Our Sins

by Kimberly Blalock

  I spoke with Nat this morning telling her how much I love and appreciate her. She’s been through hell protecting Evan and me. We’d be dead if it wasn’t for her, and I wanted her to know that she is in my heart. She has moments that she lets go of her emotion. Far and few. But she wasn’t having any of that today. She simply and quietly said, “Abby you’re already my sister. I love you.” She hugged me tight and then quickly retreated out of the room. I knew she was trying to be strong. Not everyone in this family has the same emotional reaction. I love every one of them for their individuality.

  “You ready for this?” my dad asks shaking me from my thoughts.

  He’s standing by my side holding my shaking hand. I didn’t realize I was shaking until he grips me. I nod my head, but I’m not ready to stop being his little girl. “Whoa, this is…” I’m not having cold feet I’m just a nervous bride. There are so many people out there.

  I wish we would’ve eloped in Vegas last night like normal people. I try to hold my nervous laughter. Once I’m in his arms, everything will be okay. Bliss will find me once I touch him “I love you so much sweet heart. I know that he will take great care of you, but you can always come home.” I know my dad, he’s strong and stoic most of the time, so the loss of emotion on his face doesn’t alter my heart’s knowledge of the love he has for me.

  “I love you too, Dad.” I reach around his waist hugging him tighter than ever.

  Andre waves at us notifying that it’s our turn. The double doors of the cathedral open and the music changes to the slow bridal chorus. I take a deep breath as my future waits on the other side of the long white isle. My arm crosses inside my dad’s as our walk begins.

  Everyone stands as we enter the large cathedral, but my eyes aren’t on them. My eyes are searching for Evan. I see him in his dark tux with Michael by his side. When our eyes meet, his face lights up.

  Our feet continue the journey with white satin beneath our feet. My second cousin Sophia, the flower girl, is leading the way as her mom Tabitha cheers her to the finish line. Sophia watches the crowed on both sides of the isle. I see her giggle as she picks up a few petals and throws them into the guests’ direction. I think she’s supposed to drop them, but not little three year old Sophia. Her footsteps still when the guests begin stifling their laughter.

  I admit I’m trying to hold it back, too. I think Sophia realizes what the guests are giggling at. She turns pointing to her mommy and then runs into Tabitha’s direction. I look up to Evan seeing his face; bright red. He’s getting a kick out of little Sophia too. My heart thuds faster against my chest.

  Everyone’s attention turns back to me as we continue up the aisle. The flowers are amazing; white lilies, rose. You name it, it’s here. I have no idea what most of them are. Nonetheless, they’re all amazing. My parents, well my mom especially, worked tirelessly on this wedding, making it everything she’d ever wanted for me. I’m not a big glam girl, but this is the only wedding their child will have so this I will give them. I want their happiness so much. I had ideas for the wedding that I wanted, but at the end of the day my family’s happiness is exactly what this union is about. Love and happiness together forever.

  I catch a glance at the guests as I pass. They’re all dressed so beautifully. Smiles and tears adorn their faces. As we make our way to the alter my body moves towards Evan’s, wanting to touch him, kiss him, hold him, marry the man I’ll never be away from.

  My father and I step onto the alter steps. My father tucks my hands into Evan’s and then kisses my cheek. “I love you, baby girl.”

  “Daddy,” I whisper as he steps away leaving me in the hands of my future. My dad seats himself next to my mom. She’s in tears already and we haven’t even begun yet. I attempt a smile, but it’s amiss.

  “You okay?” Evan mouths quietly.

  I nod, stepping closer to him.

  “We’ve come here today to join these two souls together.” The preacher announces, beginning the ceremony.

  My eyes never leave Evans. I feel his warm touch and all of my doubts disappear. Don’t get me wrong. I never doubted my love for him or his for me. No. This doubt was about having the courage to be brave. It was about having the ability to face my future. A future I didn’t see coming. I thought I’d live inside my grief for the rest of my life. Maybe finding love. Maybe not, but I never saw him coming. I’ve never seen this kind of love before. I never thought it was possible to feel the way I feel.

