Perfectly Loved

by Lacey Silks

  “Prove what?”

  “That if you focus on a goal hard enough, you’ll eventually reach it.”

  “Dave…”

  “That’s all I’ll say. Stay safe. And call me when you get home.”

  “Okay,” I whispered.

  I couldn’t get another word out. It was too much. He was asking for way more than I was ever going to be ready to offer. After a quick peck on the cheek, which caused Dave to get hard again, I got in my car and drove away.

  I was so lost in my thoughts that when I parked my car in front of my apartment, I almost didn’t notice a familiar man leaning against the light pole. He stood across the street with the kind of smirk on his face that twisted my stomach into knots. Memories of running away from him flooded me, and I felt my knees weaken. That night, fearing for my life, I had run as fast as my legs would take me, and it wasn’t fast enough. And watching me now, he knew exactly what I was thinking. He knew that I was on that same path I had been on eight years ago; and again at the beginning of this year, when everything fell apart. God, how I hated him! He ruined everything.

  The way I saw it, at this moment, I had two choices. I could call Dave and ask him to get me, though given his conversation today with Gwen, that wouldn’t be the best idea in the world; or I could leave and never look back. I could just go, get a new start, and leave this city behind. But could I really do that? Everyone I loved was here. They’d hurt. My best friend would never forgive me, and Parker… No, I wouldn’t be a coward, but I couldn’t face Mark Savage just yet. There had to be another way to get away from him and figure out the next step.

  I had to leave, and it had to be now. I rushed to my apartment, grabbed a duffle bag of spare clothes, a sleeping bag, my phone charger, and a few granola bars, as well as that brown bag stashed in the nook of my closet, and jumped back in my car. Savage was gone by the time I came outside. I turned on the ignition, somewhat grateful that Justin had filled the tank, and headed back toward the most intriguing place I’d seen this morning: the beat up shack of a house we’d visited earlier in the day.

  Chapter 8

  Dave

  Eleven years earlier

  Commotion brewed outside my chemistry class window, which faced the street. Hearing a familiar voice, I peeked out. Millie stood off school property, way too close to none other than Mark Savage. The threats from the Savages had come a couple of weeks after we’d adopted Millie — pretty much the moment they hadn’t gotten their next check for her “care.” The assholes hadn’t even noticed that Millie had been living elsewhere, and had apparently forgotten about the phone call from the principal about Millie’s cigarettes as soon as they hung up. The Savages didn’t care about anything until it hit them in the pocket and the money that was rightfully supposed to aid Millie was no longer theirs. My dad had also made sure that they lost their fostering privileges, which really pushed them over the edge.

  But we weren’t afraid. It would take a lot more than a few threats to break this family apart.

  Unfortunately, the Savages wouldn’t give up so easily — at least not the oldest brother, Mark. It had been a couple of months since he’d taunted Millie, but with spring well near its end, he was worm enough to crawl out of the stinking hole he called a house to have another run at her.

  What the hell is he doing here?

  Mark had graduated two years ago and was the oldest of the Savage clan – and also the scummiest. Laurie was there, along with a few other girls, smirking. I shook my head, wondering what had happened in that girl’s life to make her become so heartless.

  “Come on, Carlton. Hand it over.” Mark Savage stretched his hand out. “I know you have it and it’s worth a lot.”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Millie replied.

  “Mr. Mayers, are you paying attention?” my teacher asked, drawing my gaze to front of the class.

  “Ahm, no. I’m sorry. May I be excused, please?”

  Mr. Leonard nodded, and I rushed out of the class, running down the steps and through the halls, wondering why Millie would have gone off school property – where Savage technically couldn’t enter. As I ran out the school door, I heard the commotion get louder, and by the time I reached Mille, I saw that her sleeve had been ripped. With fear-filled eyes, she stood her ground.

  “Get the hell away from her,” I growled at Savage before turning to Millie. “Did he hurt you?”

  She shook her head.

  “Oh, look – big brother who’s screwing his sister has come to the rescue.”

  Around us, a few more people from school had gathered, including the smirking, vengeful Laurie. I had a feeling she’d dipped her fingers in drawing Millie off school property just before Savage showed up.

  “Fuck you!” Millie screamed. I sort of expected her to tell him that we weren’t screwing, but she didn’t.

  “Hand it over, Carlton.”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Millie crossed her arms over her chest.

  “I saw you hide it when you were still with us. You stole it from us. My mother had matching earrings, and they got us some big bucks when we sold them.” He reached out his hand, waiting.

  “I didn’t take it from you! It belongs to me, you douche.”

  Was he talking about her necklace? It was the only thing of value that Millie owned. And if so, then Savage had no rightful ownership of it.

  “I told you once and I’m not going to say it again – leave her alone, Savage.”

  Despite the fact that he was older and was trying to give off a bad-boy persona with his tattoos and looped ears, Savage was much shorter than me. He could probably fight better than average, only because he’d been in so many fights, but I worked out with my brother every day, and my strength alone could easily force him to the ground.

  “One day she’s going to stop hiding under your skirt, Mayer, and I’ll be there.”

  “And one day you’ll grow a dick, too.” Millie spat to the side.

