Merciful Vows: A Bittersweet Second Chance Romantic Suspense (The Giannotti World Book 1)

by Vanessa Luisa

  “That one was funny! Let’s watch that one again!”

  When Slonne’s sparkling eyes meet mine, she has no idea of the pain and torment I have been through overnight. She knows none of it and it needs to stay this way. While Oscar is helping Giulio in the kitchen on popcorn duty, my daughter and I decide on a short film. We’re going to be watching the movie I promised last week when hell hadn’t broken loose yet.

  If I’ve learned anything, it’s to not catastrophize on the future. To take it day by day and concentrate on what I can control. Just like it was stated in his handbook.

  During the time Giulio and I were good, my depression eased. It returned in small waves, but there was this blanket of security over me. Now that our family is broken again, I’ve been attempting to summon my strength to concentrate on the silver linings, but it’s difficult to do when you feel as though there’s a gaping hole where your heart is supposed to be.

  Giulio and I haven’t spoken a word about the events that went down last night. He is the last person I want to see, but between work and the kids, it’s inevitable. When he presented himself at my desk after my lunch hour and stated how the twins want me to come over in the evening to watch a movie, I couldn’t say no to the thought of their cute faces.

  We have to put on brave faces for them and act as if nothing happened.

  Giulio’s eyes couldn’t even meet mine after I agreed and that became our only conversation the entire day. When I arrived at the Madrona house less than twenty minutes ago, the silence continued between us, even as the twins ran up to me and complimented me on my hair.

  The reality is everything happened.

  Last night ruined everything.

  The pain has me gripped and I continue losing my breath remembering that Giulio killed that intruder. Although I know it was to protect me, he didn’t need to extend the torment in ensuring he was dead. I accept that killing his father was self-defense and a fight or flight moment; I accept that he was protecting me by pulling the trigger…but when we saw the man was still alive…when we heard him talking about Addilyn, why did he have to shoot him dead instead of calling the police?

  As Oscar rushes into the living room and his father trails behind with a large bowl of popcorn, I give Giulio a good look while he’s distracted with the twins. I do my best to ignore the fire in my heart and between my thighs. Just then, I’m reminded of Lance’s words, and that sense of security vanishes; Giulio never stopped loving you.

  How many lies has Giulio told me? Was this the first?

  Who got rid of the body for him?

  We should have gone to the police and pleaded self-defense!

  Giulio falls into the seat beside me. His scent has me sinking further into the couch and crossing my arms and legs. Slonne is on his left and Oscar is on my right.

  Charlie Chaplin’s ‘One A.M.’ begins playing. It’s a black and white short film from 1916. A silent film with antic sated music. It’s been one of my favorite comedic malarkeys since I was their age and I’ve watched it regularly with Oscar and Slonne in these past few months to add some laughter to our home. There’s pure joy in introducing the twins to classic short films and movies I loved. Their riotous laugher always has me smiling.

  Halfway through the slapstick comedy, Giulio’s arm slides behind my backrest on the couch. An involuntary habitual action that has him retreat less than a second later. I feel his hot gaze burn through my side. I want to concentrate on the television, on the warmth my twins give the room, on how today I finally did something for myself which resulted in a new beginning, but Giulio derails me.

  We play a game of cat and mouse. He turns to the movie when I look at him and he looks at me when I look away. I see how it is. I find this a better moment than ever with the music acting like a buffer to maintain discretion from the twins noticing.

  I lean forward, my lips brushing against his ear. “Cosa hai fatto con il corpo?”

  What did you do with the body?

  When Giulio turns to me, our lips almost meet. “Ho assunto qualcuno.”

  I hired somebody.

  Hired somebody? My eyes widen and I need to swallow roughly to douse the fire burning up my throat. It doesn’t matter who he hired; how can we trust them to keep secret what we did and not turn on us or give the police a tip? We simply can’t.

  “Chi?”

  Who?

