felt weak as he

  wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed me full on the

  mouth. I fell into him, easily trapped by his magnetism.

  “Your morning kiss,” he said pulling away. “Good morning,

  Alyssa.”

  Okay, so I know swooning doesn’t really happen, but I

  could have sworn in that moment that my legs gave way, that my

  body swayed into his, and that I seriously saw fireworks go off in

  the sky as he bent and kissed my hand tenderly then jogged away.

  “Who was that?” My dad said from behind me, scaring the

  crap out of my frozen moment in time.

  “I, uh—” What was he? My boyfriend? No, that would be

  crazy, wouldn’t it? “He’s my good friend.”

  “How old is he?” Dad crossed his arms and gazed out

  toward the street. Clearly he hadn’t seen Demetri’s face, otherwise

  he would have known exactly who he was talking about.

  “Thirty,” I answered deadpan.

  “What!” The tiny vein in my dad’s forehead looked like it

  was going to pop. Ah, it had been too long since I’d seen him show

  any sort of emotion except pity around me.

  I slapped him on the back. “Don’t worry, Dad. I know what

  I’m doing. We’ve got a plan. First he’s going to move in here with

  us, you know to be smart and save money. And then we hope to

  get married and start a family, possibly build a second wing on the

  house. He just got out of jail, so it should be hard for him to find

  work, but hey, we have the taffy shop!”

  “Thirty?” Dad repeated, obviously still stuck on the whole

  age thing.

  I nodded.

  “Wait. What?” Dad shook his head and then finally looked

  down at my face. I was grinning like an idiot.

  Dad’s eyes narrowed. “Very funny.”

  I sighed. “I sure thought so.”

  “Great to see you’ve got your sense of humor back,” he

  grumbled then placed his hand over his chest. “I thought I was

  going to have a heart attack.”

  “I keep you young.” I pointed my finger in his face and

  laughed again.

  And that’s when my dad burst into tears.

  “Dad!” I reached for him, but he stepped away from me and

  wiped his eyes. “I’ve been so damn worried about you, Alyssa.”

  I sighed and reached for my dad’s hand. He took my hand

  then and pulled me into a hug. “I love you. I’ve just worried

  that…”

  “Dad, I’m not going to kill myself.” My face was pressed

  against his chest so hard that my voice was muffled.

  He exhaled a long, slow breath. I stepped back. “I know.”

  He held my hands in his. “But you aren’t the same person you were

  a few years back. You used to smile.”

  “I smile,” I said defensively.

  “You rarely smile,” Dad pointed out. “You work longer

  hours than mom and I, and you don’t have any friends.”

  Why did people keep reminding me I didn’t have friends? I

  nodded solemnly and shrugged. “I have Demetri now.”

  “Do you think it’s smart to have only one friend who’s a

  boy? What about girls? Don’t girls need that sort of thing?”

  “I have Mom.”

  Dad rolled his eyes. “Family doesn’t count.”

  “I met Nat Murray yesterday. She’s pretty cool. And I met

  Holly at group therapy. Maybe we can all hang out sometime.” I

  gave him a firm nod and then punched him in the shoulder. “Cheer

  up, Dad. I’m going to be fine.”

  I walked slowly up the stairs to my dad saying “I can’t lose

  you again” under his breath.

  The thing was, I didn’t want to get lost again either. I

  wanted to remember today, remember how it felt to be in Demetri’s

  arms. To tell him all my secrets and have him give it to me straight.

  I should have been mad at him, but he was so brutally honest with

  me. More honest than anyone, Mrs. Murray included, had been

  about my situation. He called me selfish. ME! The girl who watched

  her boyfriend die as she tried to save his life.

  I never thought of my grief as being selfish. In my own little

  world it was like this little trophy I kept in honor of Brady, in honor

  of his accomplishments and everything he was to me. It never once

  occurred to me that by holding on to him, I was selfishly holding

  onto my past and refusing to move on.

  When I walked into my room, it hit me — a wave of reality.

  My eyes scanned the area. The Justin Bieber poster was still on my

  door, Brady’s sweatshirt was on the floor. My pom-poms sat

  untouched in the corner, pictures of Brady and me littered one side

  of the room, and yearbooks sat at the foot of my bed.

  My room was like a tomb, a memorial.

  No wonder I hadn’t been able to let go.

  I looked at my cell. I only had about an hour before work. It

  wasn’t much, but it was enough time to at least start what I should

  have done years ago.

  Heal.

