Our Sins

by Kimberly Blalock

  The bag over my head has a rip on the right side. I see light shine through realizing I’ve been asleep. My face pounds from the punch in the face Hollister gave me when he’d caught me looking at the camera in the hotel lobby. I knew I had to make myself seen somehow. The people that stood in the lobby didn’t give a shit about me, even standing there with this psycho shoving me and pulling me along like a rag doll. No one said or did anything. He’d told me the gun in his pants would be the last thing that I saw, and my girls would die slowly losing oxygen if I fought him. He’s a doctor so of course he’d know. I was scared, and even though I could’ve run a few times, I was too scared. I didn’t know what to do. I just froze. I squeeze my eyes closed in the darkness.

  He’s got my head covered making it hard to breathe. My hands are behind my back zip tied. I remember him doing that right before I finally went unconscious from the blunt hit to my head. He yelled at me asking why I was trying to get away from him. I hadn’t even tried to run. But he’s crazy. He’s lost his mind. He’d said that Evan killed his father. He didn’t elaborate, but I’m sure he’s wrong Evan would’ve told me that, someone would’ve told me that, right? Maybe he has Evan confused with someone else, maybe he’s just fucking crazy.

  “You awake?” Hollister pulls my arm jerking me, but I don’t know if I should speak or keep quiet. “Abigale, are you awake?”

  “Yes,” I murmur.

  He doesn’t say anything else for several minutes, but when he does speak his voice is different and calculating. Evil. “I wanted to kill you.” He wanted to kill me? Does that mean he doesn’t still want to kill me?

  I remain quiet listening for anything that will save me. Any clue is a good clue, that’s what Nat always says. She’d know. Nat has a dark past and is very knowledgeable of getting out of situations like this. She shared with me the darkest time in her life, and while it killed me to hear it I’m grateful she’d told me because it might be what saves mine and my girls’ lives now.

  The car turns quick slowing to a stop. “I’ll be right back, Abby, don’t even think about moving from that spot or I’ll kill your babies one by one.” His voice is so calm, monotone. My heart beats hard when he threatens my girls. I need Evan here. I’m always safe in his arms, in his presence, he’s always protected me.

  Several minutes pass and he hasn’t returned to the car. It’s so hard to breathe with this scratchy bag on my head. I must be lying in the floorboard of his car because I feel the seat when I move my hands. I fight the zip ties, but it only cuts into my skin with the resistance. I’m sweating and gasping for air realizing it’s so hot and he’d turned off the air.

  I’m panting when he gets into the car. “Please take the bag off of my head, I can’t breathe.” I beg, knowing that I’m going to suffocate.

  “Will you be a good girl?” he asks.

  “Yes, I promise.” I agree. I’ll do whatever it takes to keep my girls safe. I’m worried what it is I’ll have to do, though.

  The car continues moving at a steady pace and my body jumps when we hit a bump in the road. Being on the floor has me feeling everything. I assume I’m in the front floor board of the car. I’m worried that my girls are going to get hurt. The car begins to slow after a few minutes of driving. I think we’re driving over gravel from the continuous bumps I feel now. His hands first land on my ass then sliding under my top and leaving it there for a few seconds. Once he’s had his fill of groping me, he pulls me to a sitting position on the seat then pulls the scratchy bag off of my head. I gasp in a deep breath, grateful for the oxygen that’s now freely traveling to my lungs.

  “Be good, Abigale.” I hear from my left.

  “My wrists burn, Hollister. Please untie them.” I know I’m pushing my luck asking him to do this, but I’m in horrible pain. “Please,” I cry, tears streaming down my heated cheeks.

  His fist slams into the steering wheel. “You’re trying to leave me again.” His tone shakes me.

  I have to get him in a good place, I don’t know what he’s truly capable of. “No, I’m in pain. You’re hurting me, Hollister.” If I have any chance of escaping this has to happen. Risking a glance out the window, the suns glare finally settling behind a cloud, I see that we’re on the verge of the desert. I didn’t realize we’d been driving long enough to get this far out. “What are you going to do with me?” My eyes bounce around looking for anyone or anyway to escape. There’s nothing and no one to save me and my girls. I realize in this moment we really are in big trouble and it’s now a react or die situation.