  As the preacher begins speaking, I turn my attention to Evan. We lace our fingers and move closer into each other. My heart flutters against my chest with elation as I search every feature of his face. His blue eyes, dark shadow around his jaw, sweet, full lips. I lean my head forward taking a deep breath of his amazingly masculine smell. I’m grounded to him in every way. When Evan begins to speak, I focus on his lips again. His tongue dips from his mouth sweeping over his bottom lip. Mmm.

  “Abigale Marie Hays, I pledge to you, my love. A love that I never thought possible.” He pauses and my stomach lurches forward. I grip his hands. He smiles. “I had this entire speech written, but I just realized it was all crap. What I really need to say should be spontaneous in this moment.” He smiles again. So do I. “I didn’t know you existed. The possibility of you alone was unheard of in my world. The perfect girl, the perfect life. But here you are. Standing in front of me with a light that I can see for miles away. The first time I saw you I melted.”

  “He totally did,” Michael interrupts causing the entire church to erupt in laughter. Evan rolls his eyes but still smiles.

  “I had to see you, know you, and love you. I worshipped you even before our first introduction. I had never felt that way before.” A tear slips from his eye. I release my hand from his, wiping it away. “I will love you until I take my last breath and beyond. I promise to be faithful always. I promise to rub your feet and bring you breakfast in bed. I promise every romantic fairytale you can imagine. For agreeing to be my wife on this day, I will worship you forever.” He leans into me. Taking the ring from Michael and placing in on my finger. “You are my world, Abby. Until oblivion.”

  A lone tear falls. Exhaling deeply, I say, “Evan Young.” His eyes are so bright blue. I smile as his sexy dimples peek out at me. “I also had something written, but I’ll wing it, too.” I grin. Everyone snickers. “Evan, you came to me at a time in my life that I didn’t know I could escape from. I didn’t know happiness existed. I died every day. I hid the pain inside a dark place, but every day like clockwork it found me. When you came into my life, everything was… I could breathe again. I could smell the flowers and see the beauty of the world. I didn’t know how beautiful life really was or is. How wonderful love could truly be.

  “Your warm hugs, the way you hold my hand. Your protectiveness… It’s all so beautiful.” My head falls so that I can gather myself. His hand meets my chin bringing me to face him.

  “It’s okay, angel.”

  “See? You’re so kind and loving. Gentle and passionate. You, Evan Young, are also my oblivion. When I’m with you I’m submerged into a bliss I’ve never known was ever possible for me. I love you and will love you forever. Beyond my last breath. Beyond my next life, wherever that might be.”

  Evan doesn’t wait for the preacher to pronounce us husband and wife, and he certainly doesn’t ask for permission to kiss me. He just does it. His hands wrap around me in a firm, but delicate embrace. His lips surrounding mine. Our love intertwines into forever because with Evan forever is possible.

  Once the preacher has a chance to pronounce us husband and wife, Evan sweeps me into his arms. “You’re not for the whole let’s-walk-down-the-aisle-and-wave-to-everyone, type huh?”

  “Not a chance. There’s only one way you’re walking out of this church and that’s in my arms.” I laugh.

  Everyone has to nearly run from the church to blow the bubbles and see us off. He’s in a hurry. Everyone smiles and waves as we tuck into the waiting limo and drive away.
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  “Are you ready to spend forever with me?” he asks.

  “I’m ready to spend one-hundred-forever’s with you.” He kisses me, this time with claim. Claim that only a private place can feed him. “Hotel!” I say to the driver.

  “We might not get to the reception.” He laughs into the kiss.

  “Who the hell cares?” My hands tuck behind his ears.

  “You are the boss, Mrs. Young.”

  My body tingles loving his dominance. “I do like the sound of that,” I admit. I feel safe when Evan takes control. I feel his love.

  “Me too. I think that’s what I’ll call you from now on.”