  Chapter Twenty-two

  Demetri

  I sang as I walked back to my house. I’m not even ashamed

  to admit it. Sure, I got a few weird looks, but I didn’t care. Hell,

  they were getting a free concert as far as I was concerned. I mean, I

  know I hadn’t sung in front of people in a while, the taffy corner

  didn’t count, but I was still a rock star, right?

  I did a little dance move as I jogged up to my door and

  belted out the last part of the song before spinning around in a

  circle.

  The door opened wide, revealing a very stoic looking Bob.

  “You high?”

  “On life.” I nodded and lifted my hand for a high five.

  Bob shook his head and shoved past me. “I’m going to run

  to the store. Think you can stay out of trouble for a few hours?”

  I nodded. “My virtue will stay intact, this I swear. If any

  women scream and throw th
eir bras at me, I promise to keep my

  pants on. If they touch me, I’ll scream rape.”

  “Can’t rape the willing…” Bob smirked. “But I wasn’t

  talking about the women. Clearly you’ve been seeing Miss Alyssa

  again, if that giant smile is any indicator. I was talking about, you

  know… the stuff that came today.”

  “Stuff? As in, presents? Clothes? Food? What stuff?”

  The vein in Bob’s head twitched. “You don’t know? Haven’t

  you checked any of your messages on your cell?”

  “No.” To be honest I forgot all about my cell. I reached into

  my back pocket and pulled it out. “Shit. How do I have thirty

  missed calls?”

  “Yes, well, if you don’t mind stepping out of the clouds for a

  minute, I’ll explain.” Bob was the best security you could ask for,

  almost like a real human, if you ignored the fact that he looked like

  a really pissed off Navy Seal.

  “Shoot.” I crossed my arms.

  “Short version.” Bob cleared his throat. “You’re

  everywhere.”

  “Dude, I’m famous, kind of goes with the territory.”

  “No, you misunderstand me, you’re everywhere.”

  “Care to explain?” My phone buzzed in my hand again. It

  was Alec. “Hold on. What’s up, bro?”

  “Finally!” he yelled, and then whispered. “I got ahold of

  him.”

  “Can someone please tell me what’s going on?”

  “Turn on the TV,” Alec grumbled. I looked to Bob. He

  followed me back in the house. The same house I had left not

  twenty-four hours earlier looked transformed. Bottles of

  champagne-filled baskets were everywhere. I ground my teeth and

  flipped on the entertainment channel.

  “The big news today, Demetri Daniels! Singer turned reality

  star!”

  “Am I getting punked?” I said into the phone.

  Alec laughed. “I wish, man, I wish. Nope, it seems there

  were some ulterior motives with having us stay in Seaside for our

  break.”

  “No shit.” I closed my eyes and counted to five as the

  woman on TV continued talking.

  “It’s finally confirmed that the new reality show Seaside is in

  the works for Demetri! Who knew the kid could be so entertaining!

  Cameras have been following him around for the past month.

  Apparently, the studio had been planning on doing a reality show

  for some time, but since AD2 took a hiatus for some much needed

  emotional rest, it looked as if it would fall through. But recent

  sources say the show is back on!”

  “I didn’t agree to this.” I sat on the couch and cursed again.

  “Alec, you know I didn’t agree to this.”

  “Neither did I. Doesn’t mean it isn’t gonna happen, bro. I’ve

  been on the phone with our publicist all day. Apparently it’s been

  in the works for a while. Somehow it was leaked to the media, and

  now, well, now that the clips of you walking around Seaside with

  Alyssa have gone viral, the record company is salivating.”

  “Thus the champagne.” I groaned.

  “You’re drinking?” Alec yelled into the phone.

  “No. But there’s enough alcohol in this house to kill an

  elephant, that’s for sure. I’ll have Bob get rid of it.”

  “Demetri…” Alec sounded worried.

  “Bro, I can handle pressure okay? I’ve got taffy, and it’s

  possible I slept with Alyssa last night.”

  “In a bed?”

  “No dude, in the ocean. Yes, in a bed, not that anything

  happened. We—” I shrugged as a shit-eating grin spread across my

  face. “It was nice.”

  “Are you sure you’re not drinking?”

  “No, you ass, I’m not drinking.”

  Alec laughed into the phone. “Sorry, but you have to

  understand that the day you choose cuddling over sex is the day

  I’m wearing a dress.”

  “Better go shopping then…”

  Alec laughed again and sighed. “Dude, I really am sorry

  about all this. Just keep doing what you’re doing. We’ll figure it

  out, okay? Until then, don’t go outside.”

  “Trapped, just like before.” I cursed. “I won’t do it.”

  “Come again?”

  “Alec, dude, I can’t do it. I can’t just sit in my house all day. I

  really will go insane. I’ll start making bad choices. I mean, I

  honestly can’t get bored… I don’t want to think about what will

  happen if I do.”

