by Diana Bold
He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, wishing it were that simple. He suddenly wanted to confide in her, ask her what Vanessa had told her, but he forced himself to keep the words locked away, as usual. Angry as he was at his future bride, he knew how much she’d grown to depend on Fiona’s friendship, how much both women needed each other, and didn’t want to say anything to jeopardize that.
“She loves that boy,” he said instead. “I think we can give him a good home.” That much at least was true.
“Of course you will,” Fiona told him warmly. “You’ll be a wonderful father, Adrian. I’ve always thought so.”
Her words made him suddenly imagine Vanessa holding a child, their child, a lovely little girl with her dark eyes and dimples. The thought was so beautiful he could barely stand it.
“Let’s go get Gabriel, shall we?” he told his old friend. “I think he’ll be very happy to know Vanessa will be his mother in truth from now on.”
Chapter Fourteen
The morning of Vanessa’s wedding dawned cold and gloomy, the dreary gray sky matching her mood perfectly. Though she’d tried repeatedly to speak to Adrian since their engagement party, he’d refused every single attempt to mend their relationship. He hadn’t answered the notes she’d sent, and on the two occasions she’d tried to force her way into his house, he’d had his manservant, Clinton, claim he wasn’t home.
Today, however, Clinton let her in, giving her a shy smile as he took her cloak. “Mr. Strathmore will be down directly, my lady.”
She paced the foyer, noticing that the six trunks that held all her worldly belongings had already been delivered. They sat in a haphazard pile just inside the front door. When she’d left her flat this morning, it had been for the last time. For better or worse, this was her home now.
Adrian’s house just a few blocks from Grosvenor Square was beautiful, a nearly new white stone edifice with wide windows and a deep red door, decorated in colors and fabrics that were as deep and gorgeous as he was. There was none of the clutter and bric-a-brac that was currently the rage. She could be quite happy here, if only he’d give her a chance.
The sound of running footsteps surprised her. She glanced toward the top of the curving, elaborate staircase, thinking for one instant that Adrian was rushing to meet her, only to be totally taken off balance by the sight of Gabriel running toward her. He looked a bit awkward in a tiny suit and cravat, but completely and utterly adorable.
“Vanessa,” he cried, launching himself at her from the third step up. She caught him in her arms, breathing in the sweet little boy scent, her eyes welling with tears.
Heavier, slower footsteps sounded on the stairs, and she glanced up to see Adrian slowly descending toward her, as though he was headed to the hangman’s noose instead of his wedding. Still, he wore the same exact outfit as Gabriel, and she knew he was to thank for bringing the boy here.
She smiled at him through a sheen of tears and he paused, one hand on the rail, his gaze locked with hers.
“You look beautiful,” he told her hoarsely.
Gabriel lifted his head and looked between them, beaming. “Mr. Strathmore says I’m to live with you. He says we’re going to be a family and I can call him Papa and you Mama from now on.”
“Oh, Adrian,” she whispered, glancing back at him, feeling utterly humbled by his selfless gesture. She squeezed Gabriel tightly. “Of course you can call me Mama,” she assured him. “I love you, Gabriel. So much.”
The little boy continued to beam as she sat him down and turned to her future husband. For the first time all day, she felt a glimmer of hope. “Thank you for doing this,” she told him shyly. “I wanted to ask you, but I was afraid of what you’d say.”
“The boy deserves a good home,” he told her roughly, dropping his gaze as he continued down the stairs. “I figured that despite how this came about, we could give him that.”
“You never cease to amaze me,” she said softly, stepping toward him, wanting so badly to touch him, to find the connection they’d once had. He would forgive her. He had to.
But when she reached out to take his hand, he pulled back, shaking his head, all tenderness disappearing from his face. “Shall we go? My mother will be furious if we’re late for our own wedding.”
He turned abruptly and strode for the door, leaving her staring after him sadly. He obviously had no intention of making this easy for her, despite his kind gesture.
