All I can do is nod.
If she truly loves you, faith will conquer all.
Vedrai.
Sandro squeezes my shoulders and turns back to the lifeless man before us. “Now you have to do one of the hardest things, but it’s gotta be done before we get rid of him. Look at him. See who it is.”
When I slip off the balaclava, my jaw tightens.
Oh…Dio…
It’s the man who attacked me.
His eyes are wide open, frozen in time. There’s that same scar between his eyebrows. That same arrogant face, even in his death.
I change out of my clothes and give the men the ones I committed the crime in, along with the gun. It has me think of Valencia. What will she do with her clothes? Will she call the police? Will she tell somebody the truth about my father’s death?
Fuck.
I pay Sandro the sixty thousand. It’s three times the normal rate and on top of that, I sign the NDA. They’re out of the house soon after. There’s no sign of death in the kitchen anymore. But I still can’t breathe easily, not even after there is no sign of the murder. Not even after I unlock the twins’ doors and find they are sound asleep. Not even when I slip into the bed with Valencia’s scent lingering on the sheets.
I killed my father and I’ve gotten away with it for over a decade, but now…?
The man I killed tonight…will it be my undoing?
Will Valencia call the police?
Both occasions were self-defense. If I didn’t kill the man, he would have killed Valencia and I couldn’t have that. Self-defense, I tell myself over and over, until I can’t take it anymore.
My agitation has me reenter the kitchen to grab my trusty bottle of bourbon and then head back to the bedroom. I step out past these cursed French doors and up to the rooftop balcony. I somehow stumble onto the outdoor sofa, causing the bourbon bottle I’m now drinking out of to slip from my grip and smash onto the decking. Liquid gold spills alongside shattered glass.
“Go to hell…” I grumble at the mess and step over it, unsteady.
The Seattle air feels warmer now and I wonder if it’s because inside I feel nothing but coldness. It has to be. It’s the only reason, alongside my broken heart. I did this to myself. I’ve forced this sorrow. I’ve caused this gaping hole for not only my marriage but for my children.
I don’t know if we can ever come back from this…
If Valencia can ever forgive me for hurting her this deep.
If tonight I have killed the last hope of finding Addilyn alive.
I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I let you down, Lencia.
I look up at the stars now—at our stars—and for the first time in my life, I wish upon them.
Valencia
“Aye! Watch out!” Strong hands grip my forearm and pull me back into a firm chest. A car zooms past right in front of me, missing me by inches. I stumble into the familiar scent, shaken by my near-death experience. Bryce looks down at me with furrowed brows, witnessing my anxious expression. “You okay? That was close!”
Too close.
My fingers thread through my hair in a panic. I was so lost in thought moments ago that I detached myself from reality and began crossing the road into the traffic before it was my turn.
“Are you okay?”
“Yes, thank you for that. I just was lost in thought.”
Bryce slings a hand over my neck. “Ya know what the trick is, babe? You’ve gotta wait til’ the pedestrian lights tell you to go. Simple, innit?”
“Oh, shut up!” I laugh when his grin expands. “Thank you. I should have been paying more attention. That has never happened to me before…my mind is somewhere else today.”
Ever since last night, my mind has been wandering to places it’s never been. Nothing makes sense, but I need to put on a brave face today. Not for Giulio, but to spend my last days working with Kayla and keeping my mind occupied. My last day is next Friday and I plan to keep my head high and focus on my job, not the man.
McCarson and I cross when the lights indicate it’s our turn. He has this pep in his step that has a few women glance his way with beaming smiles and an extra sway in their hips.
“I never thought I’d see the day where ya voluntarily walked alongside me.”
“And yet the day has come!”
“Yeah, I’m going to note this in my dear diary.”
I smile through the agony because letting completely go of myself would be equal to losing myself. I meant what I said to Giulio last night. From now on, I need to focus on myself.
“I’m sure that would be a good look for you.”
“Hell, yeah. Feather pen and all. It’ll be a hit in the office, but Giulio would probably kill me.”
“No! He wouldn’t do that!”
My heart seizes. Jesus. I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did over the killing comment.
That’s what happens when you witness a man shot dead and all of a sudden everything’s literal.
We come to a halt in front of Notti Designs and Bryce’s face screws up. He observes the scene around us for a second before honing in on me. “Aye…everything alright, Valencia?”
I nod.
Bryce raises a brow, far from convinced. His cockney accent softens. “I’ve gotten the pleasure of knowing you for over a month now and I know something’s off when you don’t speak.”
“I’m okay.” I force a smile that most likely doesn’t look genuine. “It’s just that Giulio and I are not on good terms. We’re not together and so there have been a few things crossing my mind.”
“Oh? I thought everything was back to normal. It would be tough, especially with kids.”
“Exactly, it makes it much more difficult. We were good, but something happened, and now…”
“You don’t need to say more than you want to,” Bryce offers. “Just give it time, it’s all you can do. See this tattoo on me hand? I got this rose, because ya know the saying; to truly love a rose, you’ve got to accept its thorns. I got it for my mother, but the same goes with relationships. Whatever happened I’m sure it’ll cool down. It’ll all be alright.”
