My Beautiful

by J. M. La Rocca

  “I know.” I waited a minute before I started again. “So … the other thing I wanted to tell you about is Bryce. I know how much you like Bryce and how you were hoping something would happen between us, but the truth is I would have never been able to do it. Not only is he legally my step-brother, I would never be able to look at him without thinking about Kade, since Kade’s the reason I met Bryce in the first place.”

  She frowned at me. I knew she would.

  “What do you mean?”

  “You have to promise, Jules, that you won’t say anything.”

  She sat up in bed. “I promise.”

  “I mean it,” I said, sitting up with her.

  “I won’t. I promise. Now spit it out already.”

  “Bryce is an undercover agent with the FBI.”

  Jules looked at me like I’d lost my mind. “You’re shitting me.”

  “No,” I laughed. “I found out when I went to Alabama for Dad’s funeral. He’s working undercover pretending to be this big bad mob guy, but really, he’s trying to find a way to shut Kade’s uncle’s operation down.”

  “I don’t like anything that you are telling me, Letti. This all seems like some kind of movie or something. And in movies, the girls always get the shit end of the stick. And not only that, there’s danger involved.”

  I could see the concern on her face. I knew she would feel this way. Deep down, I should have the fears that she did, but for some reason, I didn’t. I knew Kade wouldn’t put me in harm’s way. I believed that he and Bryce would make sure nothing happened to me.

  “Maybe that’s true, but the good guy always wins too, right?” I sighed. “Look, I know you’re concerned. I might actually start thinking logically after this happiness wears off, but right now, I’m just happy to have him back. And we’re going to keep it secret until he can figure things out with his uncle. That way, we won’t have anything to worry about. “

  “I’m happy for you, Letti, I am … it just freaks me out. Who’s to say they don’t monitor Kade’s every move. They are bound to know that he is seeing you again, eventually. And how long are you supposed to keep this relationship secret?”

  I didn’t know what to say to that. I knew she was right. The truth was I didn’t know how long we’d have to keep it secret. The thought never even occurred to me. I didn’t want to think about it. The smile I had on my face had officially disappeared.

  “Okay, let’s change the subject. I want to tell you my news,” she said smiling.

  I was glad she changed the subject. My mind was starting to wander to the ‘what ifs’, and I didn’t want to go there. I would file it for later and talk to Kade about it. He said he needed to talk about some things anyway, so I would bring it up then.

  “Last night when we got to Brent’s, he told me he wanted to talk to me. And I’m sure you could imagine what was going through my mind. All I could think about was that he was going to tell me that he found somebody else and that he didn’t want me anymore. I literally broke down and bawled like a baby, Letti. Snot and everything. He sat with me and rocked me until I calmed down, and then asked me why I was so upset. I figured I had nothing to lose, so I asked him if he had found somebody else. Do you know what he said to me, Letti?” I shook my head no. Obviously, I didn’t know. “He pulled back and looked into my eyes and said, ‘Now, why would I want somebody else when I have you. I love you.’” Jules developed a big smile on her face. I could see the tears forming in her eyes. “I bawled again. I couldn’t help it. It was one of those ugly cries you hope nobody ever sees. All this time, I thought he was just in it for a good time, but he loves me, Letti; I can’t even describe how it makes me feel.” She was silent for a moment as she looked me over. “I know you probably feel the same way with Kade, don’t you?”

  I nodded. My eyes hazed over with tears. I was so happy for her. Reaching up, I wrapped her in a hug. “I’m so happy for you, Jules.” I pulled back and smiled. “I knew he had feelings for you. He’d be stupid if he didn’t.”

  She wiped the tears from her eyes and laughed, “Yeah, he would be stupid.”

  I was quiet for a moment as I thought over everything that happened. “So, what do we do now?”

  She tilted her head and looked at me in wonder.

