My Beautiful

by J. M. La Rocca

  So, for two months, we recorded our music, fifteen new tracks including “My Beautiful”. When I played it for the boys, I could tell by the looks on their faces that they knew it would be a hit too. They also knew whom it was about and were smart enough to keep their fucking mouths shut.

  I put everything I had into that song when we recorded it. I wanted people to feel what I felt for Scarlett when they heard it.

  That was why I sent her the very first copy.

  I wanted her to hear and feel what I still felt. I knew it would confuse her and she would probably throw the damn thing away, but I wanted to be on her mind. It was a shitty thing to do, but I was an asshole, so there wasn’t anything I could do about that.

  Throwing my covers off, I got out of bed and headed toward the bathroom to take a shower. I couldn’t waste any more time thinking about the past; I had to meet Frank in an hour.

  I arrived at a private location in Northeast Los Angeles where Frank has a house we use for our meetings. Even though I wasn’t really in the public eye anymore and the paparazzi have given up on getting racy pictures of me, I still took every precaution necessary.

  The last eight months had been like living the life of someone I didn’t know. At first, it was easy. I already knew people I could connect with to deal out his merchandise of drugs; heroin, meth, cocaine; you name it, and he had it to sell.

  Since the record was done, I had nothing else to do with my time but learn the business from Frank. So, after the band was done recording our album, Frank decided that it was time for me to shadow him; to see what he had to deal with on a daily basis. This was something I could never prepare myself for. I had told Frank I didn’t want to be involved in any kind of trafficking, but that didn’t mean I wouldn’t learn the ins and outs of the business.

  Learning the business was all I ever did. I rarely talked to the band; we’d kept in touch, but Max was the one who called the most. He would call to check in on me and see how I was doing. We had always been close, and since he was the only one who knew about my past, he was the one that worried. He didn’t know exactly what was going on, but he knew that Frank was back in the picture.

  That’s what I’d been doing the past five months. I didn’t know how much more I could take. Apparently, in this business, having a conscience wasn’t recommended. It was the human trafficking I couldn’t wrap my mind around. These girls were used and abused before they were even transferred.

  Frank didn’t trust me with all the personal information. And that was the information I needed to take him down. He said he’d know when I was ready. I didn’t know what the fuck that meant, but I had a pretty good idea that he was waiting for me to show more initiative in the business. I did little jobs with Kevin; gathering up money and dealing out the drugs and guns, or whatever the dealer was paying for. Paul did most of the dirty work, the work Frank wanted me to do too.

  I turned down the road that led to Frank’s old Victorian house. It was located out in the middle of nowhere and it had the longest driveway I had ever seen. I didn’t complain though; I was the one who told him I wanted our relationship to be discreet. As I pulled up to the two-story house, I noticed how run down it was. The cream-colored paint was peeling and it was missing shutters. If I had to guess, I would say that Frank didn’t come out to this location very often.

  I parked my BMW next to Paul’s SUV. Frank didn’t mention Paul coming to our little meeting, so I wondered what I was walking into as I made my way into the house.

  “Ah, there you are. We were just talking about you,” Frank said as I walked into the office.

  I took a seat in one of the red leather chairs facing Frank’s desk while Paul sat in the other. They were both dressed and ready for business as usual. Frank was in his suit and Paul was in jeans, t-shirt and his leather jacket. It didn’t matter what the weather was like; he always wore that fucking jacket.

  “And what is it you were talking about, Frank?” I said, looking from Frank to Paul, who hadn’t even looked my way yet. From the look on his face, he was pissed about something.

  “We’re changing things up, Nick. From now on, you’ll be working with either me or Paul. It’s time you got your hands dirty.”

  I didn’t like the sound of that.

  Frank leaned back in his chair examining my facial expression. He knew it wasn’t something I wanted to do, but I kept my emotions locked in, like I had been from the beginning. I didn’t want anything that fucker could hang over my head; emotions had no place in this business.