  “Non devi preoccuparti. É tutto fatto.”

  You don’t need to worry. It’s all done.

  I turn back to the movie just as the twins burst out into uncontrollable laugher. I don’t need to worry. Is he serious? What is all done supposed to mean? How can he be sure the person he hired won’t rat us out? Is the dead man in some river or did they…

  I feel even more sick than when I lay awake all night at the thought.

  “Who was the guy? The one you…got,” I whisper.

  Giulio inches closer to me, his lips meeting my ear this time. It’s such a soft whisper that I don’t anticipate biting my lip. “The man who attacked me that night by the circuit breaker box. It was him. Scar and all. What did you do with the clothes?”

  His response has me spellbound.

  “He could have told us so much. He said that we wouldn’t be able to stop what is happening soon without him. We could’ve been one step closer to finding Addilyn. We can’t even go to the police now! Not now that others are involved. Why would you hire somebody?”

  “The clothes?”

  “I burned them.”

  His hot breath hits the back of my neck when he sighs in relief. “Perfect.”

  Perfect? Nothing about our situation is those two syllables. Not even close!

  “I don’t know who you are anymore.”

  “I am the same man, only now you know the truth.”

  “That’s what hurts the most, you lied about it the whole time. Then when he…” I shift closer to Giulio’s fresh cologne, desperate for the twins not to catch on. “When he began speaking again about danger coming you finished the job when we could have gone to the police! I get it was self-defense. I do. But killing him when we saw that he wasn’t dead…that’s murder!”

  “That’s why I’ve changed my mind.”

  My heart sinks. “On what?”

  “On everything.”

  We pull back and I stare at his clenched jaw, left to decide what exactly he means. I can’t press him for information, so I turn back to the silent film. Giulio and I remain motionless, frozen in time as laughter rumbles from both sides of us like two lethal rising tides that swallow us whole.

  Giulio is right about one thing.

  Everything’s changed…

  For the worst.

  Valencia

  I wake up disoriented to my bedroom door being busted wide open. I make out a frenzied shadow rush towards me and all of a sudden brightness fills the room. What is going on?

  My sensitive eyes blink away the light until my vision eases to complete confusion at the sight in front of me.

  He is right here.

  Giulio hovers over my bedside with worry written all over his face. His eyes are wide, giving the illusion of the illusive gray deepening and the powder blue concoction dissolving.

  My first thought is the twins.

  “Valencia.” His raspy voice is urgent. “Is everything alright? Are you okay?”

  “Yes…what time is it? Has something happened to Oscar or Slonne?”

  “It’s 4 A.M. The twins are perfect, but are you okay? What’s going on? Is the person still here?”

  What person? I don’t get it….

  What does Giulio mean by here?

  “It’s okay,” His head swings towards my door. “Oh, out there?”

  I take hold of his wrist before he can make the move, my fingers brushing against the pink beaded bracelet he’s still wearing. The one I am too. “What are you talking about?”

  “You messaged me saying you needed help and that somebody is here. Are they out there?”r />
  I take in Giulio as a whole. His short, dark stubble which trickles down to his neckline. Those untied charcoal sweatpants. Looking closer I notice his white t-shirt that fits him so perfectly is inside out and my breath stutters. He must have dashed here thinking the worst…but there’s a problem.

  “What do you mean a message? I didn’t send you anything.”

  “You sent me a text not too long ago. Here…” He pulls out his phone and shows me.

  He’s right.

  According to his phone, I sent him a text a 3:45 A.M. stating I needed help because somebody was here. But that doesn’t add up. It doesn’t make sense.

  I sit up and the sheets lower as a result when I reach over for my own phone. “I couldn’t have sent that. I was fast asleep.” I show him my phone and just as I said, there’s no sent message on my end.

  What the hell is happening?

  “This doesn’t make sense.”

  “I thought somebody had come in and injured…” The words fall silent as Giulio begins pacing with hands rubbing over his face. “Oh my god. I can’t believe this. What’s going on?”

