Touchdown Tony Crowne and the Mystery of the Missing Cheerleader

by Peter Guy George

  “Ask the detective to talk to me, I’ve got something to tell him—”

  A roar went up from the visitor’s section as the Lions’ placekicker drilled the extra-point attempt even though Nick Miller had come very close to getting a hand on it. The Lions double-teamed Judd and that left a hole for Nick to run through, but the ball angled past his outstretched hands. Smilin’ Bob’s voice crackled through the air, “The extra point is good and the Lions lead the Bobcats, 7-0.”

  “What?” Maria bent down next to Tony, “I couldn’t hear you.”

  “Ask Detective Bou—”

  “That’s enough, young fella,” interrupted Doc. “Let me finish giving you some more tests and if you pass, then you can talk all you want.” Doc glanced at Maria, grinned and said, “Go on back to your seat, I’ll let you know the results as soon as I can.”

  “Thank you, Doc.” Maria ran her hand through Tony’s hair, smiled nervously and climbed back up to her seat next to the Judge.

  Nick Miller drifted back to the thirty yard line to await the Lions kickoff, running in place a little, working the kinks out of his neck, making sure he’s thoroughly warmed up for his run back. The Lions head coach, Charles “Chuck” Washington, well aware of Nick’s running and cutting ability, threw two fingers into the air and shouted at his kickoff team as they were lining up on the field, “Kickoff Two! Kickoff Two!”

  The Lions place kicker nodded at Coach Chuck’s instruction and re-arranged the ball slightly on the tee, backed up, put his hand in the air and waited for the go ahead to kickoff. The referee whistled for play to start and the Lions kicker, instead of booting the ball into the air, squib kicked it down the middle of the field.

  The football began as a line drive past the first row of blockers, dovetailed down, hit the ground, flipped end over end, bounced twice and on the third bounce the tip of the football caught the turf and careened into the air. The last bounce took Nick entirely by surprise, he was expecting the football to stay low, but it went high and the football ricocheted off his shoulder pads and caromed down to the fifteen-yard line.

  Nick was now in a footrace with two Lions to grab the live ball, all three pushing and shoving to get there first. At the eighteen-yard line, Nick and one of the Lions dove to recover the football, but they only succeeded in punching it further down the field and it dribbled into the end zone. The other Lions player who didn’t dive for the football easily recovered it in the end zone before any of the Bobcats could make a play on it.

  Coach Tiny, with his arms draped over his head, could only look on in disbelief as the Lions scored their second touchdown in a matter of seconds. “Touchdown! Number 47, Nathan Marley. 13 to 0.” Smilin’ Bob glanced at Hunter Dunwoody, mouthed a noiseless “Uh-oh” and watched the extra-point kick sail through the uprights. He updated the crowd with an echoing, “14 to 0, Lakeside Lions.”

  Walking up and down the sideline, clapping his hands and speaking in an upbeat tone Coach Tiny tried to infuse morale into his players with some words of wisdom, “Let’s go! Let’s go! Down 14 to zip. We’ve been here before and come back. No big deal. We’re gonna to stick to our plan. Keep your head in the game. Okay, return squad! Out on the field! Let’s go, let’s go!”

  Coach Chuck held up two fingers and, again the Lions squib kicked the football down the field to nullify Nick’s run back ability. This time Nick lined up deeper and easily fielded the bouncing football at the twenty-yard line. He sidestepped the first tackler, looked downfield, saw a crease on the right side and headed that direction. With two Lions racing to cut him off at the sideline, Nick stutter-stepped, pulled up slightly, broke the opposite way and left the two defenders grasping at air. Now, slicing back to the middle of the field, Nick broke one feeble tackle attempt, spun out of another arm tackle and was set to be gang tackled by three Lions when Judd flew in and blocked the first one into the second tackler’s path causing him to fall down. Nick juked the third tackler onto his knees, but that Lion reached out and grabbed Nick’s jersey, held on until help arrived and Nick was brought down at his own forty-one-yard line.

  The pep band, bolstered by a good play, burst out into the opening bars of the fight song, but stopped suddenly when Smilin’ Bob announced a penalty flag had been thrown, “Clipping penalty on the Bobcats. The Bobcats will control the ball on their own twenty-six-yard line.” The hometown fans all groaned at the same time and Coach Tiny threw his arms up in disgust.

