Pull

by Rachel Van Dyken

  “No!” My voice shook. “I need… I need…” I began

  hyperventilating. The officer helped me to the ground and

  instructed me to calm down.

  Right. Because telling someone who can’t breathe to calm

  down is actually helpful. If he wasn’t a cop and if I wasn’t dying of

  heartbreak I would have flipped him off.

  All the air felt like it had been sucked out of the universe. All

  that was left was pain. I was so damn tired of feeling pain.

  “I’ll take care of her,” a familiar voice said through the haze

  of my choking. I gasped for more air as soon as I recognized the

  voice. Demetri? He didn’t say another word. He sat down on the

  cold wet ground and pulled me into his body, placing his hands on

  my chest, he whispered in my ear, “Breathe. Just follow me, okay?”

  Too panicked to do anything, I nodded as he breathed in my

  ear, pressing down on my chest when it was time to exhale and

  letting up when it was time to inhale.

  I closed my eyes against the flow of warm tears streaming

  down my face.

  “I love you.” I gasped, shaking violently in his arms. Done. I

  was so incredibly done with being sad, with being traumatized. “I

  thought… I thought something happened to you! Promise me,

  Demetri. Promise me nothing will ever happen to you.”

  He sighed heavily in my ear. “I can’t. But if I died tomorrow,

  know that I loved you with my entire being today.”

  Chapter Thirty-four

  Demetri

  I wasn’t sure she could drive herself home, so I made her

  ride with me and told Nat and Alec to come get her car for her.

  I’d been driving back into Seaside when I saw her fight off

  the cop on the side of the road. My first instinct was to pull over

  and wait in the car. I mean, clearly she was getting a ticket, right?

  And then I noticed her shaking body. She was convulsing.

  What the hell had the cop done to her? I quickly jumped out of my

  car and ran over to her. The minute I touched her, my eyes fell on

  the accident. I hadn’t really paid much attention. I figured I needed

  to keep my eyes on the road, considering most accidents get made

  worse by other drivers gawking.

  But I saw it.

  The black Mercedes, which of course a chick wouldn’t know,

  but I knew, was way cheaper than mine.

  And it was outside Seaside, almost to Canon Beach, which

  meant only one thing. Alyssa had somehow gone after me and

  thought I died. Shit. And then when she asked me to promise her

  never to leave or die? Yeah, kind of impossible. If it was possible to

  live forever just so she would never experience heartache again, I’d

  do it in a heartbeat. I’d do anything for her.

  We held hands over the console in complete silence. Alyssa

  was still shaking, but at least she was breathing like a normal

  human being now. I probably should have told her where I was

  going or asked if she wanted to come with me, but I thought she’d

  still be too pissed at me to even want to see my face.

  I’d been so lost in thought that I’d gone all the way into

  Canon Beach and then realized I forgot my wallet. So not only was

  I without any sort of ID or cash, but I was driving illegally.

  Good times.

  “Did you get the taffy?” she finally asked, breaking the tense

  silence.

  “No.” I laughed at her weird way of breaking the silence. “I

  forgot my wallet, so know that I’m totally illegal right now.”

  “Want me to drive?” How cute was she?

  “And suffer a panic attack? No, I’ll take my chances. Also,

  you’ve just suffered a crazy trauma. I mean, I’m alive, but ten

  minutes ago you thought I was dead, so yeah, let’s not tempt fate. I

  imagine you’re going to be needing Xanax any minute now.”

  Alyssa laughed lightly and squeezed my hand. “Um, do you

  think we can stop somewhere first?”

  “Sure.” I exhaled slowly allowing my heart to go back to its

  natural rhythm. “Where do you want to go?”

  “Drive past town, then when we get to Astoria, take a left on

  the first street before we hit the stoplight.”

  “Okay…” And the silence was again deafening as I drove for

  the next twenty minutes. It took forever to get on the other side of

  Seaside, considering the speed limit was twenty.

  Finally, we reached Astoria, and it began to rain. Of course.

  Panic set in when I realized where she was taking me. The

  cemetery. I pulled into the parking lot and ran around to the other

  side of the car to open her door.

  Alyssa gave me a sad smile and grabbed my hand. We

  walked for a few minutes and then she stopped.

  I didn’t want to look at the grave. I already knew who it

  was. Instead, I watched her, gauged her reaction. Rain fell across

  her cheekbones and ran down to her lips. Some caught in her

  mouth, and I wanted nothing more than to kiss the water away.

  Soon salty tears mixed with the rain, and I couldn’t tell which was

  which, all I knew is I wanted it to be gone. I would bleed myself till

  I was dry if she would just have peace.

  “Brady.” She choked a sob. “This is Demetri Daniels. He’s

  kind of famous.”

  “Kind of?” I joked.

  Alyssa rolled her eyes and wiped some of the tears and rain

  away from her face. “Sorry, my mistake. Brady, this is Demetri

  Daniels. He’s a rock god.” She lifted an eyebrow in my direction. I

  nodded my head.