  I stayed sitting back in my seat and tilted my head to the side, staring him down, waiting for him.

  “Well … what are we going to be doing?”

  Frank had that damn evil smirk on his face. The smirk he got every time he thought an idea of his was the best fucking thing he ever thought. “You’ll be going with Paul tonight,” he looked over at Paul who had a blank expression on his face, “to learn about what happens when people go back on their word.” He looked back at me. “You have your piece with you?”

  He was referring to my Berretta 92FS. He’d given it to me a couple months before, telling me that I’d need it. Then he asked me if I knew how to use it. I just smiled at him. I’d known how to shoot for years. Living out on your own at eighteen in the slums of LA, you needed protection.

  “Yeah.”

  “Good,” he said to me, and then looked over at Paul. “I expect results tonight. Don’t disappoint me.”

  “Are you still unpacking?” Jules asked from my doorway.

  I turned to look at her. Her long brown hair was up in a messy bun and she was drowning her petite figure in an oversized ratty t-shirt and her loose-fitted sweats that said juicy on the butt.

  “Yes,” I sighed, sitting on my bed. “I didn’t realize I had so much stuff while we were packing. Now, I’m trying to figure out where I’m going to put everything.” I looked around the room. I had stuff everywhere.

  She laughed, “Yeah, believe me, I understand. I’m just about done and wanted to tell you that Brent just texted me and said he and Dave are going to be here soon with pizza. So, come out for a break.”

  “Alright.” I smiled at her. “I’ll be out in a few.”

  “Okay,” she beamed. “I’m going to go change before they get here,” she said, as she walked out and headed to her room.

  I got up from the bed, walked over to my bedroom door and closed it.

  So much had changed in the past eight months.

  After everything happened with Kade, things went back to normal. Or, as normal as they were before. At work, I stayed away from Jess and she stayed away from Jules and me. I think that punch in the face taught her a lesson. It was amusing to Jules and I to see her walking around with make-up caked on her face, trying to cover up her bruised cheek. I did my best to stay busy at work so I wouldn’t run into her. It wasn’t easy, but seeing her every day just brought the pain of what happened to the surface again.

  When the holidays rolled around, Joan, Bryce’s mom, called me and asked if I would come to her house for Thanksgiving. We had kept in touch after my dad’s funeral and we tried to talk at least once a week, so I wasn’t surprised that she asked me. She had been hinting that she wanted to see me again in many of our phone conversations.

  I had told her I would only come if I was allowed to bring Jules, since I knew Bryce would be there too. However, if I had known Jules would push me onto Bryce, I wouldn’t have asked her to come with me. The whole purpose of me wanting her there was to make sure I was never alone with him. After the day Bryce showed up and kissed me, I felt a little weird being around him. But every chance Jules had to help Joan; she would insist on helping her and tell me to hang out with Bryce.

  She didn’t know the whole story, that he was working undercover in the Mob, the Mob that Kade was a part of.

  No matter how many times I told Jules to stop pushing me toward Bryce, she wouldn’t listen. She was determined to get me over Kade. She just didn
’t know that he was all I thought about when I was around Bryce.

  But the night after Thanksgiving, things went a little further than they should have.

  “So … since Jules is helping Mom out in the kitchen again, do you want to go for a walk? I don’t think I can take another Christmas movie or commercial on TV,” Bryce said as he turned toward me on the couch.

  I looked over at him and laughed. I agreed with him completely. Let us get over Thanksgiving before you start shoving the next holiday down our throats.

  I reached for the glass of water that was on the table. I brought it up to my lips and chugged it. I really shouldn’t have let the girls talk me into having that last margarita. It was definitely more tequila than anything else. I think they might have put a drop of margarita mix in it.

  “Where do you want to walk?”

  “I thought I’d take you to the backyard and show you where I used to hang out,” he said, smiling at me.

  He got up from the couch, grabbed the jacket he had laying on the back of it, and put it on.