  Alec cursed into the phone and then was silent for a bit.

  “Fine, just don’t do anything stupid in public, and when the media

  asks you about the show, don’t say a thing. Just… be normal.”

  “Said the fish out of water,” I grumbled. “Fine, I’m guessing

  the local news won’t be showing up for another hour or so. Takes

  them a while to get their local celebrity gossip. After all there is

  only one Starbucks.”

  “Dude, if it bothers you that much, just build one.”

  “Now there’s a thought… We’ve already established how

  sexy I look in a visor. Imagine me in the green apron.”

  “You need taffy or something, you’re losing your mind.”

  “Agh.” I cursed and flipped off the TV. “Story of my life.”

  “Later, bro. I’ll text or call if I find out anything on my end.

  Just stay invisible, don’t drink and drive, don’t do drugs, make

  good choices, guard your virtue—”

  “Screw off.” I hung up the phone laughing.

  Bob moved to stand in front of me. “Know any restaurants

  interested in some free Cristal?”

  Bob laughed. “I’ll go make some donations, shall I?”

  “That’s the spirit.” I got up and slapped him on the back. I

  didn’t want to watch any more TV. I mean, most of what people

  said was crap anyways. I just wasn’t sure how I was supposed to

  talk to Alyssa and the rest of the group about all of this. I mean, the

  stuff everyone was dealing with was super private. I would rather

  die than have them think they couldn’t trust me, or that I was just

  waiting to put them on TV. Then again, people got weird when

  opportunities for fame came up. I just hoped they wouldn’t flip

  tonight during the meeting like Mrs. Murray had when she came

  barreling through my door that morning. Threatened. She’d

  actually threatened me. It had been a long time since an adult had

  done so much as point their finger in my face. I told her I would

  step down as group leader, which just made her more furious.

  Apparently, it wasn’t the whole reality show thing that had her

  ticked. It was her worry that all that extra attention would hurt the

  rest of the group. After all, group therapy was counseling, which

  legally wasn’t anyone’s business but that person’s. She said she’d

  notify the members that they no longer had to attend and shook her

  head.

  I felt like I had let everyone down. Again. This time I knew it

  was my fault. If I hadn’t nearly killed myself last year, our

  publicists wouldn’t be trying to find some lame ways to salvage my

  reputation. I just wish they would have told me what they had up

  their sleeves before announci
ng it to the media.

  Later that night I found out just how thrilled everyone was

  about the whole rumor of me doing a reality show.

  Holly and Aaron glared when I opened the door. I cursed

  and ran my hands through my hair. “Not that I have to defend

  myself, but it’s not true.”

  “What’s not true?” Sam pushed past them and hit me on the

  shoulder.

  “This asshole is doing a reality show here in Seaside.

  Cameras have been following him for the past month. So was that

  whole speech just for TV then, Demetri?” Aaron was chest to chest

  with me. I took a step back and put my hands in the air.

  “Okay, first off, you need to chill. Second, do you see any

  cameras in my house? I mean, seriously? Third, do you think I

  want all my own shit on live TV for people to see? Do you realize

  how messed up my life has been? It’s not like I want to broadcast

  the fact that my brother got my girlfriend pregnant, or that I had a

  drug problem.”

  “Your brother? A son?” Holly tilted her head.

  Crap. I forgot I had only told Alyssa, and that it wasn’t in

  group. “It’s not important.” I glared at both of them and waited.

  They slowly nodded their heads and walked into the living

  room. I exhaled and stole a glance at Sam. “You mad too?”

  He shook his head. “Girls love celebrities, why would I be

  mad?”

  I groaned. “Panty throwing isn’t all it’s cracked out to be.”

  “Yeah, pretty sure that’s a lie.” Sam laughed and walked

  into the living room. I waited near the door. How the hell was I

  going to explain this to Alyssa? She’d been working all day. She

  sent me a text an hour ago saying she’d be at group, but it was ten

  minutes past six and she still wasn’t here. I began to pace.

  The doorbell rang. I nearly knocked myself out opening the

  door.

  Alyssa stood there, her smile was so bright I found myself

  staring at her for a few minutes in complete silence.

  “May I come in? Or are you just going to stare like an idiot

  all night?” She put her hand on her hips. She was wearing low

  slung hip hugger jeans with a cute hot pink tank top and flip flops.

  I wanted to maul her.

  I stepped forward and pulled her into a hug. “How about

  we go hang out alone… and leave everyone here?”

  “Some group leader you are…” came a voice behind me. I

  turned to see Sam shaking his head in amusement. “Come on,