  “If I untie you and you run, I’ll shoot you in your stomach. I’ll kill his spawn. I’ll kill them like I killed the last spawn you let him put inside of you.” My world shatters, I can’t breathe. I’m gasping for air but it’s not there. My body goes cold in the heat of the car with his revelation.

  “You?” I spit, still gasping.

  He laughs, “You gave me no choice, Abigale. I tried to take you from him. I tried to save you, but you laughed at my advances. You didn’t want anyone but him. I can’t let him win.”

  “You fucking hit me, Hollister?” I begin to yell realizing I’m never getting out of this restrained hold if I’m not very careful. “You hit me?” I continue in a softer tone stifling back the emotional desperation.

  His eyes are so dark. “I did what I had to do.” He smiles like he actually believes he was saving me. My body erupts into an uncontrollable sob of tears. This entire time I thought I could trust this man. My baby died because of him. He took my memory, and he took my life away. I was a prisoner in my own head for so long. I can’t control the tears or my trembling body. “It can all be different now, Abigale. You can be with me now. Evan can die and he’ll never hurt you again. Don’t you see?” His face comes close to mine initiating the vomit that’s about to rise.

  “Are you going to kill us?” I’m asking about my girls and Evan. I don’t give a shit about myself, but I have to live for them to survive. So I’ll fight any way I can.

  “If your good and do what I say, I’ll let you live.” He adjusts himself into his seat leaving me aware that this bastard holds our lives in his nasty hands. “Will you be a good girl, Abigale?”

  “Yes.” My head falls, the tears spilling out of the hope I once had but don’t anymore. “I’ll be good.” I agree to his terms.

  “Good, I’m not the bad guy here, Abigale. You’ll see.” His smile makes me want to punch him in the face.

  “Yeah.” I’m falling into his sick game. But again, don’t mistake my obedience for weakness.

  “That’s a good girl.” He leans into me wrapping his arm around my neck pulling my face to his. His tongue sweeps across my lips. “I can’t wait to feel you in every way, Abigale. You’ll never want to be with Evan again.” He laughs. “He won’t matter soon, though.” My stomach drops into the pit of hell.

  “What are you planning?” I boldly ask.

  “Tisk, tisk Abigale.” He shakes his head. “Not yet, I’ll surprise you.” He reaches under his seat bringing out a large knife sliding it across my jawline. I swallow hard as he grips my hair. I’d pulled my own hair out leaving it as a clue that I was in distress. My hair is thick and dark making the bald patch a little easier to conceal. I needed to do something dramatic that said ‘I’m in trouble.' I didn’t have a lot of time, only a few seconds to do it. After I’d rolled up my night gown and tucked it into the bathroom drawer I didn’t feel confident that it would be found, so that’s when the decision was made to go about things a little more dramatic.

  Hollister doesn’t know that I’ve done this, and I’m hoping that he doesn’t find out either. No telling what he’ll do. “You will be mine, Abigale. When we get to where we’re going, I’ll prove it to you.” He shoves my lifeless body forward tracing the knife against my skin until it finally meets my wrist. He hesitates. I pray, begging God to save us. “I think I’ll wait to until untie you.”

  I cry again holding my eyes closed tight as my head is sh
oved into the dashboard. “Please,” I beg.

  He doesn’t speak. We continue driving along the outer edge of the desert. A small building is ahead and the first one I’ve seen since he’d removed the bag from my head. It’s brown and weathered, from the three hundred yards it appears to be abandoned leaving all hope of another human anywhere close in smoke. My wrists continue burning behind me, and when one of the babies wakes up and begins kicking I instinctively attempt to move my arm, feeling sad that I can’t give them comfort from the mere touch to my stomach. The comfort is for me, really. I know they probably can’t feel me, but I can feel them.

  When the car slows, I tremble in my seat. “Are we stopping here?” I ask, my mouth so dry I can barely speak the words.

  Again he doesn’t answer me. He brings the car to a hard stop in front of the small abandoned building. There’s nothing for miles and miles. I’m sure we’re in Nevada, and Evan won’t be looking in the desert for me. He steps out of the car in the clothes that he’d changed into. Evans clothes. It kills me to see him wearing them. He’d bagged his close and threw them away before he’d taken me out of the hotel. The passenger door opens and Hollister reaches in grabbing my arms and pulls me out. “Over the threshold.” I cringe. He sweeps me into his arms and as he does my arms burn from the constriction the ties are causing. I cry out in pain.