  For only a brief moment, I had the feeling that this might be a bad idea. But instead of saying no, I said, “Okay, sure.”

  I slowly got up from the couch and headed toward the door. I was starting to feel the effects of all that tequila.

  “Do you need to put on a jacket?”

  “Nah, I’ll be fine.” I was wearing jeans and a thin tunic sweater with a tank-top underneath. It was the end of November, so it was chilly outside, but I didn’t think it was that bad. In the south, it didn’t get really cold until the end of December.

  When we walked outside, I stood there for a moment, took a deep breath and closed my eyes. I sighed as the chill of the air seeped into my sweater and chilled my skin. With all the tequila running through my veins, I felt like I was starting to sweat in the house.

  “Come on.”

  I opened my eyes as he nudged and walked past me, heading behind the house.

  I followed behind him, walking on the stone pathway. When we reached the backyard, I stopped and stared. The backyard was like a garden oasis illuminated by the moonlight.

  There was a large gazebo with wicker furniture perfectly placed underneath. To the left was a stone fire pit with logs for seats all around. Joan wasn’t kidding when she said she loved to spend quiet time in her backyard. I would love to have a backyard that looked like this one day. There were bushes and trees everywhere. I was sure during spring there would be flowers blooming everywhere.

  “This is Mom’s getaway,” Bryce said as he stood beside me.

  “It’s beautiful.”

  He laughed, “Yeah, she’s kind of obsessed with gardening. Instead of upgrading the kitchen a couple years ago, she decided to make over the backyard. She spends most of her time out here.”

  I smiled and looked at him. “I would too.”

  “Come on, I want to show you something.”

  I followed him as we walked past the gazebo to the back corner of the yard where a huge oak tree was. I looked around at the whole yard. I hadn’t realized it was so big.

  As we approached the old oak tree, I looked up to see a huge treehouse. I had never seen a treehouse like it before. It actually looked just like a house, only smaller. There was even a little window on one side and a railing that went all around it.

  “We aren’t going up there, are we?” I looked at him, my face filled with concern. There was no way we would both be able to go up there. I was sure the tree house was really old and could possibly have termites. Plus, I had been drinking; I would probably fall out of the tree.

  “Yeah,” he laughed. “I promise it’s safe and I won’t let you fall. You can climb up first and I’ll spot you.”

  I looked up at the pieces of wood that were nailed into the tree as makeshift stairs. “Are these even stable enough to climb on?” I walked up to one and pulled on it.

  “Yes, Scarlett, I promise. Now, start climbing.” He was being playfully bossy and it made me smile.

  I grabbed onto the wooden pieces, and slowly climbed.

  “When you get to the last one, grab onto the railing up there, and pull yourself up. I’m climbing up behind you.”

  I grabbed ahold of the railing and pulled myself up on the small deck that was built around the treehouse. I wasn’t afraid of heights, but after drinking so much, looking down to see how far I had to fall was bothersome.

  I carefully sidestepped into the walkway of the treehouse. It was dark and only a little bit of light shone through the two small windows, so I stayed where I was until Bryce finally made it up.

  “Hang on just a minute and let me light the lantern,” he said as he walked past me toward the corner of the room where a little table sat.

  “Did you know we’d be coming up here?” I asked as he lit the wick of the lantern.

  He turned toward me with a smile as the flame cast shadows on his face. “I knew I wanted to bring you up here, yes.”

  I watched as he walked toward me. These past two days had been hard being around him, but he was so appealing. His blond hair was a little longer and he wore it brushed to the side. I didn’t usually like that look on a man, but with the sharp masculine lines of his face, it looked really good. And he always wore shirts that accented his upper body. His muscles were definitely nice to look at.

  I found myself leaning up against the frame of the doorway, just looking him over. The tequila was throwing away all my inhibitions. It had been two months since I was with Kade intimately, and even though I shouldn’t, Bryce was looking more and more like a good idea.