  The reception is breathtaking. Lit to perfection across my parent’s yard. A dance floor in the garden, tables and tents placed all around. The most beautiful idea for a reception. The Emcee announces mine and Evan’s arrival as we enter an hour late. I blush. “Everyone’s going to know why we’re late,” I tell him, embarrassed.

  “It doesn’t matter what they think. It only matters what we know.” He tucks me into his side.

  We’re taken around the reception to greet our guests. We receive hugs and congratulations from our family and friends. The smiles never leave our faces. Our fingers tuck into each other’s

  We’re finally able to sit with each other taking in the glow of the lights and the beauty of the white and lavender flowers. Evan tucks me into his side every once in a while stealing a kiss from my lonely lips. I love it when he does that. His smell and warmth surround me.

  I still can’t believe that he’s my husband. It doesn’t seem real. How can this amazingly gorgeous man love me?

  We each dance with various people among the crowd, always finding our way back to one-another. He lifts me into his arms and holds me, his cheek flush with mine. The songs go by and we never hear them. For a few minutes I forget there’s anyone else here until our dancing ends and we begin to exit the dance floor seeing every single person here. They all begin applauding and cheering at us. I blush. He tucks me back into his embrace. It’s where I’m comfortable and he knows that.

  The night runs its course with cake and many toasts. Amy’s toast was insane, I cried so hard. My mom was right. The piece of cloth she folded into my bra came in very handy.

  Amy’s decided that moving to New York is exactly what she wants to do. So this will be our last night together for a while. I haven’t seen much of her lately. She’s got a lot going on with planning a move across country. I wish her the best. I hope that the happiness that I’ve found finds her as well. I love her so much.

  Once the night comes to an end, Evan and I say our goodbyes and leave for the limo. I’ve told Evan that I have a surprise for him. My wedding gift to him. It was a surprise for me as well.

  Evan once again tucks me into the car and we wave to those that are still here. My mom has been crying relentlessly, and it’s probably because the waiters have been filling her glass all night. She’s a little bit on the completely drunk side.

  “Are you ready for you surprise, my love?” I ask grinning ear to ear.

  “I’m ready for everything with you.”

  The car drives us away to the beginning of our forever.

  The night follows as the limo drives to our destination. I’ve planned something for Abby. A surprise. She thinks we’re only going back to the hotel. Wrong.

  The house isn’t ready for us to move into yet but will definitely accommodate us for tonight. A few more things to do before we’re ready to move in. I’m hoping that’s very soon. Tomorrow we leave for our honeymoon to Jamaica. A secure resort for couples. The pictures are beautiful. I’m excited to share that with her.

  Meanwhile, I’ve planned a romantic ending to the evening. I told Brent and Adam to get lost and find something better to do. No one’s getting into this house. The security system’s been set up to perfection since the beginning, the alarm to the main house is impenetrable. No one’s getting past the gates, and if they do, they’ll meet my gun or my fist.

  I’ve been on edge lately where her safety is concerned. I’m sure that the car I’ve been seeing around town is watching me. As soon as we get them close, BAM! They get out of our web. It’s like almost having your fingers tips around that glass before it falls and shatters to the floor. It pisses me the fuck off. The guys assure me; they have only seen the car around Abby when she’s with me.

  I’m the target.

  Not her.

  I can deal with that.

  I’ve been responsible for my share of pain. Seeing Kale at the bar last night brought that shit back. I saw red when he was sitting next to her. My sins are bound to come back to haunt me. Probably likely they’ll haunt her, too. That’s why getting her into the house as quickly as possible is so important. I think I made my point when I picked him up by his throat. If he was looking for a fight, then I didn’t disappoint. However, when I looked into his eyes as he begged for breath, I only saw one thing. It isn’t a fight he wants. It’s a war. The past I’d thought was long buried is resurfacing.

  I’ll never forget that night. The fucking nightmare I relive every time I close my eyes. The night I did the unimaginable. Yet, I still live with myself each day. This is one of the reasons I don’t deserve this beautiful woman nestled deep into my side, pressing her cheek to my chest.