  He walks us to the door, opening it with a key while still clutching me in his disgusting arms. “I’ll untie you,” his tone is soft this time. He kicks the door closed with his foot staring at me the entire way through the building. It seems larger inside than it had from the outside. I guess you can’t always judge a book by its cover. That’s very obvious looking at this lunatic. We enter a room in what I think is the back of the building. I’m horrified when I blink my eyes seeing the room that looks like a dungeon. My heart beats fast and hard. He sets me on a full size bed that’s made up with expensive bedding, the only nice thing in the room. “This is going to be our bed, Abigale.” I want to be killed now. Seeing the chains and other BDSM shit hanging on the walls terrifies me. “Don’t worry, that isn’t for you unless you want it to be.” He sees that my attention is locked on the windowless walls that hold the abusive objects. I shake my head in fierce movement. “Oh, that’s disappointing.” He stands, walking to one of the black object that looks similar to a horse whip.

  “My wrists?” I quickly breathe hoping to distract him. It doesn’t work as he continues walking in their direction, running his hands along the black leather. He wraps his finders around the object and brings it off of the wall. I begin to cry again. “Please, my wrists, Hollister,” I beg.

  My body has already been taken by one man against my will. I can’t bear to have that happen again. His approach is slow as he watches my reaction. His lips curve into a wicked smile. “When I fuck you you’ll never want me to stop, Abigale.” His hand takes my face bringing his mouth to mine sliding his tongue inside. He’s kissing me hard and I can only close my eyes. I don’t respond, but I have no way to fight back. Unless… “You fucking bitch!” He screams with blood dripping from his mouth.

  “I will never want you, Hollister. I will never want you to fuck me! I love Evan, and I will only ever love Evan.” His face is blank and I can’t read his next moves. I know that’s probably just gotten me killed, but I can’t let him touch me. I know that Evan wouldn’t ever consider being mad at me for acting only to save our babies, but I’m the one that has to live with myself. I can’t do that knowing someone other than my husband is touching me. He may force me, but I’ll never let him take me willingly.

  I see anger build in his face as I watch the muscle and veins pulse in his neck. This may be it. His fists tighten to his sides, but he doesn’t come at me. Instead he walks towards the door stepping out of the room closing it behind him. My hands are still tied, and I’m certain they’ll stay that way. For now, I’ll stay in the dark windowless room waiting for the opportunity to escape.

  “We’ll get everything we can on Hollister.” Detective Alverez offers, patting me on the shoulder as he leaves the hotel room. The detectives have been here for hours and yet nothing has changed. She’s still gone.

  I turn to Nat and Michael closing the door. “We’ll need a few things. Then we’ll get started,” I announce. I’m not sitting around for another second. The sun has gone down and she’s somewhere out there with him.

  Nat’s staring out of the window holding her arms tight to her chest. As I approach, Michael nods his head. He knows she’s taking this really hard. I think this whole thing is stirring up some dark memories for her. Shit that she’s packed deep, deep, down. Approaching her from the left, I follow her gaze out the window. “She’s alone, Evan.”

  “Yeah, I know.” My fists break free from my pockets and pound on the window. I scream louder than I’ve ever screamed before. I want the whole fucking world to hear me. I want everyone to know I’m coming for her, and if they’re responsible they’d better hide because they will be held accountable. The pain I’m feeling in my chest is heartache. “I promised her I’d keep her safe,” I admit. “I failed her.”

  “No, Brother. You didn’t fail her. We’ve failed her.” Nat’s words are harsh. “Now we’ll save her.” Her words falter. “She’s different than us. She loves with her whole heart. Doesn’t judge people and trusts too damn easily.” Definitely things that we aren’t accustomed to.

  “She was a target from the beginning.” I admit the dark secret that I’d known but was too selfish to admit out loud. Nat turns her attention onto me, recognizing my pain.

  “Why would he take her?” Michael asks, “What’s his motive?” He’s standing near the sofa cleaning his 9mm.