  With the way he was looking at me, I had a feeling the same thoughts were going through his mind.

  When he reached the doorway, he broke his gaze and looked out into the night. “This is why I brought you up here.”

  I turned and looked out into the open night sky. The view from the treehouse was beautiful.

  Looking past the tree branches were miles of farmland, a full moon, and bright shining stars. I was in awe. I loved looking into the night sky. It brought me so much peace. When I was a teen, I could lie on a blanket at the park and just watch the night sky.

  How did he know?

  A chill ran through my body causing me to shudder.

  “You’re cold,” he stated.

  I was about to say no, when another chill ran through my body causing my lips to quiver. The tequila was no longer warming my veins.

  Bryce took his jacket off, and then pulled me away from the doorframe. After wrapping his jacket around my shoulders, he pulled me to his chest and starting rubbing up and down on my back. I closed my eyes and breathed him in deeply. He smelled so good and he was deliciously warm. I lifted my arms, wrapped them around his waist, and found myself rubbing my face all over his chest, blatantly smelling him.

  His hands slowed down on my back and gradually stopped. I pulled back and looked into his hooded eyes as he brought his hands to my waist and softly squeezed, pulling me closer.

  That was the moment I decided I was ready to feel again. I needed to feel again.

  As we looked into each other’s eyes, I lifted my arms to bring my hands behind his head. Slowly, I brought his mouth down to mine and closed my eyes.

  His lips were cold and soft. He slowly nibbled on my lower lip as he brought his hands up to my head. Running his hands through my hair, he gripped it into his fists making me gasp, sending a heat wave through my body.

  My mouth opened up to his and our tongues collided into a feverish kiss, like we’d been dying of thirst and would do anything to quench it.

  Letting go of my hair, his hands traveled down my body and gripped my waist. He moved me away from the doorway and walked me backwards until something hit the back of my legs.

  Breaking the kiss, I turned to see that there was a small cot in the treehouse. It was layered with blankets, and for a split second the idea that he knew something would happen tonight ran through my mind, but immediately disappeared as his lips c
onnected with my neck, kissing, licking, and sucking. I couldn’t contain the moans from my throat.

  He lowered us to the cot and we maneuvered ourselves to fit the small area. My back was up against the wooden wall while Bryce was halfway lying on top of me with one of his legs in between mine. He spread kisses all along my neck down to my collarbone while my hands fisted his hair.

  Lifting his head to look at me, I could see the want in his eyes. I could tell he was looking at me, waiting for permission to continue. I pulled his head down until our lips connected once again, letting the kiss answer his unasked question.

  Holding himself up on his side with his left arm, he ran his right hand under my shirt up to my breast. I moaned into his mouth as he made circles with his finger against my hardened nipple from the outside of my bra.

  Breaking the kiss, he gazed at me as he pulled my sweater up, exposing my bra. I was breathing heavily as he trailed a finger over the curves of my breast. Gently, he pulled each cup of my bra down and looked down at my hard nipples. With a sexy grin, he looked at me before he lowered his head and took a nipple into his mouth while he pinched the other one.

  I bit my lip trying to contain the moans that were escaping, while my hands in his hair pulled him closer to try to give him more. He groaned and gently nibbled my nipple, making me rock my hips against his leg.

  I was so turned on I could feel my sex clenching … waiting … needing some relief.

  Pulling away from my nipple, Bryce brought his lips back to mine to devour me once again as his hand trailed down my stomach, finding the button of my jeans. I lifted my hips to his, urging him on. With the button undone, he unzipped my jeans, and wasted no time sliding his hand down to my folds.

  “Fuck, you’re so wet,” he groaned as he broke our kiss.

  He slid two of his fingers down my sex to rub against my clit. I moaned and rocked my hips up against his fingers, never breaking our eye contact. He watched my every emotion as he inserted two fingers and rubbed his palm against my clit. I had one hand fisted in his hair and the other on his arm, forcing him to go faster.