Taking a deep breath, she took Gabriel’s hand and followed him. “Come on, Gabriel. Your new papa and I are going to get married.”
* * * *
Adrian watched from his side of the coach as Vanessa and Gabriel chatted with each other about the wedding. The boy was all excitement and wide eyes, and Vanessa really was very good with him. She explained everything with patience and sweetness, and the ache inside Adrian grew with each passing moment.
Thank God the trip to his brother’s house only lasted a few minutes. The unbearable sadness and betrayal threatened to overwhelm him, and the urge to call the whole thing off welled on the tip of his tongue. He just didn’t know how he could go through with this. Lust and pure stubbornness had made him agree to it in the first place, but he very much feared he could never maintain the emotional coldness he’d need to make this work.
Already, she was creeping beneath his defenses, making him wonder if perhaps she really did care, at least a little bit. She certainly acted as though she did…
It was far too easy to imagine being her husband in truth, being the family Gabriel wanted so badly. But that way lay a slippery slope of madness and heartbreak. She’d proven that she wasn’t worthy of his trust, so how could he ever give it to her?
When the coach came to a stop in front of Lucien’s imposing red brick mansion, he threw himself out, not bothering to wait for his blushing bride. He bypassed the footmen and strode hurriedly inside, wanting to escape to his old bedchamber for just a few minutes until he could gather his wits and harden his heart.
Unfortunately, the moment he entered the house, his gaze fell upon the last person on earth he wanted to see.
His stepbrother, Roger, leaned casually against the wall just a few feet from the front door, a satisfied smirk on his face. The man was the spitting image of his father, with blond hair and green eyes, his hulking body garbed in a hideous chartreuse vest.
Adrian pinned the bastard with a glare. “What the hell are you doing here? You weren’t invited.” In fact, the one caveat he’d impressed upon his cursed mother when he’d given her carte blanche to plan this thing was that Roger not be invited. She’d sulked, but he’d never expected her to openly defy him.
Roger lifted a hand to show a cream and gold invitation. “Oh? Then what is this?”
“An oversight, I’m sure,” Adrian gritted out, so furious that red tinted the edges of his vision. “Get out, Roger. You’re not welcome here.”
Roger’s smile widened. “I just couldn’t resist the fun, little brother. The spectacle of watching you wed one of my castoffs was worth charming our dear mother into letting me come.”
Sickness bloomed within him. “Castoff? What are you talking about?”
At that moment, the door opened again, and Vanessa and Gabriel tumbled in, their cheeks red with the cold, laughing quietly and clutching each other’s hands. When Vanessa saw them, she came to an abrupt stop, the color leeching from her face as her gaze settled upon Roger. She shoved Gabriel behind her, like a lioness guarding her young.
“Do you know this man?” Adrian demanded, his fury and disgust growing by the second. “Answer me, Vanessa. Who the hell is he to you?”
“Tell him, sweeting,” Roger coaxed, obviously enjoying himself. “Tell my dear brother about our little…arrangement.”
“Brother?” Vanessa whispered brokenly, her gaze darting between them. “Roger is your brother?”
Her use of the bastard’s first name completely tore Adrian up inside. “He’s my stepbrother,” he clarified harshly.
“Please tell me that he’s lying. That you and he never…” He broke off, unable to finish in front of Gabriel, but the look on her face said it all.
Without another word he turned away, striding up the stairs as Roger’s laughter echoed behind him.
“Adrian,” Vanessa called weakly. “Adrian, please.”
Ignoring her, he took the stairs two at a time, relieved to see Morgan making his way down. “Get that bastard out of here,” he hissed, jabbing one finger in his stepbrother’s direction. “Then send that…” He broke off, a dozen dirty slurs battling in his brain. Unfortunately, Gabriel was staring up at them, peeking from behind Vanessa’s skirts, his earlier happiness gone as he chewed on his bottom lip, obviously sensing something was wrong.
“Vanessa,” Adrian managed. “Send her to me in my old bedroom.” He lowered his voice to an angry rumble. “I don’t think there’s going to be a wedding today.”