  “Better.”

  “He’s a mess,” she continued. Ouch. “I mean, a huge mess.

  As in, he is all kinds of screwed up. He’s a recovering alcoholic and

  drug addict. He hates the color purple, he hates birds, and he

  refuses to go to zoos.”

  I cleared my throat.

  “He’s also the most wonderful person I’ve ever met. He’s

  kind, generous, funny, and he’s like the sun, always shining, which

  I think I kind of need, considering I live in Seaside and all. He

  makes the clouds go away, and sometimes when I think of his

  smile, I close my eyes and find peace.”

  “I’m telling you all of this so you know… my heart… it

  didn’t die with you in the accident. I thought it did, but I was

  wrong. I thought the pieces were scattered and impossible for me

  to put back together again. With Demetri I discovered that my

  heart still beat, and the pieces weren’t broken like I thought. They

  just needed someone who knew what they were doing.”

  I swallowed the lump in my throat.

  “I love him, Brady. It isn’t the same love that I had with

  you…”

  My stomach dropped.

  “It’s better. Because I finally understand what love is. It isn’t

  rainbows and butterflies. It isn’t always pretty. Sometimes it’s

  jagged like broken glass, and sometimes it hurts. But love, the type

  of love that’s real — the love Demetri has shown me — it’s selfless,

  it’s persistent. Real love pushes your boundaries, it pulls until you

  snap, and then when you think you can’t take anymore, it’s

  relentless in i
ts pursuit of your body, soul, and heart.”

  I was immobile as I closed my eyes and listened to the

  poetry of her words. Everything was in slow motion, the way the

  rain felt against my face as her words echoed in my heart like a

  lullaby. Fire ignited my soul at her truth, at the truth of existence,

  the truth of what love was.

  “I didn’t choose to love Demetri, Brady. It just happened.

  But the minute my heart made that decision, it was impossible to

  go back. It was like trying to breathe without air. I’m finally okay

  with letting you go. I’m finally okay with forgiving you, because I

  know whose arms I belong in. I know that the minute I turn away

  from your grave, I make the conscious choice to open my heart to

  real love. The love every person deserves. Goodbye, Brady.”

  I opened my eyes to see Alyssa right in front of me. Makeup

  ran down her face, her teeth were chattering, and her clothes were

  plastered to her body. I’d never seen anything more beautiful than

  her in that moment. Her eyes were shining. Her smile was wide

  and bright. I reached out, needing to touch her, needing to know

  that this moment between us was real.

  “I love you, Alyssa.”

  “I love you, Demetri.” She exhaled against my neck. Her

  breath was warm, sending chills all the way down my back. “Let’s

  get out of here.”

  “Wait…” I released her and walked over to the grave. I’d

  spent and awful lot of time cursing the guy that I should thank for

  saving Alyssa’s life. Granted, he screwed up big time, and I’d be

  lying if I said I wouldn’t punch him in the face if he was standing in

  front of me. But still, his body shielded her from the accident.

  I licked my lips. “Thank you. For protecting her, for saving

  her, but most of all, for not being selfish enough to keep her for

  yourself when you knew you couldn’t be faithful. I still want to hit

  you for all those times you kissed her when I couldn’t. I still cringe

  when I think of places your hands were that mine have yet to

  explore, but in the end, she’s mine. She’ll always be mine, so thank

  you. For finally allowing her to let go.”

  Alyssa walked up behind me and looped her arms around

  my chest. Her head bent to my back. I closed my eyes and

  memorized the moment. Just me and the love of my life, her dead

  ex-boyfriend, and the rain. Hell, I couldn’t have written a story this

  screwed up. But I’m glad that sometimes even bad things can be

  turned to good. I’m glad that the Creator of this messed up

  universe saw something redeemable in me and gifted me with an

  angel, when I deserved much less.

  Chapter Thirty-five

  Demetri

  “I could seriously sleep for five years,” I grumbled once we

  made it back to my beach house. I refused to let Alyssa out of my

  sight. I may have lured her to my place under false pretenses. I told

  her we had hot chocolate. I lied.

  “Where’s this famous hot chocolate?” she asked. Damn

  mind-reading women.

  “Uh… Up there.” Shameless, I know. I pointed to the top

  shelf. She walked over and stretched up against the counter. My

  mouth went completely dry as my eyes burned wild shameless

  circles around her body.

  “Hmm.” She put her hands on her hips. “I didn’t see it.”

  “Try again.” I was going to burn some place very hot for all

  this taunting.

  She stretched again, this time her shirt came up, revealing

  her flat stomach and a cute belly button. I must have made some

  sort of embarrassing moan or something because she froze and

  then turned to give me an icy glare.

  “There is not hot chocolate, is there?”

  I smirked and then shrugged. “Um, I don’t know. Care to

  look again?”

  “You ass!” She charged towards me. I didn’t even put up a

  fight as she pushed me against the counter. I just grabbed her and

  lifted her into the air. She wrapped her legs around my waist and

  kissed me across the mouth.