  Don’t taunt him.

  “But if there’s justice in this world, it will be tiny. Tiny Mark. That sounds about right,” she added.

  Mark took a step closer, and Millie backed away. I squared my shoulders and shielded her with my body.

  “Come here and I’ll shove that dick down your puny throat. Wanna test your gag reflex?” His threat solidified in his eyes, the promise growing more prominent in the hardening lines of his face. I had a bad feeling about this, but it was too late to just walk away. We’d have to settle this right here, once and for all. Millie trembled beside me, the shakes vibrating off her body and curling through mine. It lasted a second, but it was enough to catch my attention. Still, she stood in that same spot, not moving.

  “You get within a foot of her, and you’ll be sorry.” I stepped in front of her, now completely covering her body with mine. “Walk away, Savage. Before I make you.”

  A police cruiser pulled up to the curb. Someone from school must have called the cops.

  Maybe if I was a cop, I could protect her better.

  “See you soon, Carlton. Real soon,” Savage fled like the rat he was, but I had a sick feeling that it would take a lot more than a few threats to stop him.

  The crowd dissipated, and I was left alone with Millie.

  “Why are you off the property?” I asked.

  “Because that bitch took my necklace.” Millie’s gaze focused on the ever-smirking Laurie who was leaning against the school wall.

  “How? You never remove it.”

  “She ripped it off.”

  Ever since I rejected Laurie, she’d had it in for me, but being pinned against the wall by a girl you felt nothing for wasn’t my kind of thing. Being an honor roll student didn’t stop her from writing her phone number on the inside of every bathroom stall. And now it looked like Millie had become her favorite target.

  “Well, let’s get it back then,” I said.

  “Wait, I can do this.”

  Millie
walked over and reached her hand out, “Are you happy now? Hand it over, Laurie. It doesn’t belong to you.”

  Knowing Millie didn’t want me to interfere, I followed her quietly but threw Laurie a warning look.

  “It was just a joke, Carlton.” She reached into her pocket and returned Millie’s only family artifact.

  “And stop calling me, Carlton. My name is Millie. If you don’t like it, don’t talk to me at all.”

  “What-ev.” Laurie spun on her heal and left.

  “Maybe you should leave it at home?”

  “I think I may.” She smiled. She always did whenever I said the word home. “Aren’t you supposed to be in class?”

  “Yes.”

  “Then go.” She bumped the side of my arm.

  “Will I see you after school?”

  “I’m working. I’ll drive home with your dad.”

  “Okay, then, I’ll see you for dinner.”

  “See you.” She started walking away, but then she turned and gave me the most heart-warming smile. My knees buckled and my heart hammered in my chest. I wanted to take it for what it was – just a smile – but somehow I felt light on my feet and got the impression it meant more than is should have. “And Dave. Thank you. I mean it.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  The way she looked at me at that moment, I knew that the past seven months at our house, pretending that nothing was happening between us, dismissing the energy I felt when she was in the room, ignoring the sizzling connection I felt to this girl — they were all a lie. My restraint had been tested over and over again. No matter how much respect I held for my family and for Millie, I couldn’t stop thinking about her in ways very different from what you were supposed to feel for an adopted sister.

  How long would it be until my self-control snapped? Each time I looked at her, I felt the blood drain from my head and fill my dick. Eating dinner each evening at the family table with a hard-on was becoming uncomfortable. Fearing I’d explode each time Millie licked her fingers from the saucy chicken wings or wiped the cream from a custard off her mouth, I’d sneak into the bathroom halfway through to jerk off. It took no longer than two minutes to empty myself. But as soon as I finished, the fill-up routine would start all over again.

  Now, looking at her walk away, her beautiful pear shape so prominent, I knew I could no longer deny how much she affected me. I owed it to us both to tell her how I felt, and if I had it right, I was sure she’d noticed the growing attraction between us as well.

  As soon as Millie turned the corner, my gaze flew to the tree Savage was leaning against. His gaze was fixed on Millie. The devious smirk on his face pushed me over the edge. I was ready to snap.

  The police officer was parked at the front of the school entrance. Acutely aware that we were being watched, I strolled toward Savage.

  “I thought I told you to stay away from her.”

  “Hey, I’m just a citizen enjoying the day.” He raised his dirty hands up in the air.

  “Enjoy it elsewhere.”

  “You’ve got nothing on me, Mayers, and if I want to walk behind her after school, or watch her change in her bedroom window, then I will.”

  “What the fuck did you just say?”

  “Oh, come on. I saw the way you were looking at her. Admit it – you’d fuck her too if she let you.”

  “She’s not a piece of meat, Savage. I’m warning you for the last time: keep your distance.”

  “Well, if you won’t fuck her, then I will.”

  I charged at him like a raging bull and grasped his shirt underneath his neck, lifting him up a bit against that tree. My face was in his, our noses almost touching. His breath stank of cigarettes and fish, but it would take a lot more to stop me from destroying him than his petty threats.

  “You fucking touch her and I’ll rip off those marbles under your dick and stuff them down your throat.”