  It hurts.

  It hurts to see him here.

  It hurts to see him like this.

  The truth of the matter is I have nothing to say except that somebody must have hacked one or both of our phones. But how? Why? And most importantly who?

  A mix of agitation and defeat takes over Giulio’s expression. He’s at a total loss and it shows, partly because I feel the same knowing he thought somebody was here hurting me.

  This isn’t easy on any of us.

  “I’ll go, seeing everything is okay.”

  I cannot take his departure lightly. I cannot take the coldness. This break up has me testing my every single word and movement, like my choice to follow him out. We pause by the front door where his spare key is inserted. My nipples respond to the chilled air outside, poking through the silk fabric of my pajama shirt as my arms cross over my chest.

  The pitch black sky is accompanied by a full moon and several hopeful stars.

  Ours are out there somewhere.

  Giulio’s gaze locks on my left hand and mine falls there too when I realize what it represents. I swallow hard, so loudly that I swear he hears and is bound to witness my heart protrude out of my chest any minute now.

  The tension between us is thick. It opens new wounds I’ve been attempting to compress ever since Thursday night. It’s the early hours of Monday morning now and the abrasion to our love is bleeding. Giulio takes my hand in his with an aching sigh, and his thumb brushes over the patch of skin my wedding ring used to be.

  How do you respond to this?

  What do I say when my heart has been taken away by murder?

  There are too many questions. Too many thoughts. The intruder was the man who attacked Giulio and so Seattle Police are on the case. What if somebody heard the gunshots? What if whoever Giulio hired didn’t cover up everything? What if the countdown of soon is in response to Addilyn?

  I recoil in a pit of lethal illusions the second Giulio looks at me, his pupils glimmering in the moonlight. His voice is soft and still affects me. “Telling you my father committed suicide was the only lie I’ve ever told you. I wish there was a way to take back what I did. To take away all the pain. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I didn’t mean for it to go this far. There are a million things I want to say to you because I know an apology isn’t going to fix this. I’m not that man. I’m not a gangster. I know you’re scared and you have a right to be…this is all my fault, Valencia.”

  “I’m not angry at you. I’m angry at myself because I knew something would happen to jeopardize us but I let myself love you all over again anyway.”

  Giulio’s lips meet my ring finger and I snap my eyes shut at the long kiss.

  No. No there is no coming back.

  “Goodnight, Valencia.”

  “Goodnight.”

  I think it’s safe to open my eyes after counting to five, but it’s not. His regretful features linger until I step back. “How can I make this right? Please. I will do anything.”

  I miss him.

  Strong. Be strong.

  “Goodnight, Giulio.”

  He nods in defeat. As Giulio turns towards my driveway, his entire body freezes. His perfect jaw drops and that leaves my mouth gaping at the sight before us.

  “My car…my car! It’s not here…the twins…OH MY GOD!”

  My heart aches for something I already know the answer to. “Giulio, please do not tell me that you brought the kids with you…” His lack of response kills me. Somebody stole his Porsche with Oscar and Slonne inside. No. Please, no. I can’t go through this again! Please, God. No! Nothing can brace me for the eeriness that takes over once the distressed scream escapes me, one I cannot control as my body begins to tremble. “Why would you leave them in there? Why didn’t you bring them inside?”

  Giulio tugs at the ends of his hair, cursing along with every breath. “I thought something happened to you and I didn’t want to risk it. They were asleep and I didn’t want to wake them. I thought it would be okay for a split moment.”

  “Giulio!”

  “I didn’t think somebody would…Fuck!”

  “Oh my god, I cannot believe this! This isn’t real! It can’t be!”

  There’s no luck for us as our feet slap against the asphalt driveaway and continue looking around our street in panic for any evidence of our twins or the car. We break in front of each other, tears accompanying our every heartbeat. This is our worst nightmare come to life again.