To truly love a rose, you’ve got to accept its thorns.
“Thank you. I really do appreciate it.”
“See? I’m not that bad to hang around.”
We make it through the lobby and up to the twelfth floor. When we come to a stop in front of Kayla’s empty desk, he turns to me. “You know the best way to get out of a rut? B.M Keller.”
My smirk lightens the dark. “Oh, is that your stripper name?”
“What? How did you guess?” He gasps dramatically and laughs it off. “Joking. In my opinion B.M. Keller is one of the best country meets contemporary singers out there. Listen to one of his songs, have a cry and you’ll feel like a new person after.”
Bryce McCarson shedding a tear? I find that very hard to imagine, but I suppose everybody has their breaking point. Giulio and I are the perfect example.
“I’ve never heard of him, but I’ll listen to him now. Thanks!”
“Anytime.” McCarson’s mouth meets my ear in a low murmur. “And by the way, you’ll never know the stripper name I go by.” I gape at his words. So, he really does strip? Bryce rushes a hand through his dark brown hair, winking with that signature smirk of his. I laugh as that same hand descends down his torso. “Never, babe, never.” And then he’s striding away.
Well….that was certainly something else.
The last person I expect to see when I turn around is Giulio.
His somber eyes are lasers towards the space Bryce occupied seconds ago. In one single glance, I am transported to last night and everything it means. To all the feelings of uncertainty that lay between the echoes of gunfire and the unofficial countdown the intruder stated before dying.
Soon it will happen and without me, you cannot stop it.
When is soon? Today? This weekend? Next week on my twenty-eighth birthday?
How can we be prepared if the po
lice are not involved?
My paranoia peaks at the thought of somebody watching us this very minute. I haven’t slept a wink and I know it shows. The darkness underneath Giulio’s eyes suggests the same.
My stomach churns at our locked gazes when the moments leading up to the death repeat in my mind, along with the fleeting trust. We continue to stare until a phone begins ringing and Giulio steps inside of his office, shutting the door and our past seven years behind him.
“Just know I’m here when you do want to talk.” Kayla smiles, handing over my coffee. “And even if you don’t want to talk and it’s just silence, that’s cool too. I just hope that they find who attacked Giulio sooner rather than later. Do you believe it has to do with Addilyn?”
I give her hand a final squeeze and step inside the hair salon. “SPD suspects it does and so I would have to say yes. I will take any chance of seeing her again at this point.”
“I would be the same, honey. It’s the only thing we can do.”
I took both Bryce and Helena’s advice during my lunch break. What is the best way to get out of a break-up kidnapping rut? B.M. Keller and a killer blowout. So when Kayla mentioned she already had an appointment at a chic salon a block away from work, I was all in.
Kayla scurries off to her booking while a middle-aged lady appears from the backroom. Her dark hair is tied back in a high bun and she greets me with kind features and a wide smile. There’s a calming presence I get from her, like the comfort of my mother’s rose and cinnamon scent or the warm apple and blueberry pie she always used to make on my birthday as a kid.
“Good afternoon, what can I do for you?”
It’s been me and my long dark brown tresses for the better half of my life and right now, I’m dying for a change. The sharp sounds of the blow-dryers and client’s chatter deter me.
“Good afternoon! I’m sorry…” I smile apologetically. “I’m always so indecisive when it comes to things like this.”
“You and the rest of my clientele. Don’t stress, let’s see what we can do.” She steps forward and glides her fingers through the ends of my hair. Her slate eyes meet mine. “Oh, are you Valencia Giannotti?”
The yes gets caught in my throat.
She shakes her head in apology. “Sorry, I don’t mean to be intrusive. It’s just that I’ve been following the case on the news. I have been in your position. Twenty years ago my son was abducted when he was two and the investigation was very much like yours.”
“Oh, I’m so sorry to hear. Have you…found him?”
She nods. “We found him alive a few weeks before his sixth birthday. It was four years of agony but the moment he was returned to us was the best day of my life. It was during those years I became a hairdresser. I felt something so liberating and freeing about altering appearances. I see how hopeful you are and I was exactly the same. It broke my marriage too, but we ended up coming back together sometime after our boy was returned. I learned to love myself in those years and trust myself. Valencia, I can tell you’re strong and so you’re halfway there. We should liberate you today.”
Tears blur my vision and I can see her glassy eyes redden as well. Without any warning I pull her into a tight embrace. The lady rubs small circles on my back and I connect with her on a mental level as well as an emotionally exhausting one. She’d battled through this hell for four years.
I can do this.
All I need to do is start believing in myself again. You’re strong. I am halfway there. I will find my daughter. Love yourself. Keep up the hope. Trust yourself. Don’t let go. I CAN DO THIS!
“I think I know what I want to do.”
She grins and we turn to the mirror. “Go on, honey.”
“Let’s cut it all off to my shoulders.”
“I can’t get over how good it looks! I loved it before but wow, short hair suits you too! How do you feel?”