  “I’m sorry…” I said between kisses. “To be fair… I just

  wanted you alone… in my house… without any interruptions.”

  “What about Nat and Alec?” she asked tugging my lower

  lip.

  “Damn, woman… I… um…” I tasted her tongue and

  groaned. “They’re out.”

  “Where?”

  “What?” I nibbled her neck and moved lower pulling her

  soaking wet shirt away from her shoulder.

  “Where are they?”

  “Who?” What the hell was she talking about? Her skin was

  perfect. I wanted to both touch and then memorize every single

  touch and how it affected her.

  “Your brother. Demetri, are you even listening?”

  “No,” I answered honestly. “I stopped listening the minute

  you wrapped your legs around my waist, and if you don’t say stop,

  I’m going to be laying you across the kitchen counter in five

  seconds.”

  “Five seconds, huh? That’s pretty fast. You improve your

  time, bro?” My brother’s idiot voice echoed through the kitchen.

  Slowly, I pulled away from Alyssa and set her on the floor.

  Both Alec and Nat were standing in the kitchen, ridiculous

  grins on their faces as they watched me struggle with my

  embarrassment at nearly laying claim to my girlfriend near last

  night’s ranch dip.

  “Uhh….” I scratched my head. “Damn it! Just go away.

  We’re busy.”

  “We can tell,” Nat said triumphantly.

  “And we can’t go,” Alec said, smug grin in place. Was it

  illegal to strangle him in our house? I wondered if that was

  assault…

  “Our publicist and agent are taking a flight out to Portland

  tonight,” he said, looking between me and Alyssa. “I take it she’s

  in?”

  “In what?” Alyssa asked, wrapping her arms around my

  side.

  “The show. It’s a go. We have to do it, and anyone who

  hangs out with us has to sign a contract and stuff.”

  Alyssa nodded. “I think I can do it. I mean, if it means being

  with Demetri I have no choice.”

  I exhaled in relief while giving Alec the glare he deserved.

  Must we talk about this right now?

  “There’s some other stuff…”Alec gave me the look that said

  there was way more than some other stuff going on. Was he even

  keeping Nat out of the loop? “Nat, why don’t you show Alyssa the

  bathroom so she can change out of her wet clothes and take a

  shower.” His eyes never left mine the whole time. Shit. This was

  bad.

  “Sure.” Nat looped her arm with Alyssa’s and they

  disappeared up the stairs.

  “What are you keeping from her?” I asked once they were

  out of earshot.

  “Everything.” Alec sighed. “They want another famous

  couple for the show.”

  “Don’t they have enough? I mean they’re going to be

  stealing our privacy already. It’s you, me, Nat, and Alyssa.”

  “And Jaymeson.”

  “Pardon?” I had just taken a hug sw
ig of water and began

  coughing wildly. Alec thumped me on the back.

  “Oh, that’s not the worst part.” Alec smirked.

  “Great.”

  “He’s bringing a girl. You know, to even the odds.”

  “Who’s the lucky lady?”

  Alec looked down and mumbled an answer.

  “Care to repeat that?”

  He mumbled again.

  “What the hell! Just spit it out!”

  “Angelica Greene.”

  “Hell no!” I yelled and threw my hands in the air. “I’m

  calling our manager right now. Hell will have to seriously freeze

  the shit over before I allow that woman back in my life!”

  “She’s just… Hollywood,” Alec said, defending her.

  “She’s bat shit crazy. As in, the bat that feeds on the other

  crazy bats and then smiles while she’s consuming their hearts!”

  “Whoa, dramatic much?” Alec laughed. “What’s the deal?

  So you hung out with her a bit when you were back in L.A. last

  year. It’s not as if you guys hooked up.”

  The room began to spin as I tried to calm my breathing. Not

  her. Anyone but her. I couldn’t have her back in my life. She was a

  manipulative bitch. She was poison, and the sick part was… she

  was the one I had… Yeah, I couldn’t even say it or acknowledge it

  in my head.

  “No.” I repeated again. “And I’m sorry, but why aren’t you

  freaking out? Jaymeson has a huge thing for both Nat and Alyssa.”

  Alec shrugged. “He’s British.”

  “Point taken.” Crap. “Has she been finalized for the show?”

  Alec nodded.

  “And the show’s been picked up already?”

  “Without a pilot.”

  “Impossible.”

  Alec shrugged. “Apparently, thanks to your great summer

  here at Seaside, they have all the pictures they need. People love

  you, Demetri. You know that. There’s nothing the press likes more

  than the bad boy turning good and then falling for a local girl. And

  lucky us, it happened twice.”

  “Yeah, lucky,” I said dryly. “When does the show start?”

  “Filming starts in August. They’re going to do a few

  webisodes for the first two filmings, and then it’s going to air on

  cable.”

  “Cable’s better than a huge network.”

  “Dude, have you been living under a rock?” Alec laughed.

  “Cable shows are huge right now. Mad Men? True Blood? White