Chapter Fifteen
“You didn’t tell him about us?” Roger asked, his enjoyment of the situation painfully obvious.
Vanessa stared at her former lover, hatred welling within her. She hadn’t seen him in nine years, not since he’d left her, destitute, after having promised her the moon and brutally taking her virginity. If Marcus hadn’t taken her in and gotten her a job with his troupe, who knew what would have become of her.
Before she could say anything, Adrian’s twin charged past her, grabbing Roger by the throat and backing him up against the wall. “I thought we made it perfectly clear that you weren’t to attend this event,” Morgan said, with a calmness that was more frightening than any amount of anger could ever have been. “I’m going to let you go now, and you’re going to walk away without another word. Is that understood?”
Roger nodded once, his green eyes wide with fear as he struggled to breathe.
Morgan held on to him a moment longer, and then released him. Roger coughed a few times, gave a brooding glance up the stairs, straightened his cravat, smirked at Vanessa, gave Gabriel a disturbingly long look up and down, and then strode out the front door.
Morgan gave Vanessa a measuring glance, and then shook his head, obviously finding her lacking. “Upstairs. Fourth door on the right. Go to him.”
She knelt beside Gabriel, trying to hide her fear. “It will be all right,” she assured the little boy, hating the uncertainty on his face. “That was a bad man, but he’s gone now. Will you wait here for a minute with your papa’s brother?”
Gabriel nodded, his small face pale and his slender body trembling. He seemed terrified, and she didn’t want to leave him, but she knew she had to talk to Adrian.
Morgan frowned a bit when she gave him a pleading book, but then nodded. “The boy will be fine with me. I’ll take him to Anne.”
Squaring her shoulders, Vanessa hurried up the stairs, wondering how on earth she was going to salvage this. Roger Croft, the Earl of Winters! He was the darkest part of her life, and she couldn’t believe he’d shown up here in an obvious attempt to ruin this new Chapter. Why had he come looking for her, after all this time?
Clenching her hands into fists, she stood before the door Morgan had indicated, revising her train of thought. Given the fierce animosity between Roger and his stepbrothers, perhaps his goal hadn’t been to hurt her at all, but rather Adrian.
How had everything gone so terribly wrong? Adrian believed she was Roger’s whore. She would never get him to trust her now.
Taking a deep breath, she turned the handle and let herself into the room. She had a brief impression of understated masculine elegance in chocolate brown and cobalt blue, before her gaze zeroed in on Adrian. He stood facing the window, his shoulders rigid with anger. He’d obviously heard her come in, but he didn’t turn around.
“Adrian,” she whispered. “I’m so sorry. I don’t know what to say.”
He whirled around, his face a mask of pain and fury. The burn scars stood out lividly against his flushed skin. “Just tell me the truth!” he cried. “Can you just tell me the truth for once?”
“I’ve never lied to you!” she shouted back, stung. “Are you a virgin, Adrian? Did you ever ask me if I was?”
“I should have known,” he snarled bitterly, striding forward and grabbing her by the shoulders. “How many men have you been with, Vanessa? A dozen? A hundred? Too many to count?”
She slapped him and then jerked away, tears streaming down her face. Perhaps she deserved this, but that didn’t make it hurt any less.
The sound of the slap echoed between them, and he lifted a hand to his cheek, though she knew she hadn’t hit him hard enough to hurt. “Did you try to blackmail him into marrying you, too?”
“I was sixteen years old,” she told him hollowly. “My father had just died, and I was utterly alone in the world. My father’s last mistress introduced me to Roger. I should have seen the arrangement for what it was, known he was paying her a price, but he treated me so gallantly, courted me, as though he actually cared about me…”
She trailed off, gathering the courage to continue. When she remained silent, some of the fury faded from his face and he knelt before her, meeting her gaze evenly. “What did he do to you, Vanessa?”
She swallowed hard, then forced herself to continue. “After a week of dinners and walks by the river, he took me to the house where he kept his mistresses, though of course I didn’t know that at the time. I was so stupid…so naïve…I thought he loved me.”