  “We just had our guys profess their undying love for us. Yours more than mine,” I laughed. “And here we are crying over it. Tonight is definitely ice cream and movie night. I’ll even let you choose since your news was more exciting than mine,” I smiled at her.

  After Jules cleaned up her face, she headed into the living room to pick out a movie, while I got the ice cream. We spent the rest of the day watching movies and eating junk food. Laundry would have to wait for another day.

  I couldn’t get her out of my head. Not even during sleep. I woke up with a massive hard-on after having dreamed of Scarlett all night. I closed my eyes and jacked-off to images of her sexy as hell body, just to alleviate the pain that had built up overnight.

  I still couldn’t believe she forgave me so quickly. After all the heartache I put her through, I would have thought she’d tell me to fuck off. In no way, did I think she would actually kiss me and take charge. It was the sexiest fucking thing I had ever seen, and if I didn’t stop thinking about it, I was bound to get hard again.

  After spending half the morning in bed, I decided to head to my office. Sitting at my desk, I leaned back in my chair and turned so I could see out the window into my backyard. It was so peaceful out there. I had a ranch-style home of five acres, with trees spread throughout the property and a pond further in the back.

  I could imagine Scarlett there, walking in the yard out to the pond to feed the swans, without a care in the world. I planned on making that daydream a reality. But for the time being, she was my inspiration to write more music.

  I sat with a pad and pen writing song lyrics. It had been months since I last wrote a song, and I had missed my music more than I thought I would. I was glad that the guys still got together to practice and planned out new songs even though I wasn’t there. At least, they didn’t have to suffer because of my actions.

  For the next hour, I wrote music. Anything and everything that came to mind I wrote out. Most times, when I wrote music, I would write little phrases and come back to them later if I didn’t have enough inspiration, but not at that moment. Scarlett gave me all the inspiration I needed. I knocked out five songs in under an hour.

  I was hoping to get another hour of writing in, but was interrupted by my phone. I picked it up to see Kevin was calling me.

  Shit. I had forgotten he said he was going to call me.

  “Hello?”

  “Hey, what are you doing today? Are you busy?”

  “Nah, man, just writing some music. What ya got?”

  “We need to get together and talk. I’d rather not do it over the phone.”

  “You want to meet somewhere?”

  “No … I can meet you at your place. Less ears. I’m already on that side of town anyway.”

  “Alright sounds good. Just buzz the gate and I’ll let you in.”

  “See you in fifteen.”

  After everything that happened with Scarlett yesterday, the whole situation with Kevin completely slipped my mind. I still had questions that needed to be answered. So before he showed up, I wanted to look him up.

  Flipping my laptop open, I clicked the search engine and entered Bryce Daniels. Nothing referencing to Kevin pulled up. No pictures. No social media. Nothing. I tried again, but this time I put Bryce Daniels FBI agent. I was thinking there had to be something with his name attached to it. I was wrong. Nothing pulled up. Either the government was really good at their job, or something wasn’t right. All I knew was, I had to be consistent in calling him Kevin, so I wasn’t going to be calling him Bryce. I didn’t want to accidently call him Bryce in front of Frank or Paul.

  Fifteen or so minutes later, I received the call to buzz him in.

  I straightened up my de
sk and closed my laptop before heading to the door. He stood there, business as usual in jeans and a t-shirt. I smirked as I saw the bruise I left on his face. I motioned him in, leaving him to close the door. He’d been there many times before so I didn’t have to direct him on where I was going.

  I walked back into my office and took a seat behind my desk as he strode in and took a seat.

  We were quiet for a moment as we looked each other over. I wanted to get straight to the point so I was the one that spoke first. “Let’s not beat around the bush. What is it that you’re wanting me to do?”

  “Like I said before, I need physical proof of Frank’s business ventures,” he said casually as he slouched down in the chair with his legs spread apart. Apparently, this was supposed to be a relaxing conversation.

  “Yeah, well, explain to me exactly how you think I’ll get that information and how I’ll get away with obtaining it without getting caught.”