  Sticking to his game plan, Coach Tiny probed the Lions defense by calling two consecutive running plays to the right side, both were stopped for no gain and the Bobcats were looking at a third and ten situation.

  Nick looked to the sideline for the next play and Coach Tiny signaled for a square-out pass to the tight end, Jay Evans. The Lions front line normally played soft against a runner like Nick Miller, but in a third-and-ten situation the Lions defensive coach let them rush full bore with a linebacker blitzing on each side. In a shotgun formation, Nick could see the linebackers creeping up to the line and knew he’d have to get the pass off quickly for the play to be successful.

  The shotgun snap to Nick was unusually low and threw his timing off. The left side of the offensive line anchored by Judd, easily kept the Lions defenders at bay. The right side of the offensive line, however, had a minor breakdown and the Lions left defensive end slid through his blocker and was churning directly toward Nick. Jay Evans had run a perfect route and his defender was lagging behind him, all he needed was the football. Nick dropped back two steps, planted his right foot, saw his open receiver and flung the football as hard as he could. The ball sailed directly into the Lions defensive end’s outstretched hand, caromed off and fluttered high into the air toward the defensive secondary. The Lions safety on that side saw the play develop, cheated up somewhat to the line and was rewarded with the football dropping down to him like a wounded duck. He intercepted the ball on a dead run at the thirty-two-yard line and waltzed into the end zone untouched.

  “What did I tell you?” a smug Hunter Dunwoody growled out of the side of his mouth as he chewed on a toothpick, leaned back in his chair and clasped his hands behind his head.

  Smilin’ Bob watched the extra point split the uprights and announced, “The Lakeside Lions lead the Dersee Bobcats, 21 to 0.” He turned to Dunwoody and said, "Un-buh-lievable!"

  Chapter 15- The Detective and the Chocolate Sprinkles

  “Oh, no!” Doc said as he watched the Lions score a touchdown. The Lions’ fans erupted in raucous cheers while the Bobcats’ fans sat in unnatural silence.

  “What happened, Doc? What happened?” Tony jumped up from his sitting position, but could not see what happened other than the referee signaling a touchdown.

  Doc turned to Tony, grabbed him by the shoulder pads and sat him back down on the bench. “The Lions intercepted and ran it back for a td.”

  “This is getting out of hand! I gotta talk to Coach Tiny!” Tony sprang back up, but Doc caught him again and forced him to sit down.

  “Nope, you’re not going anywhere until I’m satisfied that you’re okay. I’m going to re-evaluate you at halftime. Until then, stay here. Understand?" Doc said with a serious look as well as with a serious tone to his voice.

  “Yeah, but—”

  “No buts, young man.”

  Sighing, Tony slumped on the bench and muttered in a resigned voice, “Yes, sir.”

  “Good, I’ll back in a little while. In the meantime, drink plenty of water.” Doc handed him a water bottle and walked back to his usual spot on the sideline in case he was needed again.

  Tony, alone on the bench and with plenty of time on his hands, thought about Ash’s disappearance and the possibilities of what could have happened to her. What could Felicity have possibly done to her? Ash was ten times more athletic than Felicity. So, if Felicity had done anything she would have needed help. The toads! Are the toads here? Tony swiveled his head from side to side scanning the Dersee crowd. No, no, I don’t see them—wait! The
re. They’re at the concession stand, talking and laughing with another girl. I suppose it’s possible Felicity and the toads could have kidnapped her, tied her up and then come to the game. Hmm, Felicity and the toads don’t seem very nervous. I know I’d be nervous and edgy if I just committed a crime. Of course, not all people react the same way, do they?

  Sipping on his water bottle, Tony’s eyes lit up, he stood, turned and waved frantically at his mother to come down to him. When Maria arrived, he asked her, “I need to speak to Detective Boo—, Detective Boog— is he still at the game?”

  “Bouguereau? You pronounce it like, Boo-gah-roo. Why? Do you know something about Ash?”

  Tony silently pronounced the name Bouguereau several times before saying, “No, but I’ve got a hunch that Detective Bouguereau might find useful.”