“Liberated in some sense. It makes me feel like…a new fresh start!”
“That’s exactly where you want to be!” Kayla cheers me along when I run my hands through my new cut. I love the new feeling. It just reaches my shoulders and feels as though a weight has been taken off of me, literally. “You don’t know how proud I am of you!”
It’s the motivation I need to push myself to the limit and understand that I am capable of this all. I am strong. I am determined. Nothing will get in the way.
Kayla and I split up as she needs to mail a letter to her boyfriend in New Zealand. They’re the true romantics. It makes me think back to the amounts of letters Giulio and I have given each other. There is something about his hand-written cursive that makes me…Stop!
Do not think of him.
Breathe.
I stride into Notti Design’s lobby just before 2 P.M. Lee greets me with a salute. “As a man obliged to notice his wife’s haircuts or else I sleep on the couch, I can confidently say it suits you well!”
“Thank you, Lee! You’re a good man.”
“Try to be. You don’t know how uncomfortable our couch is! Bricks would be better!”
My smile drops at the sight of Marcus waiting by the elevator. His back is to me and he’s typing away on his phone. This is the first time I’ve seen him since learning the truth last night.
I control my breathing and squeeze out a goodbye to Lee.
Be strong.
Stay confident.
I want to fix this between us. It unsettles me that I am at a current crossroads with both Giannotti men. It’s not how I want the family to be.
“Afternoon, Marcus.”
He completely ignores me when I stand by his side.
“Hey, can we talk for a minute?”
“Don’t wanna talk.” He jabs the elevator button a dozen times and proceeds to curse when it still doesn’t open.
“Please. You’re one of the last people I want to be fighting with.”
“I don’t want to talk about it. When are you going to get that through your thick head?”
I’m taken aback because I haven’t done anything to him. Where is this coming from? Not only is my marriage slaughtered with Giulio, but it’s as if I’m breaking away from all the individuals surrounding him.
“Is that how you got your job here, Marcus? By not speaking? Hmmm, yes. You begged Giulio for it, didn’t you? Actually…no, bribed is the correct word. Isn’t it?”
Marcus scoffs, his stare piercing through my soul. “So, he finally told you?”
“He did.”
“Good on him. No more secrets and lies. I don’t need your help, I don’t need his help, or anyone else’s. So do me a favor and wait for the next elevator ride.”
“Woah, woah, woah.” In a striking gray suit, Lance Hilton steps between us with caution. “Marcus, are you really speaking to her like that? Your tone is unacceptable!”
“Yeah, I really am speaking to her like that. Get out of my shit, Hilton. I don’t answer to you,” Marcus spits, storming into the elevator with his back to us as the doors shut.
“That was uncalled for. I apologize on his behalf, Val.”
“You didn’t do anything.”
“Oh, I like your hair! It’s new! When did this happen?”
A knot forms in my throat as I stare at Giulio’s right-hand man.
Did he tell him about …?
“Lovely, what’s going on?” Lance frowns when my lips part to no words. “Giulio hasn’t been himself all day. He didn’t tell me anything, only that he ruined everything. Did something happen between you two from yesterday to today?”
“You could say that.”
“Am I imposing if I ask what?”
I attempt to explain it the best I can without revealing too much. “It wouldn’t be imposing, but it’s complex. I wish I could tell you, but I don’t think it is the right thing to do. Not by him.”
There’s a ghost of a smile on his lips and it encourages me to be better. Close friend and business partner to Giulio since college, Lance Hilton has always been supportive o
f us. They’ve known each other for fourteen years and throughout the past seven years I saw him every week; Lance and I have also become close. I know I can always trust and rely on him.
Does he know about what really happened to Pietro Giannotti?
I don’t think Giulio would tell him. Last night he said nobody else knew except Marcus and me. And so I take my losses and block the thought that Lance could have been misleading me this whole time too.
“Look, I’m on both of your sides. Ever since I met Giulio, all he has ever wanted to do was protect the ones he loves. I remember even before he proposed to you, how he told me how much you were his savior. That you were the woman he wanted to create the family he never had with. A stable one. A united one. He sees refuge in you and is hopeful about Addilyn now. Giulio never stopped loving you. I can’t tell you what to do but I can say that this past month he’s been happier with you around more. If something happened last night and you’re both looking at divorce…I hope you two find a common ground because I love you both together.”
Lance gives me a side hug before we step inside the now vacant elevator. I attempt to hide the tears burning down my cheek, but the pain is carved on my face and it caves me in.
Everything follows me with a shadow of doubt.
Every single thing.
“Thank you. I needed to hear that.”
“You’re welcome. Giulio didn’t tell me to say any of that, it just felt right for me to say. I think back to that night he brought you home after that incident with Bryce…and I remember seeing the pure love in Giulio’s eyes. I don’t think he’ll ever be able to stop loving you, but if I’m wrong, if this is the end…then I’m sorry, Val. I’m sorry that it has to come to this.”
“So am I.”
Merciful Vows: A Bittersweet Second Chance Romantic Suspense (The Giannotti World Book 1) Page 32