  He pursed his lips as if to mull over what I had just asked. If he didn’t know how I would obtain the information then we were in exactly the same position I found myself in two days ago. Nowhere close to getting out.

  “You know that Frank wants me to take over for him. I’ve been doing my best to … fit in. I’m not like Paul, so going on these outings with him haven’t been the best with showcasing my abilities. But he seems pleased with my progress and wants me to start learning the backside of the business.”

  Kevin sat up in the seat. I had a feeling that would get his attention. “That’s good. Then we have something to go on. I’ve been working this deal for two years. I’m ready to bring it to a close.” He gestured with his hands as if he was fed up.

  I rested my elbows on the arms of my chair and had my hands up by my face, bouncing the pads of my fingers together in thought. I couldn’t do anything until he earned my trust somehow. This situation was too dangerous to just believe he was who he said he was. I needed something to go on, and my small attempt at research was a bust. “I need you to tell me who you are, Bryce. I can’t do any of this with you without some kind of trust. You’ve been lying to me from the beginning which doesn’t make my insides all warm and fuzzy. I need to know that if we come up with a plan, I won’t get fucked. And explain to me why I can’t find anything about you on the internet?”

  A puzzled look appeared on his face as I changed the subject, but then a smile crept up. “I wouldn’t expect you to trust me right away, Kade. If you would have, I’d have been surprised. There is no need to fear my loyalty in getting this job done. Obviously, it’s been my main goal for two years, which I mentioned twice now. You can’t pull information on me on the internet because it’s all been removed. When you do an undercover job all avenues are covered. Nothing is left to chance. If it would make you feel better, I could call my boss and let you talk to him so you feel more … secure.”

  He was being a dick, but at the moment, I didn’t care if he could give me some reason to trust him. “Do it.”

  “Now?”

  Is he kidding me? “Yes, now, it was your suggestion so do it; I don’t have all day. I want to get this sorted out. I’ve got other shit to do today.” Like trying to figure out when I was going to be able to see Scarlett again.

  He looked at me blankly for a moment, then pulled his phone out of his pocket, pressed a few buttons, and held it up to his ear.

  It must have rung a couple of times before someone finally picked up.

  “Hey boss.”

  I studied his demeanor as he spoke.

  “I know. I apologize. I’m sitting here with Kade Evans. He wants you to verify that I’m working this job.”

  “Yeah, hang on just a sec. I’ll give him the phone.”

  He stood up and walked to the desk and handed me the phone.

  “This is Kade.”

  “Kade … it’s nice to finally speak with you. Bryce has been keeping us posted of the goings on around there. Do you think you’ll be able to help us out?”

  “Who am I speaking with?”

  “I’m sorry, son, this is Marcus Duncan … head of the department. Bryce says you want some verification.”

  “Yes, that would be the purpose of the call and you are the head of what department.”

  The phone got muffled as if he put his hand over the receiver. I could barely make out people talking, and then I heard him clear his throat. “I’m the head of the bureau son. I’m either called chief or boss. I’m not exactly sure what kind of proof you are looking for other than me telling you that Bryce has been working on this … case … for two years. It needs to be … resolved. Nothing would make me happier than to get the information we need to finally take Frank down.”

  I wasn’t sure exactly what kind of proof I was looking for either. With him making the move to call his boss, like he said he would, seemed like adequate proof to me. I was still wary, but at least he did what I asked him to. And Marcus seemed to want this done more than I did. “That seems good to me. Bryce and I are actually discussing what needs to be done. I’ll let you talk to him.”

  I looked at Kevin who had a smirk on his face. He leaned up and grabbed the phone from my outstretched hand. “Yeah, boss? … You got it. I’ll keep you posted.” He hung up the phone and adjusted himself in the chair, getting comfortable again. “So, where were we?” He paused for a moment. “So Frank wants you to learn the backside of the business. Did he explain to you what that means?”