  “Right, well, he was at the ticket gate a few minutes ago. He shouldn’t be too hard to find, not the way he’s dressed.” Maria searched the crowd for a man in a wide-brimmed black hat, tweed overcoat, walking cane, bushy moustache, reading glasses pushed down onto the tip of his nose and the ever-present unlit cigar clamped between his fingers. “Ah, there he is, I’ll be right back with him.” Maria knew Detective Jean-Baptiste Bouguereau well from her days in the District Attorney’s office, but Tony only knew him from his school lecture.

  “J.B., this is my lovely son, Tony.” Maria smiled as she introduced the two.

  “Oh, yes. I thought you looked familiar when I gave my speech at the elementary school. You asked many intriguing questions about my profession that day. “Jean-Baptiste Bouguereau grinned, shook his hand and looked Tony directly in the eye for a long time. “Now, I have a very serious situation occurring with your friend, Miss Richardson, very serious situation, indeed.” Detective Bouguereau thought for a moment, turned to his mother and asked, “Maria, would you be so kind as to bring me a hot cocoa with marshmallows and chocolate sprinkles? Thank you.”

  “What?”

  “Now, now, Tony and I have important things to discuss and I think better when I have my hot cocoa. Please, Maria, for me? Oh, and heavy on the sprinkles. Thank you.”

  “Oh, J.B., this is a pee wee football game! They won’t have chocolate sprinkles and I guarantee they won’t have marshmallows. You’ll be lucky if the water they use is hot!” Maria said with a touch of annoyance in her voice as she strode off toward the concession stand.

  Detective Bouguereau put his arm around Tony, leaned in and explained, “Because of the way you asked those questions in school, I know you have a distinct interest in police work. Remember, young people talk with—how shall I say— more ease, if their parents are not in the same room with them. So, use whatever means necessary to separate the parents from their children, even if it means hot cocoa, marshmallows and chocolate sprinkles!”

  Grinning, Tony nodded and began to tell Detective Bouguereau his hunch about Ash’s disappearance, who he thought was involved and how to catch them.

  Chapter 16- The Halftime

  Judd easily shed the block of the first lineman and was working to get around the second lineman’s double-team block when he saw his middle linebacker, David Scott, tear through on a blitz and sack the Lions’ quarterback for another huge loss. Judd high-fived David and offered his hand to the quarterback for help up. The quarterback, Rod Keegan, smacked his hand away and shouted, “I don’t need your stinkin’ help to get up.”

  “Suit yourself. Just bein’ friendly. I noticed you’ve been spendin’ a lot time on your back lately and thought ya might be gettin’ tired.”

  “We’re up by 21, I’m not getting tired.” Rod grunted as he rolled over and then grimaced as he gingerly stood up. The scoreboard clock ticked down the last seconds of the first half.

  “We gotta whole ‘nother half to play and I’m just gettin’ warmed up. Ain’t this fun! Whoa! Haw-Har!”

  The referee blew his whistle signaling the end of the first half with the Bobcats still trailing the Lions, 21-0. After the disastrous first few minutes of the game for the Bobcats, both teams had trouble moving the ball on offense due mainly to missed assignments, penalties and great defensive plays by each team.

  During the short halftime, neither team returns to the locker room. Instead, they retreat to their respective end zones, huddle up and discuss strategy there. As the Bobcats jogged to their end zone, the fans yelled their support and the pep band played the Bobcat fight song with a new intensity.

  Doc Claiborne ran with Coach Tiny and said, “Tony’s all yours. I’ve ruled out everything I was concerned with. He’s anxious to talk to you about something.”

  “Thanks, Doc. I appreciate it. I’m eager to get him on the field.” Coach Tiny shot him a knowing glance and when he reached the end zone, he called out, “All right, everyone huddle up with me, but do not sit down, I repeat, do not sit down. Form a circle. That’s it. Okay, spread out just a little bit. Judd, Tony and Nick, come here inside the circle and kneel down. I want to go over some plays with you and I don’t want the Lions coach to know who I’m talking to.”