  He swung his arm, right to my temple. My ears filled with a ringing sound and before I knew it, we were both on the ground, throwing punches, each one connecting with our faces. It was just me and my fists, concentrating on striking Savage over and over again. Somewhere in the distance I heard a deep voice vibrating through the air. They were yelling at us to stop, but I didn’t want to. I wanted to permanently engrave this moment into Savage. This was what happened when he fucked with my family. I straddled him from above, hitting his face, slowly feeling my knuckles ache and swell, but I wouldn’t stop until he passed out. Blood spewed and bones cracked; I wasn’t sure whether they were ones in my fists or in his face. I’d never been this brutal before, but with Savage, especially when he threatened Millie, I had no control.

  Brute force pulled me back and off him. I kept swinging my bloody arms until they were twisted back and cuffed, and only then did I notice that a second officer had turned Savage around and restrained his wrists as well. He spat blood, along with a few teeth. His cheek was cut and left eye almost swollen shut. I couldn’t imagine that I looked any better.

  The officer read me my rights and pushed me into the back of a cruiser before taking me to the station. My father showed up an hour later. I heard him discussing the fight before I saw him. Savage was screaming for a lawyer from another cell, and I was grateful that I couldn’t see him. If I had a choice, I’d never have to look at that bastard again. It felt like hours had passed before my father’s face appeared behind the bars.

  “Hi, Dad. I’m…”

  “Don’t apologize now, Dave. I’m sure there was a good reason why you did what you did, but if you really want to make a difference, you’ll find a way to do so legally.”

  “But he was…”

  “I said legally, Dave. You’ll find a way if you really want to.”

  “What happens now?”

  “We go home.”

  “Just like that?”

  He shook his head, the expression of disappointment covering his entire face — it was one I’d remember for the rest of my life.

  “And Savage?”

  “He’s not pressing charges.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because if he does, he knows his entire life will be exposed in front of the judge, and the things he’s got going on over there would get him in deeper trouble than what happened between you two.”

  Maybe I should take this to court, then.

  “Don’t get any ideas, son. Finish school first and then think about how you want to save the world and the woman you love.” He gave me a knowing look and my cheeks heated. I didn’t love Millie, did I? We hadn’t even gone out. We’d barely kissed, and she’d made it pretty clear that there could be nothing between us — ever.

  My brother, April, and Millie were waiting in the kitchen when we got home. After we’d exchanged a few words and April had cleaned up the wound over my brow, with Millie’s help, we had a quiet dinner, and for a moment, I could pretend that life would continue as usual. Once the dishes were cleared and my brother had loaded the dishwasher, for the first time since my return I looked in the mirror.

  “He really did a number on you,” Justin said, leaning against the kitchen counter.

  “You should have seen his face.” I massaged my bruised knuckles before reaching for a pack of frozen corn.

  “You should go to the hospital,” remarked Millie, as she took a cloth and wiped the crusted blood below my ear. Her fingers touched my skin, and I stiffened.

  “Does it hurt?” she asked.

  “No, it’s just… Give it to me, I’ll do it.” I circled the table to the other side, away from her. How could I tell her that her mere proximity was affecting me and was giving me another hard-on? I couldn’t let her touch me. If she did, I’d have a guaranteed boner in less than a minute. She looked at me funny and I added, “Don’t worry, he didn’t break anything.”

  Justin dried his hands and left, and April did the same. My father was in his office finishing paperwork. Millie sighed from across the kitchen.

  “Dave, why did you do it?
”

  “Because I had to. You should have heard the things he was saying.”

  “You got hurt because of me.” She lowered her head.

  Every muscle in my body felt like it had been ripped away from the bone and was trying to reattach.

  “It’s not because of you, Millie.” I went back around the table to stand in front of her. I’d do anything to erase that sadness from her face.

  She finally lifted her head and looked at me with tear-filled eyes. “You can’t ruin your life on my account. Please promise me that.”

  Jesus, did she have any idea what she did to me when she looked up with those doe eyes?

  “If you want to get to Savage, find another way. Now, will you please let me wash that blood off you?”

  “I can do it.”

  “I know you can. But I’m asking you to let me.” Her voice was soft and very different than usual. It was as if she were trying to communicate something to me. Millie took a fresh cloth, dabbed it in water, and pulled it along my jaw line, where apparently I’d missed a few spots. Feeling her soothing fingers brush my skin, I closed my eyes. The darkness felt good, or maybe I was just tired from the fight and a day full of emotions.

  “You know, sometimes I wish we weren’t living together. I wish I knew you differently.”

  If it weren’t Millie cleaning my face, I’d have probably fallen asleep from the fatigue that was beginning to take over. Where was that soft voice coming from?

  “Why?”

  “Because if we were together, then no one could accuse me of sleeping with my brother.”

  A sharp breath stung my lungs as my eyes flew open.

  “Millie, what are you saying?”

  “That I wish I wasn’t so much trouble. I wish I had my own place, my own family. Not that I don’t appreciate yours, I do, but then we could be more… normal.”

  “Well, my definition of family includes you.”

  “That’s my point, Dave. Family members don’t usually have all these feelings that I’m having for you.”

  “You have feelings for me?”

  She rolled her eyes. “Dave, did you just return from Mars?”