“He hurt you,” Adrian said quietly, a statement, not a question. He looked into her eyes and she knew he saw it all. He saw too much. “He raped you, didn’t he, Vanessa?”
She nodded jerkily, blinking back a fresh rush of tears. “I didn’t understand that for a long time. I thought it was my fault for having gone with him. It hurt and I wanted him to stop. But he wouldn’t. He left a guard at the door, and he came back every night for a week, maybe two. Then he threw me out. Told me I was too ugly and old to interest him any more…” Her words ended in a choking sob, and suddenly she found herself in his arms.
“I’ll kill that bastard,” he vowed, his arms tightening around her. “You didn’t deserve that, darling. I’m so sorry he put you through that.”
“He was the only one,” she sobbed, needing him to believe her. “After that, I never let a man close enough to hurt me, not until you…”
He silenced her with a fierce kiss, ending her tearful confession with a flood of passion. She clung to him, kissing him back until she was dizzy with it, the emotions within her strained past the tipping point. This man made her feel too much. She couldn’t bear the thought of losing him, and she was very afraid this was his way of saying good-bye. Even if she hadn’t already betrayed him and blackmailed him, what man would want a woman who’d been another man’s whore? Especially his own stepbrother’s?
Gasping, he wrenched away, shoving to his feet and turning his back on her. Tremors racked his lean body, and she knew this was too much for him, too. She didn’t want to hurt him this way. She’d never wanted that.
“It’s all right,” she told him softly, choking on her tears. “I understand, and I’m so sorry. I never meant to embarrass you this way. You don’t have to do this. No one will think less of you for sending the gold-digging whore packing. I would never tell anyone who you are—”
“There’s a basin of water and a washcloth on the dresser,” he interrupted her, still not turning around. “Clean yourself up, and take some deep breaths. Take as long as you need to compose yourself. We don’t want our wedding guests to know you’ve been crying.”
Then he took a deep breath of his own and left the room, leaving her stunned by the fact that he still meant to marry her.
* * * *
When Adrian stepped out into the hall, both of his brothers were grimly waiting for him. Lucien stepped forward, shaking his head in apology. “I’m sorry. I don’t know how the bastard got in. He knows he’s not welcome here.”
Adrian cleared his throat, still shaken by all that ha
d happened since he arrived. He couldn’t look either of them in the eyes. “It’s all right,” he assured his brother grimly. “I know it wasn’t your fault. It was Mother. He still has her wrapped around his little finger, even after all these years.”
Since the day his father had died, his mother had hated her scarred youngest son. Whenever she was forced to be in the same room with him, she stared at him with a mixture of pity and revulsion. She was ashamed that her perfect family had been touched by tragedy and ugliness, and she blamed Adrian. If the earl had not gone back for Adrian, he’d still be alive.
Roger had always known how to capitalize upon that. Adrian wondered if the bastard had told the countess about his previous relationship with Vanessa, if this whole thing had been an attempt on her part to destroy his marriage, but quickly discarded the notion. The last thing she’d want was more scandal.
No, this was Roger’s doing. One way or another, Adrian intended to make his stepbrother pay for what he’d done to Vanessa.
Morgan cleared his throat. “Do you want me to go down and tell everyone that the wedding is off?”
Adrian focused on his twin, realizing for the first time that Gabriel was not with him. “Where’s Gabriel?” he asked, ignoring his brother’s question. “He’s probably upset. I need to go to him.”
“The child?” Morgan frowned. “I left him with Anne and the children. Who is he to you?”
“He’s my…son.” The word felt strange on his tongue. Strange but surprisingly pleasant. “I adopted him.”
“You did what?” Lucien’s voice rose in obvious confusion. “Why would you do something like that without telling us? What do you even know about him?”
“I know enough,” Adrian answered stubbornly. He took a deep breath and met Lucien’s concerned gaze. “I’m still marrying Vanessa.”