  I had to think about that. I didn’t remember him going into too much detail about it, but he did explain. So I nodded my head.

  “That’s good. You also have to know that not every one of his businesses has a back to it. Some businesses are merely for show−”

  “That’s great, Kevin, but I don’t need a history lesson on the business or how it’s run. We need to discuss what the fuck I’m supposed to do to get what you need.”

  He didn’t seem very pleased that I cut him off, but I really didn’t give a fuck. It made me nervous just talking about it. I was ready to get this over with, so I could focus on what I needed to do.

  “You’ve got to get Frank’s files. Somehow, you have to get in his good graces and gain access to his files. That’s the only way we’ll be able to do what we need to do. We’ve got to have tangible evidence. Something we can put our hands on,” he said as he rubbed his fingers together.

  I ran my hands through my hair and turned to look out the window, my serenity, and thought about Scarlett. I needed a distraction at the moment. It felt like I was on a suicide mission. Then thoughts of something happening to her popped into my head. I shut my eyes and cursed myself. I should have just let her be until I was done doing what needed to be done. Now her safety would always be on my mind because of my fucked-up actions.

  I swiveled my chair back to face Kevin. “You need to stay away from Scarlett. I won’t let her get mixed up in this shit, and I don’t need anyone knowing she has any kind of connection to us. Especially Frank and Paul.”

  He shook his head and laughed. “Kade, I’m not going to stop what I’m doing. I know how to be discreet. It’s part of my job. The only person you need to be concerned with is you. I’ll keep an eye on Scarlett and make sure nothing happens to her.”

  “The fuck you will,” I said, pounding my hand on the desk. “She’s not yours to look after. I’m not sure what sick little thing you have going on in your head, but she’s mine and I’ll be looking after her.”

  He chuckled and slapped his knee as he stood up. “Alright, well, I’m going to hit the road. I’ve got some errands to run for Frank. I’m tired of picking up his fucking dry cleaning,” he said, shaking his head, totally dismissing what I had said. He walked to the door and paused to look at me before he exited. “I’ll call you sometime this week, Kade, see how things are going. Hopefully, this trust thing works faster between you and Frank so we can get on with our fucking lives.” He turned and walked out the door, leaving me to process everything.

  I swiveled my cha
ir to look out the window again. How the fuck was I going to do this?

  After ten minutes of staring out the window, I heard my phone ring. I reached over to grab it and noticed Frank was calling me. “Hello.”

  “Be at the barn on Twenty at nine tonight. It’s time you see how I take care of business,” he said gruffly, then he was off the line.

  I pulled the phone down from my ear and stared at it. I knew what barn he was talking about. Paul had told me about it the week we did random jobs. It’s the only place Frank took people he needed to ‘deal’ with. The same place Paul liked to torture.

  I put my phone down and rubbed my hands up and down my face.

  I guess now I’ll see what I’m really getting into.

  I spent the rest of the day in my office trying to write more music. It wasn’t easy with ideas of what might happen that evening going through my head. I also got a text from Paul telling me about a job that needed to be handled tomorrow night, so I had that to look forward to.

  Not feeling any more inspiration, I dropped my pen on the desk and headed toward the kitchen. I needed to eat before I did anything else. I had taken a steak out earlier so I got it ready to cook.

  As I headed outside to get the grill started, I sent Scarlett a text.

  Kade: Hey beautiful.

  Scarlett: Hey you!! Whatcha doin’?

  Kade: Nothing much, about to grill some steak. I’ve been writing some music today.

  Scarlett: Yay, anything good? ;)

  Kade: You’ll just have to wait and see, won’t you?

  Scarlett: Tease.

  Kade: I’ll show you a tease later. ;)

  Scarlett: :) bring it! lol

  Kade: lol

  Kade: I have some stuff to do tonight, but can I text you later, maybe stop by?

  Scarlett: I’d love that, just text me.