  I shake my head asking myself the very same question. What could he be wanting? “I wish I fucking knew.” My eyes close tightly.

  “I’m going to get some things together. Where’s the crate?” Nat asks leaving her place at the window. I tell her and she leaves the room.

  “Evan!” Nat screams from the room she’d gone into. “Evan!” she screams again as Michael and I both run to her in the adjacent room. She’s kneeling in front of the closet. Her body doesn’t move as we approach. “I found Brent.”

  “Oh fuck!” Michael hisses. “Oh fuck.” He drops to his knees. Brent was just a kid. No real experience, no life or family, just a kid that was bad ass with a gun.

  Michael had been in contact with Baldwin, Adam, and Skits. They’d been asking about Brent, but no one had seen him. I asked that they stay away until the police were gone. I didn’t think they needed to be in the middle of this kind of shit. The police swept the place for fingerprints but were very careful not to dig too deep. I imagine Thomas may have set them straight on that. I have a lot of shit that I’m not supposed to since leaving the ATF.

  “He killed him to get to Abby.” He’d kill to get to her? What else would he do? Fuck!

  “The blood, Evan. The blood, it’s all over the babies’ things,” Nat says and I think for the first time she’s in shock. I remember seeing Abby store some of the things she’d bought for the babies in here. I’ll have it all replaced. She’ll never need to know. I’ve never seen Nat like this, but she’d never had a sister before Abby.

  “I need to call the guys, they’re going to want in on this manhunt like yesterday. They’re waiting on any news, can I call them now?”

  I nod.

  Natalia stands closing the door to the lifeless body in the floor of the closet. She pulls her gun from her right thigh holster. “I’m gonna get ready to go.” She turns walking to the bag she’d brought with her. I watch, wondering if she should be going with us. She pulls a jacket and arm holster from her bag. Once the holster’s in place, she tucks her gun in and zips her jacket. She tucks her hair under a black hat and adjusts her tactical pants. “Stop fucking worrying about me,” she sneers. “I’m ready to kill a bitch, let’s roll.”

  “That’s what I’m talking about. Let’s get our girl back, baby!”
Michael chimes in cocking his gun.

  Someone bangs on the door sending Michael to answer it. “Hey, brother.” He offers a brotherly hug.

  “We’ve been outside waiting for five-o to leave.” Baldwin’s head hangs low. “Where is he?” His voice is flat.

  “I’m sorry, Baldwin,” I offer, knowing there’s nothing more I can do. He follows Michael and Nat to the room where Brent’s body was found. “Damn it, brother,” he says seeing Brent’s body. “He was just a kid.” He jams his hand into his hair. “He really wanted to protect her,” he speaks mostly to himself. I knew he had a crush on her, but he was a good dude. He never would’ve hurt her and clearly he’d chosen to die to protect her. I respect the hell out of Brent for that sacrifice. “What do you need from us?” He stands tall. The other guys stand around circling Baldwin with fierce glares on their faces.

  “We have to find this guy.” Nat pulls a few rolled up pieces of paper out of her back pocket. “Hollister.”

  “Yeah we’ve seen this guy, a lot.” The guys look at each other in some secret conversation.

  “He always seemed to show up,” Skits announces from my right. “I mean, I never thought anything about it.” He pauses. “She’d go for coffee and there he was. He was always there first so I didn’t think he was following her. She never… she never seemed to be upset by it so I just ignored it, shit! How did I miss that?” He realizes that he missed some serious shit. I don’t give him a hard time about it. My only focus right now is getting her back. Honestly, I should’ve seen it myself. I should’ve known he was crazy. I should’ve been there to protect her and our babies.

  Pulling my hummer out of the hotel parking garage, I search my rearview seeing Baldwin following behind in his jeep. This has been a nightmare since I’d approached the hotel door, and I’m fucking terrified that it’s not gonna get better anytime soon. All those times I watched as Hollister ogled Abby. Why didn’t I realize he was up to something? I was pissed about it, but honestly I thought he was just a douche. Maybe he wanted to get into her pants like the whore he is. He always had a twat on his arm. Always some bimbo that was dumber than shit. I imagined breaking his neck many times. Hell, I’m imagining it right now. I will.