  A highlight for many a Bobcat fan is being able to listen in on Coach Tiny’s halftime pep talk. Many fans can hear him as they sit in the bleachers because his voice carries well, but some like to mosey down to the end zone and experience the emotion of the speech up close and personal. One such habitual eavesdropper is Rudy Ernst, the owner of the local sporting goods store, Rudy’s Sports. He listens for a catch phrase that Coach Tiny might use during his speech and, if he hears a good one, he will print it on t-shirts or sweatshirts with the Bobcats logo on the front and the catch phrase on the back. The cash registers on Mondays are especially busy at Rudy’s Sports if the Coach spouts something memorable or catchy. It’s a win-win situation, all profits go to the local Boy Scout troop of which Coach Tiny is the scoutmaster and Rudy’s Sports gets more customers in the door.

  “Okay, are all three of you clear on what we’re going to do?” Coach Tiny’s gaze flitted back and forth between Judd, Nick and Tony making sure they knew what their assignments were.

  All three grinned, nodded their head and gave him a rousing yes, sir. One of Coach Tiny’s prerequisites for playing and starting on his team was the usage of “yes, sir” in all conversations with coaches, parents, people in authority and most especially with the referees. Coach Tiny felt if you give respect, you gain respect back from that person and you also gain more self-respect for yourself.

  Coach Tiny raised his hand, got everyone’s attention quickly and said in a low voice, “Listen up. The speech I’m about to give is in two parts. The first part is gonna be a misdirection play for Coach Chuck’s benefit. What I mean by that is I’m gonna pretend that we are sticking with our game plan no matter what, but actually we’re not. I want him to hear it loud and clear. Now, the second part of the speech is for all of you to take to heart, so you pay strict attention to the second part. Hear me?”

  All the players nodded and gave him a rousing, “Yes, sir!”

  Peering down to the opposite end zone, Coach Tiny saw the Lions break up their huddle and were waiting for the signal to return to their sideline. “Coach Buck, it’s time for that pep band to take a break, ain’t it?”

  “You got it, Coach.” Eddie Buck trotted down to the pep band’s director, whispered a few words into his ear and the director immediately stopped the band. The football field for the most part was quiet.

  Standing up, Coach Tiny cleared his throat, wiped the sweat off of his brow and began pacing back and forth in front of his players.

  “All right, by the looks of the scoreboard, I’ve got exactly one minute for a speech. ONE LOUSY MINUTE!” Holding up one finger he continued, “First thing, I was an awful coach the first half, A LOUSY COACH, I made so many mistakes that we are now 21 points in the hole! I’ve never been 21 points in the hole in my life! So what are we gonna do? STICK TO OUR GAME PLAN!”

  A couple of groans emanated from the Bobcats’ fans and the Lions’ crowd clapped and hooted at
the last line.

  That didn’t faze Coach Tiny, he was on a roll. “It’s a good plan. It’s what we’re known for! IT’S OUR BRAND OF FOOTBALL!” He thundered with the veins popping out on his neck.

  Holding up two fingers, he went on, “Second thing, second thing.” He glared at the players and roared, “I AIN’T GIVING UP!” He took a few steps toward the Bobcats’ bleachers, pointed his finger toward them and bellowed, “I AIN’T GIVING UP!” The Bobcats’ fans stood, clapped, fist pumped and shouted their approval. Turning back to the players he yelled, “AND IF I’M NOT GIVING UP, THAT MEANS YOU’RE NOT GIVING UP! I WON’T LET YOU!”

  Coach Buck waved to the pep band director and the band erupted into the Bobcats’ fight song as Coach Tiny ran with the players back to their sideline.

  Rudy Ernst smiled as he took out his little white notebook, drew a picture of a t-shirt and outlined the words, “I ain’t giving up!” on the shirt.

  Chapter 17- The Interrogation

  From the town of Lourdes, France by birth, Jean-Baptiste Bouguereau became a naturalized citizen of the United States at the age of eighteen, graduated from the state university, joined the police force of the nearby big city and rose in the ranks until he settled in as a homicide detective for thirty-five years. Widowed early in his career, Jean-Baptiste poured all of his energy into his career, receiving many commendations and medals for his work. Retiring to Dersee, he promptly bought a lakefront home, as well as a boat and fishing gear intending to while away the hours on his new found hobby. A life without work, however, was not for Jean-Baptiste. He contacted the Chief of Police, Chet Murphy, and offered his services on a part-time basis and at a rock-bottom salary, one dollar per year. Chief Murphy could not refuse and was thrilled to add him to the force. While homicides are rare in Dersee, many other crimes need to be investigated and Jean-Baptiste was more than willing to do the investigating.