  This can’t be happening for the second time in my life.

  Somebody stole our children.

  All three.

  I’m the one to make the 911 call on Giulio’s phone. After explaining everything, the female operator ensures us that police will be here shortly.

  We head back inside the house to the kitchen after our search leads us nowhere. From all the commotion between us, Helena comes out of her room clutching the center of her dusty pink robe. “Guys! What on earth is going on?”

  “Somebody stole his car with the twins asleep in it!”

  “Tell me I didn’t hear that right. Tell me.” One look at our faces confirms it. She shakes her head, tears welling in her eyes. “How the hell did it happen?”

  The weight of the agitation I feel is so crushing, that I’m glad Giulio takes over to explain.

  “You left the engine running?” My sister screeches. “Why would you do that?”

  “I was so worried something would happen to Valencia that I wasn’t thinking clearly…I thought I could handle who was in here.”

  My words are out before I know it. “How? By shooting whoever you thought it was dead?”

  His silence does nothing to console my emotions. I know he’s the victim in this too, but I am so fired up. If only he didn’t leave the keys in the car or nobody was out there to destroy us in the first place, we wouldn’t be turning on each other like we are.

  “You should have stayed home and let me handle whatever was going on by myself. Slonne and Oscar would have still been with you! Everything would have been okay.”

  “I’m sorry I cared!”

  I fall silent, unable to comprehend such a punctured hole in my chest. I cared. I blame myself. I don’t want to blame him also, but within this moment I physically have nobody else to pin it on. Giulio should have known leaving the kids in his luxury car alone in the dark was the worst possible idea.

  “Did you bring it, huh? The gun? Were you going to shoot this guy too?”

  “I disposed of it.”

  “Were you going to call whoever you hired to dispose of the body too?”

  “Valencia…” my sister says.

  “No!” My finger is trembling when I point at him. “For the last few days I have been trying like crazy to come up with a way to justify your actions, but it is too much for me to take in.”

  “I’m hurting for what I did, just as
much as you are. But I did what I had to do to protect our family. That’s what parents do and that is what we are. Parents. You and I. Together. United in this. So continue blaming me for this.”

  A pulling sensation overtakes me. It fights against me, desperate to take a hold of my entire person. It drags me to my knees and I clutch my chest to ease the pain.

  Slonne and Oscar are gone.

  Addilyn is gone.

  Gone.

  The unknown, the fighting, the continuous consequences…it’s all ruining me.

  Helena crouches down beside me, rubbing circles on my back in a desperate bid to calm my shaking body. I have always hated the eeriness of the early morning. Now I know why.

  “My father was right. All I am is weak.” Giulio’s defeated tone rises from the disturbing silence. “His death protected my life. He hated me for being my mother’s son and proved it with years of tormenting me by hitting me and taunting me with cigarette lighter burns. They were never enough to create scars, but enough to scare me as a child. I am weak…After all, all I’m ever good for is ruining everything. I am the curse that runs deep within this family of ours. Maybe it should have been me that died that night with my father. Maybe I shouldn’t have stopped him when he had the trigger to my head.”

  “Please don’t say that.”

  I mean it.

  I don’t want these thoughts in his head.

  I don’t want these thoughts in anybody’s head.

  Giulio sits on a kitchen bar stool. One foot rests on the rail, the other long leg is outstretched towards me. I unravel his anguished expression. It only intensifies the pain of losing the twins.

  “It’s true.” His mouth quivers. “I would have never had a track record. I would have never met you. I would have never married you. Our children wouldn’t exist. We wouldn’t be eating each other alive because of all the pain. Addilyn wouldn’t have been abducted. Oscar and Slonne wouldn’t have been stolen. I wouldn’t be your husband and maybe that is a good thing.”

  I don’t like the rawness of Giulio’s words. They are harsh and precise. Sharp enough to puncture the remaining piece of my heart. The piece that is specifically still for him, even on a night like tonight.