  The past is the past. And here we are with it in my present. Facing me. Threatening to take from me what I took from him. I could be paranoid. But I think I know better than that.

  The lights dip in and out of the reflection of the pool. No one’s here. Yet. He will be. Soon. And then I can go home. Taking out this mark will get Thomas off my ass for a while and give me some peace.

  I adjust the bipod and monopod then slide from my side onto my stomach. My sight locks on the window I’ve seen him in these last few days.

  Kale McCormick, one of the most notorious Irish-American mobsters in the twenty first century. I know why my father would want him dead. This guy’s homicidal and carries a dark cloud wherever he goes. People die around McCormick. If you cross him, you’re sure to be one of those dead. I also consider, this has something to do with the election.

  McCormick’s brother Ronan is a politician. I’ve considered what kind of resistance Thomas is meeting with Ronan running for the senate seat. Thomas has been sitting in that seat for the last twenty-five years. I’m certain he isn’t happy about giving it up. Having Kale on Ronan’s six isn’t the best of circumstances.

  It’s said that Irish had a hand in pretty deep with politics shortly after coming to the U.S. and escaping the Irish Holocaust.

  Thomas doesn’t tell me his reasoning behind the hits he orders. I know it’s sick to have your son killing random people even if they are gangsters. My whole career has been dedicated to the takedown of America’s gangsters. Who’s gonna suspect your son, the dedicated ATF agent, turning rogue? I could ask him why he has me do it all day long and never get an answer. So I don’t ask.

  Truthfully, Thomas isn’t any better than the gangsters I hunt. He orders the same hits they do. This is why his security team stays close every second of the day. I imagine McCormick has made threats. Threats he will make good on. The problem is, McCormick is just half of the syndicate. There is someone even more ruthless than him lurking. I imagine he’ll be the next on the chopping block. He doesn’t have a lot to do with the aspects that McCormick does, however.

  Luke Brannon, the other half of the crew works his illegal actions mostly in prostitution and drugs. This leaves the hard stuff such as gun distribution for McCormick. Nevertheless, Brannon is a sinister dude. These guys are my age and have already sold their souls to the devil.

  I spot movement. I lean in getting into a comfortable position. Once you make contact with the target, you don’t want to let it go.

  I’m seventeen-hundred yards out, leaving me the confidence I need knowing I’m going to pull the trigger and be gone before the body hits the floor. Undetected. He’ll never know who it was
that took him down. That is a little disappointing to be honest. McCormick deserves to know who it is that’s ending his life. Me.

  My finger sets just above the trigger waiting for him to find his place in my site. I breathe in and out, slowly. My heart beats so fucking hard, but missing isn’t an option so I continue to breath-slowing it down.

  A light brightens the space. I’m positioned and ready. A shadow darkens a small space just to the right of the window as he appears. He’s reading something, looking down into his hands. His motion halts for the moment. I take a deep breath in as my finger presses against the cold metal. I release an easy breath applying pressure on the trigger. The gun growls and kicks, jolting my body just an inch. I was prepared for the kick.

  The millisecond after the gun releases its death grip in McCormick’s direction someone moves in front of him and he steps away.

  It’s a female.

  Chloe McCormick.

  Kale’s pregnant sister.

  The bullet’s already in motion. I can’t stop it. If she doesn’t move, there’s no going back.

  I watch her smiling face. She’s going to die. Chloe and the unborn child are going to die. Because of me. Fuck!

  Seconds after I pull the trigger her body collapses. As she falls to the floor, her eyes meet mine. I know I’m far enough away she can’t see me, but her eyes meet mine regardless. I stare into those eyes for three rapid breaths. Kale runs to her side. I know that I should shoot. This is my opportunity to take him out. He’s right there tending to his sister.

  I can’t.

  I’m frozen.

  I’ve not only just taken the life of a young woman that hasn’t done anything wrong. But now I’ve taken the life of her unborn child.